Now she could not deny that this was something very real. It was utterly unnerving.
They reached the table to find their friends drinking bottled lemonade. Hal was entertaining the ladies with a magic trick. He was pulling a penny from Mamie’s ear. She laughed with delight as though she’d never seen this done before.
“You are returned at last!” Hal said, tossing the coin onto the table as he stood up. “Did you have success? I couldn’t see what you were doing. You seemed to have disappeared behind the shrubbery.”
“We were on the other side of the pavilion,” Douglas answered. “Miss McNeil is an excellent teacher. Her advice about using Morse code worked like a charm.”
Surprised to hear Douglas speaking so casually, Alice turned to give him a disbelieving look. He looked flushed, but in a way that could easily be put down to the exertion of dancing on a warm evening.
“Do you mean to tell me your toes are intact?” Hal aimed this remark at Alice.
“Indeed they are.” She tried to smile as she said this, but she wasn’t able to shake off the powerful effects of that kiss as neatly as Douglas had. Her lips still felt the ghost of his touch.
Hal clapped his hands. “That’s wonderful news! It should bring great happiness to Miss Ro—er, to the ladies.”
Douglas grimaced. Alice supposed he must be tired of his friend’s teasing. She sank down gratefully on the chair Douglas pulled out for her, which brought her to eye level with Lucy.
Lucy studied her with a frown. Unfortunately, Lucy was usually able to read Alice’s emotions with surprising accuracy. To deflect Lucy’s intent gaze from her burning cheeks, Alice pointed toward their drinks. “Is that lemonade?”
“We got one for you,” Hal said, extending a bottle toward her. “I imagine you’re thirsty after all that exertion.” He took a seat across the table from her. Although his manner was casual, he, too, had a sharp gaze. Alice suspected that, like Lucy, he didn’t miss much.
Alice accepted the bottle, taking a moment to enjoy its chill against her sweating hands. Then she took a sip, thankful for the refreshing cool liquid as it slid down her throat.
Hal lifted a bottle toward Douglas, who had remained standing, since there were no more chairs. “I treated the ladies, but you owe me a sixpence,” he said as Douglas accepted the bottle. He accompanied this remark with a smile and a wink that showed he was joking.
“Why don’t we just subtract it from the two shillings you owe me?” Douglas answered with a grin.
“Done. So, tell us all about it. I still can’t believe Miss McNeil managed to cure those two useless feet of yours.”
This time, Douglas seemed to take his friend’s teasing in stride. “It was amazing, really. There was this moment when it finally clicked in my mind, like a key turning a lock. In the end, there’s not much to it, is there? I mean, there is, but it’s not so hard to piece it all together.” He was speaking with almost unnatural rapidity, and he must have realized it, for he paused. He smiled at Alice. His warm eyes gleamed, but she was drawn to his appealing smile and the full lips that had been pressed to hers. . . .
Alice gulped. She pretended to take another sip of lemonade in an attempt to hide the fact that she was unable to breathe.
Hal sat back in his chair. “Would you two care to show us what you learned?”
A brief shadow crossed Douglas’s face. Alice didn’t know what he was thinking, but she knew she could not trust herself to be in his arms again. Certainly not in front of Lucy and the others.
Douglas tugged Hal up from his chair. “Why don’t you and Mamie take a turn? It was kind of you to wait on us, but I can see Mamie is tired of sitting here.”
“That’s a brilliant idea!” said Mamie. “Come on, Hal. My feet are itching to dance!”
Hal didn’t need persuading. “Watch us for a few pointers,” he said and took Mamie off to join the other couples. They were soon caught up in a sprightly polka. Mamie’s laugh was audible above the music as Hal twirled her energetically around the dance floor.
Douglas took the chair Hal had vacated. He gave a deep sigh and pulled out a handkerchief to wipe his brow. Alice realized the upbeat demeanor he’d displayed moments ago had been primarily for Hal’s benefit. Perhaps he was as worried as she was that the others might guess the two of them had shared more than a dance. The thought set her cheeks burning so hotly that it took all her strength of will to keep from pressing the cool lemonade bottle against her face. She didn’t want to draw attention to her discomfort.
