Now in these circumstances poor Percival might have grown to middle age while still believing himself a boy, had not an evil knight, hearing that this castle was without men and therefore defenseless, come to ravage it. For while it was true that, as Percival’s mother believed, knights did kill others, there is no defense against wicked men (with whom the world is ever rife) except good men who are as formidable. And the greatest delight of an evil man is to find some good person who is without weapons, and then he swoopeth down upon him as the falcon doth upon a coney and teareth at his flesh and devoureth him. Therefore knights who will defend virtue are always necessary on the earth, until we know the peace of Heaven.
And this felon came into the castle and he seized the queen and Percival’s sister and he put them into bonds. And Percival at this time was in the garden, a-sitting on the wall, watching for more knights to pass. But then he heard the cry of his womenfolk, and he went within, and he saw them in their bonds.
And the wicked knight was there, and seeing how Percival was dressed, he believed him a young woman as well, and he said to him, “Well, thou art an ugly wench with a growing mustache and great wide shoulders and no bosom at all, else I should mishandle thee as I shall do these two winsome women.”
And Percival said to him, “I believe that what you would do is not right. Yet you are a knight, and I think that knights serve the good.”
And this wicked knight threw back his head and he laughed uproariously. “Thou great booby,” said he, “there are virtuous knights and there are knights who serve evil. Obviously I am of the latter.”
Now Percival had learned a new thing, and then he commanded the evil knight to untie the bonds of his mother and his sister. And the knight not only refused, but he drew his sword and he said he would slay Percival for having the ugliest body he had ever seen on a maid, and he made a great swipe at him.
But Percival evaded the sword’s edge and he leapt at this evil knight and he lifted him up, armor and all, with his great strength, as he might have lifted one of his sister’s dolls, and then he threw him through the window, and the miscreant fell to the hard ground without, for there was no moat, and his armor burst into many pieces, and in each piece was a member of his body, and therefore he died as a man of parts.
And then Percival freed his womenfolk, and he said to the queen, “Mother, methinks I am old enough now to become a knight.”
“Nay, Percy,” said his mother, “thou art yet a boy and must not leave me.”
“But I am quite as large as the evil knight whom I threw from the window,” said Percival, “and I am as strong as a man.”
“But manhood is not a thing of size,” said his mother. “There are dwarfs who are tiny though being very old. And a child of the giants is already an exceeding large person at the age of five.”
“But, Mother,” said Percival, “even the wicked knight said that I was growing a mustache.”
And his mother called him to her and she looked closely at his upper lip.
“Percy,” said she, “’tis no natural growth of hair on thy lip, but a malady of the skin which is caused by eating peaches that are underripe.” And she took her sewing-scissors and she clipped off every hair.
And Percival was too modest to reveal to her that he had hair elsewhere on his person, his arms and his chest and his secrets, and he now believed that this was due to some similar cause from without, perhaps bathing in warm water, and therefore when next he washed he asked the crones who served him to bring him cold water straight from the well, and further to float in it a cake of the ice which had been saved, and buried in the earth, from the previous winter. But the season was late spring, and little of the ice was left, and therefore the water was not so cold as to freeze off the hair on Percival’s body, and it continued to grow. And had he known of such a thing as a razor he would have shaved himself clean everywhere. And Percival was the most ignorant youth in the world, for he had no father nor brothers to teach him of male things.
Now two years went by and Percival had grown even larger, and unless his mother trimmed his face frequently he had a full silken mustache and a beard, and because her scissors could not work so closely as to make him smooth, she produced a razor and this was the first he had ever seen.
“Well, Mother,” said he, “doth not this beard of mine mean that I am now a man? I had it not when I was a boy.”
“Ah, Percy,” said his mother, “thou hast no more hair on thy face than when thou wert a little child and I shaved thee during the night whilst thou didst sleep, so as not to frighten thee with this razor.”
