by Elena Aitken
But this time she couldn’t have stopped the tears if she wanted to. Her vision blurred, so she dropped her head into both of her hands, and let herself cry. She was done bottling up her emotions and holding back tears. Really and truly done.
She was so consumed by the release of her guilt, anger, and disappointment that she didn’t even notice when her dad got up from the table. She didn’t notice until she felt a gentle tugging on her arms, pulling her out of her chair and up to standing. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight, letting her cry until there were no more tears.
It couldn’t have been the first time Amber had cried on her father, but it was the first time since she was a little girl. When her mother died, she wasn’t even given that level of comfort. Likely because back then, he didn’t know how to give it. But now, he clearly did know how to offer the comfort she so desperately needed. Maybe he always had, and she just hadn’t let him. And as he rubbed her back, let her soak his shirt with her tears, and even occasionally whispered comforting words she couldn’t quite decipher, she found herself, for the first time in years, actually feeling better.
As Amber dried her tears and finally sat across the table from her dad and their now almost cold tea, she finally saw clearly what she needed to do. It was finally time to have a real conversation.
By the time they were done talking, Amber had told him everything, and he’d listened. Really listened. And then it was her turn to listen—about how hard it had been for him to lose her mother so young and how alone, sad, and completely scared he’d been to find himself a single father of a young teenage girl.
They both drank their tea, neither of them caring that it had long since become cold. Amber shed a few tears when he told her the story of how he’d met her mother, how much they’d enjoyed being young parents together and how she’d taken such a large piece of him when she’d died.
“I know it wasn’t right,” he said gruffly. “I shouldn’t have let myself be so consumed with grief. You needed me.”
“It’s okay.” She offered him comfort, but still he shook his head.
“It’s not,” he insisted. “I should have been there for you. You were just a girl and you needed me.”
“It’s okay, Dad.” Amber could see the pain on his face. “It’s in the past and there’s nothing we can do about it now.”
He nodded slowly before looking up into her eyes. “You’re right. But there’s something I can do about it now.” A slow smile crossed his face. “Tell me about Logan.” It was an unexpected conversation turn, but then again, they’d been talking about his own love; maybe it wasn’t too big of a leap to talk about hers.
Her love. Love?
Yes. The word sat well in her heart. Despite everything that had happened, maybe because of it, she loved Logan.
Because it finally felt right, she did as her father asked and over another cup of tea, this one fresh and hot, she told him all about Logan and the horses—which he of course already knew about—but she told him about how they’d helped her and how she wasn’t sure whether they were going to be able to continue helping people if Ruby sold the ranch.
“Is there anything you can do?” he asked when she was finished. “What did Logan say?”
“He said the only thing that could help him was a million dol—that’s it.” The idea hit her so fast and hard she almost laughed. How could she have not seen it earlier?
She knew exactly what she should do. What she wanted to do. And not just for Logan, but for her.
“I know what to do now, Dad.” She jumped up from her chair, unable to contain her excitement. “I know how to fix things with Logan.”
He tilted his head and looked at her with a mildly indulgent smile. “How’s that?”
She was so excited, she could no longer sit. Adrenaline rushed through her. It was going to take some work, and it might take a few weeks. She’d have to be patient and wait. And if it was going to be a surprise, she’d have to force herself not to reach out to Logan. But it would be worth it. As long as the time didn’t make everything worse between them.
It was a risk she had to take.
“My grand gesture, Dad.” She clapped her hands together. “I know exactly what it will take. But I might need your help.”
Chapter Nineteen
As Christmas approached, the days grew shorter, darker, and colder. And Logan didn’t think it was just his imagination that they also got a little bit heavier. Everything felt hard and sad and…lonely. He missed Amber with a ferocity that he didn’t think he’d ever be able to shake, but she’d made it clear that it was over.
He hadn’t left a message since right after Thanksgiving, but he’d sent a few text messages and then, with whatever was left of his pride, he’d somehow resisted reaching out again. One time he ran into Cam in the grocery store and he’d asked about her, but she wouldn’t tell him anything more than, “She’s doing fine.”
It was frustrating and hurtful, and short of standing on her front step to wait for her and force her to talk to him, he didn’t know what else to do. Besides, if she didn’t want to see him, he could take a hint. The ball was in her court; he could accept that. No matter how hard it was.
With the prospect of another lonely day stretching out in front of him, Logan decided to start with the best part: the horses. A little time talking to his horses would do him good. The chores could wait.
But when he got to the barns, it was clear he wasn’t the only one who’d had that idea. A familiar face greeted him from inside Peanut’s stall. “Good morning, Logan.”
“It’s good to see you, Ruby.” He meant it, despite the trickle of concern that threaded its way down his spine. If Ruby was here, she probably had news about the ranch and there was a good chance that he wasn’t going to like it. “What brings you out here this morning?”
She turned and rubbed the horse’s nose. “The same thing that’s brought me out almost every morning of my life. I just love these animals.” She spoke almost to the animals themselves. “I’m sure going to miss them.” Her voice was thick with sadness, but a resignation as well.
