by Laura Ann
“Thank you,” Kinsley said softly. Her hand shook as she reached for the handle, and Sawyer pulled it out of reach.
“Let me help,” he said in a soft voice.
Kinsley’s first instinct was to refuse, but the moment felt much deeper than just him thinking she was weak. As he brought the straw to her mouth, their eyes stayed locked. Sawyer's large hand came to rest on her upper back, supporting her as she took in several long swallows. The cold water was a stark contrast to the heat traveling through her, growing hotter the longer she and Sawyer stared at each other.
When she was done, she leaned back a little and he removed his hand, only to brush a hair off her cheek. “Better?”
She nodded, words failing her in the face of his sweet care. This is not the Sawyer Lockwood I’ve gotten to know. Where’s his cocky and flirty attitude? Where’s the brooding stoicism I’ve come to expect from him?
“How are you feeling?” Her father drew her attention back to the other side of the bed. Garrett pulled up a chair and grabbed Kinsley’s hand, pressing it tightly between his own.
“Tired, but okay,” Kinsley answered honestly. She tried to stay focused on her dad, but her eyes kept drifting back to the silent bodyguard on her left. Everything felt better with him there. All her anxiety and fears of what had happened earlier seemed to drain away, and she knew he would do everything within his power to protect her. Now, if only he would be willing to stick around for longer than it takes us to catch the person trying to kill me.
GUILT AND SHAME RODE heavy on Sawyer’s shoulders as he watched Kinsley calm down her father. Garrett Storm was completely overwrought and had come rushing into the hospital like a hurricane, shouting and calling for his daughter.
Luckily, Sawyer had been able to intercept the older man before he’d accosted a nurse or doctor and gotten himself thrown out of the hospital. It had taken a considerable amount of effort to calm him down and wait for word on Kinsley’s condition.
The crew at Lockwood Industries had also been on pins and needles, asking for updates every few minutes, to the point where Sawyer had been ready to throw his phone out the window. Every text they sent was just another reminder that she had been hurt on his watch. I failed. I had one job, and I failed.
He sighed and pushed a hand through his hair. I shouldn’t even be here. She probably doesn’t want me here and would rather be assigned another bodyguard. He leaned onto his knees and hung his head. No matter how much he knew he didn’t belong, Sawyer couldn’t deny that he wanted to be there. He wanted to take care of her. He wanted to see that she got better, and he wanted to crush the person who had done this. Kinsley brought out more protective instincts in him than anyone he had ever known, and for a man who knew he was destined for the military since he was a young boy, that was saying something.
“Sawyer?” Kinsley’s soft voice brought him out of his self-loathing. “Are you all right?”
Sawyer huffed. “You’re the one in the hospital and you’re asking me if I’m all right?”
Kinsley lay back against her pillows and gave a soft smile. “You look so...sad.”
He swallowed hard. “I need to apologize to you.”
Kinsley frowned. “What?”
“I...I failed you.” Sawyer’s gaze dropped to the floor. He couldn’t bring himself to look her in the eye as he put himself at her mercy. Kinsley may be a nurturer, but she was also whip smart and got things done. She didn’t put up with failure.
“I don’t understand.”
“I was there to protect you,” Sawyer said, forcing himself to man up and look at her. “I didn’t do it. I have one job. One job!” he said through clenched teeth. “And I failed.”
“Sawyer,” she started. “No one blames you for this.”
Sawyer shook his head. “I do. I should have been better prepared.”
“How?” Garrett burst in. “According to the doctors, someone planted poison in her lunch.”
Kinsley gasped. “Really? I heard the doctors and nurses talking when I first came in, but everything was such a big blur...” Her bottom lip began to tremble. “Why is someone trying to kill me?”
“No,” Sawyer ground out, drawing the attention back to himself. He took a deep breath and shook his head. “The doctors confirmed there wasn’t enough strychnine in the food to kill you, but it was definitely enough to incapacitate you.” He deflated in his seat. “If they were trying to kill you, they’re pretty poor at research, because it actually doesn’t take very much strychnine to kill an adult. The fact that they used so little tells us they knew how to handle the stuff.”
