by Emily Brontë
CHAPTER XII
While Miss Linton moped about the park and garden, always silent, andalmost always in tears; and her brother shut himself up among books thathe never opened--wearying, I guessed, with a continual vague expectationthat Catherine, repenting her conduct, would come of her own accord toask pardon, and seek a reconciliation--and _she_ fasted pertinaciously,under the idea, probably, that at every meal Edgar was ready to choke forher absence, and pride alone held him from running to cast himself at herfeet; I went about my household duties, convinced that the Grange had butone sensible soul in its walls, and that lodged in my body. I wasted nocondolences on Miss, nor any expostulations on my mistress; nor did I paymuch attention to the sighs of my master, who yearned to hear his lady'sname, since he might not hear her voice. I determined they should comeabout as they pleased for me; and though it was a tiresomely slowprocess, I began to rejoice at length in a faint dawn of its progress: asI thought at first.
Mrs. Linton, on the third day, unbarred her door, and having finished thewater in her pitcher and decanter, desired a renewed supply, and a basinof gruel, for she believed she was dying. That I set down as a speechmeant for Edgar's ears; I believed no such thing, so I kept it to myselfand brought her some tea and dry toast. She ate and drank eagerly, andsank back on her pillow again, clenching her hands and groaning. 'Oh, Iwill die,' she exclaimed, 'since no one cares anything about me. I wishI had not taken that.' Then a good while after I heard her murmur, 'No,I'll not die--he'd be glad--he does not love me at all--he would nevermiss me!'
'Did you want anything, ma'am?' I inquired, still preserving my externalcomposure, in spite of her ghastly countenance and strange, exaggeratedmanner.
'What is that apathetic being doing?' she demanded, pushing the thickentangled locks from her wasted face. 'Has he fallen into a lethargy, oris he dead?'
'Neither,' replied I; 'if you mean Mr. Linton. He's tolerably well, Ithink, though his studies occupy him rather more than they ought: he iscontinually among his books, since he has no other society.'
I should not have spoken so if I had known her true condition, but Icould not get rid of the notion that she acted a part of her disorder.
'Among his books!' she cried, confounded. 'And I dying! I on the brinkof the grave! My God! does he know how I'm altered?' continued she,staring at her reflection in a mirror hanging against the opposite wall.'Is that Catherine Linton? He imagines me in a pet--in play, perhaps.Cannot you inform him that it is frightful earnest? Nelly, if it be nottoo late, as soon as I learn how he feels, I'll choose between these two:either to starve at once--that would be no punishment unless he had aheart--or to recover, and leave the country. Are you speaking the truthabout him now? Take care. Is he actually so utterly indifferent for mylife?'
'Why, ma'am,' I answered, 'the master has no idea of your being deranged;and of course he does not fear that you will let yourself die of hunger.'
'You think not? Cannot you tell him I will?' she returned. 'Persuadehim! speak of your own mind: say you are certain I will!'
'No, you forget, Mrs. Linton,' I suggested, 'that you have eaten somefood with a relish this evening, and to-morrow you will perceive its goodeffects.'
'If I were only sure it would kill him,' she interrupted, 'I'd killmyself directly! These three awful nights I've never closed my lids--andoh, I've been tormented! I've been haunted, Nelly! But I begin to fancyyou don't like me. How strange! I thought, though everybody hated anddespised each other, they could not avoid loving me. And they have allturned to enemies in a few hours: they have, I'm positive; the peoplehere. How dreary to meet death, surrounded by their cold faces!Isabella, terrified and repelled, afraid to enter the room, it would beso dreadful to watch Catherine go. And Edgar standing solemnly by to seeit over; then offering prayers of thanks to God for restoring peace tohis house, and going back to his _books_! What in the name of all thatfeels has he to do with _books_, when I am dying?'
