Chapter 7
“What’s wrong with you? You’re quiet.”
Lacy and Tosh sat on his sofa, eating takeout and not talking, at least until Tosh spoke, alerting her to the fact that she was in her own little world.
“Oh, you know--drama and Christmas. Apparently they go hand in hand.”
Tosh nodded, then changed to a head shake mid-nod. “No, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Why would drama and Christmas go hand in hand?”
“I guess they only do if you live in my family,” she said. “If you ever met my sister, you would know what I’m talking about. Every year it was something. When she was little it was a huge buildup as she regaled us daily with her list of Christmas demands. Then there was the disappointment because she hadn’t received what she wanted. When she was older, she was always fighting with a friend or boyfriend, or she was mad at me because she thought I had received better presents.”
“Maybe you’re not just angry at Riley because she stole Robert. Maybe you’re angry at her for a lot of different reasons,” Tosh said.
If she didn’t know that Tosh had good intentions, then it would annoy her when he assumed his “pastor” voice with her. As it was, she knew he sincerely cared about her and her problems, and that made her think twice about what he said. “Maybe. I don’t like to think of myself as one of those people always whining about my childhood, especially when my childhood was so good. But I did get tired of Riley’s constant drama and need to be the center of attention.”
“Everyone has baggage,” Tosh said, shrugging. “Just because your childhood was good doesn’t mean it was perfect.”
“I suppose,” she said, ready to change the subject. “Speaking of family, are you going to Chicago for Christmas?”
“Yes, but not until the day after. I have too much going on here.” He sighed, sounding exhausted.
“Poor Tosh,” Lacy said.
He smiled. “I can’t really complain about my job. Who complains because he has to go to too many Christmas parties?”
“You’re tired,” she defended. “It’s okay to say you’re tired.”
“I’m tired,” he admitted, reaching out to steal some of her sweet and sour chicken. She used the opportunity to steal some of his beef and broccoli, and they decided to exchange containers for a while.
“I’m tired of not seeing you,” she said. “I miss you. You can’t believe how lonely this town is when you’re not around. That reminds me—can you come to our holiday party on Christmas Eve?”
“I have to give the Christmas Eve service at church, but that’s not until late. I think I can make it to the party for a while first.” They ate in silence for a while, and his happy smile slowly slid away. “Is he going to be there?”
There was no need to ask who “he” was. Jason and Tosh had a certain telling tone when they referred to each other.
“If he can sneak by during work,” Lacy said. “He’s working as much overtime as you are.”
Tosh nodded, wisely letting the subject drop. “I procured some extra fortune cookies for you,” he said, pointing to the pile of cookies on the coffee table.
“Just one of the many reasons I love you,” Lacy said. She had no idea why it was so easy to be with Tosh, to tell him how much he meant to her, and to pour out her heart to him. There wasn’t anything she couldn’t talk to him about, unless it was the possibility of them being more than friends. She was still uncomfortable with that subject. “Tosh, did you buy me a gold locket for Christmas, send it to my house, and tell me not to open it until Christmas?”
“No. Do you want me to?”
She shook her head. “Someone already did.”
“Oh.” His chopsticks scraped roughly against the side of his container. “Think it was him?”
“I don’t think so,” Lacy said, not sure if she believed it or not. Unlike Tosh, she couldn’t ask Jason directly. If he hadn’t sent it, she would be embarrassed that she had thought so in the first place. Their relationship was tricky and strange. Most of the time she had no idea where she stood with him or why, for instance, he would kiss her one night and be with another woman the following night. Her mind strayed to the pretty blond at the coffee shop. Jason insisted he didn’t have a girlfriend, but that was twice Lacy had seen him with the mystery woman.
“I’ve lost you again,” Tosh said.
“Sorry,” she said. “I’m feeling a little blue, I guess.”
“Me too. Don’t tell anyone I said so, but this season is wearing me out. Where does the shepherd go when his sheep are exhausting him?”
“To his friends,” Lacy said. Setting aside their containers of food, she moved close and hugged Tosh. He rested his head on hers and gave her a squeeze. “I know something else that will make you feel better, Tosh. It’s in my bag.”
“Don’t tell me,” Tosh said, sounding pained.
Lacy nodded. “You know what it’s time for. Don’t pretend you don’t like it.”
“I’m not pretending,” he said.
She broke free of his grasp and retrieved her bag from beside the couch. “C’mon, Tosh, I heard you singing along a couple of weeks ago.”
“That’s because those songs worm their way into your head like a virus. I can’t not sing them. Even when I’m preaching a sermon, they pop into my head and it’s all I can do not to start tap dancing across the platform.”
“Maybe you should,” she suggested, fishing out her copy of White Christmas and holding it aloft. Tosh groaned.
“How many times are you going to make me watch this?”
“As many times as it takes,” Lacy replied. She left the couch to put the movie in the player.
“As many times as it takes until what?”
