* * *
An hour later, she was dressed and ready for the evening’s festivities, wearing one of her favorite ball gowns of ivory silk and lace. Her hair had been artfully twisted into a complicated coif at her nape and her face appeared the picture of calm tranquility.
Looks were often deceiving. Inside, her stomach rolled and pitched as she carefully tucked Merrick’s square into her sleeve. How was he going to take her confession?
Her hands trembled as she made her way down to the ballroom.
Several guests stopped to stare at her, their fans snapping open as whispers trailed behind her.
Her chin notched higher. Let them talk. She cared not.
But there was one man’s opinion she did care about and as she looked around the room, she found Merrick standing against the wall, next to a potted plant.
If he weren’t a head taller than nearly every other guest, he might look exactly like a wallflower. Was her perfect Merrick hiding in the shadows? How could it be true?
Suppressing a grin, she fought her way through the crowd and finally reached his side. “That’s a lovely fern you’ve stationed yourself next to.”
He smiled back, reaching out a hand to her. “I thought it the best spot to be found by a wallflower.”
She squeezed his fingers, placing a pretend pout on her lips. “How dare you, sir? I am by the wall in silent protest, not because I need to hide.”
He shook his head. “I’ve always known that to be true.”
Her shoulders sagged just a bit. “I know that you do understand that better than anyone.” Drawing in a deep breath. “Which is why I want you to know that I understand it is time for me to change. A little, at least. Become more—”
“We’ve been over this.” He bent his head down. “I like you just the way you are. You don’t need to—”
She held up a finger just in front of his lips. “Wait.” Then she reached into her the sleeve of her dress, pulling the pocket square from inside the folds. “I have a gift for you.”
She handed him the square, pressing it into his palm. He looked down at it for a moment, rubbing the fabric between his thumb and forefinger. “Is this mine?”
“Yes,” she answered, shifting closer.
“You’re giving me my own pocket square as a gift?”
She let out a short, irritated breath. “Unfold it. I’ve embellished it for you.”
He carefully undid the neat folds, revealing her absolutely dreadful stitching. “Did you…” He paused, turning the fabric in his hand. “Did you stitch this?”
“I did,” she answered, her breath coming out in short gasps. She pressed her hands to her stomach, summoning up the courage to say the words that had been lingering at the back of her tongue all day.
“It’s awful,” he said, as one of the stitches came apart in his hand.
Her heart flopped over painfully in her chest. For a moment she forgot her confidence that he’d understand, her resolve to share her feelings. She wanted to hide herself behind the fern. “It is.”
“How long did it take you?”
Her eyes cast to the ground. “All afternoon, I’m afraid.”
“You did this for me?” He reached for her hand, taking her fingers into his own. “I absolutely love it.”
“You do?” Hope eased the crush of her chest and her gaze moved up to his. His warm gaze met hers and suddenly all the words she’d been holding back flooded out of her mouth. “That’s good, Merrick, because I’m ready to change. Ready to be the woman you need. I embroidered this so you would understand that...that…” She swallowed. “That I love you.”
Chapter Fourteen
Merrick stared at Lily in stunned silence.
Love.
The word echoed through him, making his head spin and his lungs hitch. For a moment he feared he’d heard her wrong. Perhaps she’d said I loathe you.
Somehow that seemed far more probable.
But, then again, less deserving of a grand declaration. So perhaps she’d declared her love after all?
“Y-you love me?” he managed, watching her face to see her reaction.
It was the blush in her cheeks and the wariness in her eyes that finally got through to him and convinced him his hearing wasn’t faulty.
She gave a short nod. “I know you don’t feel the same. I know that you only asked me to marry you out of obligation, but I needed you to know the truth before I...before you...er, before we discuss marriage again.”
It came out of her on one long breath of air and when she drew in an inhale, he couldn’t stop himself. He pulled her to him and crushed her in his arms as his lips claimed hers in a kiss that was quick but thorough.
When he lifted his head he saw her blinking up at him dazedly. “But we’re in public.”
He pulled back just enough that they would not scandalize any partygoers who might have taken notice, although they were still half hidden next to this fern. “That is how much I love you, Lily. I don’t care who sees, and I want everyone to know.”
Her eyes widened. “Really? I mean...you are not just saying that because—”
“I would never tell you that I love you unless I meant it.”
“Yes, but perhaps you meant that you love me like a sister or a friend or—”
“Lily, what on earth would have given you the impression that I see you as a friend, let alone a sister?” He clasped her hands in his and held them tight. “I love you, Miss Laura Upton. Sometimes I think perhaps I’ve always loved you. But here at this house party, it became impossibly clear that I cannot live without you. That I do not wish to live without you.”
Her eyes were wide and dazed, her lips parting with surprise. “Oh.”
“Indeed.” He grinned down at her stunned expression, too overcome with happiness to contain himself. All he wanted to do was drag her out of this ballroom and take her somewhere quiet where he could kiss her to his heart’s content.
