Lies Unspoken

by Lisa De Jong

  Within a few seconds, he has me on my back, tugging my clothes off in record time before working the button of his jeans. He thrusts into me without hesitation keeping his eyes on me the entire time. “Have you ever been out here before like this?” he asks, pushing in then slowly pulling back out.

  “No,” I answer, struggling to speak.

  “I like being your first.”

  The pressure builds. “You’re my first baby daddy, too.”

  He thrusts all the way in, filling me completely. “I’m your only baby daddy. Now and forever; I promise you that.”

  The rest is sweet bliss.

  A feeling that goes beyond happiness to euphoria.

  And ends in ecstasy.

  WE DROVE FRANK BACK to Chicago yesterday. It wasn’t without a few bumps with a bout of morning sickness that slowed us down in the morning, followed by a craving for pancakes—pancakes with Nutella.

  Today is different. I’m about to walk into Stanley Enterprises for the last time. And Mallory comes home, that’s something to look forward to. I’ll need it after a day like today.

  The first few minutes are like any other day. I set my stuff on my desk and power on my computer. Reece is leaning against my cubicle with coffee in hand right on cue.

  “Hey, stranger. How was your trip home?”

  “Crap. I completely forgot to call you. Things got a little hectic.”

  She raises her brow, shaking her head. “You have to give me more than that.”

  “Blake drove all the way to Nebraska. We made up, I went to the doctor and confirmed that everything was okay, and then we spent some time with my family.”

  “Back up,” she says, holding her hand up. “You took him back again?”

  I wrinkle my nose. It’s hard to explain without telling her things I can’t. “To understand Blake, you have to know him. There are things he told me I can’t share that help explain why he runs. You just have to trust me when I say he deserves another chance. Besides that, I love him enough to try again.”

  “I really want to yell at you right now, but I’d probably do the same thing. In fact, I know I would because I’m even more of a hopeless romantic than you are.”

  I smile. “Isn’t that the truth.”

  “So where are you guys at now?” she asks, sipping from her cup.

  “We’re together. I’m his. He’s mine.”

  “I’m happy for you. I really am, but if he leaves again, you better let him go.”

  “Oh, don’t worry. He’s already been told. Having a baby is forcing us to at least pretend to be adults.”

  She’s beaming this morning. Something is definitely different about her, but I can’t put my finger on it

  “What have you been up to this week?”

  “I went on a date with the guy from IT. He doesn’t look so bad in jeans and a T-shirt.”

  Now it’s my turn to raise my brow. “Big Bang Theory guy?”

  “Yes, I actually went on a second one the other night. He gave me the best kiss I’ve ever had, hands down,” she says quietly, glancing around to make sure no one else can hear.

  “Does that mean there’s going to be a third?”

  She grins. I notice she has a new shade of red lipstick to go with her tight red dress. “He’s taking me out to dinner tonight. I’m glad I gave him a chance; he’s funny and smart. There’s never a quiet moment.”

  “Oh, Reece has herself a boyfriend. I’m happy for you. I can’t think of anyone who deserves a little romance in their life more than you.”

  “Maybe we can double sometime? I don’t know how much Blake would have in common with him, but it would be fun.”

  Sadness rains on my mood. There’s something else I need to tell her, but I need to talk to Pierce first. “Yeah, let’s do that if tonight goes well and all.”

  “Oh, I’m hoping it goes really well.”

  “Reece!”

  “What?” she says through gritted teeth. “You aren’t one to talk.”

  “You’re right. I’ll shut up.”

  “Yeah, that’s right.”

  I rub my forehead, stressing over everything I have to do today. “Can we catch up later? I have to go talk to Pierce for a few minutes.”

  “Are you still battling morning sickness? You don’t look so good.”

  “I kissed the toilet twice before I even left for work. It’s usually over by lunch, so I have that to look forward to.”

  “Just let me know if you need anything,” she says as she walks away. I almost wish she could stay so I could avoid the inevitable.

