Her nod was rigid enough he had his doubts she'd follow through on it, but he was good at reading signals. He reached across her, this time laying his arm beneath her breasts, letting their weight drape over his arm while his fingers danced across her elbow.
"Should I, umm, should I be on my side? Or should you be…"
"You should relax, that's all. Tell me some of the stories you've heard from your sisters. I want to know what expectations you have."
She launched into her stories, her voice stilted at first, but as Locke's hands got more familiar with her body, as he brought her hand up to his chest, inviting her to explore him however she wanted, as he stole kisses all over her face, her neck, her shoulders, she warmed up until she was satisfyingly squirmy.
"The thing is, I don't think she ever planned to…to tell us," Clara concluded her last amusing story from Eloise's repertoire, this one of ill-fated oral sex in the back seat of a subcompact. "If she hadn't…hadn't pinched her calf muscle and limped for…limped…she—oh!" she cried out as Locke finally slid a single digit through the warm curls between her legs and on into the slick folds, nudging against her clitoris. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—"
"You're fine, perfect." He'd been busy tormenting a sensitive spot on her neck, distracting her as his hand lowered from her stomach, but now he lifted his head to give her an honest assessment. "Is this alright for you? I can stop."
She nodded, that flush coming right back.
"Positive?"
Another nod.
"Do you want to hold onto me? You can if you want."
She seriously deliberated that, and it was the sweetest thing in the world—until she did wrap her arms around his shoulders and pressed her head against his shoulder. That was the sweetest thing in the world.
His fingers moved slow and delicately, tentatively exploring the silk passage, collecting her dew and rubbing it through the folds, wanting to taste it more than he'd ever wanted anything, even her lemon bars, but this wasn't the time for that.
"Locke," she whispered.
"I have you."
"They never mentioned this."
He grinned and kissed the crown of her head. "They have, you just didn't realize what they were talking about. This is totally normal."
He caught her clitoris, swollen and pulsing ever so slightly, with his middle finger, hooking the finger around it just enough so that a slight twist of the wrist had him stimulating it from all directions. She cried out, this time tightening her grip on him and biting on his shoulders.
Locke murmured in approval and rolled her toward him so he could rub her back as she moaned against his flesh, her teeth sinking in but too dull to break skin. "That's it, that's why we do this," he told her as her body went tense and her legs curled and locked onto his wrist. "Oh, yeah. That's it right there."
"Locke!" she whimpered. "Oh, God. This is…it's…I think…"
"I know. You're almost there, sugarplum. Just let it pass through you."
She squeezed a little more tightly before she fell back onto the bed, her body twisting and grabbing at the bed sheets, her chest thrusting up at him as he eased her through her first orgasm. He didn't stop touching her, couldn't stop, it was too important that she felt this at every level, and that meant knowing what it was like to ride through to the second.
When she grabbed him by the hair and pulled him back down to her mouth, he didn't hesitate to claim her desperate kisses.
And more. He was going to taste her everywhere, savor every inch of her flesh while she was too lost to pleasure to be worried about where his lips went.
He only got to her breasts, though, before she said, "It's happening again, Locke. I can feel…oh, this is…this is so incredible!"
He had to feel it with her. He couldn't resist. He could see how happy she was, how well he'd done, but he had to feel it, too.
His fangs, already extended slightly as they always did with his erections, found their way to her nipple, where he chomped down.
Her body went into a rough convulsion, and he had to latch on quickly, taking her entire areola in his mouth and sucking hard on it.
And riding the bliss with her, coming as hard as she did, her passion flowing in from her vein. She wasn't touching him anymore, he hadn't even taken his shorts off, but it felt as though she was inside him. Her thoughts, her emotions, her essence flowed into him.
Locke had never visited Heaven before. So few demons had that it was considered an impossibility. He'd never thought about it before or even wanted to go. But now, feeling Clara in a way only he, as a demon, could feel his mate, he knew he was in Heaven simply lying beside her.
She felt an awful lot like an aionia.
Chapter 20
It took Clara a long time to realize what had just happened.
She'd had an orgasm. Several of them. She'd lost count after Locke had bitten her.
Also, she'd never thought to ask what the fangs were about, but now she wished Eloise had mentioned that demons were a little bit vampire. She wasn't worried about the blood loss or even grossed out, but she'd have liked a warning.
And warned that she might really enjoy it. Everything went fuzzy in the best way imaginable after that.
She slipped away into a bliss for several minutes when Locke had finally released her, covering the wounds with his fingers to stop the blood flow. When her brain finally cleared, she expected that they'd move on to the main event—she was still a bit apprehensive and actually hadn't gotten familiar at all with his body there, so she wasn't comfortable naming things yet—but he only tucked her under him, resting his arm across her and his chest along her side, digging his nose into her hair. One leg was thrown over hers, but he lay almost entirely on his stomach. She didn't even have the opportunity to explore him now.
She smiled at him. He smiled at her. He kissed her cheek and nestled back down onto her pillow.
