by Emma Vikes
Britney furrowed her eyebrows and then her hands dropped from my face. “Patrick, what’s wrong?”
For a moment, I contemplated telling her. If the truth came out now, the chances of forgiveness were greater. I could tell her that I only entertained the idea because I thought I would be hitting two birds with one stone, and by this time, I realized how wrong this whole idea had been. My mother didn’t expect me to fall in love with Britney. She had expected that I’d go through with the plan and to drop Britney like she was just some girl that I’d picked up from the street and not someone who actually held my heart.
But I didn’t have the balls to tell her the truth right then so I veered in a different direction.
I placed my hands around her waist to steady her and then I kissed the tip of her chin. “I’m just mentally tired from looking at statistics and all that crap.”
She looked at me for a moment and I anticipated that she’d press more and ask more questions. She placed a gentle hand on the side of my face and I found myself leaning into her touch, feeling the warmth of her skin that cocooned me into a gentle embrace. “If something’s wrong, tell me when you’re ready.”
I had to look away because a million and one emotions just hit me with her words. I’d always wondered when I would be able to find the girl that would love me enough to respect and understand me, to give me the time I needed and not pester me. The past weeks that I’d spent with Britney had made me feel like I knew her intimately. She got my dry sense of humor and played video games with me and was better than me at them. She would cook for me, cook with me, and eat gross take-out food with me. But what I loved most was that she understood me at a level that I needed to be understood. We both had our scars, given to us by the people we loved, and we both had tried to hide them from everyone else except each other. And she got that. She understood that and respected it.
“I love you.” Britney stared at me with wide hazel eyes and I scolded myself for blurting it out just like that. She was ready to get up from my lap but I placed my hand on her shoulders and motioned for her to stay put. “I...I wasn’t supposed to say it like that. I was supposed to make some grand gesture and then confess my feelings to you. I was supposed to have a speech prepared and I’d tell you how amazing you are, how brilliant, how you’ve continually proved to the world that you’re more than just a pretty face...”
I was rambling and I wasn’t sure if it was because I was so surprised with the three words that had just come out of my mouth or because my mother’s visit still bothered me, but I had a feeling that it was definitely the former. I was still rambling when Britney’s mouth covered mine in a slow and sensual kiss, and when I responded it turned passionate and more urgent and I stood up from the chair and carried her all the way to the bedroom.
Our mouths were still locked when I laid her down on the bed, my hands tearing the clothes she wore as she tried to unbutton my jeans. I pulled away for a second to strip myself of my clothing and then pounced right back onto her on the bed. “Patrick, hmm.”
She pulled away from me for a hot second and said, “Make love to me.”
I stared at her with furrowed eyebrows. “Britney...”
Britney’s eyes looked liquid gold at this moment, her hair was spilling onto the white mattress, golden and luscious and so beautiful. Staring at her felt like I was trapped in a sea of liquid gold and I was too entranced to figure out a way to escape. But I didn’t mind. I didn’t mind getting lost in her sea of gold, didn’t mind that I was slowly losing myself to the girl underneath me, to the girl that I never thought would be mind.
“I love you too, Patrick.”
Those five words felt like they opened the gateway to heaven for me because my mouth found Britney’s again and there was nothing urgent or rushed about this kiss. I wanted to savor the taste of her, no foreplay, just the taste of her body. We rarely had sex slowly, it was always rushed and hurried like there was a deadline or something.
I wanted to make her feel how much I loved her. We were a tangled of limbs on the bed, my mouth on every inch of her skin I could kiss, her hands roaming my body, memorizing every curve that I had. I’d never had sex this languidly before, this romantic, and this endearing. It felt like a brand-new discovery for me like I was learning something new about what the world could offer, about what love could offer to me and her.
“Oh Patrick,” Britney moaned, her hand tangled in my hair, her neck arching as she gave me access to more of her skin. I nibbled and sucked and kissed until I spread her legs apart gently and pushed myself inside of her, feeling the passion building with each thrust. She clung onto me, trying to pull me closer to her even if it was no longer possible.
After we reached our climax, I fell onto the bed next to her and pulled her closer. The after-sex cuddles weren’t new but it felt like that after the confession of our feelings. I looked down at her and watched as her eyes slowly drifted closed under the afternoon light. I kissed the top of her head. “I love you, Britney Baldwin.”
Chapter 10
Britney
IT FELT LIKE THE ENTIRE world had shifted on its axis and the earth rotated in a different direction after I heard those three words come out of Patrick’s mouth. Suddenly the sun seemed to shine brighter, the birds seemed to sing happier, the sky was bluer, and everything just felt incredibly better. I’d heard I love you’s from other guys before, professing their love for me in a big way, often just to get me into bed or get me to spoil them rotten.
But it was different with Patrick.
It was so cute when he was rambling as he tried his best to say it in a more romantic way but he had no idea how much I loved the way he’d just blurted it out, like the words had always been there on the tip of his tongue, waiting for the right moment to exit his mouth. The past two days had been a blast too.
