“I see, sir.” I swallowed my indignation and tried to keep my expression neutral. “Is that all?”
Gaskell gave me a shrewd look, like he knew I had no intention of doing what he said. I’d stop seeing Sam only when things didn’t work out, or she told me to get lost.
“Alright, lad, listen. You want to keep things going in your private time, I’m not going to get in the way, it’s not my place, and I honestly don’t give a damn. If things work out badly between you two, though.” He fixed me with a firm look. “I want you to make absolutely sure that it doesn’t affect your work. No avoiding the lab or arguing in the station, y’hear me?”
I clenched my jaw. “Yes, sir.”
He rubbed his cheek, looking tired and not too thrilled to be having to talk to me about this. I was none too happy about it either, and it made me pretty unsympathetic.
“That was all, then,” he said.
I gave him a curt nod and saw myself out. My expression descended into a frown once I was out of his office. I knew I looked like a brooding thundercloud by the time I returned to my desk, judging by Stephen’s slightly alarmed look.
“What’s wrong?” he said. “You look, well, fuming.”
“It’s nothing,” I snapped.
Briefly, I wondered if someone had overheard Stephen’s continual teasing about Sam and I and that was how Gaskell got to hear about it, but I dismissed the disloyal idea immediately. I didn’t need to take this out on Stephen when it wasn’t his fault. He was looking at me sideways.
“Don’t sound like nothing.”
I dragged a hand over my face and relented. “Gaskell said I wasn't supposed to be seeing Sam, since she’s a colleague and all,” I said, my accent thickening with my anger.
“Huh. Didn’t expect you to say that,” he said.
I gave a short, harsh laugh. “Aye, I didn’t expect it either.” I shook my head in annoyance. “Isn’t any of his business,” I muttered.
Stephen hummed. “He’s probably got to say it, ‘cus he’s your boss. He probably doesn’t much care himself.”
“It’s how he doesn’t seem to trust that I can be professional!” I snapped, my voice low but angry. “Just because I met Sam at work doesn’t mean I can’t keep my personal and private life separate, right?”
“I know, Mitch, okay?” Stephen put a quelling hand on my shoulder. “You take a lot of pride in your work, I know that, and you’d never let a falling out effect that.” He lowered his voice. “You and Keira manage just fine, don’t you? You and her-”
“That was a casual thing,” I sighed. “I do feel more for Sam, it’s true. It would be harder to act normal around her if things went sideways, but I’d never let it affect my work. Never.” Stephen’s understanding and solid support helped dissipate my anger, and my shoulders sagged. “I thought he had more faith in me than that.”
Stephen looked at me, his brows pinched. “I’m sure he does really,” he said. “Like I said, he just has to say these things.”
I was unconvinced, but I appreciated Stephen’s attempt. I pushed a hand through my hair and stood up to fetch a fresh coffee, getting Stephen one too, while I was at it. I made a deliberate effort to let it go as I was making my drink, so that I came back to my desk, ready to focus on the case again. Dwelling on this for too long would affect my work, which was the very thing I was determined not to do.
“Let’s forget it,” I said firmly, passing Stephen his cup of tea. “We’ve got plenty to be getting on with, not least of which is planning when and how to confront Isabel.”
Stephen looked over, checking that I was really fine and I gave him a small smile.
He smiled back. “Better pull our socks up and get to it, then.”
The last few hours of the afternoon passed quickly, and I deliberately pushed Gaskell’s words out of my mind for the time being. We’d drafted up a plan of how we’d confront Isabel tomorrow morning, when we were both fresh and prepared. I hoped waiting one more night wouldn’t matter, but I couldn’t help but fret that Isabel might slip between our fingers as Alec had for some time. But if that happened, we’d simply have to track her down, as we did with Alec.
“How’ve your shins been?” Stephen asked as we were packing up to head home.
I glanced reflexively down at my legs though there was nothing to see there. “They’re a good bit better. I’m running home tonight.”
