by Bea Green
Conan nodded but tears started shining in his eyes again. Clearly the boy was utterly terrified at the thought.
Elinor bent down and put her arms around him.
‘Look, Conan, I’m the most scared woman you’ll ever meet. When I tried to come down here four months ago, I had to stop halfway down and my uncle had to help me climb back up. So I’m just as scared as you are. But you know something? You made it all the way down here and actually the climb back up is meant to be easier.’ Elinor didn’t know if this was true or not, but she was happy to tell a few white lies if it got Conan motivated to climb upwards. ‘I’ll be right behind you to talk to you and help you all the way, OK?’
Conan nodded silently.
‘Right, let’s get going. The sooner we start the better,’ said Elinor, glancing at the restless seawater.
And with this the two of them started the ascent. Elinor chattered to Conan with an endless stream of inanities as they made their way slowly upward. At the same time as talking to Conan, she was trying to focus on securing her grip on the rock face and was frequently taking deep breaths so her fear didn’t paralyse her as it had on so many other occasions.
‘So, Conan, why aren’t you at school today? By the way, I would try holding on to that rock over there.’
Conan, who’d stopped as his ascent was blocked by a large rock, obediently sidestepped it and reached across to pull himself up onto another rocky outcrop.
‘The school called my mum because I had a temperature and wasn’t well.’
Elinor, following close behind him, found it hard to pull herself up onto the rocks and could only be thankful for the muscles she’d built up when she was surfing.
‘Mum was really mad because she had important stuff to do at work today, so she dropped me off at Granny’s house. But Granny’s not well either; she’s in bed with bad arthritis...’
As Conan’s voice faded a little, Elinor looked up sharply and noticed the distance increasing between them. Conan was more sure-footed than Elinor and was racing ahead of her.
‘Hold on, Conan. I’m not as fast as you. You’re really good at this and you’re doing really well. Bear with me and I’ll catch you up... That’s it. Sorry, what made you escape from your granny’s and go down into the cove?’
‘My cousin dared me to go down last weekend when we were having lunch with Granny. He’s called Edward.’
‘So did you go down to the cove last weekend?’
‘No, I was too afraid to. And Edward made me feel really bad. So I thought I’d see if I could do it today.’
‘I understand.’
By this time they were nearing the zigzag earthy path leading on to the clifftop. The last stage, thought Elinor thankfully.
Now they were near the top, clumps of grass and clifftop flowers were coating the rock face on either side of them. With only a few more steps, they were both able to stand up and walk their way to the surface along the narrow, dusty path.
As soon as she set foot on the clifftop, Elinor flung herself down backwards onto the thick cushioned grass, staring up at the blue sky with intense relief. Such was her euphoria she felt as though the ground was moving and shaking beneath her.
Conan peered across at her anxiously.
‘What’s wrong? Are you OK?’ he asked, standing next to her in confusion.
‘I’m brilliant, Conan,’ gasped out Elinor as she laughed insanely. ‘Do you know, I would’ve never been able to do that if it hadn’t been for you?’
Conan waited politely but it was clear he didn’t know what she was talking about.
Which was just as well, thought Elinor. It really wouldn’t have taken much for her to have chickened out and left Conan’s rescue to someone else.
She stood up.
‘Right, Conan. Let’s get you back to your granny. Do you think she’ll have even noticed you weren’t there this morning?’ she asked, looking at him with a twinkle in her eye.
Conan smiled engagingly back.
‘I don’t know. I hope not.’
Unfortunately, their hopes weren’t realised.
As soon as Elinor rang the doorbell Conan’s granny yanked open the door and stared at them in disbelief, a hand raised to her chest.
‘Oh, thank God! Conan, my love, where did you go? I was beside myself with worry. I was on the verge of calling your mother.’
At this, Conan looked seriously alarmed.
‘Granny, you didn’t call her, did you?’
