Matt started to laugh. “Well then, we’ve been told. Do you want to get married?”
Anna glared at him. “Matt, I don’t find this funny at all. She’s a self-righteous old biddy—”
Matt placed a finger on her fiery lips and stilled the tirade of not-so-pleasant words that begged to tumble forth.
“Come, my lovely. You look way too attractive when you’re angry, and the church isn’t the place to kiss that pout off your lips.”
She slapped him on the arm. “You’re incorrigible, Matt, and quit flirting with me.” She turned and made for the door.
“I’ll never stop, Anna. Never!”
Her heart picked up speed as anger flew out the window. With or without the likes of Myrtle Pinsmith, she planned on having a fantastic Christmas.
The two of them played with Melody for a bit before Anna tucked her into bed. She found Matt in the living room where he’d taken it upon himself to turn the Christmas tree lights on, the overhead lights off, and make a fire that crackled and glowed.
Anna felt a raw intimacy and began to babble as she fussed with a Christmas bulb on the tree.
“I’m glad that Lorena’s getting away to enjoy some sun. They’re at an all-inclusive resort in hopes Lorena eats a lot. She’s way too thin.
“Oh, and did I tell you Todd is stoked … his words not mine. He got to bring a friend—”
“Anna.” Matt interrupted. “Do you really think I’m interested in your nervous chatter about Mexico?”
Anna whirled around from the tree to catch a lazy smile play across his face. Her heart tripped a beat at him sprawled across her couch in total relaxation. Her breath hitched as she noticed a wayward curl that hung across his forehead. Her fingers itched to run through his curly locks and smooth that curl into place. Her eyes locked with his as she took a trip down memory lane to the passionate night they shared. Heat immediately rushed to her face.
He sat up straight and patted the spot beside him on the couch. “Come sit with me.”
She made her way over and sat on the opposite end of the couch facing him.
“What, now I bite?” He asked lightheartedly as a crooked smile activated that crazy dimple on the right side of his cheek.
“Good thing you can laugh, Matt, because I’m so not comfortable here.”
“Why? Are you afraid of allowing yourself to feel, Anna?”
He was so close to the truth that it hurt.
He slid closer and grabbed one hand and lifted it to his lips. Tenderly, he kissed each finger and then placed her hand over his heart.
She could feel the rapid movement beneath her finger tips through the weight of his sweater.
“That’s what you do to me, Anna. I can’t be in your presence without my heart racing like Street Sense in the Kentucky Derby.” He laughed and dropped her hand but nudged closer.
“You should have seen that horse run. I was fortunate enough to be there. I’ll have to take you to a race sometime so you’ll know what I mean.”
The low rumble of his voice relaxed Anna, and she sank into the cushions. When he slipped an arm around her shoulder, she allowed it to stay there. Warm. Welcome. Wonderful.
Christmas morning dawned bright and beautiful. Matt stood at his window with the view of the city and lake spread before him. His perch up on Dilworth Mountain was one of the best. There had been a time when his possessions and status mattered, but not anymore. He would sell his house in a flash and live with Anna in her quiet unassuming neighborhood far below, if only she’d have him. Just the thought set his pulse racing.
She had no idea of the torture she had placed him in the night before. Nor could she begin to understand the discipline it took to have her close and not succumb to the desire to kiss her or nuzzle her long graceful neck relaxed against him.
She couldn’t know that he had prayed for a miracle as they sat side-by-side and begged God to heal her insecurities. All Anna would know is that they had a wonderful time. They laughed, talked, and enjoyed each other’s company.
God, however, knew he prayed for so much more. The hope of a new day opened before him. A whole day to spend with his two favorite girls. He would make the most of it.
Covered beneath a dusting of fresh snow, the remnant of a few twinkling lights dotted the view. The world looked unspoiled and serene. He moved to his favorite chair with a hot cup of coffee in hand to watch the sun crest the eastern ridge. Like a million diamonds upon the surface of the earth, sunbeams spread and danced across the snow.
His cat, Abby, wound around his legs purring. He picked her up and stroked her back as he prayed.
“Thank you, God, for so many blessings. I surrender the difficult and believe you have all in your control.
“What a wonderful way to start both Christmas and my birthday. No one could’ve told me last Christmas, God, that in the span of the next year I’d have the gift of you, the gift of my beautiful baby, and the gift of a spirited, stubborn, but special woman in my life. My dreams never got that big. You have truly blessed me.” Matt whispered an amen into the heavens.
He opened his Bible to read, but his mind drifted to the conversation he knew he had to have with Anna. If they were going to make it as a couple or raise Melody in harmony, Anna would have to accept the fact he had money and lots of it.
Pastor Harry had taught him how some people were given the gift of going to the ends of the earth to evangelize and others the need to support them financially and prayerfully. With an already philanthropic viewpoint, Matt found the idea of tithing and giving to missions exciting.
He could tell his possessions intimidated Anna. Born into money, he’d grown up in a privileged home where education and affluence were an everyday experience. Though he had worked hard, he’d been given every tool with which to succeed. He no longer felt the urge to hide his life in order to blend into hers. The truth was long overdue.
