“Why would that bother you?”
She was fucking with me.
“You know why.”
I moved in closer to her so that she could feel my words on her face when I spoke. “Why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday?”
“I figured you’d be away anyway, so I just never mentioned it.” Her admission filled me with regret. Nina clearly felt that she was playing second fiddle to something.
“I would never miss your birthday. Never. You underestimated how important you are to me, Nina.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You should have told me. Tarah called me Friday when I was already in Boston, so I decided to surprise you tonight.”
“You’re sneaky.”
“You’re fucking gorgeous.”
I shut my eyes, feeling my composure slipping away. I needed to get her out of here as fast as possible and get the talk over with. Birthday or not, we couldn’t go on this way any longer. Seeing her tonight had changed my ability to even wait the twenty-four hours.
“Thank you. You’re not so bad yourself,” she said. Then, she placed her small fingers on the bottom of my shirt and pulled lightly at the material, causing my dick to harden.
I cleared my throat. “Tarah explained to me about what’s his name in there. She didn’t know he was going to be here when she invited me. She told me Ryan ambushed you.”
“What if I were on a date?”
She wouldn’t have wanted to hear the true answer to that question because it would have made me sound like a nut.
“I guess if he made you happy, I’d be okay with it.”
“I see.”
“That was a lie.”
“Oh.”
“I wouldn’t be okay with it. Fuck…I missed you.” My hand landed on her tiny waist. When I squeezed it, she closed her eyes instantly as if I’d hit a magic spot. Our first kiss wasn’t going to be in this dingy hallway. Still, the need to have my mouth on her was uncontrollable, so I grabbed her hand and kissed it hard.
“I missed you, too,” she said.
“Go on a date with me.”
“What?”
“Spend the rest of your birthday with me tonight. Let’s get out of here right now, go somewhere, anywhere. I just want to be alone with you. I can’t say what I want…do what I want…in this hallway.”
We devised a plan to make up an excuse and leave. She just needed to use the bathroom first. So, I returned to the table and waited.
Mr. Cunt was busy chatting about work with Ryan. I winked at Tarah and nodded to silently let her know that Nina and I were moving forward with her suggestion that we leave the dinner party.
My stomach was in knots as I used the time that Nina was in the bathroom to plan out the next couple of hours. We’d go to an intimate restaurant for a private dinner. I’d let her in on the secret that today was my birthday, too. We’d return to the apartment, and I would lay everything on the line tonight, hoping and praying that she accepted it.
Never more nervous about anything in my entire life, I grabbed Nina’s wine and downed the rest of it. She wouldn’t have time to finish it anyway, since my plan was to whisk her away the second she came out of the bathroom. I was going to leave first, call her on her cell pretending to be a family member with an emergency, and then she’d follow soon after. We might have left together, but that would have made things obvious, and Ryan really didn’t need to know our business.
My phone vibrated. It was a text from Nina.
You fucked Desiree???
I stood up, staring down at the phone as my heart nearly exploded out of my chest. My stomach churned. What was happening?
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
When I looked up, Nina was squeezing through cramped tables with mascara running down her cheeks.
My call was urgent, “Nina!”
She wouldn’t look at me as she made her way toward the exit. Desiree was watching the whole thing unfold with her arms crossed. It felt like a vein was going to pop out of my neck as I turned to her and screamed, “What the fuck did you say to her?”
She shrugged her shoulders with a smug look on her face.
Fucking whore.
Needing to get to Nina, I didn’t even bother to push Desiree for a response. The loud thud of a chair falling caused heads to turn as I knocked into things while running out of the restaurant.
Snowflakes tauntingly danced around my face in the air outside. Mrs. Ballsworthy was in the window.
I held up my hands. “Not tonight, Balls. Fucking not tonight.”
I didn’t need to be told to fuck myself right now because I was already royally fucked.
CHAPTER 18
Past
Panting as I skipped over steps to get upstairs as fast as possible, I stopped briefly in front of our apartment door to grab my bearings. My gut told me that nothing was ever going to be the same after I walked in there. And now with this major hiccup, there would be another hurdle to get through before telling Nina about Ivy.
I burst through the door.
Nina was standing in front of me holding a duffel bag. My chest tightened in agony at the vision of her walking out on me. She would leave tonight over my dead body. If either one of us was going to disappear, it was going to be me.
“Nina, please…talk to me. Please.”
She placed the large bag in front of her chest. “Stay away from me. I have nothing…nothing…to say to you.”
My heart fell to my stomach upon seeing her use the bag as a shield to protect against me. The best course of action was to keep my distance, but there was no fucking way I was going to let her run away. Trying to catch my breath, I stood right in front of the door to prevent her from leaving.
Her hair was disheveled, but she still looked so amazingly beautiful. The blue of her irises was even more striking in contrast to the raccoon eyes caused by her bleeding eye makeup.
“You have to let me explain.”