And Percival believed this, as he always believed everything his mother told him.
And then one day when he and his mother and his sister were seated in the garden, all working at their embroidery, they heard a great roar and looking up they saw the hideous head of a gigantic cockatrice the which was staring at them over the wall through bulging eyes as green as the deep waters of the tarn in which it made its home, and then it flicked its foul tongue at them, the which was long as an horse and covered with foul slime, and when drops of this slime fell onto the wall the stones were melted as if they were wax near a flame. And a great hole was being made in the wall, through which the dread serpent would enter, for to devour them all in a trice, for it was an insatiable monster.
Now the stare of a cockatrice, as is well known, doth paralyze its intended prey, and Percival’s mother and his sister were as if frozen where they sat, but by some natural instinct Percival knew not to look at the foul serpent, and he was not frightened at all. And he went to where a stout sapling grew, and he tore it from its roots, and then going to that part of the garden in which an artful wildness had been arranged in contrast to the formal flower beds, he found a rugged stone and he raised it and he dashed it upon another rock so that it broke into jagged fragments, and one of these, with a sharp point, he fastened to the end of the sapling with laces taken from his dress.
And then he hurled this makeshift spear at the serpent, at whom he was careful not to stare directly, and nevertheless his aim was unerring. And his spear went dead into the left eye of the cockatrice and passing through it clove the evil head in twain, and from the great skull flowed a flood of foul yellow poison, the which splashing onto the earth dissolved an enormous hole in the ground, and the twisting body of the serpent plunged therein, the great scaly tail lashing the sides until they fell in upon it and covered the obscene thing entirely.
And except for the broken wall and some lingering smoke and a great filthy stench, the place was as before. And once the serpent’s eye had been put out, Percival’s mother and his sister were freed from the enchantment.
And the queen now said, “Thou art a good boy, Percy, to have driven off that naughty dog.”
And his sister said, “We thank thee, dear Percy.”
But Percival said, “Mother, methinks that was no dog, for dogs are much smaller.”
“Well then,” said his mother, “a toad, and ’twas a nasty thing which might give thee warts if thou endeavored to pluck the precious jewel from its head.”
“A toad,” said Percival, “is quite smaller yet.” And then he smiled fondly. “Mother, I have a sense that you have been deluding me for some time, to keep me here amongst women exclusively. Nor can I blame you for so doing, for you are a woman, and you would wish to keep a man a boy, so that you would have your child by you forever. But I am grown now, for twice I have protected you and my sister from things which would do you harm. And now I think I must not wait for more evils to come here, but rather as a man to go and seek them out and fight them before they get this far. For I believe that this is a man’s duty, and not womanly to stay at home.”
And his mother knew the time had come when he would leave her, for all she had done to keep him. But she said, “Yea, Percival, and yet for all the brave men in the world who fight for the good, there is no less of evil anywhere.”
“Well,” said Percival, “if ther
e were no evil, then what would become of bravery?”
“This hath a fine sound,” said his mother. “And there is a certain truth in it, but not always is evil so easily to be identified, nor what is bravery, either. And where was the sense of the fight between thy father Pellinore and the noble Gawaine? For they were both good men and brave.”
“Mother,” said Percival, “with all respect, you are a woman, and you can never methinks understand the ways of men, their duties and their obligations.”
“I think I know this,” said his mother the queen. “That one day they will all slay one another, and all that women have done to preserve the world will be so rendered nugatory. But I know that I can not stay thee further, Percival.” And weeping she kissed him and she wished him to go with God, and his sister did the same, and Percival went into the world.
And he walked on foot, for he had no horse, and he had no weapons nor armor, and indeed he was attired as a maiden. And after he had walked some leagues he met a tinker on the road, who drove a cart which was pulled by an ass, and in this cart he carried his tinware. And Percival greeted this fellow courteously, but the tinker abused him.
