I heard him walk away then turned my attention to the folder. I searched the picture of Aaron’s father, looking for something, I’m not sure what. Maybe some way to redeem myself.
Then I paged through the photos of the other targets. They only had a few, and a few weren’t even my assignments. I paged through the files over and over again, replaying the assignments, Reg’s and some of the others, trying to determine how many people I had affected. “Affected” was a gentle word. Killed? Ruined?
I stared endlessly at these people. Besides Reg, they were all nameless, only I knew that wasn’t true. They all had names, and families, and friends. I felt my head dip and fought to pull it back up and keep my eyes open. I was exhausted. My energy flickered like the last embers in a burnt-out fire.
“You need rest,” Brody said from beside me. I hadn’t even heard him approach.
“I’m fine,” I said, rubbing my eyes, aware that Brody was tired as well but seemed to be better at hiding it.
“No, you need rest.” He stood up and pulled me out of the chair. My body was twitchy. I had aches and pains, and my legs were rubbery. Aaron really did a number on me, but I couldn’t blame him.
My legs almost dropped out beneath me. Brody caught me and swept me up in his arms. “Let me down,” I said weakly, embarrassed that I was being carried like a child. He ignored me and carried me to a curtain which was located next to the small door that led to the bathroom. My eyes drooped. Brody brushed the curtain aside to reveal cots. I was able to lift my eyelids enough to see that no one occupied them. My words slurred. “These are your beds?”
Brody tenderly placed me on a cot. I curled my legs up close to my body. Brody walked over to a shelf and grabbed a nubby navy-blue blanket. He covered me and tucked me in around my shoulders. I was drowsy, but not too drowsy to still be curious. “Why are you so nice to me?” I said, my rough voice cracking in the quiet of the small room. “After all I’ve done to you and your friends. Why?” I couldn’t keep my eyes open. It was like I had been drugged.
Brody’s hands froze mid-tuck. His lips closed tightly like he was searching for an answer. He reached down and brushed some hair off my face, and I was too tired to flinch back in surprise. “Most of the time, when people do bad things, it’s not because they’re bad, but because they’re put in a bad circumstance.” I searched his eyes, sensing a double meaning. He seemed like he wasn’t just talking about me. I was suddenly a little less sleepy than I had been moments ago. “I don’t think you’re a bad person, Meda.”
“What about those Agency men that you blew up back at the cabin? You understand that some of the people at the Agency are not there by choice.”
“Our intention wasn’t to hurt anyone. It was to throw them off. There was an alarm upstairs warning them to get out. The purpose was to fake your death. We left some artifacts behind so that they might think we were still there.”
“What do you mean, artifacts?” I was confused.
“Human artifacts that we collected from a cemetery.” Brody winced as he said it.
“That’s…creative,” I replied. Brody pulled his hand back and turned to walk out of the room. He looked back at me, his eyes softening with sympathy. “Thank you, Brody,” I said, almost inaudibly.
When he got outside the room, I saw the shadow of someone approaching. Brody pulled the curtain closed, but not completely, and I could see Aaron step up to Brody in the open sliver of curtain. “She needs sleep,” Brody whispered.
“Did you cuff her?” Aaron asked. “Because I’m pretty sure you didn’t.” Aaron held up the cuffs, which glinted in the cold glow of the digital lights on the electronics.
“I’m not putting those on her.” Brody pushed by Aaron and disappeared out of the open curtain. I could only see Aaron.
“Brody, don’t be stupid. Don’t let being the good guy cloud your judgment. We can’t leave her wandering around here with the ability to turn into any one of us.”
“She’s with us, Aaron. She told me everything,” Brody defended me. I still didn’t understand why.
“How can you be sure? She’s an actress. She told you that herself. That’s her job.” Aaron was waving his hands around, the cuffs clinking together.
Brody stepped back in my vision and was inches away from Aaron’s face. “She’s a prisoner. She was before, and now she is again. Anyway, I’m sure she can’t even move after you beat the shit out of her. I need you to drop it.”