“Incapacitate me? What exactly do you mean?” Kinsley’s eyes were heavy with unshed tears, and her pain tugged at Sawyer’s heart. He wanted to take all of this away from her, but it was out of his hands.
“I think they were trying to keep you from riding,” Sawyer stated.
“But they didn’t,” Kinsley pointed out. “I didn’t eat until after I rode because I was so nervous.”
Sawyer tried to stay calm as he helped her understand, but the audacity of whoever was doing these things had him infuriated. “But what’s your normal schedule, Kinsley? If you have a midday ride, do you usually eat beforehand?”
Kinsley opened her mouth, then snapped it shut. “Yes,” she said in a small voice. Those tears began to dribble down her cheeks. “They knew. They knew I would eat before my ride. They knew my schedule.”
Sawyer nodded slowly. He felt like a complete jerk pointing out that this was someone close to her.
Kinsley looked up at her dad, who was also crying. “Why would they do that? Is someone really that desperate to win?”
“I don’t know, honey,” Garrett soothed. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her head against his chest. “I just don’t know.”
Kinsley sniffled and grabbed a tissue from the side table to wipe her nose. “Maybe we need to notify the Executive Board.”
“No!” Sawyer practically shouted. He paused and cleared his throat when he realized how loud he had been. “Sorry. But you can’t tell anyone what’s going on.”
“Why not?” Mr. Storm asked forcefully. “This person has to be stopped.”
Sawyer stood up and put out his hand in a plea to the small family. “You’re right. They do.” His eyes locked with Kinsley’s. “Now more than ever. But if you go spreading word about it, odds are they’ll disappear and you’ll never catch them. The only way to get to the bottom of this is for you to stay quiet and alert. If the perpetrator feels safe in hurting you again, they’ll take another risk.”
Kinsley chewed on her lip. “That makes sense, but what if next time is too late?” She blinked several times and wiped at her eyes. “What if they actually do kill me?”
“Don’t say that,” Mr. Storm ground out, clutching her tighter.
Sawyer shook his head. “They’re not trying to kill you, I promise,” he assured her.
“You can’t know that for sure,” Kinsley argued, straightening up from her position against her dad. “Maybe they didn’t this time, but each time they’ve done something, it’s gotten worse.”
Sawyer closed his eyes and shook his head. “I’m sorry. I know this must feel terrifying, being in your position, but I honestly believe that if they wanted you dead, they would have done it by now.”
“That’s not reassuring,” Garrett said through clenched teeth. “And how do you propose to catch this person?”
Shame flooded through Sawyer and he forced himself to step back. “I won’t be,” he said softly. His heart broke a little more with every word, but he knew it had to be done.
“What?” Kinsley’s eyebrows furrowed together. “I don’t understand.”
“I won’t be the one catching him,” Sawyer said again. “I’m having myself removed from the case.”
A choking sound came from Kinsley and she put a fist over her mouth. “Why?” she finally rasped out, “Why would you do that?”
“Becaus
e I failed,” Sawyer said, his eyes frozen on hers. He knew Mr. Storm probably had plenty to say, but right now the only person that mattered was Kinsley. “I failed and you were hurt.” He shook his head and backed up further. “I won’t risk letting that happen again.” Sawyer’s back hit the door and he fumbled for the knob. “I’ve asked Harlan to step in. He’s the best of the best. You’ll be in good hands.”
Quickly, Sawyer slipped out before he had a chance for second thoughts. Kinsley’s whispered words as he left branded into his brain, and he knew they would forever haunt him.
“But I don’t want anyone else.”
CHAPTER 11
During the next twenty-four hours that Kinsley was stuck in the hospital, she cried more tears than she had in the last ten years combined. Having Sawyer walk out on her had broken her heart in ways she hadn’t realized it could be broken.
No matter how many times she reminded herself that their relationship had been fake, that he’d been acting, that their kisses meant nothing, her heart wouldn’t believe it.
