The Mirror of My Heart

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by Unknown


  I sat beside him in a turmoil of uncertainty—

  His lips spilled their desire on mine

  And I escaped my crazy heart’s long misery

  I whispered in his ear the words of love,

  “I want you, O my love,

  I want your arms around me, giving life,

  I want you, O my crazy love”

  Desire’s flame flickered in his eyes

  And red wine danced within the glass—

  My body in the yielding mattress, drunk

  With love, and trembling on his breast

  I’ve sinned, a sin that was all pleasure,

  Beside his body, trembling, hardly conscious—

  O God, what do I know of what I did

  Within that intimately silent darkness?

  *

  Bathing

  To bathe my body in the waters of a spring

  I took my clothes off in the mild warm air

  Night’s silence tempted my sad heart

  To tell its sorrows to the waters there

  How cool the water was! The glistening ripples

  Murmured around me, as if in love with me,

  As if with gentle crystal hands they drew

  My soul and body into them completely

  From far away a wind blew, and in no time

  Scattered a flowery chaplet on my hair

  Wild pennyroyal’s lovely pungent scent

  Assailed my nostrils from the breathing air

  My eyes closed, I was silent, emptied of emotion

  As there against the soft fresh grass my body pressed

  Just like a woman nestling in her lover’s arms—

  I slipped into the water gently and at rest

  nd suddenly the water’s trembling thirsty lips

  Were kissing my legs with feverish intensity . . .

  I was content to let them, as if happy-drunk—

  My flesh, the sinful water’s soul, made one in me

  *

  The Broken Mirror

  Yesterday, in memory of you, and of

  Our heartfelt love, I thought to wear

  My green blouse; I stared at my face in the mirror,

  And slowly took the hair-band from my hair

  I dabbed my head and breasts with scent,

  Round my coquettish eyes I penciled kohl

  I shook my hair out over my shoulders,

  Slowly, at my mouth’s corner, I placed a mole

  Then to myself I said, “How sad that he’s not here

  To be bewitched by my flirtatious guile,

  To see my green blouse on my body, and to say

  ‘How lovely you look now,’ and smile

  “As he’s not here to stare at my black pupils

  And see the image of his own face there

  Why spread my hair like this tonight? Where are

  His fingers, to make their home within my hair?

  “But he’s not here to fall into my arms,

  To be made crazy by the perfume of my breast

  O mirror, I could die with all this longing and regret

  And he’s not here to clasp my body to his chest.”

  I stared at the mirror as it heard me out, and said

  “Can you solve this problem of mine? Is there some way?”

  It broke, and cried out to express its grief,

  “O woman, You’ve broken my heart, what can I say?”

  *

  In Love with Sadness

  I wish I were like fall . . . I wish I were like fall

  I wish I were like fall, silent, with no desires at all

  My wishes’ leaves would one by one turn sallow-gold

  My eyes’ sun would grow cold

  The heaven of my breast would fill with pain

  And suddenly a storm of grief would seize my heart

  Like rain my tears would start

  And stain my dress

  Oh . . . how lovely then, if I were like the fall

  Feral and bitter, with colors seeping into one another, so beautiful

  In my eyes a poet would read . . . a heavenly poem

  In my chest a lover’s heart would flare with fire

  And in its sparks a hidden pain

  My song . . .

  Like a breeze’s voice, with broken wings,

  The scent of grief would drip on hearts grown tired of things.

  In front of me

  The bitter face of a new winter:

  Behind me

  Summer’s sudden love, all its commotion.

  My breast

  The home of sadness, pain, suspicion

  I wish I were like fall . . . I wish I were like fall

  *

  A Wind-Up Doll

  More than all this, oh yes,

  More than all this one can remain silent

  For long hours, one can stare

  Motionless, with the fixed gaze of the dead

  At a cigarette’s smoke

  At a cup’s shape

  At the faded flowers on the rug

  At an imaginary line on the wall

  With a dry claw

  One can pull the curtains aside and see

  Rain pelting down in the street

  A child with his colored kites

  Standing in an archway

  A clapped-out old cart hurrying noisily

  From the empty square

  One can stay where one is

  Next to the curtains, but blind, deaf

  One can scream

  In an utterly absurd voice that’s all lies,

  “I love . . .”

