by Alfred Wurr
“Does Burt Reynolds live here?” Lucy said, smiling.
The moment Brad cut the engine, the garage door rolled back down.
An interior door opened, and a man wearing a black Star Wars T-shirt, shorts, and sandals stepped out onto the short staircase landing leading from the house, giving a friendly wave. A large dog resembling a German shepherd walked out with him and sat obediently at his side.
A faint fog billowed from the van’s cool interior into the warm garage as we got out. The doors slammed shut, and we walked to the front of the vehicle to meet the man I knew only through words displayed on a green screen. Of slight build, he looked about five-eight, mid-thirties, with dark hair, green eyes, and a black goatee. On his head he wore a pair of Ray-Ban sunglasses, pushed up his forehead to regard us like a second pair of eyes.
“So, which one of you is Cool Hand?” Wilhelm asked, glancing from face to face.
“That’d be me,” I replied as I slid between Caleb and Lilith, holding up a hand.
“Well, holy shit…,” Wilhelm said, taking a step back. He glanced down at the dog, eyes wide, then regarded my companions. The dog looked back calmly and the others suppressed grins.
“Now you know how we felt,” Lilith said, eyes twinkling.
“You’re freaking kidding me, right?” Wilhelm whispered. He leaned closer, staring me up and down. “You’re real, aren’t you?”
“Far as I know,” I said.
“Scott tried to warn me…that I wouldn’t believe…,” Wilhelm said. “This is wicked.”
“Are you okay?” I asked. “Sorry to freak you out, Boreas.”
He shook his head, taking a breath. “No worries, Cool Hand.” He thrust out his hand. “Good to finally meet the guy on the other end of the wire.”
I pumped his hand in return. “Uh, it’s Shivurr, actually. Call me, Shivurr.”
“Well, all right, then,” Wilhelm said, taking back his hand. He looked at his palm as if seeing it for the first time. “Cool hand,” he said, tapping his nose and winking. “Nice.”
Wilhelm turned to my companions, who were watching us with broad smiles. “And who are your friends?”
For the next few minutes, introductions were made and hands shaken. Before we could move inside, Wilhelm’s canine companion gave a quick bark.
“Oh, this here’s Bear,” said our host. “Sorry, buddy, I didn’t mean to forget about you.”
“Ah, he’s beautiful,” Lilith said. “Can I pet him?”
“I’m sure he’d like that,” Wilhelm said.
The girl knelt and ran her hand over the dog’s black-and-white fur. She squealed as Bear licked the side of her face and threw her arms around his neck.
“Don’t worry,” Wilhelm said, looking at Lucy, who hid behind Brad. “He loves people.”
“What about ice people?” I asked.
“Sure,” Wilhelm said. “Go on. You’ll see.”
As Lilith stood, I took a step forward and extended my hand as if into a box of snakes. The dog cocked his head, then raised a paw in greeting.
“Awesome,” Alan said as I grasped Bear’s paw and shook it. “What kind of dog is he?”
“Alaskan shepherd,” Wilhelm said. “One of the smartest dogs I’ve ever met.” The dog’s head turned to regard his master, who coughed. “Scratch that, the smartest.” He tousled Bear’s fur. “Let’s get inside, where it’s cooler; you look like you’re melting.” He pushed open the door into the house. “Olivia’s at work, but she’ll be home tonight.”
“That your wife?” Alan said.
“Yep, love of my life.”
Brad held the door for the rest of us. “Where does she work?”
“The Golden Nugget,” Wilhelm replied. “She’s a blackjack dealer.”
The house was large, and almost comfortable as the air conditioning worked hard to cool it, making it like a warm day at the beach for me. Wilhelm led us to a spacious room at the back of the house. It contained a large dining room table surrounded by several chairs and a long comfy sofa off to one side. A bookcase lined the far wall, filled with books, stacks of VHS tapes, cassettes, records, and a stereo system. Next to that sat a colour TV with an Atari game system attached. Several pizza boxes, casually strewn books, pencils, and dice littered the tabletop.
“Have a seat,” Wilhelm said, gesturing to the long table. “Would anyone like something to drink? I just made a pot of coffee.”