He was sure one of the reasons Anna may have felt less-than-pleased with his home had to do with the sprawling coldness. Hiring Katrina had been a gift.
He surveyed the transformation once again and his excitement grew. A sense of cozy welcome radiated from even the larger rooms, and he couldn’t wait to see Anna’s surprise. He hoped she would love the changes. When he’d first shown her his home, she hadn’t been wowed by the opulence or fantastic view. She’d checked out Melody’s nursery with little enthusiasm and sighed heavily when he insisted on a tour. Her politeness had sounded forced.
He hoped today would change all that. Rather than what was vogue or trendy, he wanted a cozy home for Melody, one that mirrored both his and Anna’s taste. He prayed the effort would make Anna feel comfortable and treasured.
Anna awoke Christmas morning with a burst of joy in her heart. She spent the first moments of the day in prayer asking God for strength to do what she believed wisdom asked of her.
Anna could hear Melody babble over the monitor and smiled in wonder. What would her life be like without her baby girl? She couldn’t bear the thought. Thankfulness flooded through her being. God had worked all for good, even her failure, with the added gift of Matt’s love for the both of them. This blessing was way beyond what she ever expected to enjoy, especially after the way she had pushed him out of her life. All she had to do now was rise above their obvious differences and trust in this same incredible God who would not lead her astray.
Like a demon sitting on her shoulder with a bucket of ice water to douse the inner fire of faith the instant hope sparked, negative thoughts poured in.
What about when you married Steven … look where love and trust in a good God got you there.
Anna brushed off the frustration and busied herself with a shower but couldn’t wash away that nagging question. Where she wanted to focus on Christmas and all things bright and beautiful, instead she wrestled with darkness.
Why did Stev
en have to get sick and suffer for so long? Why the emotional roller coaster of sickness and remission? If I open my heart to love again, will this or something equally as devastating happen? A kaleidoscope of negative thoughts twisted and warped their way inside her head.
With Melody still happily in her crib, Anna took the time to kneel by her bed and pray.
“God, you hear my scattered thoughts. Just when I decide to move forward, doubt and questions pour in. I know what I’m really asking. It’s that age-old question of why life brings suffering and how to avoid it.”
The answer to that question remains a mystery only few discover.
“Will I discover it?”
You already have.
This puzzled Anna even more, so she silenced the barrage of questions and asked for wisdom. Like the light of dawn, darkness had no choice but to flee and give passage to understanding.
Her suffering had purpose. She wouldn’t jump up and down and ask for more pain, but suffering was not to be feared or despised either. The pain had molded her into a kinder, more loving person, and had created a depth in her relationship with Christ she wouldn’t otherwise know.
The one thing she now trusted without question was that God would never leave nor forsake her. He would help her find her way through. He had sent real people who cared to be his hands, who had gifted her with mercy, wisdom, and love. Each piece of the puzzle whether painful or joyful had a story, a color, a needed texture.
She had nothing to fear in walking into a relationship with Matt. All her feeble excuses melted in the fire of this truth. Trust in God beckoned, and all she had to do was answer that call.
She told the enemy of her soul that he could take his fear and twisted attack and move on out. Then she rose from her knees in confidence and headed to Melody’s room.
Melody cooed sweetly and gave a dreamy smile. She stretched a tiny fist heavenward and opened her mouth in an adorable yawn.
“You’re such a joy,” Anna said nuzzling the soft baby curls. “Such a joy, indeed. Your daddy named you perfectly, didn’t he?” Melody gurgled in delight.
Anna was anxious to get out the door and be on her way to Matt’s, though the mere thought of his house had her wishing she’d been able to convince him otherwise.
She buckled Melody into her car seat as she squirmed in protest. “Yes, sweet pea, you need to be buckled in, like it or not.”
Anna eased out of the driveway. A fresh blanket of snow caused the tires to slip and slide each time she applied the brake. She worried about the trip up the side of the mountain to Matt’s and began to pray for safety. She had barely made it one block going at a snail’s pace when she spotted Matt’s vehicle coming the other direction and slowed to a stop.
“How are my two favorite girls today?”
Anna couldn’t help but smile at his cheery disposition.
“The roads are not plowed or sanded up my way. I tried to call, but there was no answer.”
“Oh, sorry, I must’ve been in the shower, and you know how bad I am with my cell. I forgot to plug it in last night.”
“No worries. I’m your chauffer today so turn that car around, and I’ll pick you up at your house.”
He was out of his car and waiting. Before she could fully park the car in the garage, he had the back door open and little Melody in his arms. He opened her door like a gentleman and waited for her to get out. As she stood, he kissed her smack dab on the lips. “Merry Christmas, darling,” he said, and chuckled at her obvious surprise.
That one kiss sent fire coursing through her veins and muddled her brain. She was going to suggest they stay at her house but couldn’t think straight.
He didn’t skip a beat. He buckled Melody in her car seat with major protests this time and hurried around to open her door. “I have the seat warmer on for you,” he whispered in her ear, tickling her hair with his breath. His hand felt warm and sensuous as it lingered just a tad too long on the small of her back as he guided her in.
Matt proceeded to chat all the way to his house. He was in high spirits, which only heightened her excitement for the day.
