by Elena Aitken
She hadn’t expected him to be so forthcoming. Not really.
“Really?”
“That’s the truth.” He shrugged. “And I resisted for a day, but you know Christy. She’s relentless.”
Amber almost smiled. She did know exactly how Christy could be. But the smile didn’t have a chance to make it to her lips. “Where will I go, Aaron?”
His smile was genuine and caring. “I was told to tell you that there will always be a room for you at any of their homes.”
She let that sink in. She’d ignored her friends for the last few days. Blocking them completely, even with Cam’s impending wedding and all the plans that still needed to be made, and this after they’d learned that she’d lied to them their entire lives. But even despite her behavior and everything she’d done, when the last thing she deserved was their friendship and love, that’s exactly what they’d given her.
“I know it’s not my business, Amber.” She looked up into his kind eyes. “But they love you and whatever happened, that’s not going to change. Go home.”
He missed her.
A lot.
Logan had spent the days since Thanksgiving replaying the events of the evening and what he’d said. He never should have opened his mouth. Especially with her father there. He should have known better. She hadn’t said anything about telling her dad the truth. But, she had told him that she’d confessed to her friends. How was he supposed to know the truth?
She’d lied.
Maybe he should be mad at her?
No.
He’d spent his days at the ranch with the horses. He didn’t have any clients on the weekend, so he busied himself with as many tasks as he could that would leave him too exhausted to pick up the phone and check his messages to see whether she’d returned his two calls.
It never worked. He always picked up and checked, no matter how tired he was.
And it was always the same. She never called.
The idea of spending one more day alone with his thoughts driving him crazy was too much. Which was why when Logan woke up on Sunday morning, instead of burying himself in work again, he jumped in the truck and headed into town.
The sun was shining, and the snow sparkled like jewels against the backdrop of the bright-blue sky. But he hardly noticed the beauty.
He drove straight past the Creekside Inn, where Amber’s SUV was parked in the lot, rounded the corner, and pulled up in front of Junky’s Auto Shop, where he knew he’d find his dad.
The moment he pulled open the rusty metal door and stepped into the shop, the familiar scent of motor oil mingling with strong, overcooked coffee filled him and he felt at home.
Logan and his sister had spent many hours after school in the auto shop. Sometimes they’d get put to work sweeping floors and emptying garbage and when they were older, Junky put them to work changing oil and rotating tires. But more often than not, when they were little, they’d play tag or hide-and-seek when their homework was done. Or, as was Logan’s case, even when his homework wasn’t done.
After their parents split when Logan was eight and Kyla was six and their mother had remarried and moved out of state, Junky had done his best to raise them on his own. As far as Logan was concerned, he’d done a great job. It wasn’t a normal upbringing, but what was? They were happy, healthy, and cared for. Junky had never been the type of father to get emotional, or make a scene of any kind, but they’d always felt loved and as far as Logan was concerned, that was the only thing that mattered.
“Hello?” His dad’s voice, cracking and underused, called out from somewhere in the shop. “I’ll be right with you.”
“It’s just me, Dad. I came for coffee.”
“Logan?” A moment later, his dad appeared, wearing the same old faded coveralls he wore every day, Junky embroidered on his chest pocket. “What are you doing here?”
“I came for a cup of your coffee, Dad.” He grinned because it was well known that Junky’s coffee was strong enough to strip paint. “I could really use a cup.”
His dad smiled and nodded as he walked past Logan toward the tiny office at the back of the shop, understanding what it was that Logan really needed.
His dad.
“You know I’d lay down my own life for you, Logan.”
They were sitting in Junky’s office, the battered steel desk between them. Logan nodded and looked down into the dark black coffee in his cup.
“I know, Dad.” He did, too. There was nothing his dad wouldn’t do for him. Their relationship wasn’t typical, and they didn’t need to talk to each other or see each other often, but he never doubted the support his dad would give him. No matter what. “I just…well, I had to ask.”
“I understand.” His dad nodded sympathetically. “And if I could afford it, I wouldn’t hesitate to invest in you. The truth is, Logan, there’s not a lot of money in fixing cars and more and more…well, it gets a little harder every day.”
“I’m sorry.” Logan shook his head and wished he could take back everything he’d just asked for. He should have known better and never have asked his dad for money. Obviously he didn’t have the capital to invest in the ranch. “I didn’t realize things were tight. Forget I said anything.”
“Nonsense.” The gruff tone in his voice took Logan back to his childhood. “You have nothing to be sorry for and I’m just fine. Got everything I need. Don’t lack for anything.”
They sat in silence for a moment, each sipping their coffee. Logan grimaced with every sip he took, but the thick liquid was oddly comforting.
“I have a plan,” Logan said. “I just hope whomever Ruby finds to buy her out is open to hearing about it.”
“Or you’ll figure something else out.”
Logan looked up at his dad, who stared at him with the confidence of a man who knew what the outcome would be.
“You will,” he said when Logan didn’t speak right away.