Did she say something? Was he waiting for a sign that they should keep going?
She stretched her hand out, popping the joints in her fingers—nothing so difficult for someone who kneaded dough and fondant daily—and wiggled them about before resting her arm over his.
Locke purred, a deep rumble of satisfaction. He didn't move, though. In fact, he followed it up with a sigh that sounded an awful lot like he was settling in to sleep.
Clara's sigh was far less satisfied. That got Locke's eyes open again.
"I need to go use the restroom."
His eyes went very wide, and for a second Clara was mortified that she'd misread the level of intimacy they'd reached and it was actually not appropriate for her to mention bodily functions, but then he said, "No, no, you stay in bed. I'll go get a towel to clean you off."
That got her extremely confused, but then she moved her legs and yes, in fact, there was an awkward squish there. "Oh, right. But actually I have to use the restroom, so this one's on me."
He nodded and released her. "Are you hungry? Do you want me to make you something?"
She carefully stood, keeping her legs close together, feeling very unattractive as she shimmied toward the bathroom. "No? Should I be hungry?"
"I wasn't sure. This was a first for me."
"You've never…?"
"This was different," he said stiffly, cutting her off. "Go on, now, take care of yourself."
Clara nodded and closed herself in his luxurious bathroom, giving herself some time to wrap her head around what had happened before deciding that it simply didn't make sense.
She wanted Locke, she wanted him on all levels. She couldn't have him as much as she did want him, not when she had to return to Earth and there was only so much time he could realistically spend there, but she would take everything she could have of him.
Which wasn't much. Time was running out.
She spent several minutes in the bathroom as the glow of what they'd done faded from her. With no ghosts around to embarrass her, she in
spected the breast he'd bitten, the bruise from the twin puncture marks hidden almost entirely by the darkened flesh. There was no evidence of what they'd done, then. It was like it never happened, and only she even had the memories of how it felt. Locke hadn't even shared that with her.
She shook herself to get the oogie feelings away and took some deep breaths while she combed through her hair with her fingers. She gave herself a pep talk on what she should say to Locke. She needed to know why he hadn't gone any further with her. Even if his words hurt, even if it was as awful as him not really wanting her that way or not being satisfied enough with what had happened to continue on. She couldn't just walk away, not knowing.
When she finally left the bedroom, Locke's eyes were closed, his body rising and falling evenly, for all the world asleep.
She got in under the covers and shimmied close to him. He curled up around her as he had done before, but his eyes never opened.
The sun was already up when Locke awoke, so he was surprised that not only was his bed still warmed by Clara, she was actually sitting on top of him. She was dressed in her nightgown and panties, but there was still plenty of creamy thigh for him to run his hands along as he shook the fog of sleep away.
"What did you mean when you said it was different?"
He blinked to focus his eyes. "Hmm?"
"Last night, you said it was different, that you didn't know if I should be hungry or not. Why was it different?"
She was angry, but the stroke of her thighs had her eyelids dipping low. She was angry, but she was having a Hell of a time focusing on it like this.
He couldn't wait to get his hand in her panties again.
"You know why it was different," he told her, because there was no way she didn't. The stories from her sisters were evidence enough.
"Why, though? Why didn't we keep going? That's not what I wanted, and you know it."
He frowned, wishing he could have this conversation later, when he'd had time to think about the right way of breaking his own heart. "Here, lay down next to me. I'd rather hold you while we talk about this."
"You're just going to start touching me again, and I'm not going to remember why I'm mad at you."
It was weird that in all the centuries he'd said he never wanted an aionia, he never realized the reason for it. He'd felt so good about things a few minutes ago, and it had taken so few words to send him plummeting. And never once had Druxel mentioned this side of it.
Then again, Ramellen was also a demon. That made it easier, Locke was sure. "I just thought this would be better if we were cuddling, but fine." He slid his hands underneath, and at least holding her rear made him feel better. "I don't want to go any further with you."
"That's not what your thing is saying."
"My thing?"
"Your penis," she growled so fiercely he was sure it was a great victory and greater irritation for her to use that word. "The thing was poking me all night, did you know that?"
Yup. It ached like the devil.
"I poked it back a couple times, but you seemed to like it, and I was mad at you."
"Clara, this isn't about whether we should have sex or not. That guy down there wants it pretty much whenever, but me and you, that's different. There are…problems if we go further."
Her eyebrow told him that answer wasn't acceptable. He hadn't expected it to be.
He bucked her off him, getting her on her side like he'd wanted all along, albeit facing the wrong way. This was better, though. This way he didn't have to look at her and see how hurt she was, he could just curl up around her and make her feel with his body how much he really did care about her.
"I'm a glut demon, Clara. That means that I get single-mindedly driven toward consuming…whatever it is I want to consume. Usually it's food, and you know it's also women. There it is. I had to have your lemon bars, and I had to have you. That's it, as plainly as I can lay it out."
"You've had neither, and now you're pushing me away."
