“I’ll grab Melody and we can drive up the hill toward your place where we’ll be able to see the show.” She didn’t wait for his reply.
As if nothing brewed between them, Anna had Melody in her car seat and jumped in beside him. A comfortable silence filled the car other than the occasional coo from Melody. The rainbow intensified in color and brilliance and Matt stopped along the side of the road as soon as they had a view of the city. Anna jumped out to snap a few photos and waved at Matt. “Bring Melody.”
She motioned to him to stand with Melody against the backdrop of the rainbow filled sky and snapped a photo with Melody’s chubby hand pointed heavenward and Matt smiling down at her.
She brought the cell over and showed him. “Daddy and his Melody.”
He smiled but still did not say a word.
“Shall we continue to your place?”
He nodded.
With Melody settled quietly in the playpen just inside the French doors where Anna could keep an eye on her, she made her way out to the deck. She stood by the rail and gazed over the valley below. Matt came up beside her. Shadows lengthened and gave way to evening light. Clouds splashed with colors of red, orange and purple burnished the ever-darkening sky.
“It’s so beautiful,” she said.
“Yes, most beautiful.”
She looked sideways to find him staring at her rather than the sunset. Their eyes locked and his gaze crackled with heat.
Silence hung in the balance, but Anna could feel currents move frenetically between them. Undertows. Riptides. Dangerous forces that could so easily sweep them up in a sea of emotion hovered within her reach.
Matt suddenly hauled her up against him. In a desperate kiss, hunger fed hunger. Pent up emotions exploded between them. A heat thrummed through Anna’s limbs as breathing roughened and their bodies pressed closer yet. Matt dug his fingers into her hair and kissed a line from her throat, to her earlobe.
“Anna, what have you done to me?” he groaned against her lips before he claimed them yet again.
A ripple of delight ran up her spine, and a warm knot settled in her stomach. He loves me, of that I’m sure, but how does Tamara fit into the picture?
Nothing made sense. When he was touching her like he was, she couldn’t think.
His mouth left hers with a deliberate slowness as he pulled her head to rest on his chest. She heard the buck of his heart against her ear as he gently rubbed his hands up and down her spine. A delicious but dangerous electricity danced between them.
His thumb slid up her jaw to brush lightly over her lips before he touched hers with the lightest of kisses. An aching gentleness replaced the previous fervor.
When he stepped out of her reach, she felt undone like she was part of him, the way salt is part of the sea. She longed to draw him back into her embrace and never let go. Her emotions vacillated wildly. One moment she was in heaven and the next, she was stone-cold terrified. He had the power in which to hurt her like none other.
“Matt?”
“Give me a moment,” he said, as he turned and walked indoors.
Anna followed Matt back inside and scooped up Melody from the playpen. She grabbed the diaper bag and pulled out a jar of baby food. Melody gurgled in delight. She stretched out dimpled hands determined to help herself.
Anna busied herself feeding the baby while Matt sat silently on the kitchen barstool gazing into thin air. She decided to wait for him to speak.
Matt stood and began pacing. “I can’t tell you how difficult these past few weeks have been. I’ve had every emotion in the book, from wanting to kiss you into submission, to wanting to hurt you like you’ve hurt me.
“Matt, I—”
“Please, let me finish.”
Anna nodded.
“Disillusionment and disappointment don’t sum it up. Desperation comes close … and anger—oh, man!” He shook his head in disbelief. “I possessed anger I never thought I was capable of. The fact you didn’t trust me enough to allow an explanation crushed me. The one thing I thought came easy besides our obvious attraction for each other is the fact we were best friends and could talk about anything. What happened there?”
Anna looked away as guilt flooded in. “I was angry and hurt too,” she admitted.
She filled another scoop of food for Melody and tried to feed her. Melody decided it was playtime and grabbed the spoon. She sent it flying with a giggle.
Matt jumped to the rescue and pulled the sticky Melody from the highchair. He grabbed the kitchen cloth to wipe her down and offered, “How about we see if Lorena can watch this monkey, and we’ll go for supper? I think neutral ground where I don’t feel like making love to you on the spot may be more conducive to conversation.” Matt’s eyes held a familiar twinkle.
Hope, albeit small, trickled across Anna’s soul like a stream in a drought. The words of the Lord echoed in her mind. Do not let your heart be troubled, trust in me.
She offered him a shaky smile and nodded her head in agreement. “Sure.”
“Hey, do you want to try that new steak house, Toberta’s” Matt asked, as they wheeled away from her sister’s house?
Anna couldn’t believe her ears. He was really going to take her to the same place he had just taken Tamara?
“Not a chance!” Her words sounded clipped and uptight even to her ears.
“Why do you answer like that?” Matt asked. “No problem if you don’t want steak, there’s Italian too—”
“Tamara told me you took her to dinner there.”
“I see you bought into everything she said, but you’ll have to believe me when I say, I didn’t take her to Toberta’s. I’ve heard the restaurant is great, but I’ve never been there.”
Anna’s stomach dropped like she was on a flight with severe turbulence. What other lies had Tamara told her?
