by Leia Stone
Tears pricked my eyes and my bottom lip quivered. “Why?”
“Haven’t you figured it out by now?” Gage stepped closer, nearly pressing his body up against mine, and I held my breath for a moment.
“What?” I snapped, no longer sad, fully wanting to throat punch him for being such a jerk.
“You’re my weakness and I can’t have a weakness,” he growled, looking down at my lips.
He was more broken than I realized if he thought caring for someone was a weakness.
I stepped forward, pressing my body flush with his, and tipped my chin up so that I could look directly into his eyes.
“You’re so stubborn, I hate you sometimes,” I said through clenched teeth. I knew I was pushing him to the brink, but I didn’t care. I wanted to shove him over the edge and watch his stony resolve crumble in front of me. Consequences be damned.
His hands came up to rest on my hips, sending a blast of warmth through my body from the point of contact as the muscles in his jaw clenched.
“You have no idea,” he said through gritted teeth. His fingers flexed at my sides as fire flashed in his eyes.
I growled then. The tension and frustration between us had reached critical mass.
The throaty noise finally ignited something in Gage. He cupped the back of my head, tugging me forward. We crashed into each other, and I offered him zero resistance, pressing harder into him.
Our lips clashed with an urgency I’d never felt before. His mouth was a drug I couldn’t get enough of.
On instinct, I sucked Gage’s lower lip into my mouth, and he groaned.
Walking me backward, I followed his movement until my back hit the brick alley wall. Wrapping his free hand around my lower back, he hauled me upward and I looped my legs around him, hooking my ankles at his lower back, but it wasn’t close enough.
His hand skimmed over my hip until it met the bare skin on my stomach, the contact sending a jolt of awareness throughout my body.
Skating a hand over his shoulders, I reveled in the feeling of the muscles beneath his shirt. Our tongues intertwined in a frenzy of desire as all of the rage and adoration I had for this idiot mixed into one giant fevered moment.
Gage dragged his mouth from mine, trailing kisses up my jaw to my neck, and I released a soft moan when he found a sensitive spot beneath my ear.
Bringing his mouth back to mine, he kissed me with so much passion it stole my breath and made me never want the moment to end.
But just as quickly as it started, he suddenly pulled back, as if shaking himself from a daze, and dropped me to my feet.
Holy epic kiss. We could have been kissing like that all along?
I was only sorry we waited until now to figure that out.
Chest heaving, I brought my fingers up to touch my swollen lips and grinned just as Gage took two giant steps back.
He shook his head. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
A frown pulled the grin right off my mouth. “I’m glad you did.”
He shook his head adamantly, a look of defeat on his face. “Tatum. Go home. Be a Lumen. Forget me.”
He called me Tatum for the first time, and for some reason it stung.
Now was the absolute worst time to cry. I wanted to be strong and not let him see how hurt that made me, but I was so raw from what Gran just told me that I couldn’t stop the single tear that slipped down my cheek.
“Apollyon is my father,” I blurted.
Gage froze, unmoving, unbreathing for a full minute. I expected him to ask me to tell him the whole story, but instead he just said, “You’re sure?”
I nodded.
“That makes sense,” he said. “And all the more reason for you to get the hell out of here and stay with the Lumens. Don’t come back here again.” He turned, giving me his back.
“You’re a real prick, you know that?” I shouted at his retreating form. “The one person I wanted to talk to when I heard this news was you!” I picked up an empty soda can and chucked it at him.
He stopped, spinning around and storming back at me, anger all over his face.
“Why? Because you thought the darkness of Apollyon would make you more like me?”
Guilt wormed its way into my gut, and Gage shook his head, his next words sounding tortured. “You don’t see what I see? You’re all light and goodness, okay? You could never even be a tenth of a Shade, no matter who your father is. People aren’t born bad, they become it.”
Grief ripped through me so unexpectedly then. He was talking about himself. He thought he was bad, that he’d become his father?