Slowly, Logan let his father’s words sink in. He nodded and stood. “You’re right. I will figure something out.” It was so simple. Not an elaborate pep talk or false platitudes, just simple support and unwavering belief in him. But it was everything that Logan needed to hear.
He would figure something out. At least when it came to the ranch. Amber was a different problem.
“What else is going on, son?”
Logan looked up sharply.
“What?” Junky said. “You think I don’t know there’s something else? Something like a woman?”
Logan shook his head and chuckled a little, even though he certainly didn’t feel like laughing. “I don’t know, Dad. I thought maybe it was…well, I guess I thought maybe I loved her.” Just saying the words out loud hurt. “No,” he amended. “I know I love her.” That was the real truth. He didn’t think anything. He knew without a doubt of his feelings for Amber.
“Of course you do.”
He looked at his dad in question.
“It’s easy, son,” Junky said kindly. “You don’t hurt the way you’re hurting if love isn’t involved. And if you love her, there’s only one thing you can do.”
“What’s that?”
“Fight for her,” he said simply. “Fight for her and don’t stop. Make sure she knows exactly how you feel.”
“And if it doesn’t matter?” The idea of opening his heart to Amber and still having her reject him was too much.
His dad offered him a kind smile, took a slow sip of his coffee, and nodded. “It will, son. It will.”
After talking to his dad, Logan was conflicted. On one hand, he was more determined than ever to put together a business plan for Taking the Reins that he could present to any potential buyers. He’d put that on the back burner with everything that had been going on with Amber. But if she wasn’t willing to answer any of his calls, at the very least he could focus on something that could make a difference.
And that’s exactly what he was going to do.
He was so focused on the plans he had that Logan bar
ely noticed the truck parked next to the barn when he pulled up behind his cabin.
Chapter Seventeen
It took Amber thirty minutes to pack up her few possessions and make the drive home to Drew’s house. She hesitated at the front door, unsure of whether she should knock or just walk in.
She settled on just walking in. Maybe she could sneak down the hall to her room before running into anyone. She should have known better.
She’d barely set foot in the front entry when thundering footsteps, followed by Austin, who flung his arms around her legs, greeted her. “Auntie Amber.” His voice was muffled by her legs. “You’re back.”
“I am.” She smiled and ruffled his hair until he leaned his head back.
“Where did you go?”
“I went…” She looked up to see Drew leaning against the wall, arms crossed, watching them closely. She shifted her attention to Austin again for a moment. “Hey, do you mind if I talk to your mom for a minute?”
“Okay.” His answer was reluctant, but he untangled his arms from around her and stepped back. “But then can I show you my Lego tower? It’s huge.”
“Of course.”
He took off running at full speed back into the living room. Amber watched him go and then looked back to her friend, who still stood silently.
“Hi,” she offered.
“Hey.”
“Can we talk?”
“Always.” Drew turned and walked into the kitchen, a cue Amber took to mean she should follow, which she did. They sat across the table from each other. Drew’s hands were folded and she stared straight ahead, waiting for Amber to speak.
“I’m sorry,” Amber said after a moment.
“For what exactly?” Drew tipped her head. It was clear she wasn’t going to be let off the hook easily, but Amber wouldn’t have expected anything less. Besides that, Drew deserved a full explanation. They all did.
Yes, Amber was hurting. But if she was being honest, it was more than that. She was embarrassed. Deeply ashamed and more than anything else, terrified that she’d somehow managed to screw everything up even more. And although none of that was an excuse for how she’d behaved, it was honest.
“For everything.” She swallowed hard. “For making a huge scene at dinner, obviously. But also, I’m so sorry for lying to you and keeping the truth from you for all of these years. You’ve always been an amazing friend and I’m sorry I didn’t trust you with this…but mostly I’m sorry for allowing my life to spin so far out of control in the first place.” She glanced down at the table and swallowed hard. “When I look back at everything, I’m just so incredibly disappointed in myself and I know it might be hard to believe, but I really am sorry, Drew. I completely understand if you don’t want me to stay—”
“Stop.”
Amber blinked and stared at Drew. Her friend’s pretty doll-like mouth was pressed into a thin line. Her eyes blazed with emotion. “Excuse me?”
“I’m just going to stop you before you say something stupid, like you understand if I don’t want you to stay here anymore or be your friend or if I don’t want you around my son or something equally idiotic.”
Amber opened her mouth to object, but closed it again, because that was exactly what she had been about to say.
“I’ve lost too much, Amber. My son has lost too much. We’re not going to lose you, too.” She pressed one hand flat against the table as she spoke. “Furthermore, you should know me better to even think for a second that I might feel that way. You are my best friend and whatever you have done, or gone through, or secrets you have kept from me, there is nothing that will end this.” She gestured between them before pressing her other palm against the table. She leaned forward slightly and stared directly into Amber’s eyes. “The real problem here, and as far as I’m concerned, the only thing you should be apologizing for is underestimating all of us.”
Amber could feel the pressure of tears building behind her eyes. The pent-up emotion that had been trying for days to release caught in her throat.