“Until we’re both filled with the Christmas spirit,” Lacy replied.
“You can’t get Christmas spirit from a movie. Christmas spirit comes from the joy of…”
Lacy pressed her fingers to his lips. “Save the sermon, Reverend Underhill. You know what I mean; it’s impossible to watch this movie and not be cheered. Let’s just watch and enjoy the mental break.”
“Okay,” Tosh agreed, settling back against the couch so that his head rested on the bolster. He began humming along as soon as the music started, and Lacy smiled, immersing herself in one of her favorite movies.
The movie ended and Lacy felt the way she always felt when she watched it—warm and nostalgic. She felt like going home and staring at the Christmas tree, and then she remembered they hadn’t put up the tree yet. It was in storage, and Lacy had been meaning to ask Tosh to retrieve it so she wouldn’t have to crawl into the spider-filled attic, but he had been so busy, he hadn’t had the time. Now she turned to him, prepared to ask, but he was asleep.
Lacy shook her head, still smiling as she stood and retrieved a blanket from his room. What is it about me that puts men to sleep? After tucking the blanket around Tosh and swiping his hair out of his eyes, she bestowed a kiss on his forehead and let herself out of his house, jogging home in the dark for the second night in a row.
When she arrived home, she paused in the living room, staring at the barren corner where the Christmas tree should be. Maybe the lack of a tree was the cause of her missing Christmas spirit.
We’ll put it up tomorrow, she promised herself, Tosh or no Tosh, tomorrow is tree day. Bypassing the tree-less living room, she went to her bedroom and sat on the edge of her bed, admiring the gold locket on her nightstand. She picked up the box and brought it closer, taking in the details of the intricate filigree. Tosh hadn’t sent it; that was one person marked off her list of three possible candidates. Ruling out her grandfather should be her next option, but she wasn’t sure how to ask him. In the midst of so much emotional turmoil with her mother, focusing on whether or not he sent her a locket seemed self-centered in the extreme. But she was dying to know where it came from.
Face it—you’re just dying to know if it came from Jason.
Shaking
her head at her traitorous inner monologue, she set the box on the bed and lay down, staring at the ceiling instead of falling asleep. What were Robert and Riley doing now? No doubt they were at some fabulous event in the Hamptons. Had Riley gone into debt to buy a Hampton-worthy wardrobe? Or had she begged and borrowed from friends until she assembled something appropriate? Like their biological grandmother, Riley had always possessed the ability to make people give her things.
Lacy scowled at the ceiling, once again trying to push away her unhealthy thoughts. Maybe Tosh was right; maybe her anger at Riley had less to do with Robert and more to do with old scars from her childhood. How often had her mother made Lacy give up whatever Riley wanted, just to keep the peace? More times than she could remember. And her grandmother had always been a source of solace during those times, often secretly buying Lacy a replacement toy and allowing her to keep it hidden at her house so she didn’t have to give it to Riley.
As if to heap guilt on top of her already miserable head, Lacy began to remember the good times with her sister. True, she was occasionally selfish and demanding. But she had also been fun. They had laughed and giggled their way through every Christmas, inevitably winding up in trouble for staying up too late. Riley had talked Lacy into some crazy stunts, like the time they tried to climb onto the roof to wait for Santa. Thankfully, their father had caught them when they were only halfway up the ladder and before they made it onto the icy roof.
I miss you, Riley, she thought, swiping impatiently at her tears and wondering if her sister missed her in return. Was she happy with Robert? Did she feel even an iota of guilt for what she had done? Or did she feel justified in taking Robert, as their mother had justified the action by pointing out that Robert and Riley were a better match.
Those words had a struck a blow, even if her mother hadn’t intended them to. Handsome and charming, Lacy had always secretly felt that Robert was out of her league. She who was quiet and reserved, who enjoyed staying in to read a book on a Saturday night as much as he had enjoyed going out. When they were together, he had lovingly said it was their differences that made them work. She had kept him steady, and he had kept her fun. He hadn’t exactly said it in those terms—his words had been much smoother and more honeyed—but the gist had been the same. Lacy had credited herself for having so much substance that she had attracted someone everyone else wanted. Robert had bypassed all the pretty and fluffy blonds, zeroing in on her from her very first day at their firm. And then her own sister had been his downfall. How humiliating.
All her old insecurities rushed up to meet her. With her red hair and hourglass figure, she was a throwback to a different time. Men today wanted tall, stick-thin blonds, didn’t they? She was too quiet and reserved with her emotions. She had never been a game player, never mastered the art of flirting or dating. Basically, she was all wrong.
She rolled to her side, feeling very sorry for herself, when her eyes landed on the locket propped on her bedside. Someone, somewhere loves me, she thought. Feeling oddly comforted by the thought of her secret admirer, she finally fell asleep.
Christmas Steele, A Lacy Steele Mystery Bonus Novella Page 7