  In a man’s strong arms

  One can be a beautiful healthy female,

  With a body like a leathern cloth

  With two large firm breasts

  In the bed of a drunkard, a fool, a drifter

  One can sully an innocent love

  With sly contempt one can make fun

  Of every marvelous mystery

  One can solve a crossword puzzle alone

  One can feel pleased with oneself alone, for finding a pointless answer

  Yes, a pointless answer, one with five or six letters

  One can kneel for a lifetime

  With one’s head bowed before a cold shrine

  One can see God in an unnamed grave

  One can find faith in a worthless coin

  One can rot in a mosque’s cubicles

  Like an old reciter of pilgrims’ prayers

  One can be like zero, always the same

  Through subtraction, addition, multiplication . . .

  One can think of your eyes, cocooned in their anger,

  Like colorless buttons on an old shoe

  In the pit of oneself, one can dry up like water

  Ashamed, one can hide the beauty of a moment

  As if it were a ridiculous black and white snapshot

  At the bottom of a chest.

  In the frame of an empty day one can place

  The picture of someone convicted, defeated, crucified

  One can cover the crack in the wall with masks

  One can get by with more futile pictures than this

  One can be like wind-up dolls

  Seeing one’s own world with glass eyes

  Lying in a baize-lined box

  With a body stuffed with straw

  Lying for years in folds of spangled tulle

  And at every shameless squeeze of one’s hand

  One can cry out for no reason and say,

  “Oh, how happy I am, so happy!”

  *

  Couple
<
br />   Night comes

  and after night, darkness

  after darkness

  eyes

  hands

  and breathing, breathing, breathing

  and the sound of water

  that falls drip drip drip from the faucet

  then two

  red dots

  from two lit cigarettes

  the ticking of the clock

  and two hearts

  and two lonelinesses

  Tahereh Saffarzadeh

  1936–2008

  Born in Sirjan, in the southeast of Iran, Tahereh Saffarzadeh was a prolific poet, and having declared that “faith is the only source of deliverance from the wasteland of contemporary Iran,” she became a prominent supporter of the Islamic Revolution of 1979. In addition to her poetry she wrote extensively on theological subjects, including a book on translations of the Qor’an, as well as her own bilingual translation of the Qor’an into Persian and English.76

  *

  Neighbor

  My neighbor

  is a symbol of men in the city

  each morning

  he slowly in his mind

  counts the steps down

  and in the middle of the steps

  he straightens his tie

  blocking the way

  My neighbor

  is grave and polite

  in the way that modest traditional brides are

  from beneath his eyelids he watches

  for the luck of a bridegroom

  to appear on some favorable road

  and turn this dull sluggish life

  into something exciting

  into something fortunate

  *

  Birthplace

  I haven’t seen my birthplace

  the place where my mother

  beneath a ceiling

  laid down her body’s heavy burden

  it’s still living

  the first tick-tock of my little heart

  in the stove’s chimney

  in the crevices between the old bricks;

  and the place of that ashamed look

  is still visible on the room’s door and walls

  my mother’s look

  at my father

  and my grandfather

  her smothered voice said

  “It’s a girl”

  The midwife trembled

  worried about her fee for cutting the cord

  knowing there’d be no circumcision celebration

  The first time I visit my birthplace

  I’ll strip my mother’s ashamed look

  from the wall

  and there, where the distinct beating of my pulse began,

  I’ll make my declaration:

  in my unsullied hands

  there’s no lust to clench my fists or strike out

  I’m not going to get roaring drunk

  I don’t think it’s glorious to kill people

  I wasn’t raised at the table

  of male supremacy

  *

  Walls

  Walls are on the move

  walls have started to talk

  silent submissive walls

  walls subservient to the palace

  walls bent over by the government

  —all from the breath of masses surging forward

  ancient walls

  middle-aged

  these blind witnesses of tragic events

  these silent witnesses of oppression and torture

  have now begun to talk

  have now begun to move

  have now stepped forward

  but how quickly they are striding forward

  these children

  who have now begun to talk

  these old men

  who are now moving forward77

  Mina Assadi

  Born 1943

  Born in Sari, Iran, Mina Assadi has worked as a journalist, and has written songs for a number of well-known Iranian singers, as well as numerous books of poetry. Much of her poetry is on political subjects, and she has been an outspoken opponent of the government of Iran’s Islamic Republic. She lives in Stockholm, Sweden.