“A glass of ice cubes would be great,” I said.
“Coffee would be sweet,” Brad said. The others, except for Caleb, all agreed.
“Mind if I use your bathroom?” Caleb said. “We haven’t stopped since Tonopah.”
“Second door on the right,” Wilhelm said, nodding and pointing to the hallway.
Over the next half hour, we got comfortably settled. My travel companions removed the jackets they’d worn during the trip but kept on long shirts and pants against the chill of house’s superb AC. Only our host—still in a T-shirt and shorts—and I seemed unbothered by the chill.
Wilhelm brought coffee, sodas, and snacks for the group. Hungry from the road, my companions dug in eagerly and relaxed. Mugs in hand, Brad and Lucy sat next to each other on the large sofa and sipped their coffee while Lilith examined Wilhelm’s large record collection with rapt interest. It wasn’t long before Caleb and Alan asked to use Wilhelm’s Atari and took turns playing Pac-Man, bickering happily among themselves. Bear, the Alaskan shepherd, lay nearby, his face resting on the floor, keeping silent watch.
Wilhelm put down his coffee and pulled up a chair across the dining room table from me, as I was eating ice cubes and thumbing idly through one of the nearby tomes. “Scott said you’re on the run from the government. That you were being held against your will.”
My eyes widened. “He told you that?”
His head bobbed. “Didn’t give him much choice. We—Olivia and me—insisted on knowing what we’re getting into here.” Bear raised his head and barked softly. “Correction, Olivia, Bear and me.”
“And hearing that, you’re still helping?”
“Of course. It’s every citizen’s duty to fight government oppression and overreach.” He looked around at the group. “Though, beats me how you all ended up travelling together.”
I nodded. “It’s been a crazy few days.”
“I’d like to hear about it,” Wilhelm said. “Scott would say only that you were special. That we wouldn’t believe how, but to be prepared.” He looked at his watch. “We’ve got time before he gets here.”
“Sure,” I said. “I guess you deserve to know.”
For the next while, I told him the same story that I’d told my travel companions, including my amnesia but leaving out my adventures at the cavern, as I had before. Our host listened attentively, shaking his head and widening his eyes at the more spectacular parts, particularly at the fight with the thugs at Lunar Crater, our flight from Tonopah and our escape from the phony FBI agents on the road.
Wilhelm shook his head and sighed. “Secret agencies are going to be the end of this country. They’re supposed to work for us, but how do we, the people, evaluate our employees if we don’t know—”
“You a fan of the Who?” Lilith asked from across the room, sitting cross-legged near the wall.
“What makes you say that?” Wilhelm said, turning his head.
“Duh, your record collection,” she said, holding up an album.
“I guess you could say that. I saw them at Woodstock. You?”
“Nah, I was just a baby,” Lilith said, slipping the album back into its place on the shelf. “But we’re going to see the Police in San Diego next month.”
“Nice, should be decent,” Wilhelm said, grinning. “Got a few of their albums, too.”
“Woodstock, though, that’s amazing,” Lilith said, unwrapping a fresh piece of Hubba Bubba bubble gum. Chewing wetly, she sprang to her feet and walked over to the long table, pulled out a chair and sat down. She pushed a pizza box away
and grabbed one of the books that lay scattered about the table.
“Sorry about the mess,” Wilhelm said. “We had a game last night.”
“What kind of game?” Lilith asked, opening the large hardcover tome. “Poker?”
“D&D,” Wilhelm replied. Lilith blinked, raising an eyebrow. “Dungeons and Dragons. It’s an RPG. A roleplaying game. I’m Dungeon Master.” He looked at me. “Our buddy Scott’s a regular party member.”
“Oh, right,” Brad said, grabbing the book and flipping through the pages. “That’s the game making kids go nuts and kill themselves. I heard about that.”
“That’s a whole lot of bullshit,” Wilhelm said. “Just a bunch of religious fanatics making shit up. Can’t have any other competing mythologies, especially those that acknowledge the fantasy, I guess.”
Lilith snickered, pointing a thumb at me. “Says the guy hanging out with a walking, talking, living snowman.”