"I'm fairly sure I'm pulling you in as much as I can without hurting you—and I'm hurting myself a little right now, so don't think I'm not sacrificing—but I get it. I can only say that those weren't my true goals. Those were how I thought of them, but really, all along what I wanted was the best thing you could possibly make and your happiness. You made me those fudge rounds, and I can't say how much that meant for me. No one's ever done anything like that, and I'll never forget it. And then, last night, I made you as happy as I could ever make you."
She made a little grumbling sound of displeasure, but it was hard for any of her sounds to be scary. They were all too cute. "I'm sure I could be happier. You don't even know how happy I was."
"I'm a demon, sugarplum. I have my own way of knowing exactly how happy you were. And yes, you could be happier, but not with me."
"How would you know unless we tried—I can't believe I'm begging a demon for sex. This is not my life." She scrubbed her face. "Let me up, I have work to do."
"I'm not finished. You'll be leaving soon, and you know that no matter how often I can visit you up there, we can't be together, right? Like, in a forever way?"
"I'm not asking you to marry me."
Locke closed his eyes. He hated what he was about to say. He hated how flayed he would be for admitting it, and he hated how easily Clara could stomp on his heart for knowing this. She was human, after all, and they felt things on a level so removed from demons that they could inflict an incredible amount of damage without realizing it. "Do you know what it means that all I want for you is happiness? That the only thing I want to consume is your joy?"
"Do you know how irritating it is when you ask me questions you know I can't answer?"
He chuckled and nuzzled against his shoulder. Clara was sweet, but she could also be spicy. He liked that a lot.
"It means that I'm beginning to feel what Druxel feels for Ramellen, and what she feels for him."
Clara's hand, which had been absently rubbing Locke's arm despite her irritation, stilled and gripped onto him, pulling it tighter around her whether she intended that or not. "You mean…the aionia thing?"
Locke grunted. He shimmied them together better, so there wasn't a single part of him that could be touching her and wasn't. Because, yeah, this hurt way more than that never-ending erection smashed between them now. He didn't think he could breathe, so there wasn't any reason not to lift his head up.
He was raw enough he couldn't even grab her in time to stop her from flipping out of his hold.
She was leaving. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. She was leaving and he couldn't stop her and nothing Boss had ever done to him compared to this moment.
Blessed relief came when her hands went to his shoulders. She pinned him flat on the bed and brought her lips to him in a playful, happy kiss. "Silly demon," she giggled. "I'm totally okay with that." She threw her leg over him and rubbed her hands down his chest. "We're doing this now."
Which made him ache that much worse to say, "Clara, no. I can't. I'm going to lose you, and already I don't know how I'll make it through that without going batshit. I can't let this go any further."
There was a protest brewing in her, and she was so beautiful straddling his chest, her thin nightgown hugging her curves, her pale skin glowing in rosy tones, her eyes slightly damp. He could bury himself in her silver hair all day. If she forced him now, he would cave.
But she didn't. She lowered herself down, curling up on his chest, resting her head there as she held him, and that was all.
That was all there could be.
She didn't shake, didn't sniffle, but he felt a dampness on his chest and knew damn well that those tears were not joyful. He couldn't do anything to take the pain out of this, not when she'd made it clear that she wanted what he did and mourned the impossibility as he did, but he could offer her one thing.
"I'll take you to your party tonight. I'll have to recruit some guards in case that angel shows up, but we'
ll go. You should be with your sisters on Christmas Eve. And…let's make this happy, okay? I want us to be happy."
Chapter 21
Killian was simply the angriest thing Clara had ever met in her life.
"Where's Druxel?" Clara whispered as she watched waves of hatred ooze from the large, black-skinned demon that had sunk himself into a corner by the Christmas tree, somehow negating the glow on that side. He was absorbing the light and casting out his own darkness. The effect made Clara's stomach churn.
"He's not allowed on Earth," Locke said as discreetly as he could, leaning close so that the other demons, Ramellen and a sloth demon who'd promptly curled up on the steps and fell asleep upon arriving, couldn't hear. "There was an incident in Russia back in the nineteenth century. Forty-seven casualties. Turns out that's enough to kick you off the mortal plane."
"He swears he didn't kill half of those people," Ramellen piped up without any discretion at all. "And Druvaine once killed sixty-three humans without getting banned from Earth. He's really miffed about it."
"And this…Druvaine. You haven't invited him to this, have you?"
Locke chuckled as he pulled her in for a hug. It had been like this all day, these random, innocent shows of affection, sweet moments of bliss for no reason except Locke wanted to touch her. "None of the Dru brothers are allowed on Earth anymore, not after the Madagascar incident."
She really didn't want to know what happened in Madagascar, but she still had questions. "Are Druvaine and Druxel brothers? Does his whole family have Dru names?"
"That's how all Minor Lord families work," Ramellen said as she pulled a vial out of her bandoleer and checked the contents of it. "I'm from the Ram clan, Starlax taking a nap over there is from the Star clan."
A Christmas Demon for Clara Page 13