“Gage, you’re not—”
His wings snapped out so fast I yelped in shock, stumbling backward, and Gage glared at me. “Come around this block again and I’ll turn you in.”
He kicked off the ground and shot into the sky like a rocket.
Emptiness filled my body. I wished I’d never met Gage Alston.
CHAPTER
EIGHTEEN
I was dressed in black battle leathers that were covered in sleek armor. Shiny silver plates hugged both shoulders and shielded my shins, and a fitted breastplate lay against my chest. Other bits of armor were speckled over my arms and legs, but not too much to make the coverings feel bulky. The gold ceremonial sword that was sheathed at my hip completed my Ascension getup.
I was surprised when Drea brought me the garb, expecting to be clothed in a flowy white dress or something equally virginal for my visit to Avalon to meet an angel. But once I got over the feeling that I looked like a professional cosplayer headed to my next Comic-Con, I had to admit I looked pretty badass. Full princess-warrior garb beat damsel-in-distress costume any day of the week. At least it did in my book. Drea had said that I was a demon hunter and warrior now, so I needed to look the part.
As I walked with Drea to the Ascension Sanctuary, I was glad for the armor. I was nervous and confused, and the silver plates strapped to my body helped boost my confidence and made me feel protected.
Last night had been hard. I understood that Gran couldn’t tell me about Apollyon because of the curse that had been placed on her, but I was struggling to come to terms with the truth of my parentage. Gran said she wouldn’t push me, but I couldn’t bring myself to have another conversation with her about Apollyon, which was ironic because now that she finally could tell me everything, I couldn’t bear to hear it.
“Are you excited?” Drea asked.
Normally a family member would escort you to the Ascension Sanctuary, but Gran still wasn’t strong enough to leave the healing hospital, so Drea was standing in for her, which I was grateful for. As we walked out of the dorms on the bottom floor, we stepped into the courtyard and I plastered on what I hoped was a convincing smile and nodded, hoping she didn’t know me well enough yet to see through the facade.
Truth was, that doubts had plagued me since my conversation with Gran last night. Gage said people weren’t born bad, but did I really believe that was true? I wanted it to be. I’d always lived my life that way. Even with Gage I never thought he was inherently evil because of who his father was, but what if I was wrong? What if there was some gene Apollyon passed on to me that meant I’d never truly be good? A black mark on my soul I could never wipe clean. Would the angels in Avalon even accept the daughter of the Fallen Angel who was the ruler of the Netherworld as one of their own?
We strolled through the hidden garden in the center of the Lumen Compound. A breeze carried the fresh smell of the newly-budded roses, making me momentarily forget we were in the middle of New York City, and a peaceful feeling settled over me. By the time we reached the stairs at the base of the Ascension Sanctuary, I felt a tiny bit better.
I spotted the Angel Gang standing off to the side, leaning up against the library and a huge grin broke out on my face. Dash, Jacob, Skye, and Marlow all gave me a wave.
“I told them not to stand too close and embarrass you,” Drea warned.
“Go get ’em, girl!” Marlow hollered
across the entire garden, causing my cheeks to pinken.
“Lumens for life, baby!” Skye whooped.
Drea chuckled and turned me toward the sanctuary steps.
My gaze drifted up the gray stone staircase to the opposing dark wood double doors, the only entrance and exit into the one-room structure from what I could tell. Two Lumen guards stood at each side of the door, hands on the hilts of their swords, which hung from scabbards on their hips. I chewed on my lip as I took in the ornate filigree etched into the stone around the entrance, and the battle scenes of angels in full armor. Their spread wings were carved into the panels of the twelve-foot-tall doors.
“Hey. It’s okay to be nervous,” Drea said, giving the guards a nod.
I tore my gaze from the Ascension Sanctuary and turned to Drea. She had a soft look of understanding on her face that just about broke me.
