by Fiona Riley
“Broke something?” Burger pouted when he realized she was teasing him. “I didn’t break anything—”
“Yet.” Shaun chuckled behind them as he lined up more glasses.
Burger rolled his eyes. “One time, it was one time.”
Sasha patted his arm. “Glad you’re back, bud.”
Burger smiled. “I took your advice and offered to work for free. Casey thought it was a great idea. Hopefully, after tonight I’ll have almost paid off my debt. Thanks for the suggestion, Sash.”
“Anytime, probie.”
His smile faltered as he looked past her. She pivoted to see what he was looking at, but he grabbed her shoulder, turning her toward him again.
“Okay, that’s enough bonding, Burger. Hands off the merchandise.” Sasha tried to shrug off his grip but he tightened it.
“No can do, Sash. I need you to, uh, stick around here for a moment.” That nervousness from before was back.
“What’re you talking about?” Sasha tried to shake him off again, this time nearly succeeding.
He lunged forward and wrapped her up in a bear hug, easily using his height and strength to lift her feet off the floor, pinning her against him.
“Burger. What the hell?” Sasha squirmed and kicked at his shins.
“Ouch. McCray! Quit it.” Burger hissed in her ear, his voice a harsh whisper. “Listen, listen. I need you to listen.”
“Listen to what?” She wound her foot back to kick him again when he spun her in his arms, facing her toward the stage. From her vantage point in the back of the room, she could make out an attractive blonde ascending the stairs of the stage to the mic. It was her attractive blonde. Abby swept across the stage to a sea of applause and Sasha stopped squirming.
“I’m going to put you down now, McCray. But you have to promise to stop kicking me. And listen. Can you do that?” Burger’s arms around her loosened and her feet touched down on the floor.
She nodded, but once his arms released her, she kicked him as hard as she could in the shin.
“Fuck. Seriously?” Burger huffed. “Just listen, would you?”
Any thoughts Sasha had of leaving vanished when Abby spoke into the mic, her eyes locked with Sasha’s. “I’m here to present the Humanitarian Award tonight to my mother, Edie Davenport. But before I tell you about all of Edie’s amazing contributions to Boston and her undying support of the arts, I want to tell you about this amazing person that I met. This selfless, brave, infinitely emotional woman taught me how to live and love in a way I’d not experienced before. I’m madly in love with Sasha McCray and I need everyone here to know it.”
Chapter Twenty-three
As Abby looked out into the audience in front of her, she felt an eerie calm settle in her chest. She’d rehearsed the speech for her mother a dozen times, but this first part was going to be all improvisation. Considering she’d done nothing to emotionally prepare for this moment, the calmness should have been unsettling. But it wasn’t. She didn’t have to prepare for this part because she was speaking from the heart, probably for the first time ever. It just so happened to be in front of a room full of people and press. No pressure or anything.
She smiled at her mother and Luke. Her mother’s words from earlier were fresh in her mind—she’d use that now. They would be her strength; they would be her beacon. Her eyes found Sasha in the back of the room, held in place by Burger just like Samantha had promised. She’d have her chance to try to make amends. But she’d only get one shot at it.
“Thank you for joining us. As I’m sure you are aware, I’m here to present the Humanitarian Award tonight to my mother, Edie Davenport. But before I tell you about all of Edie’s amazing contributions to Boston and her undying support of the arts, I want to tell you about this amazing person that I met. This selfless, brave, infinitely emotional woman taught me how to live and love in a way I’d not experienced before. I’m madly in love with Sasha McCray and I need everyone here to know it.”
A smattering of applause followed her proclamation, the audience clearly not knowing where she was going. She laughed and nodded.
“I know what you’re thinking—who’s this Sasha person and why is Abby Rossmore hijacking her mother’s spotlight for the evening? But I’m here to assure you that these things are both very closely linked.” She exhaled and began.
