by Robin Roseau
“I’m sorry she’s hurting.”
“She and Kari fought horribly all the time,” Cassidy explained. “They’re both amazing women and both far better off apart.”
“Who ended it?”
“I haven’t asked. All I know is that Kari moved out.”
“Got it. Who else will I meet?”
We wandered the party. We found a table set up for drinks. I found a soda, and Cassidy poured iced tea. That was one thing I liked about her; she didn’t drink alcohol in front of me. I wasn’t 21 yet, after all, and she was driving besides.
“Cassidy?”
We turned, and striding towards us was a statuesque woman with shoulder-length hair, dressed casually, with a glass of wine in her hands. Beside her was a tiny woman of, I thought, Japanese ancestry.
“May,” Cassidy said.
“We thought you had died,” May said. She stepped forward and pulled Cassidy into a hug. I thought perhaps they didn’t have a hugging relationship, as Cassidy looked rather surprised by it.
The other woman and I eyed each other, then she offered a hand. “I’m Kotori,” she said. She hooked a thumb. “That’s May. Yes, I’m Japanese. Yes, my English is impeccable. Yes, I speak Japanese with my parents. No, May doesn’t speak more than a few words. Any other questions?”
I laughed. “If I think of some, I’m sure you’ll get to them before I do.”
“Sorry,” she said. “It gets old.”
“Hey, I’m not judging,” I replied. “I’m Astrid. My Japanese is terrible, and you would be appalled by my ability to hold a pair of chopsticks. But yes, I speak English with…” I trailed off. “Um.” She cocked her head, waiting. “All right. I guess I don’t speak English with my parents, but I do with my adoptive family.”
“Ah,” she said. “I’m sorry, or congratulations?”
“It’s fine,” I said. “This is Cassidy.”
“Cassidy and I used to work together,” Kotori said. “That’s how I met May.” She eyed me up and down. “Americans all look the same to me.”
“Wow, you must really get some stupid things said to you.”
“Sorry. You don’t deserve my attitude. Are you the reason no one has seen Cass for the last two years?”
“I’m sure that’s not entirely true. I cut her loose once or twice a week, although I admit I have no idea what she does with that time.”
“Probably works late,” Kotori said.
“Are you two done discussing me?” Cassidy asked, slipping an arm around my waist.
I turned to Kotori’s partner and held out my hand. “Hi, May. I’m Astrid.”
“You’re the reason we haven’t seen Cassidy in two years.”
“That’s what Kotori suggested,” I replied. “I’m fairly sure you’re exaggerating.”
“Not entirely,” May said. She looked me up and down. Then, without taking her eyes from me, she said, “What the hell, Cass? I heard she was kinda young, but did you rob the cradle or something?”
“No,” I answered for her. “She was cruising the Hello Kitty aisle at the store and found me crying when they were out of my favorite tights.”
The woman stared. It was Kotori who began laughing. “Oh, she’s feisty. I like her, Cass.” She turned to May. “One more bitchy comment from you, and I’ll find someone else to go home with.”
“Empty threat,” May muttered.
“You don’t think I can find someone?”
“Someone who isn’t afraid of May?” Cassidy asked. “I doubt it.”
“Did you just dare me, Cass? I saw another, quite lovely Japanese woman a few minutes ago. I bet I can get her to drive me home.”
Cass snorted. “Kaori is visiting?” She turned to me. “Kotori’s twin sister.”
“Visiting? No. She moved here.” Kotori smiled broadly.
“The two have been plaguing me,” May said. “She living with us, and some days they dress identically.”
I began laughing. “And you can’t tell them apart.” Then I began laughing louder. “And you were teasing me about the entire all look alike thing.”
The woman grinned at me. “Seriously. Our mother can tell us apart, no matter what we do. You would think my lover would recognize us.”
“You do it on purpose,” May said.
“Admit it,” Kotori countered. “You have a rich fantasy about twin Japanese women.”
May looked at Cassidy. “Do you see what I put up with?”
“And you love every second of it,” Cassidy replied.
“Yeah, yeah.” She gestured back and forth between us. “How did you two meet?”
“I already told you.”
“Yeah, yeah,” she said again. “The real answer?”
“She took out a hunting license,” I explained.
“Excuse me?”
“Yeah. There’s this place. Girls like me sign up. Women like Cassidy buy a license. It’s very expensive. They let the girls go, and the women hunt us, but they only get a rope and an app.”
“An app.”
“Yep. And the girls wear these tracking devices. The app gives them a map and a point for one girl, but it rotates every five minutes.”
“Right. An app.”
“Exactly. If they catch one of us, we have to go home with them. But if we make it to freedom, we get ten grand in cash and a free cruise. I was so mad when she caught me, because I really wanted that cruise. But then she did that thing she does, and I decided maybe I’d let her keep me. And now we’re here, joined at the hip, but only because she’s afraid I’ll run away if she loses track of me.”
Kotori smiled through most of my story.
“How long did it take you to fabricate that?” Cassidy asked me.
“I don’t know,” I said. “How long did it take me to tell it?”
