Alfie London Road was Alfie’s home for twenty years until a recent move. For three years in succession he was the winner of the Best Overall Garden in the ‘London Road in Bloom’ competition.
Note on the Text
Songs and sung text are indicated with italics.
Emphasis and stress are indicated with bold.
A forward slash in the text (/) indicates the point at which the next speaker interrupts.
Inconsistences in spelling and grammar are deliberate and indicate idiosyncracies in the speech and delivery of the characters.
Setting
London Road and various other locations in Ipswich. December 2006 to July 2008.
ACT ONE
Section One
Church hall just off London Road.
The original audio recording of RON’s opening speech is heard over the PA in the auditorium. It fades out as RON starts to sing.
Song – ‘Neighbourhood Watch AGM’
RON. Good evening. (Beat.) Welcome. (Beat.) This really is our first AGM after we reconstituted in 2006 and then all the awful events happened and we became stronger an’ stronger. Erm (Beat.) aft’ so after our er reconstitution we made a lot – we made a lot of progress in regenerating this street. We’ve put new signs up, thanks to Ken. Hope-hopefully the problem with the girls has disappeared. We don’t see them now. I believe there are still a few round in Hanford Road but er (Beat.) we really can’t concern ourselves with them. The street has got much better in the last year. I think the police have done exceptionally well under exceptional circumstances to clear the streets as they have done. Our problem now is to keep them up so they may have commit them to Lo’ – ya know – this is gonna continue. That they are still gonna help the girls who need helpin’or-or jump on the ones who don’t. Our problem is to keep the police to that commitment. The Chief Constable said to us in the police briefing that this is gonna go on for five years. We gotta keep them to it! We can’t let other priorities take – take over otherwise we’re just gonna slip back. I wanna say ‘thank you’ to the police. Thank them becos representatives here and the Ward Councillors, the County Councillors who have done a lot to help us. An’ so ‘thank you very much all of you’. Yeah forthcoming events, Julie.
JULIE. Very similar to last year really. We’re still gonna carry on the quiz night. Fish ’n’ chip shupper yet again. So ya know more the merrier, friends, family. We always get a good number anyway and we have a cracking night so hopefully see you all there with yer friends and family. An’ also our ‘London Road in Bloom’ contest again. Such a success last time. I was really, really pleased. It’s a lot of hard work but beautiful gardens. Ya know everybody enjoyed themselves. So get thinkin’ about yerr gardens, yer designs, hangin’ baskets an’ so forth so I’d like to see as many as possible. (Beat.) That’s about it.
RON. That’s it. Thank you.
Beat.
JULIE. It’s – we thought well with everything happening over the Christmas period with the prostitutes goin’ missin’ an – and being murdered an’ so forth – we needed to get together as a community. We got a lot of bad press erm when it was all goin’ on sayin’ sort ‘Lon – London Road was a prostutute area’ an’ so forth like that and we jus’ got absolutely cheesed off with it as a – as a community it is – it’s not nice bein’ labelled. So we’d got together an’ got a Neighbourhood Watch up an’ runnin’ an’ we’ve managed to get a real good committee goin’.
GORDON. But I think (Beat.) ya’ow, the murders have brought the community together / and made (Beat.) –
HELEN. / Mm.
GORDON. – restarted the neighbourhood – much (Beat.) more of a priority for more people.
HELEN. It’s probably given us a common – a really / common cause.
GORDON. / Mmmm.
RON. Yeah Helen is the secretary of the / (Beat.) Neighbourhood Watch committee. I’m the chairman (Beat.) it – we were overwhelmed with (Beat.) people comin’ wantin’ ta join (Beat.) because a the (Beat.) murders. An’ then of course the err (Pause.) Julie is a (Beat.) keen gardener – you’ve – seen her window boxes obvisly. (Pause.) She suggested this at one of the big meetings – an’ she said ‘Let’s ’ave a “London Road in Bloom” competition’ (Beat.) and we all said ‘Yeah, that’ll be nice.’
ROSEMARY. / Neighbourhood Watch.
JULIE. I come up with the idea of doin’ ‘London Road in Bloom’ (Beat.) to make the area look pretty – an’ that an’ getting people – involved – an’ getting interested in their road and their homes again. You know – it’s people ’ave put – hangin’ baskets out this year, that (Beat.) have never done – hangin’ baskets and pots before in their lives. (Pause.) But they made an effort (Beat.) for the ‘London Road in Bloom’. Come in my garden, cos I’ll er – come in my back garden cos Bailey will jus’ bark otherwise. We can talk a bit better there.