“I’m an only child. I was raised by two loving and affectionate parents in a world of great privilege and good fortune. But one of the most important things they taught me growing up was to embrace my weaknesses and harness my strengths to help others. There have been times along the way I have faltered. More than once I’ve taken the easy way out or avoided something that frightened me. But my mother made sure to always help me find my path again. She’s a leader, empathetic and compassionate in a way that isn’t always typical of someone who heralds from a legacy like our family’s. What makes my mother so unique and amazing is that she has been able to utilize her name to improve the lives of just about everyone she comes in contact with. Through her involvement with the Davenport Charitable Foundation and her dedication to Davenport Memorial Hospital, she has revolutionized access to the arts and healthcare, and established numerous grants and scholarships to empower Boston’s youth. She is selfless in a way that cannot be learned, cannot be taught. It comes from a place of true goodness. A place in which the health and safety and opportunity for advancement of others must come before oneself.
“Those are the same qualities I found in Sasha. Sasha is, she’s…incredible. She’s kind and patient and selfless and brave in a way that I have not seen in anyone else but my mother. Which is why at first, it scared me. It scared me to know that someone else out there could have as much influence on me as the incomparable Edie Davenport. She is someone who makes you want to be a better person. She makes you want to live a fuller life. She helps you see the beauty in the darkest and most chaotic moments of life. I am grateful to Sasha for teaching me that my mother’s gifts aren’t just exclusive to her. They can be found within each of us, if we dare to be vulnerable enough to see them.
“My mother is the recipient for the Humanitarian Award tonight for many, many things that she has done through the work of her foundation and in the name of the Davenport family. We are a proud, dedicated family. But somewhere along the way, I’d forgotten what it meant to be a Davenport. I’d grown so used to running from the great shadow cast by my name that I’d nearly missed acknowledging the most important person in my life. My mother, Edie, is everything to me and more. But it took meeting someone like Sasha to help me remember what was most important—family, giving back, and being brave.
“It is with great honor I present my mother with this award tonight. Mom, you are an inspiration in everything that you do. Thank you for reminding me that love is all there is in life. And as you embark on this new journey”—she nodded toward Luke—“I hope you know how very sincerely and profoundly you have impacted me along the way. Thank you for continuing to be the example by which I set my standards. I love you.”
Edie wiped tears from her eyes as she ascended the stage, and Abby let herself live in the moment. She soaked up the standing ovation from the crowd for her mother, the reason they were all there tonight. She’d meant every word she said. She’d be nowhere without her mother and Sasha had helped her be reminded of that.
Edie kissed her cheek and hugged her tightly as she whispered, “Thank you, darling. Now, go get your girl.”
Abby didn’t have to be told twice. She was off the stage and racing toward the back just in time to see Sasha slip behind the curtain into the still unrevealed exhibition wing. She took a deep breath and ducked in after her.
*****
Sasha’s heart felt like it was beating out of her chest. She never would have guessed that this would be her night, hiding in the empty hallway of a museum after Abby Rossmore just announced that she was in love with her to an entire room full of Boston’s most influential people. And the Boston Globe, she couldn’t
forget them.
“Sash.” Abby’s voice sounded behind her. She didn’t turn. She didn’t think she could face her, not yet.
She sighed and stepped further into the exhibit, willing her heartbeat to slow, her pride at war with her heart.
“Sasha. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t upfront with you from the beginning. You deserved better than that, you still do. You deserve better than me. And I hate to say that because I want nothing more in this world than for you to turn around and tell me you love me and you forgive me, but I know that these things aren’t as easy as that. I know that you needed me to be honest with you when you were nothing but honest with me, and I know that I failed you. I am so, so sorry about that, Sasha. Truly.”
Sasha had relived their argument at the hospital. She’d relived that feeling of betrayal over and over again and thought about what she’d said. She thought about what she could have said, what she’d wanted to say and been too angry to organize her thoughts. But all of that started to blur now. All she could hear was the sincerity of Abby’s words, the vulnerability of her voice, the way it quivered with emotion. She didn’t want to see the look on Abby’s face right now, but she didn’t think she could live with herself if she didn’t turn around.
