by Robin Roseau
“Not as fantastic as either bride,” she said. “I have bad news.”
“Oh, oh.”
“Cassidy’s sister is here.”
“Oh. You don’t mean at my door, do you?”
“No.”
“It’s fine. I told Cassidy we had to invite her. I actually didn’t think she’d come.”
“Well, she’s here, and she barged in on Cassidy, then kicked everyone else out.”
“Cassidy can hold her own,” I said. Then I grinned. “And we have a couple of cops here if Lynette doesn’t behave. This is private property. We can evict her if we want.”
Maggie laughed. “I think I’d enjoy watching that.”
“I wouldn’t, but I’m not letting her ruin this day.”
We chatted easily. Surprisingly, I wasn’t at all nervous. This was exactly what I wanted, and however it turned out it would be perfect. I didn’t care if it rained halfway through our vows. I didn’t care if I tripped on the way to the ceremony.
Okay, that part is a lie, but if I did trip, I’d get back up and walk it off. Nothing was keeping me from that appointment with my future wife. And nothing was going to be allowed to ruin this day.
Not even my bride’s sister.
So we talked easily. I think Maggie was far more nervous than I was. Finally I asked her about it.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m supposed to be your rock. Instead, I’m thinking about something else.”
“Something else? Or someone else?”
“Maybe someone else.”
“Is that someone here today?”
“That someone doesn’t know I exist, and wouldn’t be interested anyway.”
“Oh. I’m sorry. Maggie, you’re amazing. You can stop selling yourself short.”
“A lot has changed in two years,” she said.
“It sure has.”
“I haven’t shed all the extra weight.”
“No, but you’re healthy and strong, far stronger than I am.” I stepped closer then walked around her, tracing fingertips across her shoulders. She gave a little shiver, which made me laugh. But I stepped close and set my hands against her bare skin. “These are a turn on, Maggie,” I whispered to her.
“Are you flirting with me?” she asked. “Tell me you’re not flirting with me while wearing your wedding dress.”
“Would you be offended if I were?”
“Of course not.” She turned around. “They are not. I’m not.”
“Yes, Maggie. If you were into girls, some girls would love your body just the way it is.”
“You?”
“If I didn’t have eyes for Cassidy? Maybe. But she’s sort of ruined me for other women.”
“She is pretty fantastic.”
“That she is,” I said. “That she most definitely is.”
“I’m not at all like her.”
“No. You’re like you. You’re sweet and kind and loving and smart as hell.” I leaned up and kissed her cheek. “Thank you for so, so much.”
“You’re welcome,” she said. “Do we get to dance later?”
“Oh, count on it,” I said.
“I took some dance lessons.”
“When did you find time for that?”
“Oh, probably those times you were busy screaming Cassidy’s name.”
“You brat,” I said.
“I bet you’re loud.”
“You’re right. I am.”
“I bet Cassidy goes on power trips listening to you.”
“I’m fairly certain she does. Now knock it off.”
“I understand it’s tradition for the maid of honor to have sex sometime tonight.”
I laughed. “That may be, and as long as it’s not with my bride, go for it.”
She laughed. “She hasn’t eyes for anyone but you.”
“Sorry.”
“Right. Okay. Let’s check everything. Hair? Perfect. Teeth?” She smiled at me, so I smiled back. She nodded. “Perfect. Breath?” And damned, but she popped an Altoids into my mouth.
“Brat,” I said, then sucked on it.
“Dress?” she walked around me. “Perfect. Shoes? Poke a foot out.”
She checked me over, announcing everything as perfect.
And then there was a knock. “I think that’s early,” Maggie said. “Let me chase them away.” She turned and scurried to the door. There was a hushed conversation, then she said over her shoulder, “I’ll go see if anyone wants to flirt with me.”
“Go for it,” I said.
She stepped out, and Cassidy stepped in. We stared at each other as Maggie closed the door. She looked truly stunning. I was definitely stunned.