“So, you got yourself a smart ass,” May said. “What’s the real story?”
“We met online,” Cassidy explained.
“One of those websites,” I inserted.
“Right.”
“Toddlers R Us dot com.”
“Knock it off,” Cassidy said.
“Does she ever stop?”
“This is a new side,” Cassidy said. “I think she’s nervous.”
“Fine, fine,” I said. “Online, blah, blah. I put up a post with some truly fabulous photos and said I was looking for an older, mature woman.”
“Is this another story?” May asked Cassidy.
“Not so far.” She turned towards me and raised an eyebrow.
“We fought on our first date,” I added. “It was looking to be the worst date of my life, although if that’s the worst, then I’m probably pretty lucky.”
“You must have made up,” Kotori said.
“She apologized for being a jerk then asked if she could take me to her place and tickle the crap out of me.”
“We’re back to her stories again,” May declared.
“It wasn’t exactly like that,” Cassidy said. “I did apologize, but it was later I asked if I could tickle her.”
“It went in a blur,” I said. “I might not get every detail perfect. She tickled me until I nearly piddled, and then she held me for a while. I told her I wanted to see her again.” I shrugged. “My other stories are more entertaining.”
May looked back and forth between us. “Truth?” she asked Cassidy.
“Pretty much,” Cassidy confirmed.
“And that was two years ago?”
“In a few months,” I replied. “For our two-year anniversary, she’s taking me to Bora Bora for their annual tickle festival.”
“She’s back to her stories,” May announced.
“Yep,” Cassidy confirmed.
“When you arrive, right at the airport, you have to declare whether you’re a tickler or a tickle-ee. I’m trying to convince Cassidy we should switch our traditional roles. She’d look ridiculous in the feather headdress the ticklers have to wear.”
“Does she lie awake at nights th
inking of this stuff?” May asked.
“No,” Cassidy said.
“She wears me out too much to stay awake.”
“Tickling you?”
“You could call it that,” I said coyly, laying my head on Cassidy’s shoulder. “Now that your friends think I’m a complete weirdo, should we let Kotori introduce me to her sister?”
* * * *
I calmed down after that. I met Kaori, who was just as beautiful and elegant as her sister, although she spoke English with a decided accent, whereas Katori did not. And then as the five of us were talking, another woman, this time wearing a French accent, said, “Cassidy Hart is alive?”
We turned, and a stunning, impeccably-dressed woman stepped up to Cassidy and gave her cheeks a kiss. When she was done, she joined our circle, taking the space between Cassidy and me. “Where have you been for the last two years?”
“Why does everyone keep saying that? I was at that thing just…”
“Six months ago,” the woman said. “You haven’t attended a thing in six months.”
“Don’t blame me,” I said. “It’s not like I lock her in a dungeon or something.”
The woman turned to me. “And you are?”
It was a little frosty. I flicked my eyes between her and Cassidy, then held out my hand. “Astrid,” I said. “I didn’t catch your name.”
She ignored my hand. “Astrid,” Cassidy said. “This is Eleanore.”
“A pleasure,” the woman said, and if I hadn’t liked her before, I really didn’t like her tone now. She looked me up and down. “Cassidy, is this girl the reason you have avoided us? I imagine she wears you out.”
Now, at that, I could have reacted in a small number of ways. I could have shrunk, withdrawn, and maybe ran from the conversation.
I could have ignored it.
Or I could do what I did. I looked her up and down myself. “Jealous?” I asked. “I can’t blame you, actually. French women can be pretty hot, and they continue to look good well into their middle years, but they begin to fall to pieces by the time they’re sixty.” I looked her up and down again. “I never knew if that was true, but I think it is.”
Her jaw dropped, and a moment later, she turned tail and strode away, all of us watching her until she disappeared into the crowd.
I waited a moment then said, “If she’s not really as big a bitch as it just seemed, then I owe her a very large apology.”
“No, no,” Kotori said. “No apology necessary. If she grew tired of being a bitch to you, she would have turned her attention towards the east, if you catch my drift.”
“I believe I do,” I said. “If no one likes her, why is she invited?”
“Because she’s hot as hell,” May said.
“And she’s Angelica’s sister,” Cassidy added.
“Oh, no. I’m persona non grata with the host.”
“Probably not,” May said. “Ah, here comes our host now.” It was Cassidy that gestured, and I saw the resemblance immediately. Our host was dressed every bit as well as her sister, and I couldn’t read her impression. But I moved to hide behind May, who laughed but didn’t pull me back out.
The woman reached our group, taking the place I had just vacated. “You,” she said. “Come out from there.”
“I don’t think so,” I said. “You don’t sound French.”
“I was raised here. She was raised there. Come out.”
“Do I have to?”
“Yes.”
I sighed and peeked around May. Kotori and Kaori were speaking quiet Japanese to each other while watching me. Cassidy said nothing, but she looked amused. And I still couldn’t read Angelica’s expression.
“Did you really insult my sister?”
“She started it?” I said, making it clearly a question.
“I have no doubt. I want to know what you said.”
“I’m not sure that’s true.”