“Abby.” She stopped walking and closed her eyes. She’d felt a myriad of emotions during Abby’s speech. How could she not? Abby was saying everything that Sasha had felt when they were together, well, except for all the stuff about Abby’s mother. That was new information to her, but the core of it, the heart and soul of it…Sasha loved Abby, and clearly, Abby felt the same. She didn’t want to turn her back on that. She turned and opened her eyes.
Abby was close to her, close enough to touch, but she stayed in place, waiting. Sasha waited, too. It felt like forever before she spoke. “Okay.”
“Okay?” Abby’s eyes were wet and Sasha wanted so badly to cup her face and soothe her in that moment. But she didn’t. She stood her ground and let herself collect her thoughts.
“Okay,” Sasha repeated. Her mouth felt dry. She licked her lips and Abby’s eyes followed her tongue. Her stomach flipped. She’d so missed that look in Abby’s eyes, the one that made her feel desired and wanted and…loved. That was what she had seen before but hadn’t been able to identify. Abby looked at her with a mix of emotions and feelings, but Sasha could see it clearly now. Abby regarded her with more than affection. She loved her.
Abby shifted in front of her, not moving closer, but not backing away either. Her voice was soft when she asked, “Okay…you accept my apology?”
Sasha considered her answer carefully. Abby was giving her an out. “I do.”
It looked as if a weight had been lifted from Abby’s shoulders. She stood a little taller, exhaling as if she had been holding her breath, and yet, she stayed in place. Unmoving. Until the dam broke and her tears flowed freely. And Sasha’s heart broke for her, her heart broke to see how much it mattered to Abby that she be forgiven. Abby didn’t rush to her, didn’t fall on her knees and beg or wail. She gave Sasha the chance to decide what she wanted to do next.
“I want to really get to know you though, Abs. I don’t want pieces of you or parts of the whole. I want the whole shebang. The good, the bad, the messy. I want the chance to fall in love with all of you, not just the parts you choose to show me. Okay? Can you promise me that you’ll be upfront and transparent with me? I don’t want a relationship built on secrets.”
Abby’s tears slowed and she blinked, a small smile on her face. “But you’re saying that you aren’t opposed to a relationship, right? Or did I imagine that in my ugly cry fog? Because I swear you just said you want a relationship. With me. As in us. Together.”
Sasha laughed. “I did say that. You didn’t imagine it.”
“So, I’m really trying to respect your space and not jump you or anything, but can I kiss you now?” Abby looked like she was vibrating on the spot.
Sasha opened her arms and Abby stepped into them, wrapping her arms around Sasha’s waist and resting her head at Sasha’s shoulder. Abby fit so perfectly here. She’d missed this feeling.
“I believe there was promise of kissing.” Abby’s lips grazed the underside of Sasha’s jaw and she felt all the parts of her warm up, like Abby had reignited a fire within her.
“A promise is a promise.” Sasha dipped her head and connected their lips, savoring the taste and feel of Abby’s lips against her own. It was incredible how it felt like an eternity since they’d last kissed. A void had been left when she’d pushed Abby out of her life, but she could feel it now, slowly filling back in, kiss by kiss. Like she was rebuilding a fallen wall, except this time it felt more like a gate, one that she wanted to access often. She wanted to let Abby in brick by brick.
Abby leaned back and broke their kiss to ask, “Did you say shebang?”
“Uh. Maybe? Why? Is that weird?” Sasha reconnected their lips because she missed them.
Abby smiled against them and added, “It’s just, sort of, funny. I know what you meant, and maybe it’s because I’ve missed your touch or your kiss or your everything, but my mind went straight to the gutter. Because, you know, she…”
“Bangs.” Sasha pulled back and Abby winked at her. “I missed you.”
The sincerity from before returned to Abby’s expression and she nodded. “Me, too. I meant what I said out there, Sash. I love you. And I want to share more of myself with you. I don’t want to compartmentalize my life. Let’s start over.”
Sasha warmed as Abby repeated herself from before. She loved her. Sasha decided she could hear that forever. “I’d like that.”