Douglas looked unsure what to say next. His gaze rested briefly on Alice, and it seemed to transmit many things—above all, a sincere tenderness that made her heart gallop. Not trusting herself to speak, Alice took another sip of lemonade. She expected Lucy to fill the void, but her friend merely frowned and said nothing.
Douglas turned his gaze to the dancers. With a crooked grin, he picked up the penny and began to idly tap it on the metal table. After a moment, Alice realized that the sounds were not as random as his posture indicated. He was sending her a message in Morse code. T-H-A-N-K Y-O-U.
She took in a breath as impudently happy feelings ran around her heart. Douglas glanced at her to see if she’d caught on. She gave him a brief nod. She was sure that if she were to tap out her response, Lucy would notice what was happening. Alice wanted to keep this just between herself and Douglas.
Lucy finished off her lemonade and set the empty bottle on the table with a decided clink.
“I apologize if we left you too long with Hal and Mamie,” Douglas said, noticing Lucy’s obvious irritation. “It can be trying to spend too much time with them.”
“Nonsense, it has been a pleasant afternoon,” Lucy answered, although her voice was strained. “Nevertheless, Alice and I ought to be going home. It wouldn’t do for us to be out on a Saturday night, what with Alice a single woman and I without my husband present. There is a good reason society has these strictures in place. If women are out and about by themselves, it is easy for them to fall prey to unscrupulous men.”
There was a time—right up until an hour ago, in fact—when Alice would have scoffed at this notion. Although she had always been careful not to place herself in potentially dangerous situations, she’d never been overly concerned about whether being out and about on her own was “acceptable.” Now she saw only too clearly that there could be truth behind the dire warnings of prim matrons. Just thinking about how easily she’d succumbed to Douglas’s kiss—and in a public place!—showed Alice that she could be just as vulnerable as more weak-minded women.
She could understand Lucy’s agitation, but she did not think it was entirely justified. Lucy was neither Alice’s mother nor her guardian. Since her marriage, Lucy had often fussed over Alice’s determination to remain single and “unprotected.” Yet never before had she acted like an overbearing chaperone.
“I understand.” Douglas nodded to signify he was in full agreement with Lucy’s words. “Perhaps I might escort you home, in order to ensure no one attempts to bother you along the way?”
He either hadn’t caught on that Lucy had implied he was one of those “unscrupulous men,” or else he was doing an excellent job of pretending otherwise.
Lucy gave a firm shake of her head. “I thank you for the offer, Mr. Shaw, but there is no need. We shall take a cab home, rather than the train, and I’ll ensure that Alice gets home safely.”
She pushed back her chair, and Douglas quickly rose to help her up. “Then I’ll accompany you to the cab rank.” He gave her a diffident smile. “I’m not much of an escort, but I’m afraid I’m the best you have at present.”
Lucy looked up at him, appraising his words. Alice could see another refusal on the tip of her tongue. Was Lucy really so angry that she’d turn away this polite offer? But after a moment, she gave a nod. “That’s very kind of you, Mr. Shaw.”
Alice was glad her friend had relented. The worst possible thing would be to end this evening on a sour note. Lucy
could sit firmly on her high horse when it came to Douglas, but Alice had to work with him every day. She couldn’t afford to antagonize him—not if she wanted to maintain a productive relationship at the office.
The walk to the cabs was mercifully short, yet not nearly long enough. Alice continued to battle contradictory emotions. The current atmosphere between the three of them was far removed from the earlier friendliness of the afternoon. She was sorry for this.
On the other hand, would she change anything about what had happened? Would she prefer not knowing just how wonderful his kiss could be? She was not prepared to answer that question. Not now, at any rate, while she was in the heat of it. Not while she felt so intensely aware of the man walking next to her, as though every nerve were trying to imprint the sensation of his closeness into her memory.