She could not bear the notion which I had put into her head of Mr.Linton's philosophical resignation. Tossing about, she increased herfeverish bewilderment to madness, and tore the pillow with her teeth;then raising herself up all burning, desired that I would open thewindow. We were in the middle of winter, the wind blew strong from thenorth-east, and I objected. Both the expressions flitting over her face,and the changes of her moods, began to alarm me terribly; and brought tomy recollection her former illness, and the doctor's injunction that sheshould not be crossed. A minute previously she was violent; now,supported on one arm, and not noticing my refusal to obey her, she seemedto find childish diversion in pulling the feathers from the rents she hadjust made, and ranging them on the sheet according to their differentspecies: her mind had strayed to other associations.
'That's a turkey's,' she murmured to herself; 'and this is a wild duck's;and this is a pigeon's. Ah, they put pigeons' feathers in the pillows--nowonder I couldn't die! Let me take care to throw it on the floor when Ilie down. And here is a moor-cock's; and this--I should know it among athousand--it's a lapwing's. Bonny bird; wheeling over our heads in themiddle of the moor. It wanted to get to its nest, for the clouds hadtouched the swells, and it felt rain coming. This feather was picked upfrom the heath, the bird was not shot: we saw its nest in the winter,full of little skeletons. Heathcliff set a trap over it, and the oldones dared not come. I made him promise he'd never shoot a lapwing afterthat, and he didn't. Yes, here are more! Did he shoot my lapwings,Nelly? Are they red, any of them? Let me look.'
'Give over with that baby-work!' I interrupted, dragging the pillow away,and turning the holes towards the mattress, for she was removing itscontents by handfuls. 'Lie down and shut your eyes: you're wandering.There's a mess! The down is flying about like snow.'
I went here and there collecting it.
'I see in you, Nelly,' she continued dreamily, 'an aged woman: you havegrey hair and bent shoulders. This bed is the fairy cave under Penistonecrags, and you are gathering elf-bolts to hurt our heifers; pretending,while I am near, that they are only locks of wool. That's what you'llcome to fifty years hence: I know you are not so now. I'm not wandering:you're mistaken, or else I should believe you really _were_ that witheredhag, and I should think I _was_ under Penistone Crags; and I'm consciousit's night, and there are two candles on the table making the black pressshine like jet.'
'The black press? where is that?' I asked. 'You are talking in yoursleep!'
'It's against the wall, as it always is,' she replied. 'It _does_ appearodd--I see a face in it!'
'There's no press in the room, and never was,' said I, resuming my seat,and looping up the curtain that I might watch her.
'Don't _you_ see that face?' she inquired, gazing earnestly at themirror.
And say what I could, I was incapable of making her comprehend it to beher own; so I rose and covered it with a shawl.
'It's behind there still!' she pursued, anxiously. 'And it stirred. Whois it? I hope it will not come out when you are gone! Oh! Nelly, theroom is haunted! I'm afraid of being alone!'
I took her hand in mine, and bid her be composed; for a succession ofshudders convulsed her frame, and she would keep straining her gazetowards the glass.
'There's nobody here!' I insisted. 'It was _yourself_, Mrs. Linton: youknew it a while since.'
'Myself!' she gasped, 'and the clock is striking twelve! It's true,then! that's dreadful!'
Her fingers clutched the clothes, and gathered them over her eyes. Iattempted to steal to the door with an intention of calling her husband;but I was summoned back by a piercing shriek--the shawl had dropped fromthe frame.
'Why, what is the matter?' cried I. 'Who is coward now? Wake up! Thatis the glass--the mirror, Mrs. Linton; and you see yourself in it, andthere am I too by your side.'
Trembling and bewildered, she held me fast, but the horror graduallypassed from her countenance; its paleness gave place to a glow of shame.
'Oh, dear! I though
t I was at home,' she sighed. 'I thought I was lyingin my chamber at Wuthering Heights. Because I'm weak, my brain gotconfused, and I screamed unconsciously. Don't say anything; but staywith me. I dread sleeping: my dreams appal me.'
'A sound sleep would do you good, ma'am,' I answered: 'and I hope thissuffering will prevent your trying starving again.'