Her father was no help. He had patted her hand and told her that maybe it was for the best. “He’s too emotionally involved,” he’d said. “Bringing someone else in who sees you only as a client might help them view the situation with more clarity. No extra feelings to muddy the waters.”
Kinsley had turned her back on her father, feigning sleep. I don’t want anyone else. I want him. No one will protect me like Sawyer will. It’s exactly because he cares that he’ll do the best job. My safety won’t matter as much to anyone else.
“Everything looks good.” The on-call doctor glanced at all Kinsley’s vitals. “I think we can get your paperwork going and let you get back to your own bed tonight.” He smiled. “Sound good to you?”
Kinsley nodded, but there was no excitement in the announcement. Ever since Sawyer had left, the world had seemed gray and boring.
“That’s good news,” her father said with an overly bright smile. “It’ll sure be nice to get home and take a shower.”
The doctor laughed lightly and nodded. “Great. Well, hang tight and we’ll start the discharge process.”
Time became a blur as the nurses went in and out, unplugging Kinsley from all her monitors, going through paperwork and insurance information. After changing into some sweats her father had brought her, she sat numbly on the bed and let her father handle anyone that came through the door.
“Looks like you’re good to go!” The perky nurse smiled wide. “Let’s hop in the wheelchair and your father can lead the way.”
Kinsley didn’t even bother to argue about the invalid treatment. She wasn’t sure how well her legs would hold up anyway. Her whole body felt thick and lethargic. Whether that was left over from yesterday’s episode or because her heart no longer worked properly, for the first time ever, Kinsley let someone baby her without even muttering a peep.
The ride home was silent. The atmosphere of the car felt thick with tension and despair. Although her brain seemed to be running a marathon, Kinsley couldn’t think of any way to break the awkwardness.
Her dad reached over and squeezed her knee. “Hang in there, kiddo. It’ll all turn out for the best.”
Kinsley shook her head and turned to look out the window. He doesn’t understand, she thought bitterly. I really thought I was falling for Sawyer, and he just walked away. He walked. A. Way. As if I meant nothing. As if those kisses didn’t shake him to his core. As if all those sparks were nothing more than ashes. How could I have been so stupid? How could I have not seen that he didn’t feel the same? What’s that stupid old cliché? Love is blind? She snorted. I’m not sure truer words have ever been spoken.
SAWYER HAD TUNED OUT Harlan’s lecture several minutes ago. Let him just get his anger off his chest and then we’ll get down to business. Currently, Harlan was pacing in front of Sawyer, shouting about professionalism and finishing what he started.
Sawyer stood at attention, his legs spread and his hands clasped behind his back. His face was stoic and the lack of emotion ran through his entire body. Ever since walking out on Kinsley, Sawyer had felt...dead.
Despite his best efforts, he’d started to fall for the model. Every time she stood up to him, every time he watched her muck stalls or talk to her horse. Every time he saw that there was so much more to her than wealth and beauty...he fell a little harder.
He’d tried to stop it. He’d scolded himself a thousand times, but it hadn’t mattered. The woman he thought would be a spoiled princess had ended up as the key to his heart instead.
And that is the real reason I had to walk away. I couldn’t let it go on. I was too close. Kinsley’s chances of being hurt were far greater with a distracted bodyguard, not to mention I couldn’t do that to Harlan.
Sawyer suddenly realized the room had gone quiet and he glanced at his brother. Harlan was standing patiently, his thighs resting against his desk and his arms folded over his chest. “Done with your internal monologue?” Harlan asked sarcastically.
Sawyer ground his teeth a little, but forced himself to stay calm. “Yes,” he said curtly.
“Good.” Harlan pushed off the desk and walked around to sit in his seat. “Then I think it’s time you went back to work.”
Sawyer waited, but Harlan didn’t speak any more. “What case do you want me to work on?” he finally asked.
Harlan looked up and raised an eyebrow. “The Storm case.”