Douglas helped Lucy into the cab first and then Alice. Once she was in, he gave her hand a little squeeze before letting go. A subtle gesture, but filled with meaning. The problem was that Alice had no idea what it meant. She heartily wished she could decode that message as easily as the dots and dashes that flooded her ears every day.
“I will see you bright and early on Monday, Miss McNeil,” Douglas said.
“Yes,” she answered, gazing into his eyes. It came out as a breathless sigh. No, no, that’s completely wrong. She straightened and cleared her throat. “I’m sure it will be busy, what with the contract details being hammered out for the Portland deal. Not to mention keeping up with the progress of the shipments from Savannah.”
That sounded better. Crisp and businesslike.
“Indeed.” Douglas nodded seriously. “There will be plenty of work waiting for us.”
There would be more than merely work to face on Monday, Alice thought gloomily. There would also be Archie Clapper.
From the moment Hal had invited them to the tea dance, Alice had not thought once about him. Now she recalled the events at the lecture hall with a heavy sense of dread. What would be the ramifications of what had happened there today?
“Where to?” asked the driver, ready to get on with his fare.
Alice gave him the address of her lodgings. She leaned back in her seat, determined not to seek another glimpse of Douglas as the carriage rolled down the drive toward the London road. She did send a quick glance at Lucy, who was looking straight ahead, her mouth closed in a thin line.
After they’d been traveling for several minutes, Lucy finally spoke. “You need to be careful, my dear. That man is not to be trusted.”
Alice shook her head. “What makes you say that? I believe he is honest and straightforward.” She meant this, despite all that had happened.
“You may change your mind about him,” Lucy replied.
Alice turned toward her. “Why are you so upset that I danced with Douglas?” Too late, she realized she’d used his Christian name.
Sure enough, Lucy’s eyes narrowed. “I feel sure you did more than simply dance with him,” she challenged.
“No,” Alice said, the bald lie rolling off her tongue before she could stop it.
Lucy cocked a disbelieving brow. “I know it’s easy to become enamored with such a handsome and engaging man. I won’t deny he turned my head when I first saw him. However, I learned something very interesting from Mamie while you two were off dancing. Something I think you should know.”
This grim announcement threatened to do more damage to Alice’s tattered emotions. She swallowed. “What is it?”
“Hal went off to buy the lemonade, leaving Mamie and I alone at the table. Mamie said she hoped Douglas was successful in learning to dance, as there was so much riding on it. I asked her what she meant. She looked embarrassed and then asked me point-blank if you were in love with him! I told her certainly not.”
“Quite right,” Alice said, although she couldn’t put any feeling into the words.
“Mamie looked relieved,” Lucy went on. “She said that was good, since Mr. Shaw has been courting the daughter of a wealthy banker.”
This information should not have been surprising. A man like Douglas would naturally have an interest in courting. It would explain why he was so determined to learn to dance. Why, then, did this news hit her with the force of something completely unexpected? She said shakily, “Is that so? Well, I . . . certainly wish him well.”
She hoped this came out in the positive spirit in which she intended it and not as sarcasm. Douglas was determined to rise in business and society. Alice was well aware that building his net worth was of primary importance to him. Who better for him to marry than the daughter of a wealthy banker?
Sighing, Alice sank back against the worn carriage seat and absently fingered a tear in the leather.
Lucy reached out to pat her hand. “Men like that are masters at toying with women. They get what they want, and then they move on. In your case, it was—”
“Learning how to dance,” Alice supplied firmly. “I taught him to dance, and for that he is grateful. I’m sure neither of us expects more.”
She was glad that Lucy didn’t argue. They rode on in silence as Alice pondered the day’s events. Had Douglas been dishonest with her? Had he been untruthful, simply because he had not revealed the specific reason for his desire to conquer dancing? Had he deliberately misled her?