She froze as well, and neither of us said a word, although I knew I was grinning madly.
Then I realized she wasn’t, and her brow was furrowed. I moved forward. “I understand Lynette was after you. Is everything all right?”
“No,” she said.
“It’s okay. Ignore her. We can have her kicked out if she’s going to ruin our day.”
“She’s not going to ruin our day,” Cassidy said. Then I was in front of her and tried to hug her, but she set her hands on my shoulders and held me at arm’s distance. “I am.”
“What?”
“I can’t do this.”
I stared, and my smile slowly faded. I shrugged away from her hands and turned away, moving to the center of the room, my back to her. “I understand,” I said, barely a whisper. She couldn’t marry her sugar baby, a woman just barely 21 years old. I couldn’t really blame her.
“No, Astrid, you do not.”
“I get it. She finally knocked some sense into you. I suppose we should thank her. Better now than tomorrow morning.”
“Astrid, you don’t understand.”
“I understand fine, Cassidy.” I turned to her. “I won’t be able to continue our current arrangement. I’ll refund as much of your money as I can.”
“It’s not that, damn it. Six months after we started this, I put aside a fund for you. It should cover you through graduation next year, and perhaps another six months after that.”
“Well, you can take it back,” I said. “I don’t want your money. I want you, Cassidy!”
“I haven’t been entirely forthright, Astrid.”
I froze for a minute. “Do you love me?”
“Yes.” That was a whisper.
“Do you have the hots for me?”
She laughed, although raggedly. “Yes.”
“Do you believe me when I tell you I love you, that I have the hots for you?”
“That’s not what this is.”
“Do you want to spend the rest of our lives together?”
“For one of us, that’s a lot less time than for the other.”
“Is that what this is about?” I shook my head. “No. Just no. I don’t know what she told you, but she’s wrong.”
“She’s not wrong, Astrid.”
“Do you want to marry me?”
“More than anything.”
“Do you think I’ve been lying to you? I won’t ask if Lynette does.”
“She does, but that’s got nothing to do with it,” she said. “I’ve been lying to you.”
“About what? I know you’re gay. I know you think I’m hot. I’m fairly certain you enjoy our time together. You just said you want to get married. I’m fairly sure nothing else matters.”
“It matters.”
I took two steps forward and put my hand on my hip. “Fine. But I don’t want your money, and I think I deserve the truth.”
She looked at me for a minute. “About five years ago, I had a fairly significant health scare. We weren’t sure I’d live.”
“All right. I’m sorry, but I’m glad you’re better.”
“It made me face my mortality,” she said. “Signing up as a sugar mama was a direct response. Maybe I was clasping at youth I no longer felt. I don’t know. But I knew if I was ever going to have what we’ve had, with someone
like you, that was the only way it was going to happen.”
“So I represent an item on your bucket list?”
“You did for perhaps a few weeks after we met. That hasn’t been it for a long time. Do you blame me?”
“No. It’s flattering, actually. There’s no way this is about that.”
“It’s not about the bucket list. It’s about the health scare.”
“I’m pretty sure if I was going to catch something from you, I’ve caught it.”
“You can’t catch this,” she said. “Although unfortunately, they also don’t always cure it.”
“What?”
“I’m dying.”
“No.” That was a whisper, then I grew more vehement. “No. You are not dying.” I stamped my foot. “You’re not dying!”
“Darling,” she said. “I have at most two years, and much shorter is more likely. Six months. Maybe a year.”
“No.” And then I was sobbing, all out sobbing. I ran forward and threw myself at her. She held me while I sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed.
“Is everything all right in there?”
“Mom!” I screamed.
The door practically flung open, and nearly as quickly, it was closed. Cherylyn hurried forward, taking everything in. “Is the wedding still on?”
“No,” Cassidy said.