  After yet another trip to the bathroom, I head to Pierce’s office. The door is open a crack so I knock lightly, pushing it open in the process.

  He immediately stands from his desk, giving me all his attention. “You’re back.”

  “We drove back yesterday. You can’t avoid real life forever.”

  “It would be nice, wouldn’t it?”

  I smile, shutting the door behind me. “It would. Look, Pierce, I need to talk to you about something.”

  “Take a seat.”

  I do, mostly because my stomach is already turning again. Add some nerves to morning sickness, and it’s a whole new ball game. “First, I want to say thank you.”

  “For what?” He comes around the desk, sitting along the edge with his arms crossed over his chest.

  “For helping Blake find me. I know how hard that must have been for you.”

  He shrugs like it was nothing. “It was the right thing to do.”

  I nod, leaving it at that. “Today is going to be my last day here. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, but it’s not fair to Blake. The more I think about it, I’d hate to be in his shoes given everything that you and I’ve been through.”

  “I know how he feels, but is there any way I can change your mind? You may be one of my newest designers, but you’re also one of the best.”

  Shaking my head, I say, “No, I think I’m going to start something small from home. Something I can continue after the baby comes.”

  He smiles sadly. “I’m going to miss you.”

  “I’ll miss you, too,” I admit on the verge of losing it. Pierce was the first person I met in Chicago. A lot has happened between us that I’ll never forget, but sometimes, you even have to let good people go.

  “I told him if he hurts you again, I’m going to kick his ass. Hold him to the promise he made me.”

  “Trust me, if he leaves again, there won’t be any need to. I’ll kick his butt first.”

  I stand, needing to make my escape before I turn into a mess. He surprises me, pulling me in for a hug. “If there’s anything you need, don’t be afraid to call me. You’ll always have a special place in my heart.”

  “You’ll always be in mine. Someday, I hope you find someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved. You deserve that.”

  “I thought I had, but I had to let her go.”

  “There’s still someone out there for you. I truly believe that. It wasn’t me.”

  “Only time will tell,” he remarks, letting his arms fall away from me.

  “Bye, Pierce,” I say, putting a couple feet of space between us.

  “Bye, Ms. Fields.”

  When I look up, he has the look of sorrow. This is a forever goodbye, and we both know it.

  I hurry out, running back to the same bathroom I’d been in before stepping into Pierce’s office. I cry for a few minutes because in some ways I just lost my best friend.

  In another time, he could have been the one, but my heart belongs to Blake. It always will.

  After straightening myself out, I head to Reece’s desk to break the news to her. It’s not going to be easy, but I’ll still get to see her after I leave here.

  She’s staring at a drawing on her computer and doesn’t see me coming. “Reece.” My voice is quiet in an attempt to not scare her.

  “Jesus, Lila. I’m supposed to be the one scaring you.”

&n
bsp; “Sorry, I was wondering if you could come over tonight before your date for a little bit? Mallory will be back, and I’d like you to meet her.” And there’s something else I need to tell you, I think to myself.

  “I should be able to. I don’t think our dinner reservation is until 7:30. Do you want me to bring anything?”

  “No, I’ll have a bottle of wine chilled, though.”

  “Now you’re talking. Do you want me to ride home with you?” she asks.

  “No. I mean … I’m going to leave early today because I have a few things I have to take care of.”

  “You’re okay, though, right?”

  “More than,” I say, smiling. There’s a lot to look forward to.

  “Does six work?”

  “Perfect. I’ll see you then.”

  I head to my desk next, throwing the few personal belongings I have into my bag. As I walk away, I glance back at my desk one last time, putting it into memory. I always thought this was my dream, but it wasn’t really. My dream was to be happy, and I’m finally there.

  I drop an envelope off to Jane with Pierce’s name on it that holds my keys and passwords inside. For the last time, I step in the elevator and ride to the lobby. It’s just another moment where I hope I’m making the right decision. Another one of those darn forks in the road.