Underscored:
JUNE. I don’t know a weed from a plant I don’t. But I did do a-a pot.
TERRY. Yes we got er June’s pot. / An’ these are double petunias.
JUNE. / My pot. What are they?
JAN. My – well my daughter bought that down for me. I’ve never done baskets before so that was nice to… yes.
JULIE. And th’ Mayor came out in the morning at ten o’clock (Beat.) and came u – walked up and down the road with us, and picked some winners.
Pause.
GORDON. We wouldn’t have got that without the murders would we? The fact the Lord Mayor (Beat.) is it the Lord Mayor? / Well the Mayor – anyway (Beat.) –
HELEN. / No.
GORDON. – fact the Mayor turned out to judge our competition. Ha.
HELEN. Yeah.
RON. The Mayor ya wanderin’ round with ’er chain on walking up and down – I’s (laughing) frightened to death she was walkin’ up an’ down withachain (Beat.) thought ‘somebody’s gonna be pinchin’ this thing’! (Pause.) And I thought, ‘yeah – takin’ a risk’. (Pause.) Ah-our reputation round / ’ere –
ROSEMARY. / Well, she obviously felt safe in London Road. Oh we didn’t win any prizes.
HELEN. We won a prize didn’t we?
GORDON. Yep. / Commented on our neat lawn didn’t they?
HELEN. / Yeaah so –
HELEN. Oh they yeah – commented on our lovely lawn.
ALFIE. I won the first prize. So – it’ll be in the papers on Thursday. Yes. Well I had people coming all week here ya know what I mean – everybody. Like Sunday – some people they come from holiday – tourists – they come down ’ere. (Beat.) Chinese they got – I said ‘Come in.’ An’ she stood there an’ he took a photos over there. (Beat.) Tourists. Something’s come out of per day. Today the er st-Evening Star’s come down and yerself – who’s gonna be next? Ha ha.
RON. The more publicity we get – around here – the less likely it is – I think – fer de (Beat.) ne’er-do-wells ta start creepin’ back. (Beat.) Get the – uh (Pause.) I mustn’t keep sayin’ this I keep tellin’ (Beat.) every meetin’ we hold ‘we gotta get this street tarted up’. (Laughs heartily.) An’ they always say ‘it’s not the right choice a words’. Yeah.
JULIE. If you make yer house look nice (Beat.) and feel good about where you’re living – then you’ll enjoy – you’ll enjoy life a hell of a lot bedda. When you’re waterin’ em people come and say how nice it looks (Beat.) and that makes you feel proud to be where you are. (Beat.) Very pleased with it. Yeah, it’s gardens galore, ha ha.
Song – ‘London Road in Bloom’
JULIE. I got nearly seventeen hangin’ baskets in this back garden – believe it or not. Begonias, petunias an – erm – impatiens an’ things.
ALFIE. Marigolds, petunias. We got up there, we got busy Lizzies, hangin’ geraniums alright – / see the hangin’ lobelias, petunias in the basket – hangin’ basket. That’s a fuchsia.
DODGE. / There’s all sorts in that basket anyway.
JAN. Err there is a special name I just call them lilies.
They’re a lily type. There is a special name. An’ for the first time this year I’ve got a couple of erm – baskets.
TERRY. Hangin’ baskets, variegated ivy in there which makes a nice show. Then you’ve got err these sky-blue whatever they are ve – ver – ber la la. That’s err little purple ones.
HELEN. Rhubarb, the old-fashioned margarites, the daisies.
GORDON. The roses have done really well this year.
HELEN. Gave an extra point for havin’ basil on the windowsill didn’t she. /Ha ha ha.
GORDON. / Yeah.
Section Two
London Road sitting rooms.
DODGE. Yerself – I mean – you’d be – as far as I’m – as-as (Beat.) like, as far as I’m aware – about the only person that has – actually come down here, and asked the residents how they feel. There’s been lots of berm – lots about the girls – ya know-all their problems and erm. And I find it astounding that – yeah, okay, there were five (Beat.) distinct victims there – but there’s also other victims, you know the people that lived here and had ta (Beat.) put up with it.