Aaron swallowed. “I lost control. But she is a monster. You have to see that,” he said.
“The only monster I see is you, pounding the shit out of a girl less than half your size. All I can tell you is that it better not happen again. I will not stand by next time.” Brody turned his back and walked away from Aaron.
“Don’t forget what she’s done,” Aaron called after Brody.
I could still see Aaron in the doorway. He turned, his eyes burning through the darkness. He quietly whispered the words, and I knew they weren’t meant for Brody. “Don’t forget Angela.” I closed my eyes into slits. It was dark in the room, and I was sure that Aaron couldn’t see me in the dark, but the way he stood in the doorway, staring into the room, gave me goosebumps.
chapter 8
When I awoke, my senses were struck by the smell of musty linens and a low hum that filled the bunker. The remaining beds in the room were still empty and made with plain gray blankets that looked old enough to be hand-me-downs. It didn’t appear as though anyone else had come in. I let out a huge sigh. It would have been awkward waking up to this strange room and have it full of sleeping boys.
I sat up, unsure of what to do. I didn’t want to leave the room for fear that I’d run into Aaron or Dan, or Brody for that matter. But more specifically, I was afraid of the way Aaron had looked at me. I tried to imagine how I would feel if I was in Aaron’s position. I could see it clearly. Forgiveness was not an option.
I was lost in my own thoughts when Dan rushed through the curtain and into the room. I flinched awkwardly. Because I was sitting up, I couldn’t even pretend I was still sleeping. Dan, his floppy hair a mess and his eyes rimmed red, looked at me and said, “Oh good, you’re awake.” He plopped down on one of the empty cots, immediately throwing his arm over his forehead and talking to me like I was not a prisoner. “I have to crash in an actual bed for a little while. Don’t mind me.” He was breathing heavily in moments.
“By all means,” I said quietly. I decided to leave the room because I felt even creepier watching Dan sleep. I tried not to rustle the covers too much as my feet padded on the cold concrete.
I tiptoed out of the room, even though there was no chance that I would be able to wake Dan. I stopped at the curtain that separated this “bedroom” from the other designated areas of the bunker and looked back. This room was just as plain as the others. Some kind of concrete, block walls, and no decorations. The entire room was gray and dreary.
I quickly ran my hands down the front of the wrinkled scrubs, trying to rub them smooth, which was silly, trying to make myself presentable for my captors. Then, I forced myself to reach my hand out and slowly pull the curtain aside. I scanned the room first. Brody and Aaron were nowhere in sight. They could have been in the kitchenette area, or some other area that I hadn’t yet been introduced to, and that was fine with me.
I slowly walked over to the table where the files remained exactly where they were when I left them last night, if it was even morning. It was difficult to tell in the windowless underground bunker. Time had become a peripheral vision over the last couple days. I was aware of it passing, but the details were fuzzy. I slid into the chair that I sat in last night.
Shuffling through the pictures again, I looked for one in particular. Aaron’s father stared back at me with his darkened, thoughtful eyes, eyes that had seemed confused and muddled the last time I saw them. There was a paperclip attached to the top right corner of the photo that I hadn’t noticed last night. I removed it and flipped to two picture
s that were attached. One was a picture of a beautiful middle-aged woman. I slowly slid the final picture out from behind the photo of Aaron’s mom. I touched the hair of the smiling teenager. She had Aaron’s eyes and the same blond hair. Angela.
I stared at the picture, trying to push the feelings away. This was once a real girl, not just a photo. She had a kind smile, and her eyes sparkled. I imagined her and Aaron sitting on the couch, joking around with each other. The real Aaron, what he was like before all of this. Because the Aaron I knew wasn’t the Aaron that was. He was the Aaron that was created. Much like I was created by the circumstances I was put in that were beyond my control. Only Aaron wasn’t allowed the opportunity to save his sister, like I was.