“Yeah?” Stephen said, and the pleased expression on his face made me smile. He was someone who took joy from others’ happiness, and it was a characteristic of his that I particularly liked. “That must be the first time back running in what…”
“Must be at least two weeks now,” I agreed, “since I’ve gone the whole distance between work and home, anyway.”
We headed out of the office and towards the stairs.
“You’ll take it easy?”
“I’m not an idiot,” I said.
He grinned at that. “That remains to be seen.”
I shoved him lightly in mock offence, and he pushed me back, which was when Sam came down the stairs and spotted us half-wrestling in the entranceway. I went still when I saw her and pulled away from Stephen, my expression going serious. I scanned Sam’s face and realised right away that she’d been spoken to by her boss, too. Her expression was tight and almost apologetic as she looked at me and my heart sank, fearing that I already knew what she’d say.
“Well, ah,” Stephen said and coughed awkwardly, taking a step towards the door. “See you tomorrow, Mitch.”
“Bye, Steph,” I said, without looking away from Sam.
We were silent for a moment, both of us unsure where to start. I was aware of the officer on duty on the front desk nearby, and that anyone could come down the stairs and see us.
Sam was clearly cautious of listening ears, too, as she said, “Walk with me?”
“Of course,” I said. I’d been planning to go to the changing rooms to put on my running kit and run home, but I could always go running. Hearing what Sam wanted to say was more important.
We walked out of the station and crossed the car park without saying anything. I wanted badly to take her hand in mine, but I couldn’t tell how she was feeling, and so I didn’t.
When she stayed quiet, falling back into the shyness she’d shown when we first started talking properly, I spoke first, “Did your superior talk to you too?” I was pretty sure of the answer, but it was a place to start.
She seemed relieved that I’d broken the silence, her shoulders dropping as she sighed. “Yeah. People have been talking about us, I suppose.”
I was gratified to see the frown that passed over her forehead, that she was annoyed at it, too. I chewed my lip as I tried to think what to say next. Usually, I was quite content with short but meaningful relationships. I always wanted intimacy and honesty, but I didn’t usually need a long-term relationship to achieve that. I put my work first in my life and didn’t feel deprived for doing that, except on the occasional lonely Friday night, or on quiet Sunday mornings when I wish briefly for someone to sit reading the paper or watching the TV with me. I couldn’t say yet whether it would be different with Sam, but I was certain that I wasn’t to end it yet. The question was what she felt about it all, with work pushing for us to stay apart.
Lost in my thoughts, Sam ended up speaking first.
“We could keep it outside of work,” she blurted out.
“You want to keep giving it a try?” I turned sharply towards her, almost wary of hoping that she meant what I thought she did. She looked at me, her brows drawn together and lip caught nervously in her teeth.
“I do?” she said, her soft tone making it into a question. “If you want to?”
My face split into a grin and I couldn’t help but pull her into a fierce hug, right there on the pavement.
“I really want to,” I assured her with my chin tucked over her shoulder and the fruity smell of her shampoo in my nose.
After a moment of surprise, sh
e wrapped her arms around my back and hugged me back tightly. “Thank god for that,” she murmured.
We pulled apart with an awkward, happy little laugh and Sam ducked her head. Her ponytail fell over her shoulder, and her cheeks were flushed pink, with pleasure or shyness, I wasn’t sure.
We were still not far from the station, so I glanced over my shoulder back the way we’d come, and Sam did the same. I half-expected the mood to become solemn again at the reminder that we’d not be able to be as friendly at work as we’d like, but Sam surprised me by giggling.
“What?” I said, already smiling. Her front tooth was slightly crooked, and I couldn’t help but find it cute.
“It’s like we’re having an affair,” she laughed, “and work is the one we’re cheating on!”
I cracked a half-smile at that, not sure that I found the idea as funny as she did, but it didn’t matter. I wrapped an arm around her shoulder and, with Sam still smiling to herself, we started walking again.
“We’ll figure something out,” she told me gently after a minute’s quiet. I glanced at her and saw her looking at me with sympathy, serious now. No doubt she’d sensed my fretting.