JULIE. It was – It was absolutely awful. Cos of the children. I’ve got – I’ve got teenage girls. I’ve got a twenty-year-old and a seventeen-year-old and I’ve got a fourteen-year-old boy. So yeah they were havin’ to erm (Beat.) make sure they got their mobile phones on them. Erm. My middle daughter works at Next and Next were very good erm they weren’t allowing any of their work staff leaving the store (Beat.) un-less there was an adult there to pick them up. They weren’t letting them leave them. If they couldn’t have find anyone to bring ’em home, they’d book them a taxi t’ bring them back home. So yeah it was all – it was all of that worry.
JUNE. When they found the (Beat.) no, first of all the gir – we’ll say, one girl was missun (Beat.) never dreamt, then, did we, / really (Beat.) what was hapnin – just one girl –
TERRY. / No (Beat.) we jus’ –
JUNE. – go missun. (Beat.) Like, we’ll say (Beat.) a week later, they find a body (Pause.) no – no arrests, or anyfing, they found a body (Beat.) an’ then you find in the paper (Beat.) or radio telly – another girl is missun (Beat.) from Ipswich – an’ they find another body – an’ this I mean – imagine, this went on fer five times (Beat.) till they found five bodies (Beat.) an’ all prostitutes.
JULIE. There was a lot of fear from a lot of people. I think it’s the biggest thing that’s ever-ever happened in Ipswich. Ya know everything else was put on the back-burner. It was – the main topic of conversation was (Beat.) was the girls.
Marketplace.
Song – ‘Everyone is Very Very Nervous’
ALL. Everyone is very very nervous
And very unsure of everything basically.
ORANGE GIRL. I’m a bit of an actress so I can tell –
You can ask me anything
Er her her her
It’s erm definitely changed the mood
It’s quite. Yeah. S’quite an unpleasant feeling
because you’re
constantly I find that I’m walking through thinking
‘Well is it him, is it him?’
Yah I think it’s uhm
put th’
Ipswich on the map for the wrong reasons unfortunately.
RADIO TECHIE. We’re not actually sellin’, it’s actually free.
Just free personal safety alarms on behalf of Town 102.
Local radio station in Ipswich.
Er just handing away free personal alarms
because of what’s – in the wake of what’s
been happening in Ipswich recently.
ALL. Everyone is very very nervous erm
And very unsure of everything basically.
RADIO TECHIE. And I mean these are just flying out basic –
we’ve only been out here about half an hour
and we’ve nearly run out of stock
so yeah yeah definitely.
I mean the best person to talk to is the bloke
by the gen – by the erm lamp-post over there
cos he’s the actual DJ, I’m just promotions.
RADIO DJ. Obviously you gotta lotta people goin’ out f’ th’ weekend
th’ gonna be a bit worried
So erm we’re handing out personal alarms to erm
a t’ sort of ladies out shopping today
So that, so that’s why we’re here.
ALL. Everyone’s very very nervous
Obviously you gotta lotta people goin’ out f’ th’ weekend
th’ gonna be a bit worried
So erm we’re handing out personal alarms to erm
a t’ sort of ladies out shopping today
So that, so that’s why we’re here.
Repeat x 2.
Underscored:
STEPHANIE. I dunno – i, it is kind of a dodgy feeling cuz like no one stays out at night, now (Beat.) but – I like stayin’ out a night, so if I walk around it’s like, ‘Why’s there no one out?’ (Beat.) But – ye know. (Pause.) Cuz I fink, if yer gonna die, yer – gonna die – so… (Beat, laughs.) Thass that’ss my – point of view. (Beat.) Yeah. (Beat.) Are you quite conscious of the murders which happened round here? (Pause.) He doesn’t care you see, that’s the attitude of people. They just don’t care. The news and the press just hype it all up ya know. Cos it’s Suffolk, nothing ever happens in Suffolk. If it happened in London no one would care. Cos everyone gets stabbed in London every day. Isn’t that right? Alec come an’ talk. (Pause.) He’s running away. Do you wanna go round here? Sounds like a fight.
ALEC. Oi! Ashley – Nav! Oi!
Shouting and yelling in the background.
STEPHANIE. Ya see. Stuff always happens. It’s a load of bollocks but… we like it. You alright Kirsty?