“So, he confessed that he loves you but still hasn’t made things official between the two of you?” Lauren asked, the confusion in her eyes clear. “I remembered how pissed off you were at Nate when he never made things official with you and it came to a point that you purposely cheated on him so that you could tell him that nothing was ever made official between the two of you.”
I winced at that thought. “We were in high school when that happened, Laur. Don’t you think we’re too old for that shit now?”
Lauren sighed but didn’t press the conversation further, knowing that I wouldn’t even believe a thing that came out of her mouth about this. I was happy with what I had with Patrick, ecstatic that he was in love with me. Everyone else’s opinion became irrelevant to me when I was happy and Lauren knew that. “Where is Patrick, by the way? He called Alex way too early and Alex hasn’t recounted their conversation to me yet.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle. “You have your boyfriend on a tight leash, Lauren. Patrick told me he’s needed at the site. He’ll be back in time to take me out to dinner.”
Date nights were a thing for the two of us. It was nice to have a normal conversation without attending to the urge of screwing each other on the dinner table. Whenever we had dinner at the apartment, we always ended up fucking each other and eating the dinner at midnight and then falling asleep after another heated sex session. We hadn’t really toned down the sex part of our relationship but I didn’t mind and, obviously, Patrick didn’t either.
“That seems nice. Alex has been so busy recently that we never go on dates. We’re usually just stuck at home.” I could hear the pouting in Lauren’s tone and the rest of our conversation was about her relationship with Alex. It was admirable that even when she was annoyed at the fact that they were both too busy for their relationship, she still wanted to stay.
My phone rang again just as I was about to put it down on the coffee table and I saw that it was dad. I hadn’t talked to him since the move which wasn’t surprising. He rarely called me when I was at college, the only time I got to see him was when I came home to New York and, when he won senator, I almost never got to se
e him except on holidays.
“Hey, dad.”
“Hi, love. How are you? I heard you were at Harvard already and started your program early. Why didn’t you tell me?”
I sighed and then fell back on one of the throw pillows on the couch. “I didn’t think I needed permission to make a decision when I’m twenty-four, dad.”
It wasn’t that I was being mean to my dad. We had a fairly good relationship, the past had been brushed under a carpet for good. We would never discuss why he left me in Nana’s care when I needed my father as I grieved. Since he’d married Lara, he had been trying to make it up to me. But spontaneous trips to the Bahamas never really fixed things. There was still some distance wedged between the two of us and I didn't think buying me an entire building or a yacht could ever fix it.
On the other end, I heard him exhale loudly. “I’m scheduled for a state visit to Massachusetts. I was wondering when you’re free to have dinner with me? And where are you staying? You’re not spending all your cash to stay in a luxurious hotel, are you?”
This time, I chuckled at his remark. Despite the riches that Christopher Baldwin had, one of the things he taught me was to make sure I didn’t spend too much on useless things. Why spend your money paying for rent when you can buy the entire apartment building as an investment? The man may have abandoned me for a fraction of my childhood but he was a genius as a businessman and politician.
“No, dad. I...have my own place, I guess. When are you coming here? I have something to tell you anyway.”
“Alright. I’ll have Samantha email you my schedule. I’ll see you soon, sweetheart. Take care.”
He hung up on me and I lounged on the sofa for a while, wondering if I should tell Patrick about this now or later when I heard a knock on the door. I wondered who it could be. None of my new friends at Harvard knew where I lived because I hadn’t told them, knowing of the possibility that they would run into Patrick and we would be exposed. I wanted to savor the privacy of our relationship before we told the public because I knew that then we would be harassed by many self-entitled people.
But my mouth dropped in surprise when I opened the door to find Lara on the other side. She seemed as surprised as I was. “Britney?”
I blinked and then I was ready to slam the door on her face and jump out of the apartment and disappear. Lara and I’d never bonded in the years that we’d lived under the same roof. Sometimes I still got the feeling that she didn’t like me but she had no choice in the matter because I came with the package of marrying Christopher Baldwin. Lara was the kind of mother that every Upper East Sider’s child feared. She had this intimidating aura surrounding her and not in a good way.
“Lara. Hi, it’s...nice seeing you here.”
“Patrick’s not at home? I was in town and thought that maybe I could surprise him. He mentioned he was in Massachusetts.” Lara looked so calm while she talked to me, so restrained. “Can I ask why you’re here in his apartment?”
Her eyes looked down at what I wore. I was dressed in Patrick’s clothes. Damn it. “Uhh...there was something wrong with the water flow at my place so I called him and asked if I could take a bath here.”
“And you’re wearing his clothes...why?”
I could feel myself almost sweating as I tried to come up with a good answer. If Lara found out about Patrick and me, she would surely tell dad and then this would all be blown out of proportion and that was the last thing I wanted to happen. “I have to go somewhere tonight and I don’t want to ruin my dress. Patrick said I could stay here awhile and knock myself out with whatever he has here to keep me preoccupied. Do you want to come in?”
Lara’s eyes were calculating and I could feel her assessing everything that I just said. Finally, she flashed me a tight smile and said, “No, it’s fine. I’m just going to call Patrick again. He hasn’t been answering any of my texts.”