“Come over to my place. Let me cook for you. It’ll be like a first date, a fresh start.” Abby dropped her hands and stepped back, putting a little space between them. Sasha missed her closeness immediately.
“It’s a date.” The faint sound of applause from beyond the curtain could be heard. They both turned toward the noise.
“I should probably head out there, take some pictures or whatnot.” Abby looked like she didn’t want to go. The feeling was mutual.
“I’m supposed to be at work.” Sasha ran her thumb under the bottom of her vest for emphasis.
Abby’s eyes tracked the motion. They flicked back up to hers and Abby leaned forward once more for a final kiss. “Nice lipstick, by the way.”
“It brought me luck before.” Sasha held Abby’s hand as they headed toward the curtain. Real life was waiting for them on the other side. She wanted to freeze this moment forever.
“Evidently, it brought me luck, too.” Abby paused before leaving. “I’ll see you out there?”
Sasha nodded and watched Abby slip under the curtain, out of sight. She never would have expected her night to turn out like this, but she was more than happy it had.
Chapter Twenty-four
The view from Abby’s apartment, the penthouse of one of the tallest buildings in Downtown Boston, was unreal. It was the kind of space that Sasha had only seen in movies or those architecture magazines that her mother used to swipe from the dentist from time to time. The entryway led into the living room area that was as big as Sasha’s entire apartment. Massive floor-to-ceiling windows ran the length of Abby’s condo with not one but two balconies off the living room alone. Sheer curtains and electric shades were controlled by a remote that sat on Abby’s designer coffee table which was positioned in front of a grand electric fireplace and an enormous television that had a mirrored finish, doubling as reflective glass.
The light colors and rich white fabrics made everything look custom made and inviting. But Abby’s kitchen was what really blew Sasha away. The open concept design had an island that could seat at least six people. Marble-textured granite countertops with a waterfall finish accented crisp white cabinets, with glass fronts and smooth silver hardware. She had a wet bar at the edge of the designated kitchen space that flowed into a dining area. A massive dark wood table occupied the dining space with seating for eight. Thi
s home was clearly meant to host. She wondered if Abby ever threw parties here. It would be a shame if she didn’t.
All of the furniture Sasha could see was high end and well made, the lighting and color choices clean and perfect. It was a designer’s dream home, that was for sure. But even with the glossy surfaces and expensive appliances it still had a very welcoming, homey feel.
“Abby, this place is…” Sasha wasn’t sure what to say.
“It’s a bit much. I know.” Abby stirred the contents of the pot and handed an empty wineglass to Sasha.
Sasha took the glass and poured the wine she’d brought into it, wondering if it was a good enough bottle. From the looks of the wine fridge and rack by the wet bar, she suspected not. “How long have you lived here?”
“About four years.” Abby accepted the glass and waited to clink hers with Sasha’s before she took a sip. “Mm, this is tasty. Thank you.”
Sasha doubted it was the best Abby had ever tasted, but she chose not to dwell on it. “The whole doorman-concierge thing is kind of amazing.”
Abby shrugged. “It spoils you. I’m afraid it makes me a little lazy. They’ll carry in the groceries and change light bulbs if you want them to.” She stopped stirring and looked up, backtracking. “I don’t though. I do for myself with everything if I can. But I’ll admit it’s helpful when I have to move some heavy furniture, to just pick up the phone and all kinds of muscle arrives to save the day…I’m rambling. Sorry.”
Sasha thought it was cute. Abby seemed so shy, almost ashamed of her space. “Does it make you uncomfortable, talking about your home?”
Abby looked up at her. “Uncomfortable isn’t the right word. I’m not naïve to how it looks though. That being said, I live here because I love it and it’s a sanctuary to me at the end of the day. But still, it’s a bit much.”
“You keep saying that.” Sasha stepped closer to Abby and stroked her hand. “It’s part of you, though. It’s a part of your life, one that I want to know more about. I don’t want you to be afraid to share it with me.”