“No, I’m not—” I started, but then stopped myself. Even though we’d only known each other a short time, Drea had proven several times over what a solid friend she was. I didn’t want to lie to her. “Yeah, I’m nervous. The last couple days have been extra hard.”
She nodded in understanding. I confided in Drea about my conversation with Gran, and also that I ran to Gage afterward and what a huge mistake that had been. She was of course super understanding, in typical Drea fashion. We’d stayed up talking half the night last night, but I didn’t share my fears about ascending.
“This is a big day, Tatum,” Drea wisely said. “You’ve had to take in a ton of information about our world in a very short period of time. It’s only natural that you’d have anxiety. The Lumens who choose to ascend have years and years to make their decision. You’ve had less than two weeks. Give yourself a break.”
“What if they don’t want me?” The vulnerability of my statement was punctuated by the tremble in my voice. The day of their eighteenth birthday was the day most Lumens looked forward to more than any other, yet here I was practically shaking in my boots, ready to bolt in the other direction at any moment. The tranquility the secret garden had brought me was now gone, doused in fear.
“Oh, Tatum, they will. They do.” She pulled me into a hug that I could feel despite the armor wrapped around me. When she drew back, she searched my gaze. My eyes were watery with unshed tears. Now that I’d verbalized my fear, the waterworks demanded to be unleashed.
“It doesn’t matter who your parents are, or what they did. You don’t inherit darkness. Watchers are blessed with free will, just like humans. You are your own person. Despite whatever ties you have to Apollyon, you’re choosing light over darkness, and that’s what really matters.”
A single tear leaked from the corner of my eye, and I let it slide down my face rather than brush it away. Taking a deep breath, I let the truth of Drea’s words sink in, and for the first time in days hope bloomed in my chest, pushing out the fear, the anxiety, the feeling that I was somehow less than. This time, the smile that lifted the corners of my mouth was authentic.
“Thanks. I really needed to hear that.”
“That’s what friends are for.” Drea winked and then turned me toward the sanctuary. “Now, get in there and get your Ascension on. We have a wicked birthday party planned for you tonight that we can’t start until you go get all suped up with angelic powers. Between you and me, I’m secretly hoping you get wings bigger than Jacob to shut him up about his.”
I looked over at the Watchers and grinned. Jacob was talking to Dash and showing him something on his phone. Marlow and Skye waved to me.
I perked up even more. “A party? Will there be cake?”
“You’ll have to wait and see,” Drea said with a cheeky grin and a sparkle in her dark eyes. “I’ll be out here the whole time. I’ll see you when you get back.”
She wasn’t going in with me?
I guess it was kind of a private thing, but I wasn’t ready to let go of my comfort person just yet.
“Okay… see you when I get back.” From Avalon… which was where angels lived… and basically made it Heaven.
No big deal.
Nodding, I set my sights forward and gave the guards a small wave. They stepped away from the door, giving me full access to the building as the nerves in my stomach tightened. One final whoop from Marlow and Skye across the garden and I was ready. Sucking up all the courage I could muster, I marched up the stairs, opened the double doors, and walked into the building. The doors swung shut behind me, cutting me off from Drea and the others, dampening the regular New York street noises.
There weren’t any overhead lights in the sanctuary, but there didn’t need to be because the spinning vortex against the far back wall cast light throughout the entire space. In contrast to the reddish portals to the Netherworld, the one in front of me was a mix of whites and blues. A faint breeze, tinted with the scent of flowers and sunshine, wafted from the portal. Lyrical notes, faint enough that I couldn’t quite hear the melody, tickled my eardrums.
I caught my breath as a wave of peace washed over me. Something in Avalon spoke to my heart, calling out to me.
I took a step forward. Whatever anxiety I was still holding on to just drifted away in that moment.
“You feel the call, don’t you?” Aurelia’s voice wasn’t loud, but she startled me. I’d been so entranced by the purity of the vortex to Avalon that I hadn’t even noticed she was there.
She moved from the corner of the room to stand next to me, clad in a white robe that covered her from neck to toe. I was relieved to see her. Going through this completely alone wasn’t ideal.
