“It is. I hope very much that it comes to pass.”
“But it can’t be the only reason for your interest in me, can it?” She looked at him with pleading eyes, the eyes of someone who loves and longs to be loved in return.
It made Douglas feel like a worse cad than he’d have been if he’d gone ahead and married her without love. “I’m very sorry. I certainly never meant to mislead or hurt you.” He spoke sincerely, though it was painful to do.
Then, as he watched her reaction, a very interesting thing happened. She blinked, and it was as if the loving, shining eyes had been blinked away. She seemed to be thinking, her forehead slightly crinkled in calculation. Douglas held his breath, unsure what was coming next.
“Very well, then,” she said at last. She stood up, looking down at him with disdain. “You may keep your money dealings with my father. He will get richer from it, too, which will benefit me. But here is what you must do. You must attend Lady Gordon’s dinner party on Thursday next. I believe you have already received an invitation for that, yes?”
“Yes,” Douglas answered, a little confused.
“Good. At that party, I shall—very publicly—give you the cut direct. Everyone must think that I chose to end our little romance, not you. Is that understood?”
Douglas rose to his feet, hardly believing the change that had come over this woman. “Yes, of course.”
“There’s one more thing you must do as well. At some point during that party, you will take Mr. Busfield aside and tell him I threw you over because I am in love with someone else. You will allow him to divine that that person is him.”
“I see.” Douglas had no idea how he was going to accomplish that little feat. On the other hand, given Busfield’s high opinion of himself, it might not be too difficult.
She was looking at him with a hard expression, her face flushed with barely suppressed anger. “If you do those things, then I will tell my father that he ought not to hold this against you, nor against Henley and Company.”
“Thank you.”
“You will be free to seek out another bride, although I feel certain you will have a difficult time finding one in London society after this.”
He knew what she was implying. Gossip about what a terrible person he was would do him in, and she would be the one to ensure that happened. Two things that seemed contradictory became absolutely clear to him. He truly had hurt her feelings. In that regard, he could understand her actions. She was trying to salvage her pride. At the same time, he was heartily glad for this disaster, despite the pain it had caused. It allowed him to discover her true nature now, and not after they’d said marriage vows and it was too late. There was only one way to mollify a woman like this when she was angry or affronted: meet her demands without question.
He gave her a little bow. “I promise I will do all those things, just as you requested.”
She gave a superior little sniff. “See that you do.”
With that, she turned her back on him and set off. Douglas could see alarm on the chaperone’s face as Miss Rolland stalked across the lawn. He had no doubt that whatever Miss Rolland told her would not be the least bit flattering to him.
Douglas had thoroughly burned that bridge. He didn’t know what all the ramifications would be, but as he turned and walked in the opposite direction, he was sure he’d been right.
“I think you’re being selfish and unreasonable,” Lucy declared.
“How can saying ‘I will consider it’ be either of those things?” Alice placed a hand on her hat as she spoke. They were riding in Lucy’s open carriage, and the day had turned out unusually windy. Clouds also loomed on the horizon, which had been clear this morning. So far, the weather was turning out to perfectly match the rest of her day.
“It is selfish to keep Fred and me on the hook,” Lucy answered, clamping down on her own hat and resetting her hat pin. “It is unreasonable because you have no other means of supporting yourself. Do you want to end up destitute, with no place to live?”
As if Henley and Company were her last chance at being self-supporting. Despite what had happened at the CTO, Alice had every confidence of finding other work. Lucy couldn’t even fathom why a woman would want to earn her own living. If Alice didn’t know better, she’d have suspected her friend of engineering that dismissal from her job—if only to force Alice into Fred’s arms.
The very thought of being in Fred’s arms made Alice shudder. “I am not going to make a life-altering decision on the spur of the moment. Even Fred understood that. I said we ought to spend more time together before making any commitments, and he agreed. You heard it yourself.”
Alice’s real plan was to show Fred enough of her true self to make him see what a mistake he was making in thinking they were suitable for one another. Once that happened, he would be more than willing to steer his ship in another direction. Alice would graciously release him from his offer of marriage, and everyone would be happy.
“He agreed, but reluctantly,” Lucy pointed out. “He doesn’t waste time endlessly ruminating over things. I believe it’s one reason why he’s been so successful.”
Given that this was the third time they’d had this argument since leaving Lucy’s house, the conversation was growing wearisome. At least Alice had managed to keep Fred from escorting her home. Lucy had helped with that, though probably so she could spend the entire trip berating Alice.
Just when Alice thought they had covered everything ad nauseam, Lucy came up with a new and more devastating line of attack.
“You know, Alice, you’re wasting your time and your life if you think that reprehensible Mr. Shaw will come and rescue you.”
“What?” Alice shrieked.