  Blake isn’t home when I open the door, but Mallory is standing in the kitchen making cupcakes. I feel like we’re right back in college again. She drops her mixer and pulls me in for her signature bear hug.

  “I haven’t done that in over a year.”

  I laugh. “I hope you didn’t break my ribs.”

  “Are you hungry?”

  “What are you making?”

  She practically skips back to the kitchen, pouring chocolate chips into her bowl. “Chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese, chocolate chip filling and a ganache on top.”

  My stomach growls. Nothing has stayed down yet today. “I’ll have a few crackers and some ginger ale while they bake. I’ll be more than ready by the time they’re done.”

  She grimaces. “Is that a new diet I haven’t heard about?”

  I clear my throat and take a deep breath. Might as well just get it over with. “No, I’m pregnant.”

  The spoon literally clanks against the metal bowl as she looks up at me. “What?”

  “I’m going to have a baby. I just found out last week.”

  She grasps the edge of the counter, mouth hanging open. “Who—”

  “It’s Blake’s. I had an ultrasound last week when I went back home. There’s no question about that.”

  “How did he react? You told him, right?” she asks, shoulders falling forward.

  I nod. “We’re fine. More than fine actually.”

  “You’re talking about Blake Stone, right? My Blake Stone.”

  “Of course. The jerk I fell in love with because you neglected to tell me I was going to have a roommate when I moved here.”

  She stirs frantically. “Do you know where he is? I got in a little after noon and haven’t seen him.”

  “He was heading to the studio today to work on a few things. I’m actually going to run over there if you want to join me.”

  “I’d love to, but I’m so tired of traveling. Besides, I think I need a few minutes to process all this before he comes home. I don’t know if I want to hug him or kill him.”

  I give her my evil eyes. “Don’t kill him. He’s my baby daddy.”

  “Gross,” she gags, stirring even faster.

  “By the way, my friend Reece is coming over at 6:00, and I’m going to call my friend Dana, too. Want to join us for a few minutes? I kind of had something I wanted to tell everyone all at once.”

  Her eyes widen. “There’s more?”

  “It’s not a big deal … not compared to the other news.”

  “Do I get my bed tonight?” she asks.

  “It’s all yours. I’m curling up with Blake.”

  “You can go now.”

  “I feel so loved!” I yell as I walk out the door to hail a cab.

  I find a ride easily since it’s only two o’clock on a Monday afternoon. When I came to Chicago, I was running from my emotions—from the past. I found a new home, but it had nothing to do with where I’m at, but everything to do with the people I met. They could go anywhere with me, and it would be home.

  As we continue down the familiar city streets, I call Dana, asking if she can meet us at the apartment tonight. Not much to my surprise, Charlie agrees to give her the night off because it’s Monday and all. I mention the baby because I want her to hear it from me before she steps into the apartment tonight. She’s surprised, but like everyone else, she’s supportive, telling me she’ll do whatever I need. Her kindness makes leaving even harder.

  After paying the driver, I run up the metal stairs. Blake is standing right in front of me with his arms wide open when I walk in.

  “Hey, baby. How did everything go today?”

  I bury my nose in his T-shirt, breathing in his familiar scent. Home. “It wasn’t easy, but I have no regrets.”

  “Did you tell the girls?” he asks, rubbing his hands up and down my back.

  “They’re coming over at six. I figured I’d tell Mallory then, too. I told her about the baby.”

  His hands stall for just a second before they continue massaging my back. “What did she say?”

  “She thinks we’re nuts.”

  “We are.”

  I laugh, standing as tall as I can to kiss him.

  I notice his paintings stacked against the wall. “What are you doing with all those?”

  “I’m keeping some and putting others in a gallery to sell. We’re not going to have room for all of this.”