'Oh, if I were but in my own bed in the old house!' she went on bitterly,wringing her hands. 'And that wind sounding in the firs by the lattice.Do let me feel it--it comes straight down the moor--do let me have onebreath!' To pacify her I held the casement ajar a few seconds. A coldblast rushed through; I closed it, and returned to my post. She laystill now, her face bathed in tears. Exhaustion of body had entirelysubdued her spirit: our fiery Catherine was no better than a wailingchild.
'How long is it since I shut myself in here?' she asked, suddenlyreviving.
'It was Monday evening,' I replied, 'and this is Thursday night, orrather Friday morning, at present.'
'What! of the same week?' she exclaimed. 'Only that brief time?'
'Long enough to live on nothing but cold water and ill-temper,' observedI.
'Well, it seems a weary number of hours,' she muttered doubtfully: 'itmust be more. I remember being in the parlour after they had quarrelled,and Edgar being cruelly provoking, and me running into this roomdesperate. As soon as ever I had barred the door, utter blacknessoverwhelmed me, and I fell on the floor. I couldn't explain to Edgar howcertain I felt of having a fit, or going raging mad, if he persisted inteasing me! I had no command of tongue, or brain, and he did not guessmy agony, perhaps: it barely left me sense to try to escape from him andhis voice. Before I recovered sufficiently to see and hear, it began tobe dawn, and, Nelly, I'll tell you what I thought, and what has keptrecurring and recurring till I feared for my reason. I thought as I laythere, with my head against that table leg, and my eyes dimly discerningthe grey square of the window, that I was enclosed in the oak-panelledbed at home; and my heart ached with some great grief which, justwaking, I could not recollect. I pondered, and worried myself todiscover what it could be, and, most strangely, the whole last sevenyears of my life grew a blank! I did not recall that they had been atall. I was a child; my father was just buried, and my misery arose fromthe separation that Hindley had ordered between me and Heathcliff. I waslaid alone, for the first time; and, rousing from a dismal doze after anight of weeping, I lifted my hand to push the panels aside: it struckthe table-top! I swept it along the carpet, and then memory burst in: mylate anguish was swallowed in a paroxysm of despair. I cannot say why Ifelt so wildly wretched: it must have been temporary derangement; forthere is scarcely cause. But, supposing at twelve years old I had beenwrenched from the Heights, and every early association, and my all inall, as Heathcliff was at that time, and been converted at a stroke intoMrs. Linton, the lady of Thrushcross Grange, and the wife of a stranger:an exile, and outcast, thenceforth, from what had been my world. You mayfancy a glimpse of the abyss where I grovelled! Shake your head as youwill, Nelly, you have helped to unsettle me! You should have spoken toEdgar, indeed you should, and compelled him to leave me quiet! Oh, I'mburning! I wish I were out of doors! I wish I were a girl again, halfsavage and hardy, and free; and laughing at injuries, not maddeningunder them! Why am I so changed? why does my blood rush into a hell oftumult at a few words? I'm sure I should be myself were I once among theheather on those hills. Open the window again wide: fasten it open!Quick, why don't you move?'
'Because I won't give you your death of cold,' I answered.
'You won't give me a chance of life, you mean,' she said, sullenly.'However, I'm not helpless yet; I'll open it myself.'
And sliding from the bed before I could hinder her, she crossed the room,walking very uncertainly, threw it back, and bent out, careless of thefrosty air that cut about her shoulders as keen as a knife. I entreated,and finally attempted to force her to retire. But I soon found herdelirious strength much surpassed mine (she was delirious, I becameconvinced by her subsequent actions and ravings). There was no moon, andeverything beneath lay in misty darkness: not a light gleamed from anyhouse, far or near all had been extinguished long ago: and those atWuthering Heights were never visible--still she asserted she caught theirshining.