“Work’s important to me,” I admitted. “It’s always been my main focus. The idea of doing something that risks my standing at the station… it’s scary.” I hoped I hadn’t offended her with my honesty and, to my relief, she was nodding.
“I understand. I worked damned hard to get where I am, too. I’m not throwing that away. But I think we can do both, if we keep them separate. We’re not doing anything wrong.”
“No,” I said. “This feels exactly right.”
I squeezed her shoulder lightly as we continued walking. We headed, by silent agreement, for my flat and I was already thinking of what I might cook her for dinner and what we’d talk about. I leaned over to kiss the side of her head, above her ear, and she gave me a warm smile.
Things would be alright. However, it all worked out.
Seventeen
“Darren? Darren!”
I was startled awake, groggy and confused, by a hand shaking my shoulder. There was a rhythmic buzzing noise and, as I came to my senses, I realised it was my phone.
I reached out for it, my eyes still half-closed, and it was put into my hand by warm fingers. I rubbed my gummy eyes and found Sam looking at me, barely awake herself with her hair tousled by sleep and the lines of the pillow fabric visible on her cheek.
“It’s the station,” Sam told me, her voice low.
“Thanks,” I managed thickly, fumbling to accept the phone call before it stopped ringing, pressing it to my ear. I dragged myself up to seated as I reflexively said, “DCI Mitchell speaking.”
I glanced over at the bedside table and saw that it was quarter to six, so Sam and I hadn’t overslept, at least.
“Mitchell, it’s John,” Gaskell said, sounding a good deal more awake than I was. “We’ve had a call from the hospital.”
That made me tense, suddenly fully awake. “What did they say, sir?” I asked hurriedly.
“It’s good news,” he reassured me, no doubt hearing the worry in my voice. “The victim started showing signs of waking last night, and she’s opened her eyes this morning.”
I was stuck with shock. I was still slow with sleepiness, and this sounded too good to be true. I looked over at Sam for no reason other than to convince myself that I was fully awake, and she looked back at me, her eyebrows slightly furrowed as she tried to read my face.
“That’s good, sir,” I managed finally.
“It sure is,” Gaskell said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. “Give Huxley a call and get down to the station, alright? I want you there to talk to the doctor, and the family. See when we might talk to the victim.”
“Maddie,” I corrected automatically.
“Yes, when we can talk to Maddie,” Gaskell agreed. He was quiet for a beat, and I realised a moment too late that he was waiting for an answer.
“Er, yes, sir. I’ll do that.”
He gave a small laugh. “I’ll leave you to wake up,” he said, before he bid me goodbye and hung up.
I blinked down at the phone as I slowly lowered it. Sam put a gentle hand on my forearm, and I turned to her.
“Good news?” she said hesitantly.
“Aye, it is,” I said, before breaking into a smile as it hit. “The victim of our case, Maddie Packham, she’s opened her eyes. She’s waking up.”
Sam smiled back at me. “That’s wonderful,” she said warmly. She leaned towards me, giving me a soft kiss before she moved away to get out of bed.
“You could sleep for a bit longer,” I said apologetically.
She was already over by the door, taking my dressing gown off the back of the door.
“No, I’m awake now,” she said. “Do you mind if I borrow this?”
She was already pulling on the dressing gown with a shiver, and I couldn’t help but chuckle at how big it looked on her. She was a tall woman, only a little shorter than me, but I was broader across the shoulders, and the dressing gown had a lot of extra fabric, which she wrapped around herself with a little shiver.
“Of course,” I said.
She shuffled downstairs to put the kettle on while I dug out an old dressing gown from the back of my wardrobe and followed her. I was in something of a hurry to get out, but I couldn’t bring myself to rush the soft moments between Sam and I as she made toast for us both and handed me a mug of coffee, her fingers brushing mine.
I called Stephen as I was eating, and he finally picked up on my second try. He sounded as woolly headed and half-asleep as I’d been, but I told him about Maddie, and he woke up quickly.