I clenched my fists and closed my eyes. I could picture Aaron finding his own sister, facedown in his bedroom, body limp, and nothing he could do to help her. For his entire life he was probably told to look after his sister, and this one time when she went looking for him and he wasn’t there, the unimaginable happened. He probably felt that he should have died with his family, much like I sometimes felt that my death would make everything better in my own family.
Taking a breath, I looked at the photo one final time. This poor young girl’s life had been cut down so early, and everyone who knew Aaron’s family was tricked into believing that Aaron’s dad had killed his wife and his own daughter when, in truth, he was only trying to protect them. He was trying to make sure that they lived in a world without lies and unnecessary death. And it was all my fault. Tears escaped my eyes, and I wiped the back of my wrist across my face.
The large door opened with a soft, whining squeak, and Aaron strode through with Brody stepping closely behind. I quickly shuffled the pictures around and tried to wipe the tears from my face. I jerked up from the table as though they caught me doing something I shouldn’t be doing.
Aaron walked by me, moving towards the bedroom. He paused at my side. I could feel him breathing down on me as he looked down at the table. I followed his eyes. The photos weren’t on top of the pile, which I was glad for. I tried to make myself smaller, hoping he wouldn’t notice me even though he was standing right next to me. Without looking at him, I could see his head turn back to Brody. Only seconds later, he let out a sharp breath and knocked into me as he walked by, causing me to stumble back and catch myself on the table. A few papers fluttered to the floor, and I reached down to pick them up.
Brody crouched down to help me, but I shook my head. I gathered the papers up and turned in the direction of Aaron. “Aaron,’ I called out softly, unable to stop myself from speaking.
Aaron slowly turned around, anger and pain fresh on his face. The words must have been on the tip of his tongue. “You know what pisses me off the most?” He paused and shook his head. “You walk around here like you haven’t done a goddamn thing wrong.” He took a step towards me and pointed a finger at me. “You killed my father. You framed him. You made him look crazy.” Spit flew from his mouth. He was breathing heavily, and his words were sharp, stinging.
“I…I’m so sorry, Aaron.” I paused, putting the files down on the table. My words sounded so small compared to what I had done. “I had no idea.” I clasped my hands together, willing him to forgive me. I moved closer to him. “You have to believe me.”
Aaron stared at me, and I could see his lip beginning to tremble. There was something more he wanted to say. I held my breath. Then, Aaron shook his head. He turned, a dismissal, and disappeared behind the curtain into the room with the cots. I stood, staring at the curtain. I knew that there was nothing I could say that would make up for what I had done, but now that I knew the truth, I wouldn’t stop trying.
A hand landed on my shoulder. I’d forgotten that Brody was in the room, and immediately, my attention turned to him rather than Aaron. All of my senses focused on the spot where he touched me. “Come on,” Brody nodded at me.
“But I can’t…I can’t ever make it right,” I said, crossing my arms into myself, more exhausted than anything.
“Let’s have some coffee,” he said, his hand still on my shoulder, leading me back through the metal door and into the kitchenette. He pulled out a chair for me, and I slid into it. He went over to the coffee machine and poured two cups, adding some powdered creamer to it.
We sat there at the small metal table with warm steaming mugs in front of us. I sipped on mine, my mind still on Aaron but trying to push it away and focus on what my next move should be. Brody’s voice interrupted my thoughts. “So, there is something you can do to help make up for…it.” I looked up from my coffee, startled at the sound of his voice breaking through the quiet. “You can work with us to take down the people responsible for all of this.” He spun his coffee cup around.
I roughly swallowed and licked my lips. “Brody, I’ll do whatever is in my power, but you have to understand that I don’t have much power.” Even with a night’s sleep, I was exhausted. And defeated.
Brody nodded slowly and took a sip of his coffee, then continued. “Okay, well first things first. We need collateral. We need something that legitimizes us because, as you are aware, we’re just a bunch of teenagers.” I raised my eyebrows at him. I shouldn’t have been surprised that he spoke the exact words that I had been thinking from the moment they took me. He wasn’t only kind and strong, but smart as well.