He reached out to touch her cheek, stroking it gently before dropping his hand with an impatient glare toward the rest of the partygoers with their prying eyes and whispering lips. There was so much he wished to say and he thoroughly resented the fact that the rest of this house party was here to ruin the moment.
But then again, the presence of all these other guests was crucial to the second half of his plan.
He looked down with a grin at the ridiculous, awful bit of sewing she’d done. It was ugly and mangled and...he would treasure it for the rest of his life.
“I cannot believe that you fell in love with me.” He held up the square. “And that you love me enough to do this.”
Her lips quirked up in a smirk. “Yes, well. I hope you treasure it always because that is the beginning and end of my sewing for you.” Her eyes danced with laughter. “Though if we were to have a child, perhaps I could be convinced to try again.”
He grinned down at her as his mind’s eye filled with images of Lily expecting, of Lily holding a babe in her arms, of Lily teaching her daughters to ride wild and free just like she had always done.
He reached out to her and tugged her closer, heedless of the people who passed by. “You do know that I don’t wish for you to change who you are, don’t you? I was frustrated, but—”
She held up a finger to cut him off. “I know. I know you see who I really am and you respect me for it. You let me be myself and—”
“And I love you for it,” he finished for her.
Her cheeks pinked as she smiled. “I understand all that. But I also know that for both our sakes I need to learn to temper my anger and not allow pride to rule my life.” She placed a hand on his chest, over his heart. “I have no doubt that I can be true to myself while also acting with more maturity and thoughtfulness.”
Her words stole his breath and filled his chest with an aching pride. He leaned down and rested his forehead against hers briefly. “Good, because I love your fierce independence, and your strength. In fact, I am counting on the fact that o
ur daughter will inherit both.”
She let out a shocked laugh. “Oh, it’s to be a daughter then, is it? We haven’t even married yet.”
He shrugged. “A daughter. A son. Either or both. I don’t care so long as we grow this family together.”
She nodded quickly, her smile so wide it made her eyes crinkle up at the corners and her eyes were filled with warmth and affection. “Together,” she agreed.
That word said right there by that overgrown fern felt like all the vows he’d ever need.
But society required more...and so did their families.
On cue, the sound of a glass dinging on the far side of the room got the attention of the room at large.
Lily glanced questioningly over toward the hostess who was standing near the musicians on a step so she could be seen. “If I might have your attention,” she called out.
The crowd hushed and Lily turned back to Merrick. “I suppose she’ll be announcing her son’s arrival. Have you heard that he’ll be joining us?”
His smile faded to a smirk. “I had heard that rumor, but I happen to know for a fact that isn’t what she is set to announce.”
Lily blinked. “Then what is she going to announce?”
“Me.” One corner of his mouth hitched up in the sort of wicked smile he hadn’t worn in ages. Not since Lily had left his life and he’d lost his accomplice.
He gave her a wink as he went to move toward their hostess, but Lily grasped his hand. “What do you think you are doing?”
He turned to face her. “I was planning on making a scene, if you must know.”
Her brows drew together in an adorable little frown of confusion. “But you don’t make scenes anymore.”
He leaned in closer so he could talk directly into her ear. “You are not the only one capable of grand gestures, you know.”
She pulled back with a little gasp. “You mean, you planned to—”
“Cause a scandal? Yes.” He knew his grin was triumphant, and he did not care. He’d never in his life felt more certain of himself, of his future, of his heart.
Her grip on his hand tightened and her eyes lit with alarm. “Merrick, you do not have to do this.”
“Perhaps not,” he said with a little shrug. “But I want to.” He moved in closer as the people around them began to stop talking and stare at them. He had a suspicion the hostess was staring at him, too, waiting for him to take over as he’d requested.
“You see, my darling Lily…” He tugged her close, far closer than what was proper. “You are not the only one who has learned a thing or two about compromise this week.” His smile grew at her look of confusion. “You were right about me. I changed too much. I was trying so hard to become the kind of person my family wanted me to be, I lost sight of who I am. Who I want to be.” He leaned down closer. “But being with you, I am reminded. I feel like myself with you. I want to be as brave and fearless as I once was. There is a time for propriety and decorum, but there is also a place for independence and strength. There’s a time to conform to society and then…” He glanced toward the ballroom with a grin. “There’s a time to give them the shock of their lives.”
Lily opened her mouth to respond but her mother’s voice beat her to it. “What on earth is going on over here?”
Her voice was hushed but her glare was fierce as she took in how close they were standing and the way he was holding her daughter’s hands.
“Good evening, Mrs. Upton,” he said mildly.
He watched Lily’s lips clamp together to stifle a laugh.
“You and my daughter are causing a scene.”
“We are not,” he said mildly.
“I beg your pardon—”
“Not yet, at least,” he continued.
Mrs. Upton’s brows arched. “What does that mean?”
He glazed at Lily who looked like she might burst out in inappropriately loud laughter at any moment. “It means that I fully intend to stand before you, Lily, God, and this entire room full of party guests and declare my love for your daughter.”
Mrs. Upton’s mouth opened but no sound came out.