'Look!' she cried eagerly, 'that's my room with the candle in it, and thetrees swaying before it; and the other candle is in Joseph's garret.Joseph sits up late, doesn't he? He's waiting till I come home that hemay lock the gate. Well, he'll wait a while yet. It's a rough journey,and a sad heart to travel it; and we must pass by Gimmerton Kirk to gothat journey! We've braved its ghosts often together, and dared eachother to stand among the graves and ask them to come. But, Heathcliff,if I dare you now, will you venture? If you do, I'll keep you. I'll notlie there by myself: they may bury me twelve feet deep, and throw thechurch down over me, but I won't rest till you are with me. I neverwill!'
She paused, and resumed with a strange smile. 'He's considering--he'drather I'd come to him! Find a way, then! not through that kirkyard. Youare slow! Be content, you always followed me!'
Perceiving it vain to argue against her insanity, I was planning how Icould reach something to wrap about her, without quitting my hold ofherself (for I could not trust her alone by the gaping lattice), when, tomy consternation, I heard the rattle of the door-handle, and Mr. Lintonentered. He had only then come from the library; and, in passing throughthe lobby, had noticed our talking and been attracted by curiosity, orfear, to examine what it signified, at that late hour.
'Oh, sir!' I cried, checking the exclamation risen to his lips at thesight which met him, and the bleak atmosphere of the chamber. 'My poormistress is ill, and she quite masters me: I cannot manage her at all;pray, come and persuade her to go to bed. Forget your anger, for she'shard to guide any way but her own.'
'Catherine ill?' he said, hastening to us. 'Shut the window, Ellen!Catherine! why--'
He was silent. The haggardness of Mrs. Linton's appearance smote himspeechless, and he could only glance from her to me in horrifiedastonishment.
'She's been fretting here,' I continued, 'and eating scarcely anything,and never complaining: she would admit none of us till this evening, andso we couldn't inform you of her state, as we were not aware of itourselves; but it is nothing.'
I felt I uttered my explanations awkwardly; the master frowned. 'It isnothing, is it, Ellen Dean?' he said sternly. 'You shall account moreclearly for keeping me ignorant of this!' And he took his wife in hisarms, and looked at her with anguish.
At first she gave him no glance of recognition: he was invisible to herabstracted gaze. The delirium was not fixed, however; having weaned hereyes from contemplating the outer darkness, by degrees she centred herattention on him, and discovered who it was that held her.
'Ah! you are come, are you, Edgar Linton?' she said, with angryanimation. 'You are one of those things that are ever found when leastwanted, and when you are wanted, never! I suppose we shall have plentyof lamentations now--I see we shall--but they can't keep me from mynarrow home out yonder: my resting-place, where I'm bound before springis over! There it is: not among the Lintons, mind, under thechapel-roof, but in the open air, with a head-stone; and you may pleaseyourself whether you go to them or come to me!'
'Catherine, what have you done?' commenced the master. 'Am I nothing toyou any more? Do you love that wretch Heath--'
'Hush!' cried Mrs. Linton. 'Hush, this moment! You mention that nameand I end the matter instantly by a spring from the window! What youtouch at present you may have; but my soul will be on that hill-topbefore you lay hands on me again. I don't want you, Edgar: I'm pastwanting you. Return to your books. I'm glad you possess a consolation,for all you had in me is gone.'
'Her mind wanders, sir,' I interposed. 'She has been talking nonsensethe whole evening; but let her have quiet, and proper attendance, andshe'll rally. Hereafter, we must be cautious how we vex her.'
'I desire no further
advice from you,' answered Mr. Linton. 'You knewyour mistress's nature, and you encouraged me to harass her. And not togive me one hint of how she has been these three days! It was heartless!Months of sickness could not cause such a change!'
I began to defend myself, thinking it too bad to be blamed for another'swicked waywardness. 'I knew Mrs. Linton's nature to be headstrong anddomineering,' cried I: 'but I didn't know that you wished to foster herfierce temper! I didn't know that, to humour her, I should wink at Mr.Heathcliff. I performed the duty of a faithful servant in telling you,and I have got a faithful servant's wages! Well, it will teach me to becareful next time. Next time you may gather intelligence for yourself!'
'The next time you bring a tale to me you shall quit my service, EllenDean,' he replied.