  “Which ones are you keeping?” he points to the smaller stack, and I immediately walk to it. The first is the picture of me, then a few I don’t recognize, and the last is the one he’d done in the apartment several weeks back. The one that was very unlike his usual work. “Are you going to tell me about this one?”

  “The day I painted that was the day she was supposed to be born two years ago,” he responds, coming to stand behind me.

  “She?”

  “Yeah, the blood work determined the baby was a girl. For some reason, it really hit me that day. Finally letting myself mourn Aly while I was gone for all those months let me mourn her. I even gave her a name.”

  I reach my hand back, tangling my fingers with his. “What is it?”

  “Anna. Aly always loved the name Anna.”

  It’s a simple gray tree with no leaves, only branches. To the right sits four little pink birds. What I never noticed before were the letters etched inside each that spell Anna. My eyes well up just thinking about how lucky our baby is going to be to have a dad like him. He’s a little hard on the outside, but all kinds of sweet on the inside.

  “I’m glad you’re keeping it. Where’s the one of Alyssa?”

  “I’m not selling it. I just haven’t decided where I want to put it. Maybe I should give it to Pierce.”

  “But, it’s yours. I don’t want you to feel like you have to give it up because of me.”

  His arms come around me, hands covering my stomach. “It has nothing to do with you. There just comes a point where you have to let go.”

  “What do you want to do?”

  He rests his chin on my shoulder. “I’ll always have the photograph and the memory. I think I’d like to give this one to Pierce.”

  “I think he’d like that.” I can only imagine Pierce’s face when he sees it. Pierce cleaned up some of the bad blood between them when he helped Blake find me last week. If this doesn’t take care of the rest, I’d be surprised.

  “Let me get these loaded into Frank and then we’ll get you home. I’d like to see Mallory for a few hours before we go,” he says, pecking my cheek.

  “Do you want some help?”

  “Don’t even think about it. I’m putting you in bubble wrap until Ap
ril. By Christmas, you won’t even be able to leave the house without me on your tail.”

  “Blake—”

  “Don’t argue with me, Lemon Drop. You know you don’t have a chance at winning.”

  He’s right so I might as well save my energy. He carries the first two out to the car, only allowing me to unlock the trunk. I hold it open as he carries out the other three then we drive away leaving the warehouse in the rearview.

  “How do you feel about all this?” he asks.

  “I’m excited and nervous, but that comes with any change,” I say honestly.

  He grabs my hand. “We’ll be fine as long as we’re in it together.”

  “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” I ask.

  He pulls my hand to his lips, kissing each of my knuckles. “More than okay.”

  When we walk into the apartment, I stay back waiting to see if Mallory is going to hug or strangle Blake. She pulls him in for a signature hug but says something to him that makes his eyes double in size. She pinches his side, which causes a yelp.

  “What was that for?” he asks, rubbing against his ribs.

  “For being a jerk to my best friend.”

  “Jesus, Mal. Stop acting like a thirteen-year-old girl.”

  “I will when you start acting like a twenty-seven-year-old man,” she chides back.

  “I’m all man, obviously.” He winks at me, and all I can do is roll my eyes.

  “Pig,” she teases.

  “Squirrel!” he yells before he disappears into his bedroom. She told me once that he always called her that when they were kids.

  “I can’t believe it.” Her voice is quiet as she stares at his closed door. “My brother actually looks happy.”

  I shrug like it’s nothing, but inside I’m dancing. Before I have time to respond, there’s a knock at the door.

  “Do you want me to get it?” Mallory asks.

  “No, I’ve got it,” I answer back, opening the door to Dana. She looks cute in a pair of black leggings and an oversized black and white striped tank.

  She wraps her arm around my neck. “How are you doing, Mama?”

  “As long as we’re past noon, I’m good.”

  “I brought a bottle of sparkling grape juice so we can celebrate.” I laugh when I get a glimpse of the brown paper bag it came in. She shrugs. “I don’t want anyone to think I can’t hold the real stuff.”