‘No, no, I didn’t. But you can’t disappear like that without a word of warning.’
‘I know, Granny. I won’t do it again.’
His granny reached across and pulled him into a hug. That should be punishment enough, thought Elinor amusedly, watching the expression of distaste on Conan’s face.
‘Right,’ said Elinor. ‘I’d best get going. I’m glad everything’s sorted now.’
She stepped away to make her way back to Trenouth.
‘Wait!’ called Conan’s granny. ‘Where did you find him?’
Elinor paused for a moment. Conan was looking at her apprehensively.
‘Oh, he wasn’t far. He was only a few metres away. Conan seemed to be doing some nature exploring but you can ask him about it.’
‘Oh, right. That’s a surprise. I can’t say I’ve ever seen him show much interest in nature before. Thank you for bringing him back. I was so worried.’
‘No problem.’
Elinor raised a hand and then climbed back over the Cornish hedge of their garden. She then ambled five metres further down to make her way over the hedge leading to Trenouth’s garden.
She was desperately keen to let Leo know about her bravery that morning. She knew he’d appreciate better than anyone else the massive challenge she’d undertaken by climbing down and up that cliff face.
57
‘I’m very impressed, young lady. I never thought I’d see the day you’d make it down to Warren Cove. Especially not after your first attempt.’
Elinor drank a few mouthfuls of Yorkshire Tea as she sat on the sofa in Trenouth’s living room. She sat back with a contented sigh, letting her head roll comfortably on the sofa’s headrest.
‘I know. I don’t know what came over me. For one long moment I had to choose between my fear and anxiety and a small, vulnerable boy. A boy, moreover, who was in distress and, potentially, in danger too,’ recalled Elinor, ashamed that there would even be a choice between the two. However, she now accepted that this was the debilitating nature of poor mental health.
She ran her forefinger over the top of the mug as she thought through the morning’s events.
‘I’m so glad Conan won over my fear. It goes to show that I’m recovered enough to override my instinctual panic. Which is fantastic. It’s given me a real confidence boost.’
Leo ruminated for a moment.
‘I had assumed surfing on those waves had given you a confidence boost in that regard,’ he commented at last.
‘Yes, it has done. Of course it has. Surfing frees me from fear because you have to think in the present and concentrate on outwitting the waves. Maybe that’s what happened this morning. I had to act quickly and not over-think things. It’s clear proof that the book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway works.’
Leo rolled his eyes up to the ceiling in disdain.
‘All that psychobabble. It is no wonder half the world has gone mad these days. When I was younger we were all so busy trying to survive and get by that we never had the leisure to get ourselves into those kinds of problems. Self-harm, suicide attempts, mental health issues... I’m pretty sure if you talk to anyone who comes from a Third World country, they’d be astonished to see how rampant these things are in the West.’
Elinor didn’t say anything. Leo had been more than kind and patient with her mental health issues, but e
ven he had limits to his tolerance.
She swigged the remains left in her mug of tea, lost in thought. Her erratic mother had texted her at lunchtime, letting her know she was delayed in Exeter. Where on earth was she?
‘Leo, what’s my mother up to? She’s still not back from her shopping trip.’
Leo looked at his watch.
‘You’re right. It’s nearly five o’clock. Most unusual. But then again, that’s your mother for you. What are your plans tonight? Isn’t Tony going to drop by?’
‘Yes, I think he’s planning to take me out for dinner at the Pig’s Trough. But I haven’t really had a chance to run it by Mum yet.’
‘Oh, you don’t have to worry about her. We’ve plenty of food in the house. She’ll certainly not starve. Get yourself out there with Tony. Your mother’s been monopolising a lot of your time.’
‘I still don’t think everything’s quite right with her, Leo. I’m not sure what’s going on. Would you mind trying to pry it out of her? I know something’s bothering her.’