“Explain! You want me to stand here and listen to you explain how you fucked that whore so easily while you put my feelings through the wringer for months, confusing me and sending me mixed messages? You had no problem ‘making her come until she screamed’…did you? And believe me, it was a doozy. I heard it for myself.”
I blinked repeatedly trying to comprehend it. At first, the words hadn’t sunk in.
I heard it for myself.
“Fuck…what? What are you talking about?”
“That’s right. The day I moved in. You were fucking her in your room. Remember that day? Well, I was here unpacking. I thought I was alone and didn’t realize what was going on until it was too late. I heard everything, Jake…everything.” She started to cry.
Flashbacks from the day that Nina moved in played out in my head like a movie on fast forward. Earlier that afternoon marked the final time Desiree and I were together.
The pink scarf on the floor in the living room.
Fuck.
Nina was there.
It felt like I was going to throw up. All this time, she was hanging onto that, probably wondering how the fuck I could be with someone else intimately and not her after all these months. Desiree must have spitefully confronted her in the bathroom, and now, Nina had a face to go along with that memory. It boggled my mind to imagine what it would feel like if the situation were reversed, if I had to endure hearing Nina fucking someone else.
My heart was breaking.
“Oh my God.” Walking toward her with pleading eyes, I said, “I am so sorry.”
She wouldn’t relent. “If you’ll excuse me, please get out of my way. I need to find somewhere else to stay tonight.”
“You’re not going anywhere. Not until you hear me out.”
“I told you. I have nothing to say to you.”
I placed my hands on her arms that were covered in goosebumps. “I’ll leave tonight, but I’m not going anywhere until you let me explain. Do you hear me?” I took my hand
to her chin and turned her face toward me. “Look at me.” She kept her eyes pointed downward. I repeated, “Look…at me.”
Never more determined to get a message across, my stare burned into hers until I was sure I owned her full attention.
I tried my best to explain the situation with Desiree, how it was just sex, nothing more. She didn’t really seem to be understanding me. When Nina called me a whore, I nearly lost it.
Her bag landed on the floor in a loud thud after I threw it violently on the ground. Taking her hand, I forced her down the hall.
Once in her room, I backed her against the wall and tried once again to get it through her head how big of a mistake Desiree was. I told Nina that my heart hadn’t beat the same since the day she moved into the apartment. The next minute or so was a blur as feelings held captive in my heart for months just poured out of me. Eventually, her expression began to soften. My nerves became more shot with each second because I knew I was about to tell her everything.
“You’re the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about at night. And then, you invade my thoughts and dreams in between. I have tried so hard to stop these feelings. I’ve put up as many barriers as I could stand to, but they are crumbling down. I can’t do it anymore.” Burying my face in her neck, I spoke onto her skin, “I can’t do it anymore…I can’t do it anymore.” I placed my hands on her hips and covered her mouth with mine. “I’ve come undone.”
Unleashing those three words had set me off. It was like a final button had been pushed. Grabbing her face, I moaned into her mouth as I kissed her deeply with everything in me. The first recognition of her taste made me immediately addicted, needing to not only taste her mouth but every inch of her. Wanting to kiss her deeper, I urged her mouth open as my tongue lashed at hers repeatedly. It wasn’t enough. As the kiss became more intense, it was impossible to keep my hands off her body. Her dress ripped as I frantically pulled at the material at her sides.
When Nina grabbed my hair, a groan so deep from the back of my throat vibrated into her mouth. My dick was so excruciatingly hard that when she started to rub up against me, it became necessary to push back before I came. It was that bad.
Panting, I placed my hands on her cheeks. “I need to tell you something, Nina. We need to have that talk now.”
A look of pure terror washed over her face as several seconds of tense silence passed.
“I don’t care about your past or what’s going on in Boston. Please…I’m begging you. Let’s not do this now. Don’t say anything tonight. We’ll have the talk tomorrow like we were supposed to. What I need right now more than I have ever needed anything is for you to make love to me, Jake.”
My hands shook as they remained cupped around her face. The temptation of taking her up on that offer was simply too strong to resist.
Don’t say anything.
Make love to me.
It felt like I might die if I couldn’t have her, if I couldn’t grant her wishes.
“You have no idea how badly I need to be inside of you right now.”
“Please…I don’t want to have the talk tonight, okay?”
Getting that taste of her had weakened all of my inhibitions, turning me into a virile beast. In that moment, I could resist Nina no more than a druggie could resist a vial of heroine hanging over his nose.
Wrong or right ceased to exist as I stood before her blinded by an uncontrollable need. I knew I was giving in, because the risk of never having this opportunity again was a significant one, especially after the way she reacted about Desiree. Selfishly, I convinced myself that if given the chance to own her body tonight, I could wreck her for anyone else, make her mine and increase the likelihood that she wouldn’t be able to leave me.
I’d made the decision to take what I needed. Knowing already what the answer would be, I made her a proposition to at least help ease my conscience. “Nina, either we have this talk now, or you are going to have to make me a blind promise.”