'You'd rather hear nothing about it, I suppose, then, Mr. Linton?' saidI. 'Heathcliff has your permission to come a-courting to Miss, and todrop in at every opportunity your absence offers, on purpose to poisonthe mistress against you?'
Confused as Catherine was, her wits were alert at applying ourconversation.
'Ah! Nelly has played traitor,' she exclaimed, passionately. 'Nelly ismy hidden enemy. You witch! So you do seek elf-bolts to hurt us! Letme go, and I'll make her rue! I'll make her howl a recantation!'
A maniac's fury kindled under her brows; she struggled desperately todisengage herself from Linton's arms. I felt no inclination to tarry theevent; and, resolving to seek medical aid on my own responsibility, Iquitted the chamber.
In passing the garden to reach the road, at a place where a bridle hookis driven into the wall, I saw something white moved irregularly,evidently by another agent than the wind. Notwithstanding my hurry, Istayed to examine it, lest ever after I should have the convictionimpressed on my imagination that it was a creature of the other world. Mysurprise and perplexity were great on discovering, by touch more thanvision, Miss Isabella's springer, Fanny, suspended by a handkerchief, andnearly at its last gasp. I quickly released the animal, and lifted itinto the garden. I had seen it follow its mistress up-stairs when shewent to bed; and wondered much how it could have got out there, and whatmischievous person had treated it so. While untying the knot round thehook, it seemed to me that I repeatedly caught the beat of horses' feetgalloping at some distance; but there were such a number of things tooccupy my reflections that I hardly gave the circumstance a thought:though it was a strange sound, in that place, at two o'clock in themorning.
Mr. Kenneth was fortunately just issuing from his house to see a patientin the village as I came up the street; and my account of CatherineLinton's malady induced him to accompany me back immediately. He was aplain rough man; and he made no scruple to speak his doubts of hersurviving this second attack; unless she were more submissive to hisdirections than she had shown herself before.
'Nelly Dean,' said he, 'I can't help fancying there's an extra cause forthis. What has there been to do at the Grange? We've odd reports uphere. A stout, hearty lass like Catherine does not fall ill for atrifle; and that sort of people should not either. It's hard workbringing them through fevers, and such things. How did it begin?'
'The master will inform you,' I answered; 'but you are acquainted withthe Earnshaws' violent dispositions, and Mrs. Linton caps them all. Imay say this; it commenced in a quarrel. She was struck during a tempestof passion with a kind of fit. That's her account, at least: for sheflew off in the height of it, and locked herself up. Afterwards, sherefused to eat, and now she alternately raves and remains in a halfdream; knowing those about her, but having her mind filled with all sortsof strange ideas and illusions.'
'Mr. Linton will be sorry?' observed Kenneth, interrogatively.
'Sorry? he'll break his heart should anything happen!' I replied. 'Don'talarm him more than necessary.'
'Well, I told him to beware,' said my companion; 'and he must bide theconsequences of neglecting my warning! Hasn't he been intimate with Mr.Heathcliff lately?'
'Heathcliff frequently visits at the Grange,' answered I, 'though more onthe strength of the mistress having known him when a boy, than becausethe master likes his company. At present he's discharged from thetrouble of calling; owing to some presumptuous aspirations after MissLinton which he manifested. I hardly think he'll be taken in again.'
'And does Miss Linton turn a cold shoulder on him?' was the doctor's nextquestion.
'I'm not in her confidence,' returned I, reluctant to continue thesubject.
'No, she's a sly one,' he remarked, shaking his head. 'She keeps her owncounsel! But she's a real little fool. I have it from good authoritythat last night (and a pretty night it was!) she and Heathcliff werewalking in the plantation at the back of your house above two hours; andhe pressed her not to go in again, but just mount his horse and away withhim! My informant said she could only put him off by pledging her wordof honour to be prepared on their first meeting after that: when it wasto be he didn't hear; but you urge Mr. Linton to look sharp!'