I nodded my head, trying to act like I was disappointed she wouldn’t be staying here with me. “Oh, okay. Maybe we could have lunch soon? Dad said he’ll be flying here for a state visit and asked if we could have lunch. Maybe we could do that altogether, as a family.”
I almost winced at the word family because were we still considered a family if Patrick and I were fooling around? What did that make us? Lara nodded her head, the motion brisk as she replied, “Sure thing. Chris mentioned that to me which is why I flew here earlier. He’ll be here next week. I thought I’d have some time to spend with my son before Chris dragged us all into family things.”
Dad did have the habit of forcing us to spend time together to bond. It wasn’t that I minded. Most of the time I was on my phone and trying my best to find a guy to distract myself from Patrick. There wasn’t really any bonding that happened during those things. I didn’t also mind that she wanted to bond with just Patrick.
Lara had tried to bond with me when I was younger but we never really clicked. Sometimes I would catch her staring at me with a pained expression on her face and I couldn’t help but wonder if I reminded her of the daughter she’d lost. Paula Cunningham’s tragic accident had rocked the entire Upper East Side when it had happened, a brilliant youth gone too soon, as the tabloids had put it. I was too young to remember how Lara had been before Paula’s death, but Patrick told me that the death of his sister had changed his mother dramatically.
“Okay. I’m sure he’d love to spend time with you, Lara. Are you sure you don’t want to come in? Have some coffee or tea?”
Again, she flashed me a tight smile and shook her head, declining my offer. “It’s okay, Britney. I better get going. By any chance, do you know where the site is?”
I told her the address and then bid her goodbye. When I closed the door, I pressed my back against the hardwood and sank to my knees, heaving a breath of relief. That was a fucking close one. I’d better call Patrick and tell him that his mother had stopped by.
And then I paused. Why hadn’t Patrick mentioned his mother calling him? I mean, when had Lara called him? While I was at school or while he was at the site? Those were the only times that Patrick and I had been apart. I couldn’t help but wonder. But then again, it’s not like Patrick and I told each other everything. We were always too preoccupied with each other or on other things and we rarely discussed how our days went.
I picked up my phone from the coffee table and began to call him, only to end up listening to his voicemail. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Why wasn’t he answering? Often times, he would answer my calls in a heartbeat. I continued to call him, looking around the apartment because he might’ve left his phone here. It was in the kitchen, I could hear it vibrating against the granite counter. I rolled my eyes and picked his phone up, ending the call.
His phone didn’t have a password and I saw that there were a bunch of text messages and voicemails from Lara. I guess it was plain curiosity but I opened one of Lara’s texts and read it.
“Son, are you at the apartment? You’re not answering any of my calls. Are you mad about our conversation the other day? Let’s have coffee and we can discuss how you can approach Britney with Stocks.”
I stared at the text, more confused than ever. What the heck was she talking about? The conversation the other day? Had she come here and Patrick never mentioned it to me? And what did they have to discuss about me and Stocks? Patrick never brought up Stocks in any of our conversations and we never really talked about the announcement that dad had made.
I couldn’t shake off the curiosity and the thirst to answer the questions that were sprouting in my head and I knew that this was wrong, but I needed the answers and I knew I couldn’t wait for Patrick, the curiosity was killing me. I opened one voicemail and listened to it.
“Patrick, son, are you still mad at me about the other day? You’ve been ignoring my texts and phone calls for a while now.” I could hear the irritation in Lara’s voice. “I’m only doing this because of you, son. Stocks will be your starting point and from leading that company I know that you will le
ad a ton more. But you need to lead Stocks by yourself, not in partnership with Britney.”
My mouth dropped in shock. “Whether you like it or not, Patrick, you will talk Britney into giving you her share of Stocks. I’m sure you already have her wrapped around your finger. That girl can be so gullible and such a fool. That girl didn’t see Morgan fooling her and she doesn’t see you doing the same thing to her. Such a stupid brat. I don’t understand why Christopher praises her for her brilliance when she has none.”
“We can talk about this more when we meet up. I’ll go by your apartment to pick you up for a coffee.”
I stared at the phone as Lara’s voice ended in a click. I couldn’t believe what I’d just heard. So this was all an elaborate plan to steal Stocks from me? What the fuck? Was Patrick even in love with me or was he just simply doing his part of his mother’s sick plan?
Was this all just a game?
Chapter 11
Patrick
MONEY COULD TRULY CHANGE a person because the woman sitting in front of me was nothing like the mother who’d raised me. She kept on telling me about how we were going to finish this plan off, how she had met with Britney earlier at the apartment - something that had caused me to panic - and had said that it was so clear how in love Britney was with me. She kept saying how easy it was and how Stocks was going to be ours soon enough.
She kept on talking and talking until I finally found the courage to butt in. “I’m not doing this anymore, mom.”
Mom sipped her coffee slowly, her eyes drilling into mine. “What do you mean, Patrick?”
I looked at her in exasperation. Didn’t she get it? Couldn’t she see it? If she could see that Britney was in love with me, why she couldn’t see that I was in love with Britney? “Mom, please, don’t act like you don’t get me.”