‘I’ll try but Morwenna’s never been one to confide in me,’ said Leo matter-of-factly, shrugging his shoulders. ‘We’ve always been too different. Chalk and cheese, that’s the two of us. You can’t determine who you’re going to get on with in your family.’
‘You can say that again,’ agreed Elinor, thinking about her Scottish cousins who seemed to her to regularly detest their siblings. Being an only child had its advantages.
They both heard a car driving up the gravel driveway and come to an abrupt halt. A car door opened. Elinor got up and looked out of the window.
‘It’s Mum! Good grief, it looks like she’s bought up the contents of a costume department. Where the hell did she get all that from?’
Leo joined her at the window and watched bemused as Morwenna started carrying her things to the front door.
He left the room abruptly and walked quickly down the corridor to the front door. Once he’d opened the old door, he stared down at the pile on the doorstep.
‘Morwenna!’
Morwenna lifted her head up from inside the car.
‘Yes?’
‘What’s all this for? You’re supposed to be leaving on Sunday! Are you planning on taking it with you?’
‘No, of course not. Don’t be so stupid, Leo. It’s only for the palm reading afternoon at The Ninth Hole on Friday.’
Leo’s frown cleared.
‘Oh. I see. Are you renting all this stuff, then?’
Morwenna stood up with her hands on her hips.
‘No, I’m not.’
‘But, Mum,’ faltered Elinor, thoroughly taken aback. ‘This must have cost you a fortune.’
There was a blue velvet cloak that from its label looked to be from a vintage shop, a small, round marquetry table, a large tapestry hanging with magical symbols on it and an expensive-looking purple ball dress on a covered hanger from the John Lewis department store in Exeter.
Leo, who was usually frugal to a fault, sniffed in disgust and stalked back into the bungalow, not wanting to have anything to do with such pointless extravagance. Elinor, by contrast, was again wondering what had come over her mother. She knew her better than Leo and she wasn’t normally a spendthrift. Was this a midlife crisis?
She bent down and picked up the ball dress, as well as the velvet cloak, and carried them through to her mother’s bedroom. After laying them out carefully on Morwenna’s bed, she returned to the front door to find the pile had grown again and showed no signs of slowing down.
By the time Elinor had helped carry it all into the bungalow, Morwenna’s bedroom looked like a car boot sale. There were boxes of milk chocolate witches, a trio of fishermen’s blue glass floats, silver bracelets with stars and moons hanging from them, a CD of Berlioz’s Symphonie Fantastique, a box of little purple linen bags (normally used as favours at weddings), lavender air freshener, numerous candles, unusual silver candle lanterns and a rolled-up rug.
Elinor gazed at everything in shock as Morwenna, who was looking very pleased with herself, pottered about the room checking on everything.
The doorbell rang and Elinor raced out of Morwenna’s room to answer the door, hoping and praying it would be Tony. When she saw his familiar features, she launched herself into his arms.
‘Whoa! Elinor!’ expostulated Tony in surprise, as he nearly lost his footing on the doorstep. ‘What’s going on?’
‘My mother,’ said Elinor, burying her face briefly in his soft cashmere jumper and clinging on to him as though she were clinging on to the last remaining piece of sanity in the world.
Tony’s lips tightened into a thin line. So far he hadn’t said a word in disparagement of Morwenna but Elinor could tell he didn’t rate her very highly. Her flirtatious mannerisms when she’d first met him hadn’t done her any favours.
‘Let me dump my bag and you can tell me all about it,’ he said shortly, stepping into the bungalow.
Tony walked down the corridor briskly. Once he’d entered into Elinor’s room, he dropped his bag onto a chair and impatiently took Elinor into his arms. Before she could open her mouth he started kissing her hungrily, teasing her lips apart with his tongue. Elinor indulged him for a few minutes but then decided she wanted to talk to him about her mother and ask for his advice.
Every time Elinor tried to speak, though, he mischievously covered her mouth with his lips and prevented her from doing so. Soon they were laughing so much they were both forced to stop kissing so they could draw breath.