Logan had a thought. “I don’t have any clients for a few hours this morning,” he said. “And it’s been awhile since I’ve seen you go for a ride… Maybe we could…”
“Oh, I couldn’t.” She shook her head. “I’m sure you have things you need to be doing.”
“I do,” he answered with a laugh. “But just like you, I love these animals, and sometimes the best thing to do is clear your head. What do you say?”
She shook her head, but Logan could see the hesitation. “The truth is…I’m not sure I can get in the saddle anymore,” she confessed after a moment. “I’m not as young as I once was and…” Her words drifted away as she focused on the horse in front of her.
“Don’t give it another thought.” Logan quickly developed an idea. He knew the woman was proud, but he hoped he was right that she’d let him help her. “I have an idea.”
“Logan, it’s fine.”
“No,” he said firmly. “I was hoping to go for a ride this morning and I’d much rather have you join me than go alone.” He beamed at her and finally she smiled back and nodded.
Twenty minutes later, he had both the horses saddled and ready to go. Logan brought Peanut up alongside the fence and used a stepladder on the other side of the horse. Ruby looked skeptical, but fortunately trusted Logan enough to climb up the ladder and use him—perched on the fence—as a support to scramble up on the horse.
“I could build something a little more stable if you’d like?” he asked as he mounted his own horse. “It could be easier and then you would be able to get up on your own.”
“It’s fine.” She waved away his offer. “I don’t want to be a trouble.”
“No trouble.” He smiled brightly at her, and couldn’t help but notice it was the first time he’d felt okay since Thanksgiving. A ride was definitely a good idea.
The air was crisp and bit at
his exposed face as they moved along the pasture. As soon as they took the trail through the pines and had a bit more protection from the wind, things warmed up and they started to settle into their ride. The peace of the forest was exactly what Logan needed to soothe his restlessness and he hoped that behind him, Ruby was feeling the same sense of calm.
After about twenty minutes, the horses, who knew the way, turned almost automatically back for home. Before they arrived at the barns, Ruby drew her horse up next to his. “Thank you, Logan. I can’t remember the last time I’d been on a horse and I wasn’t sure if I…well, I guess I didn’t know if it would ever happen again.” There were tears in her eyes, and Logan nodded, understanding finally the real reason she’d come out to the ranch that morning. “I have buyers,” she finally said, confirming Logan’s thoughts. “The deal should be finalized before the holidays.”
That was only a few days away. Logan’s heart sank, but he smiled. “I’m not going to lie, Ruby. That’s not the news I was hoping for. But I understand why you have to sell.”
“I haven’t heard yet about your offer,” she added. Almost a week ago, Logan had complied a formal offer for Ruby to present to any potential buyers about the opportunity to continue running Taking the Reins, but he wasn’t hopeful it would actually work. “But as soon as I do…”
“Don’t worry, Ruby.” He forced some optimism into his voice and tried to regain some of the tranquility he’d felt earlier. “This isn’t on you,” he assured her before spurring the horse on. “But we should get back before we freeze to death.”
And before my heart breaks completely.
A few days later, the morning of Christmas Eve, there was a knock on the door and a courier presented Logan with a simple envelope.
A Christmas card.
But the message wasn’t one of cheer or good tidings. Inside, the card adorned with a photographed Christmas tree was a handwritten note from Ruby.
* * *
The sale is complete.
The new owners take possession January 1.
I’m sorry, Logan.
Merry Christmas.
* * *
He held the card for a minute and stared at the message as if it would change if he looked at it long enough.
It was over.
All his hard work, the good the horses had already done for people, the potential for the future.
Done.
Chapter Twenty
Cam looked radiant and Amber swore she had never seen a more beautiful bride, a point that everyone agreed with.
Her dress fit her perfectly, the fabric skimming the top of her growing baby bump before falling to her feet in cascades of fabric. She’d been worried about her cleavage, but Christy had sewn a little panel in the front of her dress so she was slightly more modest, although Amber was pretty sure Evan would appreciate the display anyway.
All four friends, along with Morgan, Cam’s teenage daughter, were putting the final touches on the bride, and themselves, at the Creekside Inn. The ceremony was set to start in less than thirty minutes. Just as she had been in the last few weeks, Amber was thankful for the distraction of the wedding. Being apart from Logan, knowing how close they could have been to having the type of happiness she never even knew she wanted, had been harder and harder to bear every day and she’d had to force herself to stay away from him until she had a proper apology. Even if going to him was the only thing she really wanted to do.
“There,” Drew announced, bringing Amber back to the present. Drew had tucked the last of the holly berries into Cam’s pulled-up hair. “You look amazing.”
“You really do,” Christy gushed. “I can’t believe this day is finally here.”
“Don’t cry,” Cam ordered. “If you start, I have no chance and I’m not going to ruin this makeup until after the vows.”
“More like during the vows.” Drew laughed. “There is no way you’re going to make it through the ceremony without bawling your eyes out.”