I leaned forward, bringing the warm drink to my lips and considering what he said. Putting the cup back down, I pulled my legs up and crossed them on the chair. “What were you thinking?”
Brody placed both hands down on the table. “Well, we have to make a video.”
I studied the serious look on his face, unsure of what to make of it. “What do you mean?” I asked, folding my hands together.
“We have to make a video showing that mimics are real. A video that could be revealed should anything happen to us. A video that we would give to Dan’s family to release, in case they notice that we aren’t acting in a way that we normally would.” He must have seen the look on my face because then he added, “Don’t worry. We won’t have video of the real you. You’ll just turn into other people. It will be completely anonymous. Then, we’ll meet with some of Reg’s contacts, some of the men that helped us get this far, and they will tell us our next step. We already gave them the intel on your original mission.” I couldn’t help my eyebrows creasing as I took in this new bit of information, but I didn’t have the energy to process it. Brody took a sip of his coffee. I shifted nervously in my seat, and the chair made a soft scraping noise on the floor.
Brody leaned in and spoke softly. “Meda, I don’t want you to worry about Aaron right now.”
I ran my hand through my hair and sighed. “How can I not? After all that I did to him? How can you not be thinking about that?”
“Eventually he will realize the big picture, like I have. You didn’t do this to him. They did it to him. You were just the tool that they used. But until he realizes that, I’ll be in charge of making sure that he’s calm. And he will get there. He’s a smart guy.” Brody turned and looked at the kitchenette door.
I nodded. I took a sip of my coffee then put the mug down. “So, when do you want to do this video?” I couldn’t believe I was saying those words. Everything in me told me I had to hide what I was.
“Well, we have the equipment right now. Are you able to…” Brody paused, searching for the right words, but I knew what he was trying to say.
“Once I’ve shifted into someone, I am able to shift into them whenever I want. It’s stored.” I tapped my temple. Brody considered what I said, then smiled, a real genuine smile that seemed to show he was impressed. I wasn’t used to that reaction. The usual reaction was horror and fear.
“So, do you know how many you have stored up in that head of yours?” He leaned closer, a boyish excitement gleaming in his eyes.
“I have quite a few, but it depends on what you want.” I shrugged my shoulders, feeling a little cocky.
He paused in thought,
then continued, “Well, a video is not going to prove everything. They could say that it was edited. But it’s a start.” Brody put his hands on the table and pushed himself up. “So, let’s do this. Let’s bring back the dead.”
chapter 9
Brody led me out the heavy metal door of the bunker and into a wooded forest. I filled my lungs with fresh air, and I could finally see that it was daytime. Growing up, I had only been in the country a few times. It was a luxury for us to get away from the city. The green earthy smell reminded me of my dad. My sisters. I pushed those thoughts away. They were dangerous.
Brody wanted to film outside to get better lighting, not the incandescent lighting of the bunker. I watched as his muscles strained with the weight of the cases of equipment he carried. I sat by a tree, looking up into the branches as the sun broke through the cover and permeated my skin. I had always felt like I was solar-powered, like the sun gave me energy. Once I was taken into captivity, the only time I saw the sun was on rare day missions. I’d like to think that my draw to nature had to do with my native background that I, in fact, was completely clueless about, but it was a tiny thread that connected me to my mother.
It was one of those fall days that was just warm enough to go jacketless, but not too hot. I heard the latches click on the camera case, and as I watched Brody begin to assemble a tripod, I twisted my hands together, my nerves getting the best of me. I wasn’t sure how Brody was going to react to me shifting, and even though he had experienced it, seeing it was completely different. Brody was the last person I wanted to think of me as a monster.
He came over and dropped his body heavily in the grass beside me as he paged through the files that he brought outside with him. He showed me a few and seemed to consider my thoughts. As we talked, I rubbed my wrists, aware that there were no cuffs binding me out here in the daylight, in the wide open. For a second, I imagined what would happen if I made a run for it, but I blocked that thought out. There was nowhere to go, and I was weak and tired and wouldn’t be able to travel far.
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