“Yes it is!” I yelled. I pushed away from Cassidy then poked her in the chest. “You listen to me.” I advanced on her, and she actually backed away from me. “You love me and want to marry me. True or false.”
“It’s incredibly selfish of me, Astrid.”
“Bullshit!” I exclaimed. “Do you want to marry me or not?”
“Lynette called me the biggest selfish bitch she’s ever met, and she’s right.”
“Bullshit!” I screamed. “Do you love me?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want to marry me?”
“I’ll continue to take care of you, Astrid.”
“Do you want to marry me?” I screamed.
“Astrid, you have no idea what you’re asking.”
“I’m fairly certain I got a taste in February, didn’t I?”
She dropped her gaze. “Yeah.”
“Fine. What’s your plan? You’re going to hire other people? What?” I didn’t wait for an answer. What was a miracle? I didn’t swear, not exactly. “F- that. Do you want to marry me?”
“Astrid?”
“Do you? Yes or no?”
“Yes,” she whispered, a croak.
“Do you want to hold me? Do you want me in your arms? Do you want to come home to me?”
“Yes.”
“Good. I want all that, too.”
“What’s going on?” Cherlyn asked. Then she set her gaze on Cassidy. “Oh, fuck.”
I spun to her. “Not a word to anyone,” I said. “This isn’t anyone’s business. She needs me now. She needs me. And I am not my parents! I do not abandon someone I love because it might be hard.”
I turned and poked her in the chest. “Physically, how do you feel today?”
“My insides are a knot, but that’s not because I’m sick.”
“Right. So today, you’re fine.”
“Yes.”
“Have you cancelled our trip?”
“No.”
“Good.” I spun to Cherlyn. “I need you to help manage the crowd. Send the make-up person back to fix me.” I looked at Cassidy. “Her, too. Keep Maggie away for now. Then find the judge. We weren’t going to change my name, but I’ve changed my mind. I want to be known as Astrid Graves Hart.”
“Astrid, no,” Cassidy said. “I like the triple-A thing.”
“Astrid,” Cherlyn said.
I turned to Cassidy. “Tough. I’m taking your name. And as my family disowned me, I can drop their name without a second thought.” Then I spun back to Cherlyn. “Your maiden name is Martin, right?”
“Astrid.”
“Astrid Martin Graves Hart has a nice ring. If we’re going to be unconventional, this is America. Four names is certainly unusual. Go find the judge. Ask her if we can do that.”
“Astrid.”
I set my hand back on my hip, then pointed at her. “Humor the bride.”
“No.”
“What?”
“You’re making decisions in the heat of emotion.”
“I’ve thought about being Astrid Hart for two years,” I shot back. “I might be willing to keep the Ann, but I’m done with Ahlstrom, and as that kills the triple-A thing, and five names is getting a little ridiculous, we can drop the Ann.”
“Keep the Ann,” Cassidy whispered. “There’s nothing wrong with five names.”
I froze then smiled. “Astrid Ann Martin Graves Hart.”
“Do you really want to sign all that?” Cherlyn asked with a grin.
“Tell me you’re not flattered.”
“You better not being doing this to flatter me.”
“I’m doing this in recognition of who I am becoming,” I said. “No hyphens.” I turned back to Cassidy. “I think three middle names and a simple last name of Hart, so we become The Harts. What do you think?”
“I think that’s lovely.”
“If we can’t do it today, we’ll do it legally when we get back from our trip. Mom, please go talk to the judge.”
Circle
We stood in a circle on the bluff over the river, with a wider arc of people partially surrounding us. At the center was Judge Lavonia Stone. She was 74 years old, and her partner for the last 50 of those was in the outer circle, standing with Cherlyn’s mom.
We were all holding hands. I had Cassidy on my right and Maggie on my left. Cherlyn and Tim were beyond them. Opposite Cassidy was Nan, her cousin with the place in Florida, with Lila, Cassidy’s mom, beyond her. May, Kotori and Kaori were about directly opposite us, and a few other members of Cassidy’s family and friends finished out our circle.