“I, of course, will ask her to marry me…” He cast Lily a sidelong glance. “Again. And this time I suspect I will receive a more satisfying answer.”
Lily nodded quickly. “Yes. Oh yes.”
He laughed. “I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I have not asked you yet.” He tipped his head toward the space in the center of the dance floor that was clearing for him and his announcement. “When I do, it will be in front of everyone, and every last person here will know that the reason I am proposing to Miss Laura Upton is because she stole my heart.”
Lily’s eyes welled with tears and her smile grew wobbly.
He glanced back at a still-shocked Mrs. Upton. “That is, if I still have the approval of Lily’s mother and father.”
Mrs. Upton blinked and then cleared her throat. “Yes. Yes, of course.” She waved a hand toward the dance floor with impatience. “Carry on.”
He winked at Lily and went to leave.
Lily grasped his arm one last time. “You don’t have to do this, not for me. I know the kind of man you are and you are perfect just as you are. You do not have to prove anything.”
“I appreciate you saying that Lily, but this…” He gestured toward the crowd that had turned to watch them. “This is happening.”
He strode toward the center of the room, but not before hearing Lily’s parting shot. “And he calls me stubborn.”
He laughed. Perhaps they were both stubborn. Yet they were both also learning how to compromise. How to meet one another halfway.
But for now, for this one night...he could not wait to cause a stir. Thoughts of his family and their wishes barely entered his consciousness. He would do right by his family to the extent that was possible, but his first concern was for the woman he loved. He wanted nothing more than to keep her happy and safe and make sure she knew how loved she was every second of every day.
His second concern was to find happiness of his own. And having Lily in his life was that happiness.
For the first time in a long time, his priorities were straight…and it was all thanks to one woman.
“Ladies and gentleman, thank you for giving me your time and attention.”
His grin never faltered in the face of the stares and the whispers.
“You may be aware of some rumors that have been swirling about Miss Upton and myself.” He met Lily’s gaze and winked. “They are true. Each and every one of them. I’m sure you heard how she caught my fancy years ago and how I fell out of her good graces. I know my friends have noticed that from the moment I arrived at this party, I could not take my eyes off the bewitchingly lovely young lady with the heart of gold and temper as fiery as her hair.”
Some giggles and chuckles filtered through the crowd as couples exchanged glances and friends whispered in one another’s ears.
“What you may not know is that I asked her to marry me once and she declined.” He took a deep breath and saw Lily bite her lip, her cheeks a pretty pink as every eye in this room flickered between him and her. “She declined because she was not certain my feelings were true, but I am here to tell her...and to tell all of you...just how certain I am that Miss Laura Upton is the woman who ought to be at my side. Always.”
He caught sight of Abigail scowling, of Griff and Daisy watching with hopeful smiles, of Marigold peeking out from behind a fern of her own with a wistful smile.
“There is no one who knows me as well as she, no one who challenges me, or makes me laugh as much as she. There is no one who ever has or ever will rule my heart like she does.”
Gasps rippled through the crowd and more than one young lady sighed.
“So I ask you all to say a prayer for me as I lay my future in her hands once more.” He dropped down to one knee. “Miss Laura Upton—Lily—will you marry me?”
The short silence that followed was heavy with tension before Lily burst in
to a run to cross to him.
He rose just in time to catch her up into his arms.
“Yes,” she said through her tears. “Yes, yes, of course, yes.”
The crowd cheered as he kissed her, swinging her up into his arms where she belonged.
“I cannot believe you did that,” she whispered when she pulled back for air.
“Believe it,” he said with a laugh. “I will make a fool of myself a million times over if it means making you smile.”
“There’s no need for that.” She laughed softly. “You make me happy just by being you.”
His arms wrapped around her tighter. “So it is official then,” he marveled. “You will be my wife. We will be a family.”
She grinned up at him, a familiar glint of mischief in her eyes. “Let’s do this.”
Epilogue
Three months later...
Lily stood next to the carriage, the closed doors of the church making her shift impatiently. What was taking so long?
A veil covered her face and she clutched a bouquet of flowers in her hand.
Marigold softly covered her hand with her own. “You’ve thumped the peonies against your thigh twice. They’ll be mangled before the ceremony if you don’t stop.”
She huffed a small breath, still staring at the doors but she did relax her grip on the poor blooms. “They’ve been in there for hours.”
“Three minutes,” Marigold laughed, rubbing Lily’s arm. “Try to relax.”
“I don’t do that very well,” Lily muttered under her breath.
Daisy laughed from her other side. “Really? I had no idea.”
Lily’s gaze cut to her friend. “Tell me about married life. It will distract me.”
She watched Daisy’s face as her friend’s expression grew dreamy. “It’s wonderful.”
“That is lovely. But I am trying to distract myself so I am going to need you to be more specific.” Her mother and father had disappeared into the church to speak with the man she was about to marry. As if Lily wasn’t impatient enough to be wed, the delay was positively ruining her.
A Lord for Miss Lily: A Wallflower’s Wish Page 11