“Thou art either the hairiest maid I have ever seen,” said he, “or the most vilest effeminate sodomite, and in either case, a pestilence!” And he struck Percival with his whip.
Now Percival was not hurt nor was he angered, and he took the whip away from this fellow with one strong hand whilst with the other he lifted him from his seat on the cart, and he lowered him to the ground.
And this tinker turned pale and he shook with fear, for never had he felt such tremendous strength in any man. And then he begged Percival for mercy, and he said, “My lord, I meant no insult to you. ’Twas but a jest in the poor taste for which we traveling tradesmen are noted. And surely you will not punish me much, for I am old and furthermore I am feeling quite seedy at the moment, owing to a fish I ate lately, the which was putrid,” &tc., &tc.
“I am dressed as a woman,” said Percival, “because I have no other attire. Now look at my robe, which is of fine silken stuff, and this girdle is closed with a fastening of pure gold. And then tell me where I might go to sell it for money with which I might then buy weapons.”
Now the tinker realized that Percival knew nothing of commercial matters and he saw that the costly silk was alone worth more than a fine horse, and there was enough gold in the buckle to purchase an entire armory.
“These things, my lord,” said he, “are worth not much. But because I am your obedient servant I shall accept them in exchange for my donkey. And if you are willing to give me your bracelet as well, you might take my cart as well, and all the tinware in it.”
Now Percival seeing a use for all these things did strike this bargain with the tinker, and therefore he undressed to his smalls and he gave all his clothes and gold jewelry to the fellow, and in return he took what the tinker owned. And when the tinker left him (for to go into town and sell these things), Percival made himself a suit of armor by fastening many pans together, and for an helmet he put a pot upon his head. And then he tore the cart apart, and he used its floor for his shield, and from a stave in its side he fashioned him a sword, lashing another stave across it for an handle. And then from one of the shafts he made himself a lance, the end of which he sharpened on a rock.
And so equipped he mounted the ass, which was so low that Percival’s feet dragged the earth, and he rode in search of knightly adventures.
Now when Percival reached the town some constables had taken in charge the tinker, who they believed had stolen the gold and silken stuffs from some noblewoman, and they took him before a magistrate, who sentenced him to be put upon display in the market square in the stocks by day and to be thrown into a dungeon at night. And to him the magistrate said, “Happy thou art that this is not in the olden time before Arthur came, else thine hands would have been cut off at the wrists!”
And the tinker was already in the stocks when Percival arrived there, and when Percival found out what had happened he said to the constables, “Release this poor fellow at once, for he speaketh the truth. ’Twas from me he got the things and honestly.”
But thinking from Percival’s costume that he was a madman they sought to subdue him with their staffs, and they would not listen to him until he took them together in the crook of his elbow by their throats and they could not breathe. And then they agreed to release the tinker from his punishment.
And thus Percival had righted his first wrong, though it was not in the knightly way he so desired, and then he left the town to continue his quest for adventures.
Now he had not gone many leagues along the road (and so as not to tire his little donkey he had got off and he walked alongside it), when he saw a bright red pavilion standing in a meadow and as he neared it he heard the sound of a damsel’s weeping coming from within. And therefore he went to it and leaving his ass outside he entered the pavilion and there he saw a maiden who was tied with iron chains.
And having no tools about him Percival brake these chains with his hands and he released the damsel.
“Oh, thank thee, dear fool,” said the maiden, who was very beautiful to Percival’s eyes, and he was well qualified in this matter, for his mother and his sister were great beauties.
“But now,” further said the damsel, “thou must run and fetch thy lord, for the wicked knight who holds me captive will soon return, and be assured that he would not be amused by thy motley, unique as it is in its tin construction, and he would visit dire punishment upon thee for loosing my bonds.”
“Well,” said Percival smiling happily, “then I have come to the right place, for I would fain meet a knight in honest combat!”