“In fact, Anna, we’re going to go there, because I know the owner and you can ask him to order up what I had last time, just to see his reaction. I’ll stay with you the whole time to remove any doubt of me having a conversation with him ahead of time.” He fished in his pocket, pulled out his phone and lobbed it into her lap. “You can have that, too, just so there’s no question in your mind about me texting him, because obviously you don’t trust me.”
Anna could feel the heat rush to her cheeks at the sting of that truth. “Matt, I’m sorry … we don’t have to go to that restaurant.”
“Yes, Anna, I think we do, because if nothing else, I need you to trust the rest of what I have to tell you.” A muscle in his jaw clenched.
An uncomfortable tension permeated the silence that filled the car. Anna was relieved to see the restaurant straight ahead.
A skip of hope leaped within her when Matt parked the car and turned to her and said, “Come, my lovely. This conversation is long overdue.” A warm smile kicked his dimple into full glory and eased the palpable strain between them. He hopped out and was around to her side before she could gather her purse and slip his phone into the side pocket.
He opened the door with chivalry and extended his arm to help her out. He pushed the door closed, hit the lock button, and pivoted in the direction of the restaurant without letting go of her arm. His hand slid intimately down her forearm to clasp her hand in his. A spike of sensation ran up Anna’s arm at the mere touch.
They were barely through the door when a large man caught sight of Matt and came running. He swallowed them both in a giant bear hug. His beefy arms held tight. When he pulled back, he dramatically bowed as if greeting royalty. “Welcome.”
Matt smiled. “Tony—”
“Ahh, Matt, I see you finally made it to our new restaurant and brought your lovely lady with you.” He turned directly to Anna, “Roberta and I have been badgering him to take an evening off work and bring you along.”
He stood back with careful appraisa
l and inspected Anna like she was one of his scrumptious desserts. “Matt, I see your wait paid off,” he said, as he slapped him on the back. “You held out all these years for the cream of the crop, the icing on the cake, and for that cherry on top—you got it all.” With a hearty laugh, his voice boomed throughout the restaurant.
Anna smiled, as he cracked up at his own brand of clever.
“How can you tell I love food?” He rubbed his well-pronounced girth with one hand and raised his fingertips to his lips with the other. He smacked out a loud kiss before his hand flew into the air. “Ahh … but the culinary arts, that glorious creation of exquisite dishes is truly my love—second love, of course.”
Matt shook his head. “Anna, this is the owner, Tony. He has a flare for the dramatics, but I put up with him because he has the best food in town.” Matt laughed as Tony’s eyes bulged in feigned offense at the teasing.
“Tony and his wife, Roberta, have had an Italian restaurant for years, but this is their newest venture—Tony’s love for steak and Roberta’s love for everything Italian—hence, the name Toberta’s.”
“Yeah, I only get two letters, and she has the rest.” Tony’s chubby jowls jiggled as his head bounced up and down in amusement, and his eyes twinkled with laughter. “Notice I said food is my second love. Roberta reminds me daily that she’s my first, and I dare not disagree.”
He threw his arm around Matt’s shoulder and chuckled. “Soon you’ll understand, young man.
“Now are you going to properly introduce me to this lovely woman or not?”
Matt rolled his eyes. “Well, if I could get a word in edgewise. Tony, this is my fiancée, Anna.”
Anna’s heart leaped at the declaration. In Matt’s mind, they were still engaged. The thought brought a smile to her soul.
Anna reached out to extend a handshake. Tony bowed gallantly and raised her fingers to lightly plant a kiss on the back of her hand.
“Tony, are you flirting with the pretty girls again?” A short, round woman with beautiful chocolate brown eyes far too large for her face came into view.
“Roberta darling,” he placed an arm affectionately around her shoulders and drew her close. “There is no other as lovely as you, but come meet Matt’s fiancée, Anna.”
Roberta squealed in delight, and the next thing Anna knew she was engulfed in a warm hug.
With a snap of her fingers, Roberta had the head maître d’ at her side. “That table with the view in the corner?”
“Reserved,” he said.
“Un-reserve it,” she said, “and bring me a bottle of our best Cabernet Sauvignon, please.”
The maître d’ moved swiftly away.
“Come, you love birds, we’ve just the spot for a romantic dinner.”
As if they were dignitaries, Anna and Matt were ushered into a secluded corner table that faced the lake. Roberta clucked and fussed until they were nicely settled with menus in hand, water in their glasses, the candle on the table lit and glowing romantically. She waved to a nearby bus boy who intuitively knew what that meant. A hot basket of fresh bread and flavored butters were placed on the table without a word being spoken.
“Now, we’ll leave you two to enjoy.” She giggled like a schoolgirl with a starry look in her eyes. “Ahh, I still remember the days when Tony and I were engaged. You sure don’t need my company or anyone’s for that matter.” She bustled off with a wave and a smile.
If only she knew, Anna thought. She turned toward the view. City lights shimmered off the lake and wisps of clouds scuttled across a full moon. She snuck a peek across the table at Matt. He, too, silently drank in the beauty. She assumed he felt the same as she did, neither of them wanted to ruin a perfect setting with difficult dialogue.