“We love you, Amber. No matter what. You are family and I think that somewhere along the line you may have forgot that. We don’t love you because you’re a great lawyer. We don’t love you because when we were in high school you could run two committees with your eyes shut, get straight As and organize a birthday party for one of us without a second thought. We don’t love you for any of that.”
Amber nodded, because she had just started, albeit somewhat slowly, to come to that realization as well.
“Do you understand?” Drew stood now, her voice full of determination. “Do you really understand?”
“I do.” The tears flowed freely now. She stood and a moment later, her friend’s arms were around her, squeezing her tight.
“I’m the one who’s sorry, Amber,” Drew said through a veil of her own tears. “I had no idea what was going on. I had no idea what you were putting yourself through. I should have known.”
“No.” She squeezed tighter. “You couldn’t have known. I didn’t want anyone to know. Besides, it doesn’t matter now.”
“You’re right,” Drew agreed. “All that matters now is that you’re better.” Drew pulled back to look in her eyes. “You are better now?”
“I am. So much better.”
And she was, too. Especially now that she’d gotten over herself enough to go home. Everything would be okay.
A tight band squeezed around her chest as she thought of Logan and the terrible things she’d said to him. Almost everything would be okay.
“Joseph?” Logan took a step toward the man who stood next to the barn in a jacket that looked far too inadequate for the weather. It had been less than a week since he’d seen him, but Joseph Monroe looked as though he’d aged at least a decade since he’d seen him at the Thanksgiving dinner. “What are you doing here? You must be freezing.”
“Came to talk to you.” He ignored the comment about being cold, but Logan could see his efforts to control his shivering. “Got a minute?”
“Absolutely.” Logan gestured to his cabin. “But come in and get out of the cold. Weren’t you just telling me how your joints hated winter?”
Joseph grunted in response but didn’t protest about following Logan into his tiny cabin, where he immediately put on a kettle of water before asking the older man what he needed to talk about. As if he didn’t already know.
“Sit down.” Logan gestured to the couches. Joseph was still standing by the front door, looking more and more uncomfortable, and he made no move to sit. “Joseph?”
“I’ll stand if it’s all the same and I won’t keep you long, Logan. I know you’re a busy man and…” He looked down at his feet, which shuffled from side to side. When he looked up again, his eyes glistened. “Is it my fault?”
The shift happened so quickly that the question took Logan off guard. “Pardon?” He shook his head. “Is what your fault?”
“Amber.” His voice trembled. “Her…her addiction.” He stumbled over the word as if it caused him physical pain to say it out loud. “Is it my fault?”
“What?” Whatever he’d been expecting Joseph to say, it wasn’t that. “Your fault?” he repeated. “No.” He shook his head again.“Why would you say that?”
The older man sighed and swallowed hard. “I always pushed her. I put a lot of pressure on her,” he said. “From the time she was a little girl. I expected a lot out of her. Maybe too much and then when her mom died…well, I’m afraid I wasn’t there for her the way I should have been.”
“A lot of kids have pressure,” Logan said, but he didn’t seem to hear him.
“She’s always accomplished so much, done such great things,” Joseph continued. “I’ve always been so proud of her, you know?”
“I believe it.” He moved to turn off the kettle but didn’t bother with the tea. “Have you told her that?”
“No.” He hung his head, defeated. “I don’t think I have. At least not enough.”
“Come
sit down, Joseph.” This time he didn’t turn down the offer and instead let Logan lead him to the couch.
“You know I’ve spent the last few days trying to figure all of this out,” he said after a moment. “How could I not know she was addicted to drugs?” It was a rhetorical question, so Logan sat quietly. “I spoke with Doctor Thomas about it. Did you know it’s a prescription? They use it to treat children who can’t pay attention in class.”
“Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder,” Logan clarified. “Yes.”
“Then…how…I mean, why did she feel that she needed to take pills?”
Logan didn’t have the answers. Hell, Amber probably didn’t have the answers either. Some things couldn’t be explained, at least not in a way that would be satisfactory. And the past couldn’t be changed. The only thing to do now was understand the best you could and move on. He told Joseph as much.
“Do you think she’ll be okay?” The question was so genuine that Logan could see the love the old man had for his daughter.
“No.” He grinned. “I think she’ll be great.”
Joseph finally offered up a small smile of his own. “You’re right. But I don’t think I’ll be able to take any credit for that.” He sighed deeply. “I didn’t tell her enough that I loved her.” His voice wavered. “I’ve always regretted that.” He looked up into Logan’s eyes for the first time. “It’s not something I can go back and change, but I should have told her more. Hell, I should have told her every day. Little girls need to hear that.”
“Joseph?” Logan reached across the couch and put his hand over the older man’s briefly until he looked at him. “Big girls need to hear it, too.”
Chapter Eighteen
With only a few weeks before the wedding, Cam, who was usually so calm and in control, was anything but. Which was how Christy found herself sitting in Cam’s bedroom, rocking a sleeping Mya while simultaneously trying to settle her best friend.