Wilhelm’s eyes widened. “Uh, yeah, I suppose you got me there.” He paused, looking thoughtful. “But there’s one significant difference.”
“What’s that?” Lilith said, eyebrows raised.
“Evidence. You just said it,” he said, waving a hand in my direction. “Shivurr is standing right here as undeniable proof.”
“Did it ever occur to you that you all are as weird to me as I am to you?” I said, frowning. “How are you any more likely than me, when you really think about it?”
“It’s just that no one’s ever seen anything—uh, anyone, like you before,” Wilhelm said. “People are as common as dirt, but you’re entirely unprecedented, except in cartoons and storybooks.” The others nodded their agreement. “What I just can’t figure out is whether you’re some sort of government experiment or alien from outer space. You say you’re not, but since your memory is compromised, we can only guess.”
“Like I said, I remember some stuff from before the Institute.” I popped another ice cube into my mouth. “I wasn’t born there. I don’t know. Maybe I am an alien. This place, this countryside, sure doesn’t seem like home.”
“Nah, you’re an earthling, dude,” Caleb said. He still sat on the hardwood floor next to his larger friend, guiding Pac-Man through a virtual maze on the large TV, running from monsters, clearly determined to beat Alan’s high score.
“How d’you figure, Caleb?” I asked.
“Simple, dude: snowmen. Kids have been making snowmen for years, right? I don’t know what it means exactly, but what are the odds they’ve been making snow dudes that are dead ringers for aliens for forever? Maybe you guys have been around a while. Maybe still are, living in Canada or something. It’s supposed to be freezing there year-round.”
“No, it isn’t,” Lucy said to the back of his head. “We get summer. It can get up to forty degrees Celsius in summer. That’s like a hundred degrees Fahrenheit. We don’t live in igloos, either.” She shook her head, exasperated. “Americans.”
Caleb snorted. “Yeah, well, whatever, it’s cold there in winter, right?”
“Sure, freezing. Depends where you are, though. Winnipeg winters can be brutal. The West Coast, not so much.”
“Sounds like my kind of place,” I said, smiling. “Winnipeg, I mean.”
“Yeah, but it’s warm there—hot, even—in summer,” Lucy said. “I suppose it could be Canada, if you stayed far enough north, maybe near the North Pole. That’s probably cold enough year-round. That, or the South Pole. If you are from Earth—I can’t believe I just said that—that’s where you’d live. Antarctica is the coldest place on earth, all the time. We talked about it in a geology course at university last year.”
“I thought you were from California,” I said.
She shook her head. “Nope, just for school. I’m Canadian. Brad and I shared a geology class first year. That’s how we met.” She squeezed his hand fondly. “I came back early, before school starts, for this road trip.”
“Geology, eh?” I said. “Are you a geologist? Is that why you were out in the desert?”
She shook her head. “Uh-uh. Brad’s the geologist. I just took the one class.”
Brad held up his hands. “I’m not a geologist yet. I’ve been a rockhound since I was a kid, though.”
Wilhelm grabbed a hardcover book lying on the dining room table and slid it across to Lilith and me. The cover had crude drawings depicting a dragon, a centaur, a unicorn and other creatures. “Maybe the Monster Manual is non-fiction after all. But it needs updating. You’re not in it, Shivurr.”
“Is this a D&D book?” Lilith asked, dragging her chair closer.
Our host nodded. “One of many, but this is my favourite. I like to dream up monsters of my own—for the game—but it serves as inspiration sometimes. This one covers the abilities and nature of various creatures. The stats are the most important for die rolls.” A telephone rang somewhere in the house. “Excuse me, I’d better get that.”
He rushed from the room to answer the call. Caleb cursed as his last guy died in the mouth of a pink ghost and handed the controller to Alan. The blond surfer took it eagerly and started a new game. Lilith and I paged through the Monster Manual for a few minutes before our host returned.
“That was Scott. He’s been delayed. He said to hole up here for the night. He’ll be here tomorrow afternoon.” He looked around at the gathered group. “I called Olivia, too. She said to tell you that you’re welcome to stay the night or longer, if you’d like. We’ve got a few extra rooms. If you don’t want to double up, you can set up tents in the backyard. We’ve got a pool out back if you want to hang out there, too.”