Anna felt Matt’s hand cover hers and her heart skipped a beat. The warmth of his thumb rhythmically traced a pattern back and forth on the inside of her wrist.
“I see you’re still wearing your engagement ring.”
Anna nodded. “No questions that way.”
His face dropped. A crestfallen look entered his eyes and he pulled his hand away. “Is that the only reason?”
“No, Matt.” She quickly admitted, “I thought we should talk, or better yet, I thought I should listen before breaking up with my best friend.”
Anna looked down at her ring and fiddled with it, unable to make eye contact.
“Matt, I can tell by the fact both Tony and Roberta were overjoyed to finally see you in their new restaurant that you haven’t been here before, and I know I didn’t handle that evening well. For that, I’m truly sorry. But there’s so much that doesn’t make sense. And when you hid the fact you were meeting Tamara, and then she called to spew her poison, I was ripe for the picking. Why would you keep that from me? And why were you seeing her?” Anna blinked back the bite of tears that threatened to surface.
Matt cleared his throat, as if to swallow a large lump. “Anna, I’m the one who should be sorry. I should’ve told you about Tamara long ago, the history and the current situation. I thought I could handle the problem without it getting out of hand.”
“What problem?”
“That day in the park when I shared my history, I wanted to tell you about Tamara, but you made it too easy for me. You said that you forgave my past and didn’t need to know more. At the time, that suited me fine.” His iridescent blue eyes darkened with a troubled look.
“But, Anna, it’s not fine, and I need to tell you.”
She nodded, resisting the urge to look away. There was something about his intensity that made it important to face this head on.
“I’m not proud of the fact that in the past I used Tamara for the physical. More accurately, you could say we used each other. Now with my biblical understanding of how precious the gift of marriage and physical union is, I wish I could go back and change that decision, but I can’t.”
Anna felt a twist in her gut. The thought of them together made the green goblin of envy bubble and stew.
Anna dared not waste the opportunity. She didn’t want unanswered questions causing suspicion and mistrust any longer. “Then, back to the same question I asked you before—how far back is the past to you? And why are you currently seeing Tamara?”
Matt slumped back in his chair and shifted his eyes away. “This is where it gets complicated.”
Anna’s heart dropped to the basement of her soul. She took a long pull of air into her lungs and breathed out slowly. It took all she had to remain calm and collected in order to encourage the truth. “Go on.”
Matt fidgeted in his chair. “We’d better order first.” He waived the waiter over.
They made their selections, and Anna smiled after the waiter left. “One last moment of reprieve seems to be just what the doctor ordered.”
“Yes, I needed that.” Matt smiled a watery smile. “Another moment to figure out how to tell you something I’m not proud of.”
Anna blinked twice in an effort to hold back the sting of tears just below the surface.
“Anna, I truly fell in love with you that first night we were together. In my past, I’d been with Tamara and other women, and yet I’d never felt any of what you stirred in my heart, my soul—” His voice cracked, and she could see him swallow hard.
She reached across the table to momentarily squeeze his hand.
“Man, this is difficult.” He exhaled deeply and raked both his hands through his hair. “After our first night together, and then the fact you wouldn’t see me, I truly thought our relationship was over before it began. Tamara came knocking, and I weakened. That night, I felt the shame and the weight of my sinfulness like never before. You know the part of every person that nags at them—that knowledge of right from wrong before they’re even a Christian?”
Anna nodded.
“Well, that ate me up inside. My conscience demanded an answe
r. How could I love you and yet be with someone else? The hypocrisy disgusted me.
“I remember getting up from the bed and immediately taking a hot shower, as if to wash off the guilt, which didn’t work. Then, I asked Tamara to leave and told her we could remain friends, but the physical was done.
“She interrupted and smirked, confident enough to declare that we were a forever thing and I would never get her out of my blood. I admitted that I already had and that I’d fallen in love—real love—for the first time in my life. I apologized for our evening and admitted that sex without love pales in comparison, which really irritated her. Then I told her there would never be a repeat. And there hasn’t been, Anna. I swear I haven’t been with her since. But—”
Anna held his gaze. “But what?”
“But I should’ve paid more attention to her obsessive behavior. She was livid. Told me she hadn’t waited all these years just to let me go and pointed out how I loved someone else but spent the night with her. Then she said to go ahead and dabble with love until I got bored and in the meantime, she’d be quite willing to share.”
Anna gasped, “That’s what she said to me both times—at our engagement party and when she recently called.”
Matt turned white. “She talked to you about this at our engagement party?”
“Yes, but I asked you point-blank about your relationship with her, and you told me there was nothing current. I believed you. I didn’t feel I had to go into the sordid details of her tirade, nor dig into your past.”
“Anna, I’m so sorry. That last night I spent with her haunted me. The fact I could clearly love you and yet appease the physical made me realize the depth of my human darkness.
“Once I became a believer, I told Tamara I was a Christian. She laughed at me and kept sending me texts asking me if I was bored to death with my church mouse yet. She clearly didn’t believe a word I said. And although she kept trying, I never looked back, Anna, no matter what lies she told you.”
He reached forward and took both her hands in his. “I know I’m forgiven by God, but I have to ask … Anna, will you forgive me?”
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