Sawyer sputtered. “What? I already told you I needed to hand that one off.”
Harlan pursed his lips and nodded. “Yes, you did. But I don’t agree with you.”
Red hot anger was starting to boil, and Sawyer was having a hard time keeping it contained. He had already been an emotional wreck since he’d left the hospital, though he’d hidden it well. He’d shoved everything inside a tiny box in the back of his brain, but now that box was bursting open and Sawyer was scrambling to contain it. “I’m not the right man for the job,” he said through clenched teeth.
Harlan didn’t appear the slightest bit put out by Sawyer’s tone. “Then become the right man.”
Sawyer’s chest began to heave as he sucked in deep breaths and he pushed his hands through his curls. “I can’t, Har! Can’t you see that? I’m too close! I can’t protect her the way she deserves.” He growled and shook his head. “What good is a bodyguard who can’t see the danger?”
Harlan leaned back in his seat and clasped his hands in his lap. “Are you saying you want to quit our firm?”
“No! I just can’t do this case.”
Harlan narrowed his eyes. “What makes this case so difficult, Sawyer?” He leaned forward, his folded hands on his desk now. “Why are you able to guard someone else, but not Ms. Storm?”
“Because.” Sawyer’s fists clenched. Why is he pushing this? He has a whole bunch of other guards he could assign. Just let it go!
“Because isn’t good enough.”
“Because...I already failed her once.”
Harlan’s eyebrows raised. “So you think the perpetrator is smarter than you? That you won’t ever be able to catch him or her?”
“I never said that,” Sawyer ground out, stepping closer to the desk.
“You just said you can’t do this case, so what else am I supposed to think?” Harlan smirked, then went on. “If you can’t finish this case, how can I trust you with another one? How do I know you won’t walk away again, saying it isn’t for you?”
“Because I’m not in love with any other client!” Sawyer bellowed, hitting his fist on Harlan’s desk. Bringing his other hand up to rest on the desk, Sawyer hung his head between his arms, taking deep breaths to try and slow down his heart rate. He hadn’t meant to confess all that to Harlan, but maybe now his brother would understand his predicament.
“I see,” Harlan said softly.
When nothing more was said, Sawyer risked looking up. “You see what?”
Harlan shrugged and shook his head. “I just see. You only confirmed wha
t I’d already suspected.”
Sawyer snorted and stepped backward to slump into a chair. “Can you understand now why I want to be reassigned?”
“No.”
Sawyer rolled his eyes. “I’m too distracted, Har. She needs someone who will protect her.”
“And you’d honestly trust her protection to another man?” Harlan pressed. “You’d let me walk on in, play the part of her boyfriend?”
Sawyer felt a muscle twitch in his jaw as he thought of Harlan holding and kissing Kinsley. Jealousy, hot and raging, swept through him.
“Because you know it’d have to be one of us triplets. We’ve already established a cover. We can’t blow it now.”
“Y...” Sawyer took a deep breath, trying to force himself to answer. “I...” He hung his head. “I don’t know.” He wanted to be able to let someone else take over, but Harlan was right. Sawyer wasn’t sure he could let someone else take his place without tearing the guy’s head off.
“And how does Ms. Storm feel about all this?” Harlan asked quietly.
Sawyer shrugged. “We’ve never really talked about it.”
“But?”
“But I think she feels the same.”
Harlan sighed and scrubbed his face with his hands. “Apparently turning us boys into bodyguards was all Mom needed to do in order to marry us off.” He chuckled harshly. “Too bad she’s not here to see it.”
Sawyer had nothing to say to that.
“Go, Sawyer. Don’t keep her waiting, but be sure to get rid of whoever is hurting her. You two won’t be free until you do.”
Sawyer’s head jerked up. “You can’t be serious.”
Harlan frowned, obviously confused.
“You’re...giving me your blessing?”
Harlan shrugged. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because all your employees are falling like Cupid’s been on a drinking binge!” Sawyer leaned forward. “How can you be so calm about that? Doesn’t it bother you?”