“There could be any number of reasons why Mr. Shaw didn’t mention this lady,” she said finally. “For one thing, it isn’t any of my business. For another, we planned this outing merely as colleagues interested in learning more about technical advances in the telephone. The dancing wasn’t planned at all, remember? I had to persuade him to dance. He had no way of knowing I enjoyed dancing, much less that I could help him learn.”
Lucy sniffed. “Whatever the reason for how things played out, it’s clear to me he’s had quite an effect on you. Don’t try to deny it.”
“I don’t deny it,” Alice said quietly. “We were both so elated at his success that it . . . well, it drew us together.”
“Just remember that he may not have your best interests at heart. Not like old friends do. Friends like me.” Lucy pointed toward Alice’s reticule. “And Fred, too! He thought enough of you to send a note from halfway around the world.”
“Let’s not discuss Fred right now, if you please,” Alice snapped.
“Hear me out,” Lucy insisted. “Fred is a good man. He earns good money on these voyages, you know. The officers keep a percentage of the haul, and his ship has been very successful. He may not be as handsome as some people”—she gave a little sniff, as though she found it insulting that Douglas should be better looking than her brother—“but Fred will never do you wrong. You won’t have to worry about anything. All your needs will be met.”
“They are met now,” Alice said. “I have work that pays well, and I take care of myself.”
“Yes, but a job is never guaranteed, is it?” Lucy persisted.
“By that kind of logic, neither is Fred’s. And then how would he support me?”
Lucy pursed her lips. “You didn’t used to be so contrary.”
You didn’t used to try to marry me off to your oaf of a brother, Alice thought. But to appease her friend she said, “I promise I will read his letter, and I will spend some time with him when he returns from India.”
Lucy gave Alice a tiny smile. “Well, that’s good enough for now, I expect.”
Alice was glad to get home. She needed time alone to sort out her thoughts. She sat on her sofa for a long time, too worn out from the emotional highs and lows of the day to even prepare for bed.
Noticing that the spinster book was within arm’s reach, Alice picked it up and opened it. Maybe now was a good time to review that chapter on the consolations of spinsterhood, she thought grimly.
Instead, she came across the passage that had so enthralled Emma:
Love is the bread and the wine of life, the hunger and the thirst, the hurt and the healing, the only wound which is cured by another. It is the guest who comes like a
thief in the night. . . .
The words seemed to stab at Alice’s heart—or rather, to expose a hollowness that had already existed without her even realizing it. That a single kiss could bring on such a surge of longing . . . This discovery shocked and stunned her. She had thought herself immune to such things; now she knew it was only because she’d never truly been exposed to them. No man had ever kissed her like that. It had been intoxicating.
Her newfound knowledge would do her no good, however. She would have to set it aside, if she was going to continue on as she had been. What other choice was there? Or ought she to look for another job? No, surely that was an overreaction.
“My emotions are high, that’s all,” Alice said to herself. “It’s a common failing for women.” She sighed. It might be common to other women, but it had never happened to her. The memory of the kiss and the feelings it evoked coursed through every part of her being.
Miss T jumped up beside her on the sofa, stepping onto her lap and nuzzling her chin. “Thank you for the comfort, my dear,” Alice said, even though she knew the cat’s actions were merely a shameless bid to be petted. Alice obliged, taking solace in this tiny measure of companionship, and turned the pages of the book to the passage she’d initially been seeking.
The spinster has no need of the man’s name, nor his troubles. Her career lies before her! She has only to choose the thing for which she is best fitted and work her way upward. . . . That which is obtained by personal effort is by far the sweetest in the end.
Now the book was finally making some sense! This was Alice’s calling and her goal—to be free to live her life unencumbered. With this frame of mind, it was easier to remind herself of the cold, hard truth about Douglas Shaw—he was actively seeking another woman, someone who would advance him in society and enlarge his bank account. How could she waste even a minute of her time mooning over someone like that? Clearly his primary goal in life was to get ahead. To that end, Alice had been useful to him tonight. The rest was of no consequence to him, and it ought not to be for her, either.
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