And the maiden did believe him a fellow of finite jest, for she knew her captor to be without a capacity for merriment. And she continued to beg him to flee, but then the thunder of hoofs could be heard, and Percival went without the pavilion.
And there he saw an huge knight who was dismounting from a charger.
And seeing Percival this knight said, “Ho, merry-andrew, come here.” And Percival went to him courteously, and the knight said, “Now here is my proposal: that for every jest of thine which maketh me to laugh I shall give thee a piece of gold. But for every one which doth not amuse me I shall make thee eat a piece of my horse’s shit.”
But Percival bowed and he said, “Sir, I would fight you honestly.”
And the knight scowled darkly. “Well,” said he, “that is not at all laughable. Prepare then to eat a great horse turd.” And he went behind his charger and fetched up a steaming piece of dung from a newly fallen pile there, and he came to Percival to force him to eat it.
But Percival knocked him to the earth with the back of his hand, and then said to him, “Sir, again I say that I would fight you.”
And the knight arose, and he answered, “Evil as I am, I do not slay poor madmen, the which are under an heavenly protection that not even the Devil, my master, dares to challenge.”
“But I am not mad, sir,” said Percival. “I am hung with this tinware because I have no proper armor, and my weapons are made of wood because I possess none of steel. But if I kill you (and I hope I can, for you are not a man of worship so to have kept a beautiful damsel in captivity) I shall take your armor and sword and horse.”
Now this speech infuriated the knight, and crying, “Insolent puppy!” he leapt onto his charger and he rode upon Percival.
Now Percival mounted his little donkey and he lifted his lance which was made of the cart-shaft. And though this lance was made of wood only, without a steel head, when the evil knight finished his charge Percival’s weapon had penetrated his breastplate and entered his heart, and all his blood poured down into his boots, and he fell dead to the ground.
And the maiden had watched this fight from the door of the pavilion, and when it was over she asked Percival to come within. And when he did she gave him the chains with which she had been fastened and she told him to put
them about her once more.
“And with your great strength, sir, you shall pull them tighter than that weak knight, whom you have slain, was ever able to do,” said she, and she was breathing heavily and biting her lips. “And when you flog me, do it savagely with all your might, for more blood must flow with every bite of the lash!”
“Lady,” said Percival, “I am your deliverer and not your tormentor. You are quite free now and may go whither you please.”
“But what I please to do is to stay here,” said the maiden, “and to be punished severely for my naughtiness.”
“Well,” said Percival, “I understand nought of this, and I see no sense in being chained when one might be free, nor in being flogged when one hath committed no crime.”
“But I am a malefactress,” said the maiden, “because I am a woman. And it was Eve who caused Adam to be expelled from Paradise, and all women since have borne her shame.”
“But,” said Percival, “without the woman, man would not have known the difference between good and evil, and therefore there would have been no virtue for knights to serve. And if in the cause of good I had not delivered you, I should not now have proper armor and weapons.”
And he went without and he stripped the armor from his fallen enemy and he put it on himself, and he took his lance and sword and shield as well.
And the maiden came out of the pavilion and she said, “Sir, in delivering me you have gained possession of me, as of the armor and the weapons, and to leave me here were against the law of chivalry.”
“Well then,” said Percival, “I expect I must take you along with me.” And he lifted her upon the ass. “But for this heavy armor and lance, which would be too heavy for this small beast, I should let you ride the horse.” And mounting the charger which had belonged to the knight, he rode in the van.
And the maiden, whose vanity was as great as her beauty, felt no gratitude towards him for preserving her, whereas she had greatly admired the wicked knight who had abused her, for no one is more important to a tormentor than his victim. But to Percival she was but an encumbrance. And therefore, learning that he would go to King Arthur’s court for to become a knight of the Round Table, this maiden determined spitefully to delay him as much as possible, and for every league they traveled she had another complaint, the answering of which required that Percival stop his horse and turn and listen patiently, and then do what was wanted or explain why it could not be done.
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