  *

  The Dictator’s Message

  O poets

  return,

  we have swept

  your homeland clean

  of thorns and splinters

  O writers

  return,

  to make a record of your works

  we have ordered paper from all over the world

  O mothers

  return,

  we have made all the prisons

  into schools and universities

  O young people

  return,

  and for your country’s future

  lay a new foundation

  O painters

  return,

  and on war’s blood-soaked walls

  paint the white dove of peace

  O architects

  return,

  and for all these returnees

  build houses over the corpses

  of their dead, who stayed and struggled

  *

  There’s sunshine and the days are dark

  there’s moonlight and I can’t see

  there’s a veil hanging before my eyes

  this season is a season of flight and being silent

  a season of being lost in an onslaught of ruin

  a season of sleeplessness and distress

  this season is a season for cutting down branches

  a season of the gallows, of torture and sentencing

  a season of cells crowded together

  a season for forgetting prison

  a season that’s good for buying and eating and sleeping

  this season is a season of “What’s it to me?”

  a season of opportunity, of simplified spelling,

  a season of profit and loss and assessing the right time

  for closing Marx and reading the Qor’an

  a season of bragging in poems with fake language

  a season of “me, me,” of lies and pretension

  a season of sucking up to oneself with a microphone

  a season of the viruses of fame and reputation

  a season of going along with “Death to the Leader”

  and then sleeping in a corner of one’s house

  I’m forgotten and decency is silent

  And you are hanging from love’s gallows

  There’s sunshine and the days are dark

  there’s moonlight and I can’t see

  Nazanin Nezam Shahidi

  1954–2004

  Nazanin Nezam Shahidi was born in Tehran and graduated from Tehran University with an MA in Arabic Language and Literature. Her first book of poems was well received, and she was about to publish her second book when she died unexpectedly at the age of fifty.

  *

  Game

  Another moment

  we stop

  because of a dream

  as a solitary child pauses

  from her game

  when her purple kite

  unexpectedly tears

  and a gasp of air suddenly

  catches in her throat

  Another moment

  the dream in the sand castle

  collapses

  castles with no knights

  ramparts with no princesses walking there

  But for another moment

  give me love

  so that I can draw a line

  on t
he walls of the world

  to my own extent

  where it stops

  that’s where I stop

  Fevzieh Rahgozar Barlas

  Born 1955

  Fevzieh Rahgozar Barlas was born in Balkh, in northern Afghanistan, and graduated from Istanbul University in 1977. She briefly worked for the Afghan Ministry of Information and Culture, and in 1979 she went into exile; she has an MA from the University of Washington (1996).

  *

  An Innocent Little Girl

  The little girl is innocent

  they’ve put henna on her hands

  they’ve plaited her hair beautifully

  they’ve put kohl round her eyes

  they’ve dyed her eyebrows

  they’ve applied red and white makeup to her doll-like face

  like poor girls’ tattered dolls

  she now looks ridiculous

  The little girl is innocent

  she doesn’t see herself

  she’s dazzled by her blouse that’s woven with gold thread

  the room smells of old rose-water, milk, and sweat

  breath suffocates within their chests

  the women sing and dance with tambourines and little drums

  the little girl smiles

  Women tie white flowers for good fortune,

  and second-hand gold jewelry

  within her ringlets that are wet with sweat

  The little girl thinks

  she is a doll

  the little girl is innocent

  she doesn’t know anything

  Her mother looks at her

  emptily staring, the hollows of her eyes

  filled with pain

  in his own world, her father

  counts the money

  and the old bridegroom

  is really happy

  The little girl is innocent

  she doesn’t know the difference between henna and blood

  they’ve prepared her beautifully

  for weeping,

  she doesn’t know, she doesn’t know . . .

  Soheila Amirsoleimani

  Born 1960

  Soheila Amirsoleimani is an Associate Professor of Persian Studies at the University of Utah; her scholarly work is mainly concerned with eleventh-century Persian historical texts. She writes poetry in both Persian and English.

  *

  Ghazni

  This family whose story I am writing78

  took the name of a city

  to the east of Khorasan

  this city’s name is Ghazni

  they came from beyond the River Syr Darya

  they came as slaves and became kings

  they came powerless and became powerful

  and sat among the scribes of Khorasan

  among the scribes of Balkh and Nayshapur and Bayhaq

 

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