“It’s beautiful.” Unshed tears welled in my eyes. “Can I?” Now that I was here and felt the flow of energy, I couldn’t wait to go to Avalon and see what it was like.
Aurelia gestured to the portal. “Absolutely. I’ll wait right here.”
I swallowed hard, stepping forward and giving her a small smile.
I was about to enter a portal into the upper realms of the universe. No biggie.
It was like the blue and white light was magnetically pulling me forward. I almost couldn’t stop myself, and I didn’t want to. I wanted to run and jump into it feet first.
Reaching forward, the tips of my fingers grazed the portal, and I could feel warmth from the dimension beyond. I was about to take that last step when the ground shook.
There was a loud bang on the roof, and I looked up to the rafters, expecting to see a hole in the ceiling.
“What was—?”
Unearthly shrieks rang out from the other side of the sanctuary walls, and the hairs on my arms stood up. The ground rumbled, and an alarm sounded somewhere inside the Lumen Compound.
“The sanctuary is warded,” Aurelia yelled over the noise, her face betraying the smallest amount of panic. “Nothing can get in here.”
That meant something was out there. Another demon? The same alarm from the night of the demon attack in the gym started to blare.
“But Drea and the others are outside!” Panic gripped me as I stumbled away from the portal.
A trickle of wood and stone rained down on us as something up above tried to smash and claw its way in.
A fist pounded on the sanctuary’s large wooden doors.
“We’re under attack!” Drea yelled, her voice muffled.
Glancing at Aurelia, I saw the spark of fear in her eyes before she shut it down. “Go, Tatum,” she called to me, as she took off toward her daughter. “We’ll hold them off. Get to Avalon!”
There must have been some sort of noise dampening magic on the sanctuary because the moment Aurelia pushed through the doors, the sounds of battle increased tenfold, and then cut off again when the heavy wood panels swung shut.
Were the demons attacking now in order to stop me from going to Avalon? I knew for a fact this wasn’t the first time Apollyon sent demons after me. It made a scary sort of sense that he’d try to stop me from becoming a Lumen. I felt stupid for not considering that this could happen.
I looked back at the port
al to Avalon, my heart tugging me in that direction, but then another loud thud came from above, shaking the whole building.
I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t walk through that portal knowing Lumens were being attacked, knowing Drea was being attacked, all because of me.
Even without my full powers I could still help.
I glanced down at the gold sword sheathed at my side and grimaced. With any luck, this beauty would have some demon-slaying mojo in the blade.
Spinning, I sprinted for the doors, shoving through them and into a war zone.
Holy hellfire and brimstone.
The air was thick with sulfur and smoke. Demons were pouring into the area from three separate newly cast portals as Lumens ran from the surrounding buildings to defend the compound against the assault. Battles between Lumen and the shadowy monsters raged throughout the beautiful, once tranquil, courtyard.
I spotted Aurelia shouting orders. She had quickly shirked out of the white robes, revealing she was dressed in battle gear beneath. I guessed you had to be prepared for anything in this line of work.
Her husband, Theo, stood behind her, guarding her back. He cut down any demon that tried to get to her. Drea was on her left, doing the same.
It was chaos.
An orange fireball whizzed through the air in front of me, close enough that the heat from the blaze warmed my face, and I stumbled backward. The fireball splashed over the chest of a Lumen warrior I didn’t recognize, engulfing him. His scream of agony reached me, and I gasped as several people ran to his aid, forcing the Lumen to the ground to try to put out the flames.
If Hell were ever unleashed on Earth, this is what it would look like.
I scanned the battleground, unsure of where to jump into the fray, until my gaze snagged on one of the red and black portals. Demons were filing out of it two by two as more hunters reached the ground floor to join the battle. Adults and teens descended into the garden. It was all hands on deck.
An idea came to me then. If I could open portals, then was it possible that I could use the same power to close one?