This news filled me with fresh fears; I outstripped Kenneth, and ran mostof the way back. The little dog was yelping in the garden yet. I spareda minute to open the gate for it, but instead of going to the house door,it coursed up and down snuffing the grass, and would have escaped to theroad, had I not seized it and conveyed it in with me. On ascending toIsabella's room, my suspicions were confirmed: it was empty. Had I beena few hours sooner Mrs. Linton's illness might have arrested her rashstep. But what could be done now? There was a bare possibility ofovertaking them if pursued instantly. _I_ could not pursue them,however; and I dared not rouse the family, and fill the place withconfusion; still less unfold the business to my master, absorbed as hewas in his present calamity, and having no heart to spare for a secondgrief! I saw nothing for it but to hold my tongue, and suffer matters totake their course; and Kenneth being arrived, I went with a badlycomposed countenance to announce him. Catherine lay in a troubled sleep:her husband had succeeded in soothing the excess of frenzy; he now hungover her pillow, watching every shade and every change of her painfullyexpressive features.
The doctor, on examining the case for himself, spoke hopefully to him ofits having a favourable termination, if we could only preserve around herperfect and constant tranquillity. To me, he signified the threateningdanger was not so much death, as permanent alienation of intellect.
I did not close my eyes that night, nor did Mr. Linton: indeed, we neverwent to bed; and the servants were all up long before the usual hour,moving through the house with stealthy tread, and exchanging whispers asthey encountered each other in their vocations. Every one was active butMiss Isabella; and they began to remark how sound she slept: her brother,too, asked if she had risen, and seemed impatient for her presence, andhurt that she showed so little anxiety for her sister-in-law. I trembledlest he should send me to call her; but I was spared the pain of beingthe first proclaimant of her flight. One of the maids, a thoughtlessgirl, who had been on an early errand to Gimmerton, came pantingup-stairs, open-mouthed, and dashed into the chamber, crying: 'Oh, dear,dear! What mun we have next? Master, master, our young lady--'
'Hold your noise!' cried, I hastily, enraged at her clamorous manner.
'Speak lower, Mary--What is the matter?' said Mr. Linton. 'What ailsyour young lady?'
'She's gone, she's gone! Yon' Heathcliff's run off wi' her!' gasped thegirl.
'That is not true!' exclaimed Linton, rising in agitation. 'It cannotbe: how has the idea entered your head? Ellen Dean, go and seek her. Itis incredible: it cannot be.'
As he spoke he took the servant to the door, and then repeated his demandto know her reasons for such an assertion.
'Why, I met on the road a lad that fetches milk here,' she stammered,'and he asked whether we weren't in trouble at the Grange. I thought hemeant for missis's sickness, so I answered, yes. Then says he, "There'ssomebody gone after 'em, I guess?" I stared. He saw I knew nought aboutit, and he told how a gentleman and lady had stopped to have
a horse'sshoe fastened at a blacksmith's shop, two miles out of Gimmerton, notvery long after midnight! and how the blacksmith's lass had got up to spywho they were: she knew them both directly. And she noticed theman--Heathcliff it was, she felt certain: nob'dy could mistake him,besides--put a sovereign in her father's hand for payment. The lady hada cloak about her face; but having desired a sup of water, while shedrank it fell back, and she saw her very plain. Heathcliff held bothbridles as they rode on, and they set their faces from the village, andwent as fast as the rough roads would let them. The lass said nothing toher father, but she told it all over Gimmerton this morning.'
I ran and peeped, for form's sake, into Isabella's room; confirming, whenI returned, the servant's statement. Mr. Linton had resumed his seat bythe bed; on my re-entrance, he raised his eyes, read the meaning of myblank aspect, and dropped them without giving an order, or uttering aword.
'Are we to try any measures for overtaking and bringing her back,' Iinquired. 'How should we do?'
'She went of her own accord,' answered the master; 'she had a right to goif she pleased. Trouble me no more about her. Hereafter she is only mysister in name: not because I disown her, but because she has disownedme.'
And that was all he said on the subject: he did not make single inquiryfurther, or mention her in any way, except directing me to send whatproperty she had in the house to her fresh home, wherever it was, when Iknew it.