KIRSTY. The stupid thing is I used to walk home at five o’clock in the morning on my own. I’m not doin’ that any more – not on my own. But yeah I used to walk home sessed on my own all the time. I actually took taxi money out with me Monday which I never do. I’d spent the taxi on drink huh, but I didn’t – I kept it separate. I had the taxi money. / It was separate the whole night.
KIRSTY’S BOYFRIEND. / That’s my girlfriend do ya know what I mean, if anything happened to ’er I’d fuckin’ fuck – kill everyone. Love the girl don’t I? / I’m not gonna fuckin’ hurt – hurt her am I?
KIRSTY. / Huh.
KIRSTY’S BOYFRIEND. Nothin’s gonna happen to her. Just worry too much. (Kisses her.) Becos at the end of the day she can look after herself anywhere, yeah? But when she’s got a person which is a legend anyway and an ex – boxer / there’s a lot of difference int there? Yeah? Simple as that. It’s the truth man.
/ KIRSTY laughs.
Song – ‘Everyone is Very Very Nervous’ (continued)
RADIO DJ. Obviously you gotta lotta people goin’ out f’ th’ weekend
th’ gonna be a bit worried
So erm we’re handing out personal alarms to erm
a t’ sort of ladies out shopping today
So that, so that’s why we’re here.
ALL. Obviously you gotta lotta people goin’ out f’ th’ weekend
th’ gonna be a bit worried
So erm we’re handing out personal alarms to erm
a t’ sort of ladies out shopping today
So that, so that’s why we’re here.
Underscored:
MUM IN QUEUE. Can I have one for mi daughter please? / Thank you.
RADIO DJ. / Certainly. S’course you can. Would you like one of those?
ORANGE GIRL. Problemis we nee – we’re tryin’ a buy some because we need seven for our store?
RADIO DJ. Okay well we can sort / that out for you.
ORANGE GIRL. / Is that possible. Do you mind?
RADIO DJ. Yeah I should think we can do that. Hang on. One, two…
ORANGE GIRL. Cuz it’s very odd. It’s very surreal I think, personally.
RADIO DJ. Yeah oh definitely yeah.
ORANGE GIRL. Knowing that erm. Ya know a friend of mine was in New Zealand at the time when this was all going, she’s jus’ come back an’ she heard about it over there – / is quite ’cuse the pun but ‘alarming’. / So ha ha. It’s kind of you know. It’s – I think that’s probably… So. But I’m gonna – i – gonna steal all of ’is alarms now / look. Thank you very very much.
RADIO DJ. / Mmm.
RADIO DJ. / Ha ha ha.
RADIO DJ. / No no.
RADIO DJ. Okay no worries.
ORANGE GIRL. Cheers bye.
MARKET STALL HOLDER 1. That’s like Deben- / hams.
MARKET STALL HOLDER 2. / Debenhams they’re layin’ on minibuses for the – all the lady staff an’ that to get ’ome at night-time just in case.
MARKET STALL HOLDER 3. Taxis an’ things.
MARKET STALL HOLDER 2. Taxis yeah.
MARKET STALL HOLDER 1. All stores. An’ Willis as well weren’ it?
MARKET STALL HOLDER 2. Yeah.
MARKET STALL HOLDER 3. An’ Marks an’ Spencers are doin’ the same.
LEAFLET GIRL 1. Erm we’ve jus’ got leaflets off the police an’ we’re handin’ ’em out.
LEAFLET GIRL 2. Yeah for the safety of young people and old people. It’s like a text-message service.
LEAFLET GIRL 1. You send a text to this service. If you don’t cancel it by eleven o’clock it will send a text message to your closest contact. If they can’t reach hold of you they will call the police.
ALL. Obviously you gotta lotta people goin’ out f’ th’ weekend
th’ gonna be a bit worried
So erm we’re handing out personal alarms to erm
a t’ sort of ladies out shopping today
So that, so that’s why we’re here.
Everyone is very very nervous.
Repeat x 2.
London Road sitting rooms.
GORDON. The police kept issuin’ all these strange – things about what you should an’ shouldn’t do, but they never said ‘don’t be a prostitute an’ don’t get into a stranger’s car’ which is / (Pause, laughs.) which was the obvious thing really wasn’t it, / because everybody else / was quite safe walkin’ the streets.
London Road Page 2