“I’ll be right there,” he assured me.
I rushed around to get washed and dressed in uniform, patting my rumpled hair into something that was semi-presentable. Sam was in the kitchen, sipping a cup of tea and listening to the radio, when I came down, ready to go. She nodded towards a flask on the side and a wrapped tin foil package and, briefly taken aback though I was, I scooped them up.
“Thank you,” I said, moving to kiss her. When we pulled apart, she gently rearranged my hair, trying to get it to lie a little flatter before she smiled and gave up.
“See you later?” she said.
“Definitely.” I gave her a smile as I headed out the door, flask in one hand and the tin foil package under my arm.
I hurried down the stairs of the apartment block and out the front door, almost slipping over on a patch of frost before I made it to the car. The air inside the car was freezing, and I shuddered, jabbing the heating on as I set off for the hospital.
The car park was surprisingly busy when I arrived, as was the waiting room. I spotted Stephen standing by the wall on the far side of the room and went over to him.
“Good news, isn’t it?” Stephen said brightly when I reached him.
I smiled back at him. “Aye, it’s a good way to start a morning.” As was waking up next to Sam, and sharing breakfast with her, I thought, but didn’t share with Stephen. Some moments felt private, however ordinary and banal they seemed on the surface.
We started walking down the corridor towards the lift. “What’s that?” Stephen asked, gesturing to the tin foil tucked under my arm when I looked confused.
I gave a small laugh. Stephen was too damn observant.
“Somebody made me a pack lunch this morning, I think.” It was no use pretending to have done them myself. Stephen knew I wasn’t the type to make my own packed lunch, though it was a habit I kept meaning to start. Stephen’s face lit up with glee as he realised what I meant and he playfully punched me on the arm as we moved into the lift.
“I’m happy for you!” he said, “Do you think she got your coffee strong enough?”
I snorted. “I hope so.”
The lift climbed up to the floor that Maddie was on, and Stephen and I moved purposefully down the hallway towards it. There was still a buzz of happiness about both of us,
but it was tempered by the hospital surroundings and because we weren’t quite sure how Maddie would be. That she was stirring was excellent news, but it might still be some days before she was talking, and we didn’t know whether there was lasting damage from the hit she’d suffered to the head.
The door to Maddie’s room was closed, and Stephen and I paused outside it, not wanting to intrude if the family were inside. But there wasn’t a window in the door, so we had to push it open to check.
Maddie’s parents were inside, along with a woman in a white coat, and they turned around when I hesitantly opened the door half-way.
Annabel, Maddie’s mother, stared at me for a moment before she seemed to clock who I was. I couldn’t read anything of the news from her dazed expression, which showed little but shock.
“Please give us a minute,” Annabel said, after a long pause.
I glanced over at Maddie, who wasn’t moving and didn’t seem to be awake, even as I was nodding. “Of course,” I said quietly and retreated, pulling the door closed again.
Stephen and I moved away to a line of chairs and sat down to wait. It was only a short while, ten minutes or less, before the doctor emerged. She gave us nothing more than a nod as she strode away, moving so quickly that I didn’t even have the chance to get to my feet to greet her.
Stephen and I shared a glance.
“I guess we’ll have to ask Maddie’s parents how she is, then,” Stephen said.
“Aye.” I glanced at my watch. “I might as well do something useful while we’re here,” I mused, before nodding towards Maddie’s door. “They might be some time. You mind waiting here?”
Stephen shrugged. “‘Course not.”
“Give me a ring when they come out,” I said as I got to my feet. “And don’t eat that.” I pointed to the foil package Sam had made for me.
“I wouldn’t dare.” Stephen smiled and shook his head. “And you don’t have to worry about your coffee, either. The way you have, it is straight-up toxic. My liver would go into shock.”
“Nonsense, I have it all the time,” I scoffed as I walked away down the corridor.
Close to Home (A DI Mitchell Yorkshire Crime Thriller Book 4) Page 19