They sank down together onto the double bed so they were lying side by side, holding hands and staring up at the ceiling as they let their gusts of laughter peter out.
‘I needed that,’ said Elinor, wiping away her tears of laughter with her free hand.
Tony lifted the hand he was holding and kissed it tenderly.
‘I can tell you what else I’m needing.’
Elinor groaned and rolled her eyes comically.
‘It’s OK, I can guess,’ she said cheekily, rolling onto her side so she was facing him. ‘Are we going out to dinner?’
‘Yes,’ said Tony, looking at his watch. ‘I’ve a reservation for eight o’clock. That OK?’
‘Yes, of course. Lovely. I haven’t told Mum yet but I’m sure it’ll be fine.’
Tony frowned.
‘I didn’t know you had to ask your mother’s permission to go out for dinner.’
‘No, I don’t,’ said Elinor hastily. ‘It’s just that she’s been behaving so erratically recently. And I guess she did come to Cornwall to see me, too.’
Elinor found herself running out of excuses.
She wanted to tell him that her mother hadn’t been herself recently. And she wanted to explain how, given her mother was being so irrational these days, it would be totally possible for her to object or get offended if Elinor went out to dinner without her...
And that even though Morwenna had taken herself out for most of the day, without any word of warning to Leo or Elinor, it was also entirely plausible that she wouldn’t be able to see the hypocrisy in her unreasonable behaviour.
But Tony had had a long day at work and his mind was clearly set on other things. He reached over and pulled Elinor to him, sneaking a hand under her jumper to rub her nipples and stroke her breasts, knowing perfectly well that by his doing so she’d be unable to resist him.
58
‘So tell me what’s bothering you,’ said Tony, taking a meditative sip from his glass of red wine.
They were both seated at a small corner table at the Pig’s Trough. It was quiet, which wasn’t surprising given it was midweek, but there were enough clients in the restaurant to make conversation comfortably intimate.
In the end, Morwenna hadn’t raised any objections to them going out for dinner. She was dressed in her new purple ball gown at the time, so that mi
ght have had something to do with it. Either way, Elinor was enjoying the prospect of relaxing over a delicious meal in Tony’s company.
‘I’m worried Mum’s starting to get Alzheimer’s.’
‘Any reason why?’
‘She’s changed. Her behaviour is different to normal. I mean, she was always quite full-on, but the rude way she behaved towards Barbara and her flirting with you, it’s not like her. It’s not the person I knew. And she’s been doing some crazy things these past days too.’
A waiter arrived with their starters. He placed the plates neatly in front of them and, picking up their cutlery, they began to eat.
‘Such as?’
‘Sorry?’ asked Elinor, through a mouthful of smoked salmon. She thought of Leo’s eating habits and had to choke back a laugh.
‘What exactly has she been doing to make you think she has Alzheimer’s?’ asked Tony patiently.
‘She disappeared off today on a shopping trip to Exeter. Elena has booked her in for a palm reading afternoon, at The Ninth Hole this Friday. So she comes back from Exeter today, having spent literally hundreds of pounds on a bootload of stuff for the palm reading session. A ball dress, a tapestry to hang onto the wall, candles, lanterns, chocolates, a small table, a cloak. I mean, it’s utterly crazy for one afternoon event.’
‘To you, maybe. But maybe she doesn’t see things the same way. Maybe she’s just having some fun.’
Elinor shook her head stubbornly as she neatly placed her fork and knife on her plate.
‘She’s never been one to splurge. She’s always been especially careful with her money since she divorced my father.’
‘But that was a while ago, wasn’t it?’
Elinor took a mouthful of wine as she pondered this.
‘Yes, it was a while ago. But call me a cynic, when someone’s been a certain way for the better part of their adult life, I think it’s unlikely they’re suddenly going to change their habits.’
‘Rubbish,’ derided Tony.