Everyone looked at each other but didn’t immediately respond. “I’ll give you a few minutes to discuss it. It’s time for Bear’s lunch anyway.” The dog leaped to his feet and padded after Wilhelm toward the kitchen, tail wagging.
“You don’t have to,” I said after the two had left. “I know you guys want to get back home.”
My new friends looked at each other thoughtfully. “Well, we’re here already,” Brad said, looking at Lucy. “I’d still like to see the city. Maybe check out a few casinos.”
“Maybe you can get married at one of the quickie spots,” Lilith chirped.
“Oh, right,” Alan said, snorting, gulping a flashing blue ghost on the TV screen. “Our parents would freak.”
Brad and Lucy avoided each other’s gaze, looking uncomfortable.
“A swim would be nice,” Lucy said with pink cheeks. She turned to the teenagers. “What do you guys think? Stay or go?”
“Stay,” Alan and Caleb said in unison.
“Sure,” Lilith said, and her eyes brightened. “The asphalt looks really smooth out front. We can go skateboarding, Alan.”
Brad stood up, grabbing his keys. “All right, cool. Let’s set up the tents, then check out the pool.”
“You’re a poet and don’t even know it,” Caleb snickered, smiling wider when everyone groaned.
The doorbell interrupted further conversation.
Wilhelm walked back into the room, scowling. “Wait here,” he said, leaving the room. After a moment’s hesitation, I followed, creeping down the hall, my feet quiet on the carpet.
Wilhelm stood at the front door, holding it half-open with one foot wedged against the base, blocking my view of the visitors. “Sorry, guys, I’m not interested in whatever you’re selling.”
“We’re not salesmen, sir,” said a man’s voice. “We have come to share the word of God, if you are willing to listen.”
“Which God is that?” Wilhelm asked.
“Why, the one and true God, of course.”
“Not interested,” Wilhelm said. “Zeus and his pantheon are the only true gods.”
After a pause, the voice said, “I do believe hell awaits you, sir.”
“Been there, friend,” Wilhelm said. “Don’t believe the hype. You have a good day now, gentlemen.” The door clicked shut a moment later and Wilhelm threw the deadbolt into place.
“Oh, hey, ma
n,” Wilhelm said as he turned to face me. “Nothing to worry about. Just a couple guys selling tickets to God.”
I raised a brow. “Do you really believe that? About Zeus?”
Wilhelm laughed. “Just having a bit of fun.” He chuckled again, slapping me on the back. “Did you see the looks on their faces, though? Priceless.”
Chapter 10
Pool Party
We spent the afternoon in Wilhelm’s spacious backyard, which was enclosed by a high stone fence, shielding the area from prying eyes. At our host’s urging, the Californians had set up camp and two tents now flapped in the dry desert breeze, pitched a half hour earlier. Wilhelm left for the store while they did so to get supplies for a late-afternoon barbecue.
While we waited, Brad, Alan and Caleb tossed a Nerf football in the pool, showing off. Lilith, wearing cut-off denim shorts and a halter top, watched with a smile from a nearby lounge while idly flipping through a Teen Beat magazine in her lap. A broad-brimmed hat and oversized sunglasses protected her fair skin from the sun’s power. Lucy sunbathed next to her, wearing dark sunglasses and a pink bikini. Her skin, lightly tanned except for pale hips and thighs, glistened in the sun, coated in a thick layer of Coppertone 6 that filled the air with the smell of coconuts, attracting sidelong glances from the boys in the pool. I sat in the shade of a large umbrella with my winter coat zipped tight, out of view of the neighbours, and sipped a large glass of iced tea.
Not long after, Wilhelm returned, visible through the glass patio doors that looked out on the backyard from the kitchen, hefting armloads of groceries like they weighed nothing. He quickly stocked the fridge and cupboards, then slid the patio door aside, slipped into a pair of flip-flops on the way and came over to join us. Grabbing a beer from the red-and-white Coleman cooler sitting by the poolside, he collapsed into a nearby lounge, cracked open the can, and lay back with a sigh.