“Truth,” Morgan said from the corner of the room, where she was applying another layer of lip gloss. “Mom, you’re going to be such a mess.”
Amber laughed. “Something tells me that we all are.” She was coming to embrace this new, more emotional version of herself and there was no doubt that she’d be wiping a few tears.
About forty minutes later, as Amber sat in the front row of chairs, watching one of her best friends, surrounded by two beautifully and subtly decorated Christmas trees and huge red pillar candles, stand with the love of her life, she was doing just that. And as predicted, so was everyone else.
Morgan stood next to her mother as her maid of honor, looking so grown up and poised for her young age, but even she wiped a few tears as they exchanged vows.
“Cam, I have loved you for as long as I can remember.” Evan held his bride’s hands and gazed deep into her eyes. “Over the years, we’ve been through it all, but even when you weren’t by my side, you were in my heart. Fate had different plans for us, but I wouldn’t have changed a thing,” he continued. “Because fate also brought us back together, stronger than ever. My love for you only grows deeper every day, my commitment even more unwavering.” Cam sniffed and Amber knew she was working hard to keep from losing control completely. “Cam,” Evan continued. “I promise to choose you every day. I promise to put you, our love, and our family, ahead of everything else. You are my world, my life, and my home. I love you.”
Cam couldn’t control her tears any longer, nor could anyone else. All around Amber, guests were dabbing at their eyes. It took the bride a moment to gather her thoughts, and when she spoke, Amber couldn’t help but feel their love profoundly in her own heart.
“Evan, I—” Cam broke off and took a second to collect herself before continuing. “Today feels like a dream come true. You were and will always be, the love of my life.” Cam pulled Evan’s hands, still clenched in her own, to her chest and dropped a kiss on them. “We have the kind of love that comes along once in a lifetime. I have never been happier than I am today, knowing that in a few moments, I will finally be your wife. I promise to love and care for you, to wake up every day and tell you how much you mean to me and never go to sleep without telling you again. I even promise to let you cut the green peppers wrong without complaining. Too much.” That got a laugh from everyone. “I love you, Evan.” She grew serious once again. “Thank you for loving me the way you do.”
As soon as she finished speaking, Cam broke down in tears and without waiting for the officiant to say anything, Evan took her face in his hands and kissed her gently before pulling back and staring deep into her eyes. Despite the fact that almost a hundred sets of eyes were trained on them, the couple was completely unaware of anyone or anything. The way they looked at each other sent shivers through Amber’s body. Would she ever experience a love like that? So strong that everything else melted away?
She turned in her seat and almost at once her eyes locked with Logan’s, three rows back and to the left. Her heart simultaneously stopped and sped up. Heat flooded her and she knew her face was flushing red enough to match the dress she was wearing, but she didn’t care. When he lifted his hand in a tiny wave, it took everything she had not to jump up in her seat to go to him.
Maybe she could experience a love like that. Maybe she already had.
After receiving Ruby’s message, the last thing Logan felt like doing was going to the wedding. But the moment he saw Amber, dressed in a long, form-fitting red dress, her dark hair pulled back and piled up on her head, he knew there was nowhere else he could have been.
He sat in the middle of the crowd, and just like everyone else in attendance, was consumed by the emotions of the ceremony. But even though he was listening to the bride and groom along with everyone else, all of Logan’s attention was focused on Amber. He saw the way she dabbed her eyes when Evan proclaimed his love and the way her shoulders shook ever so gently when Cam started crying during her own vows.
Even though he wa
s watching her intently, he still wasn’t prepared for it when she turned around and locked eyes with him.
God. She was beautiful.
She didn’t look away. She didn’t look angry or sad or anything but…perfect.
He raised his hand in a little wave when all he really wanted to do was jump up from his seat and pull her into his arms. Of course he couldn’t do that, but it didn’t stop him from wanting to. Instead, he smiled and when she smiled back, just a little, a surge of hope rushed through him.
Her attention was taken by something happening in front of her and she turned around as the officiant declared Evan and Cam husband and wife. The whole room cheered and Logan joined in. He turned and watched as the new couple made their way down the aisle and then once again, he turned and searched for Amber, who was following the crowd and falling into line, aisle by aisle, behind the bride and groom.
She wasn’t looking at him though; instead, she was laughing and smiling with her friends as they walked down the aisle together. Short of pushing everyone out of the way so he could get to Amber sooner, there was nothing Logan could do but be patient. And that’s what he did.
But the moment he was free from the chairs, he dodged and weaved through the crowd and made a beeline directly for the woman in the red dress standing next to the river stone fireplace in the lobby of the hotel. Was she waiting for him?
No.
A moment later, Drew and Christy joined her, laughing and smiling. He stopped walking, unwilling for a moment to interrupt their happy moment. He wasn’t going to cause a scene, or create any drama on Cam and Evan’s wedding day.
He shook his head and fought against the tightening in his chest at the thought of not talking to Amber. Of not finally understanding what had gone so terribly wrong on Thanksgiving that it had destroyed everything they’d been building.