“Oh, it’s definitely true,” May said. “How did it go? Something about French women losing their looks by the time they’re sixty.”
Angelica stared for a moment and then began laughing. “That would do it.”
“I’m told I don’t actually owe her an apology, but no one mentioned whether I owe you one.”
“Come out from there.”
I sighed and stepped out from my hiding place. Angelica looked me up and down. “You’re cute.”
“Um. Thank you.”
She turned to Cassidy. “She’s cuter than you suggested.”
“I put in an extra effort,” I said.
“We all put in an extra effort,” Angelica replied. She held out her hand. “I’m Angelica.”
I gave her my hand. “Astrid.”
She looked me over again then turned to Cassidy. “You might want to put a leash on her. Angie and Joyce are looking for a playmate. They were hitting on Rosa, but if they see her, you’ll have a fight on your hands.”
“I’m a one-woman woman,” I said. “Tell them to leave me alone, or I won’t let Cassidy out to play for another two years.”
Angelica chortled. “I’ll tell them. I advise you to stay away from my sister. She has fangs.”
“I’ll do my best,” I said.
“I have guests to greet. Enjoy the party. Maybe we can catch up sometime when it’s not so hectic.” And then she scurried off. I slipped back to Cassidy’s side and pointedly wrapped her arm around my shoulders.
“Well,” I said. “How about those Vikings?”
* * * *
Cassidy and I kissed deeply. Then, with everyone else, we tooted our party favors and otherwise welcomed the new year. A half hour later, I whispered to her, “Take me home.”
In the car, I apologized.
“For wanting to leave?”
“For being weird all night.”
“You were fine,” she said. “A little different, but fine.”
“I was feeling very defensive.”
“I suppose I can understand that.”
“I didn’t want to be underestimated.”
“I don’t think you will be.”
“Good. Are you mad at me?”
“No. Should I be?”
“I thought maybe you’d want to spank me or something.”
She laughed. “I thought you were tired.”
“I didn’t say I was tired. I asked you to take me home. For, you know, my spanking.”
“Right.”
“Exactly.”
Nursing
With January upon us, winter bore down with a vengeance, just like it did most years. I dug into my studies and divided my remaining time between the Graves family and Cassidy. I was happy, utterly happy.
But something was bothering Cassidy. I didn’t notice it immediately, but by the end of January, she seemed increasingly distant. I, of course, assumed she had grown tired of me, or her friends were giving her a hard time about me, or something. At first, I tried to ignore it, but when my own worries intruded on my study time, I flat out asked her what was going on.
“Nothing,” she said.
“Are you growing tired of me?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Trouble at work? Are your friends giving you grief about me.”
“Listen to me, and listen very carefully. I couldn’t be happier with you. It isn’t possible. Is that sufficiently clear?”
“Something is wrong.”
“You’re right,” she said. “I’m dealing with some stuff. But it’s not about you.”
“If you don’t talk to me about it, how am I supposed to help?”
“By being here when you can,” she replied. “By continuing to treat me the way you always have.”
I said nothing for a while, searching her eyes. “You promise,” I said. “If you have cold feet about me, would you tell me?”
“I’m not having cold feet about you. Don’t you trust me?”
“Of course I trust you,” I said.
“Except about cold feet?”
“No.”
To the best I know, that was the first lie she ever told me. Consider that foreshadowing.
* * * *
The flu went around campus. Maggie and I both got caught. Cassidy offered to bring us soup, but I told her I didn’t want her to catch it. I hadn’t seen her in several days, so I figured she was safe. And then we waited several more days, after I was healthy again, before we saw each other.
It was our longest break from each other since we’d met, and I had hated it.
That first day, she was very careful with me, but I told her I was fine and threatened to start swearing to prove it. She laughed and warned me I better not.
Three weeks later, she cancelled a date. “I’m sick,” she said. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh, Darling,” I said.
“No. I’m fine.” She refused, but we chatted for a while until she suddenly sounded really sick and said, “I have to go.” She hung up without waiting, and I stared at the phone for a while.
And then I arranged an Uber.
When I got there, the house was dark. I used my key and let myself in, hoping I wasn’t about to walk in on something I wasn’t supposed to see. I called for her and got no answer.
It took me two minutes until I found her, passed out on the bathroom floor.
I freaked out and dropped to my knees beside her. “Cassidy. Cassidy.” She didn’t stir, but she was breathing, and I even felt for a pulse. It felt thin, but what did I know?
I yanked out my phone. “Answer, answer, answer,” I said to it. And then I heard Cherlyn’s voice.
“Mom! I’m at Cassidy’s. She’s passed out on the bathroom floor. I don’t know what to do.”
“All right,” Cherlyn said. “First thing. How is her breathing?”
“She’s breathing,” I said. “And she has a pulse.”
“Okay. Listen to her breathing. Does it sound normal?”
I leaned over and listened. “I don’t know,” I finally admitted. “It seems a little shallow.”
“Is she wheezing? Does it sound like she’s having trouble breathing?”
“No.”
“Is she making any noises? Whimpering, anything like that?”
“Just very quiet breathing sounds.”