“Okay…”
She was scared. When a teardrop fell down her cheek, I placed my tongue along her skin, licking it away as I whispered against her face, “I need you to promise me…that you won’t leave me.”
She silently and repeatedly nodded against my forehead.
“Make sure you mean that. Because I can’t make love to you the way I want to tonight, only to lose you the next day. It will fucking destroy me. I need to know you’ll be mine no matter what I throw at you. Promise me.”
“I’m yours. I have never belonged to anyone before…but I know that I belong to you.”
“Look at me and say it.”
“I’m yours. There is nothing that could make me leave you, because I don’t think I could live without you.”
That was all I needed to hear. Those words meant more to me than anything, and I prayed that she was telling the truth. I searched her eyes for any hints of hesitation; there were none. It didn’t take much convincing for my weakened mind and body to agree that it was okay to trust her, okay to give in. Pulling her into me, I knew that this time I wasn’t letting go. “Well, that’s good, because I wasn’t living before you.”
I stayed holding her, letting the heat of her body evaporate all remnants of doubt within me.
The words that came out of her next confirmed there was no going back.
“I need you to fuck me, Jake.”
***
We’d started off slow and steady. I’d undressed her down to her underwear, and we just explored each other’s mouths for a while. She kept tugging at my lip ring with her teeth while her bare tits rubbed against my shirt. It was driving me insane, and it wasn’t long before I’d lose the ability to go easy on her.
She whimpered as I lowered my mouth onto her nipple and sucked hard before switching over to the other side.
“Does that hurt?”
“No…feels good.”
I sucked harder, unable to fully believe she’d given me free reign of the beautiful rack I’d spent months worshipping from afar. Her skin was soft, and sweet, and I couldn’t wait to mark every inch of her body.
As I continued feasting on her, she placed her hand on my dick, which was bursting through my jeans. She sighed when she got a load of how hard I was.
I clamped down on her nipple gently with my teeth and released it. “Now you know what you do to me. I want to feel what I do to you.”
Nudging at her underwear, I slipped my finger inside of her warm opening. She was so incredibly wet that I could hear it as I moved in and out of her repeatedly for minutes. At one point, her pussy was starting to convulse around my hand, so I pulled out before she could come. Unable to resist, I slowly licked every drop of her off of my fingers and moaned, savoring the sweet and salty taste.
“You taste better than I could have imagined.”
“I almost came,” she said.
“I know. I almost lost it myself because I love how turned on you are. That’s why I stopped. But that’s not how I want your first time with me to happen. And believe me, Nina, this is gonna be your real first time.”
According to Nina, she’d never come during sex in her life. Being the first man to make that happen was a challenge I was happy to take on and planned to succeed multiple times tonight. How it was going to happen first was the question.
She needed to lose the panties. I pulled her underwear down and took her in as she stood completely naked before me. A thin landing strip of hair barely covered her beautiful pussy. My beautiful pussy now. My mouth watered with a need to devour it. So, I decided that I’d bring her to orgasm with my mouth first.
Feeling like the luckiest man on Earth, I grabbed her face and pulled her into a passionate kiss.
“You’re the most beautiful woman in the entire world.”
“I want to see you naked too,” she said.
I smiled over her mouth and in a low and seductive voice said, “Undress me. I’m yours.”
I watched as her tiny
fingers worked to undo the buttons of my shirt. She kissed and ran her tongue slowly over the rippling muscles of my chest and abs as if she were worshipping me. She traced lines over my tats with her tongue. My heart was beating a mile a minute from the intensity of feeling her mouth on my body for the first time.
My dick twitched in anticipation as she undid my jeans. When she tried to take my boxer briefs off, I grabbed her wrist to stop her.
“I think we need to keep these on for a little while.”
“How come?”
“Because I don’t want to lose control and bury myself inside of you before I have the chance to make you come with my mouth. Lay down, beautiful.”
I hovered over her and over the next several minutes worked my mouth slowly down her body from one set of lips down to the other.
“Open your legs wide for me, Nina.”
She seemed hesitant, giving the impression that no one had ever done this to her.
More insistently, I repeated, “Wider.”
I stopped for a few moments to just appreciate the vision of her spread eagle before me. My lips trembled with need as they lowered down onto her. The second the tip of my tongue landed on her pussy, my cock began to painfully throb. My mouth opened and closed over her wet folds, alternating between kissing, licking and sucking her tender clit. Each time the ball of my tongue ring would lap over it, she’d writhe under me, whimpering and kicking her legs.
I’d gone down on women before. The turn on had always been derived from simply knowing that I was giving pleasure to someone else. It was different for me with Nina. Not only was I getting off on pleasuring her, but even more, I couldn’t seem to get enough of her taste, of her heat, of her wet arousal on my tongue. I was consuming her greedily like I was starving and couldn’t stop. I was torn between never wanting her to come so that I could continue on endlessly and wanting so badly to feel her coming on my face.
Jake Understood Page 18