Lucy leaned closer to her. “If that’s why you are dillydallying about Fred’s proposal, it makes you the worst sort of woman in my book. Mr. Shaw might not have been there the day you were sacked, but you know very well he had a hand in it, and you need to stop denying that fact.” She spoke rapidly and forcefully to prevent Alice, who was sputtering in indignation, from cutting her off. “Plenty of time has passed since then, and has he done anything about it? No! Why? He cannot risk having you at his workplace. You might interfere with his marriage prospects. Perhaps he was attracted to you after all and knows he can’t trust himself, or perhaps—and this is more likely, in my opinion—he can’t risk making his prospective fiancée jealous. In short, he needed you out of the way. Therefore, you need to put him out of your mind and get on with life.”
She gave an exaggerated nod to put the final stamp on her words, crossed her arms, and leaned back. Her look dared Alice to find fault with anything she’d just said.
Stunned and angry, Alice could say nothing. Her soul stung from this barrage that managed to be both insulting and to have a ring of truth. The words pierced right to the center of her heart. Was Douglas truly glad to be rid of her? Had he been involved, or at least complicit, in her dismissal? Had she secretly been harboring some fantasy about him coming to her rescue, like the make-believe princes sighed over by the kind of women she abhorred? She was glad another gust of wind forced her to reach again for her hat. It gave her several more moments to gather her thoughts.
Seeing Alice’s obvious inability to come up with a rebuttal, Lucy could have exulted in her victory. But she must have seen Alice’s distress, too. Her expression softened.
She leaned forward again, this time offering a conciliatory smile. “I’m sorry I was so blunt. You do believe I want only the best for you, don’t you?”
Alice still couldn’t answer. She didn’t want to part on bad terms. She really did love her friend, though they had grown apart in many ways since their school days. Lucy’s outlook on life had been greatly affected by her marriage. She was so satisfied with it that she couldn’t imagine any better course for a woman to take.
They had less common ground now, but the two women were still very much alike in one particular way. They were single-minded in pursuing
what they believed was right. It could be a two-edged sword at times. Until today, Alice had considered it a positive attribute. Whether Lucy’s view of the situation was correct or not, she had grown too overbearing. Alice wanted only to get away and find space to breathe.
The carriage rounded the corner onto Alice’s street and pulled to a stop in front of her house. “Let’s talk again in a day or two,” Alice suggested. “As you can see, I’m rather overwhelmed at the moment.”
Lucy squeezed her hands reassuringly. “Of course.”
Ironically, that patronizing little gesture only reignited Alice’s anger. Lucy still believed she had made an unassailable case. Alice turned to accept the footman’s hand and exited the carriage before her expression could reveal to her friend just how wrong she was.
Alice didn’t know how she had allowed herself to reach this point where men had so horribly interfered with her life—sabotaging her career, damaging her friendships, and wreaking havoc on her peace of mind. But she was absolutely certain of one thing as she watched Lucy’s carriage drive away: whatever happened, she was never, ever going to allow herself to get into such a position again.
She had about ten seconds to solidify that resolve before she found herself face-to-face with a man coming out from under the shade of a nearby tree.
Judging by the way her heart began skipping with more hops than a schottische, she must have been wishing he would come after all. What a foolish woman she was, to expect a man to solve her problems. Especially this one, who had somehow been in the middle of all of them. She clenched her fists, as though that would give her the inner strength to withstand this man’s dangerous pull.
“What are you doing here?” she demanded.
Douglas looked taken aback, but he managed a smile. “Might we be able to talk?”
CHAPTER
Twenty-Seven
It seems rather late for a chat, doesn’t it?”
Her words hit Douglas like the hot breeze that teased the loose wisps of hair around her face. If it was true that Clapper had manipulated events to get her wrongly removed from her position, then Douglas was now seeing a demonstration of pure righteous indignation. Alice probably felt utterly betrayed and abandoned.
He tried to think of a response that might alleviate her anger. “Well, I tried looking for you several times at the bookshop, but I was never able to catch you. I had no luck finding your address in the company files, either. Happily, Miss Waller was able to give me the name of the street where you live.”
“You had to search for me?” For a brief moment, she seemed to soften. But then she clenched her fists tighter. “Did you wish to acknowledge that I was scandalously treated by Henley and Company? If so, I quite agree with that assessment. But in the end, it does not signify. I have quite gotten over it and am moving on in other directions. Good day, sir.”
She was actually going to walk away! After all he’d done to find her!
Scrambling for a way to stop her, Douglas tossed out the first question he could come up with. “Was that Mrs. Bennington I saw you with just now in the carriage?”
She paused. Her shoulders visibly tightened. She made a sharp turn to face him. “Why yes, it was. I’ve just had a most excellent tea at her home with her brother. He asked me to marry him.”
Douglas gasped. “The sailor?”
She crossed her arms and lifted her chin. “He’s a cargo master. It’s a position of great responsibility. He has a cabin almost as big as the captain’s.”
Why was she telling him this? Douglas stood frozen in shock. The satisfied look on her face was probably an indication that this was exactly the effect she’d been going for.
Mrs. Bennington had mentioned her brother Fred that night at Ally Pally. But Alice had never spoken of him. She’d spoken only of remaining unmarried as her life’s goal! Was this other fellow going to beat Douglas out for the privilege of winning over the world’s most desirable and determined spinster? Surely it could not be true.