In all, we were about fifty people, a friendly number for a wedding.
Judge Lavonia welcomed us. She gestured, and Kotori stepped into the circle. May and Kaori held hands behind her, and Kotori sang a song for us.
It was absolutely lovely, and I struggled not to cry.
After that, we kept it simple. Kotori returned to her place. Judge Lavonia invited Cassidy and me forward. The circle closed behind us as we faced each other before the judge.
There were elements required by the laws of Minnesota. Judge Lavonia saw to them. Cassidy and I exchanged our vows to each other. I told the entire world what an amazing woman I was marrying. Cassidy did the same. We each declared our love and made our promises.
Judge Lavonia introduced us, with me carrying five names. Almost no one understood the significance, but those who mattered did. Olive, Cherlyn’s mother, gave a little gasp, but when I saw her later, she hugged me fiercely. “You’re a sweet girl.”
“Thank you, Olive.”
Where was I? Oh, right. Judge Lavonia introduced us. Everyone cheered. Cassidy kissed me, and she kissed me hard. I clutched at her and waved my hands behind her back, which seemed to amuse everyone else. When she set me back on my feet, I fanned myself and then hugged her tightly.
I was married. I was legally married to the most amazing woman I could imagine.
Dance
We had our dinner. There were speeches. Nan and Maggie both gave speeches. Cherlyn gave one. Lila gave one. In hers, she admitted times had changed, and knew that not everyone agreed with all those changes, but then said, “But looking at these two women, no one can deny their love for each other.”
Cassidy leaned to me and said, “Mom has been slow to accept, but not that bad.”
I nodded.
We made our rounds. Then May’s band began to play. They did a couple of songs, but no one was dancing. It was Cherlyn who found us and said, “No one can dance until the two of you do.”
As soon as we began making our way to the floor, the band wrapped up their song, and they played a lovely bal
lad for us.
* * * *
I danced with as many of our guests as I could. I got my Mother-Daughter dance with Cherlyn, and I tried not to cry. So did she. We both mostly succeeded. At the end, she held me, but she said, “Honey, this is going to be hard. I’ll be here for you as much as I can.”
“This is my responsibility,” I said. “Mom, I’m going to postpone senior year. I’m afraid Maggie will be devastated.”
“She deserves to know why. She’ll understand. Have you discussed it with Cassidy?”
“I intend to present a fait accompli,” I told her. “She’ll fight me otherwise, and I’ll end up doing what she tells me to do, but that’s the wrong choice this time.”
“I agree with you. Take care of your wife, Daughter. We’ll help you as much as we can.”
“Thank you.”
* * * *
I danced with May. That was an experience. I danced with Kotori. That was the opposite experience.
I danced with the judge, and with the judge’s partner. I danced with Olive and Nan.
And then Lynette was standing in front of me. Without asking, she grabbed my wrist, and we were on the dance floor before I thought to tell her to fuck off. But she whispered into my ear, “Are you going to make a scene? You know I don’t mind if you do.”
“Fuck you,” I told her.
“I thought you made a promise to your wife.”
“Going to rat me out?”
“No. Going to make a scene?”
“No. Bitch.”
She took me into her arms anyway. I danced, but I wasn’t happy about it, and forcing me to do it made her look even more like a bitch, in my eyes.
“When word gets out you knew she was sick, half the people are going to praise you as an angel. The other half will call you a money grubbing whore.”
“I’m pretty sure I know which group you’ll be in.”
“Believe it or not, I was trying to protect you.”
“I didn’t ask you to.”
“My sister is a selfish bitch.”
“Tell me, if you know her so well? Does she love me, or am I just a really hot nurse?”
“Oh, she loves you, or at least thinks she does,” Lynette said. “What I’m not sure is if the reason she loves you is because you’re a really hot nurse.”
“Everything I told you in Florida stands.”