He pulled into the drive instead of the garage, which puzzled Anna. “Don’t you want to put these fancy wheels in your garage?” she asked. “The snow is starting to fall again.”
“No, it’s fine,” he waved nonchalantly. “Come, let’s get breakfast on, I’m starving.”
With Melody tucked safely on one arm and the diaper bag hanging from the other, he handed her the house keys and asked her to unlock the front door.
Anna swung the door wide. Her eyes bulged at the huge Christmas tree filling the two-story entrance. Melody gurgled and lurched for the shiny bulbs that sparkled before her.
“Whoa there, little one, be careful,” Matt chided as he held on tighter.
Anna whirled around in delight. “Why, Matt, what a gorgeous tree. Oh, and look at the stairs … the banister … it’s all so beautiful.
“How—” her words trailed off as her mind began to compute the change in wall color and what lay beyond the tree. The entrance turned out to be merely the appetizer. Room after room she oohed and awed, mesmerized by the transformation. Somehow his large, rambling, ice castle had morphed into a home. She couldn’t believe her eyes.
“Matt,” she said, throwing up her arms. “This is fantastic. To be honest, I dreaded the thought of celebrating Christmas here—”
“I know, Anna. My house didn’t thrill me much either.”
She grabbed his arm in excitement and squeezed both Melody and him in a quick hug. A quick whirl showed her delight. “What a treat!”
She stopped dead when she spotted a photo she’d never seen before. There above his fireplace was a huge picture of her rocking Melody. Her long hair flipped to one side cascaded down the left side of the picture. Matt had taken the photo without her knowledge and caught a tender moment where she had brushed her mouth against the silky top of Melody’s sleeping head.
“It’s my favorite,” he admitted.
She was moved beyond words. “Oh, Matt, it’s all beyond incredible.”
“The minute you said you would come for Christmas, I set this in motion.”
“But … but how?” Shock flooded her face at the sheer magnitude of the job and the money spent.
“I knew you hated the house, and for that matter so did I. Long story short, your place felt more like home to me than mine did. I hired an interior decorator to decorate for Christmas, and well, it morphed into a home makeover. Do you like it?”
“Like it, Matt? What’s not to like?”
Melody squirmed in Matt’s arms and arched her back in a message to be put down. Her latest achievement was to roll around, and she loved being free to do just that. He laid her on his new Persian rug.
Anna grimaced. “Grab the play-pen, Matt, she could spit up.”
He laughed at her concern but set it up anyway.
“Okay, now I feel better,” Anna said. “That rug looks pricey.”
“Really, Anna? A little bit of mess from Melody is the least of my problems, you’re a far bigger one.” He laughed and threw one of Melody’s teddy bears at her.
She caught it and threw it back. “Oh, really Matthew, you think I’m a problem?” She moved closer. “Then why go through all this work just to impress me?”
“Yeah, well don’t let it go to your pretty little head, or I’ll have to—”
She grabbed him. “Or you’ll have to do what?” And kissed him full on the mouth before pulling away and laughed at his shocked expression.
“What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Just getting you back for this morning.”
He went to grab her, but she squealed and lit out in a run. He easily caught her and in one swift movement had her locked in his arms up against the wall. “Whatcha going to do now?” he challenge
d.
He brushed an errant curl from her face before his hands slowly slipped the elastic band from her hair and pulled it free. He dropped a kiss on her brow and slid his fingers gently through her hair.
She instinctively pressed closer, trembling at the intoxication of his nearness.
“Whoa, Nellie,” he joked. “You’d better turn this stallion in a different direction or there’ll be real trouble.”
“So, you’re a stallion now?” she teased. She could feel the crazy clip clop of his heart beat against her fingertips.
He laughed and dropped his arms from around her.
Matt worked on brunch while Anna got the turkey in the oven. The babble of Melody and soft strains of Christmas carols in the background covered the awkwardness between them. That surge of desire had them both tongue-tied.
They took pictures of Melody’s first Christmas and shared in helping her unwrap her gifts, but the day felt weighted with unspoken tension. They ignored the undercurrents between them and engaged in small talk about weather patterns and the upcoming election.
Anna had a Christmas gift for Matt but held back hoping he would suggest their exchange. When he said nothing, she assumed he hadn’t thought of a gift for her. The surprise of his beautiful home and all he’d done to make the day special was gift enough, but her gift was far more personal.
Matt jumped up the minute the Christmas meal was finished. He filled the dishwasher and washed the crystal wine glasses. Then, he immediately suggested he get them back in time for Melody’s bedtime. A sad ache twisted in her stomach. She had envisioned time to sit in front of a fire and share her heart, but he seemed distant and eager to get her home.
The bang of the front door slammed shut her hope as he went out to start his car.
She sighed heavenward. “God, what am I supposed to do?” No sooner had the prayer been spoken than the front door opened again. Matt dusted large snowflakes from his coat and hair.
“There’s no way I’m taking the risk of driving you two home tonight. The roads haven’t been plowed or sanded, and it’s snowed way more than I thought. We’ll just have to put Melody to bed here. It’s no big deal, she’s used to her room.”
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