He expected her to continue—dreading but at the same time unable to believe she’d announce that she’d accepted Fred. But she was apparently waiting for him to speak. Well, then, he would. It was clear he’d fallen pretty far in her estimation. He had to win back her respect.
He swallowed. “I want you to know that I had nothing to do with your being dismissed. I had no knowledge of it at the time, and I protested vigorously to Henley the moment I found out about it. I don’t believe for a minute you sent that erroneous message, either maliciously or by mistake. I also want you to know that I hold you in the highest esteem. I would never try to hurt you.”
Something flickered in her eyes. Was he getting through? His hope grew as her gaze hung on his for a long moment. But then she blinked. “Actions speak louder than words, Mr. Shaw. Are you still employed by Henley and Company?”
“Yes.”
“And are you still—” She paused, sucked in a breath, and began again. “And does the current black mark on my record—the one leaving me without work or references—still stand?”
“Yes,” he was forced to admit.
“I see.”
There was heavy censure in those two words. Douglas had shown himself powerless to do anything about what had happened to her. He didn’t know what kind of man Fred was, but he knew that as for himself, he had fallen very short of the mark. He said in desperation, “You’re not really going to marry that sailor, are you?”
She looked at him, her head slightly tilted, as though his question had caught her by surprise. He thought he glimpsed the vulnerability he’d seen moments ago. But then she turned away. “I cannot talk any more today, Mr. Shaw. I’ve many important things to attend to.”
“Alice . . .” He said her name as an entreaty.
She turned back once more. “You might want to go back to reading Morse code off the tape, Mr. Shaw. Your hearing doesn’t seem to work very well anymore.”
This time when she walked off, Douglas didn’t try to stop her. He saw everything clearly now. She wasn’t going to accept words, only actions. He’d spent days searching for her when he ought to have been searching for answers instead.
Alice stopped when she got to her doorstep because there was a cat sitting on it, blocking her path. It looked up at her and meowed.
Even though her back was to Douglas, he could see her body go rigid with irritation. Finally, she bent down and scooped up the creature. Juggling it with one hand, she unlocked her door, stepped inside with the cat, and shut the door behind her.
Unwilling to leave just yet, Douglas stood pondering the situation.
Of all the things she’d said, it was the things she hadn’t said—or hadn’t allowed herself to say—that spoke loudest to him.
“And are you—” she’d begun to ask him. What had been on the tip of her tongue? Are you still pursuing Miss Rolland? He happily would have answered that question. But she hadn’t given him the chance.
He had work to do. He wasn’t going to rest until he had uncovered the truth about the events that led to her dismissal. She deserved to have her name cleared, and he was going to find a way to do it.
In some ways, it seemed absurd that Clapper would purposely put the company at risk. If Henley and Company folded, what other firm would hire such a surly, lazy man? On the other hand, Clapper would know the company could take a certain amount of loss and still survive. And in the meantime, he would have gotten rid of the woman he’d clearly resented. He must have orchestrated the business with the telegrams. All the paperwork Douglas had pored over had to be lacking some vital clue that could prove who really had done it.
Like a thunderbolt, it occurred to him there was one place he hadn’t yet looked. His next step was so obvious that he was ashamed at his stupidity for taking so long to think of it.
He took another moment to gaze at the house Alice had entered, memorizing the number posted in brass letters next to the door. Then he went home to pack his valise.
By
the time Alice reached her flat, her legs could barely carry her. They felt as wobbly as rubber. The stress of marshaling her anger, plus keeping her emotional distance from a man who seemed to have an irresistible magnetic pull on her, had worn her out. On top of it all, the cat had made her attempt at departing nobly look utterly ridiculous.
She dropped onto the sofa. The cat wriggled out of her arms, landing with a light thump on the floor. Alice looked wearily down at her. “Miss T, you were a naughty thing to block my doorstep. Were you trying to keep me out, or were you there to ensure I didn’t give in?”
Today, however, the cat was keeping her own counsel. She wandered off to the bedroom to take a nap on Alice’s bed.
Alice dropped her head back, closing her eyes and seeing only Douglas.
Lucy had been wrong. He had come back. He had not been complicit in her sacking. He believed in her. Everything in her life had been upended once more.
She’d been determined to give him no quarter, and yet he’d kept pressing, kept looking for a way into her heart. It had taken every ounce of strength she possessed to keep him out. She’d been right to do so, for the biggest problems had not been solved. The workplace disaster hung over them like a dark cloud. Nor had he said anything about Miss Rolland. Alice had been dangerously close to asking, but pride had stopped her just in time.
She couldn’t believe she’d told him about Fred’s proposal! What had she been thinking—that it would somehow impress him? That it would prove she was getting on with her life, as she’d claimed? Quite likely it had done neither of those things.
It had been worth it, though, to see the dismay on his face. It had, ever so briefly, fanned a flame of hope in her heart. A hope that he loved her. Alice was no longer going to deny that she loved him. Nothing could ever come of it, but there it was. She’d planned her life so carefully, but now she understood that the leanings of the heart followed no rules.
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