by Sarah Dessen
He picked it up. “Hello? Trinity? Look, we’re on our way . . . Celeste? It’s Matthew.”
I had to slow again to drive over a power line, broken and wiggling like a snake. Yikes. “Ask her if they found Gordon.”
“. . . yes, we’re going there,” he said. “Trinity is very upset and Gordon . . . well, she’s probably hiding. We’ll find her. What? No, we just left the hotel. We should be there . . . what’s in the road?”
I waited to hear the answer to this question, but there was none: the line went dead, and he lowered the phone, looking worried. “Sounds like there might be a problem,” he said. “We’ll see.”
A couple of miles later, we did: a tree had fallen across both lanes, bark and leaves scattered all around it. The sky was as dark as I’d ever seen it in my life, and suddenly, probably much later than I should have, I felt my heart begin to race. I was scared.
“Dad,” I said as we stopped. “Now what?”
He took a breath. We’d gotten this far—extracting the car, dealing with the weather—and now it was all for nothing. I thought of Trinity, crying in the dark of the TV room. I was about to turn to him and say we should just run the rest of the way when I heard it.
Music.
It was distant, and barely audible above the whipping wind and the rain. But it was there, tinkling piano music, growing louder and louder. It seemed nuts I didn’t put together that it was the Yum truck until it appeared on the other side of the tree, its lights blinking.
“Roo,” I said, feeling a rush of relief. I pushed my door open.
“What?” my dad asked.
“Just come on.” I jumped out and started to run, going around the tree with him following. The rain stung my skin, the howl of the wind filling my ears: it felt like the storm might just carry me away, like Dorothy when The Wizard of Oz is in black and white. But then Roo was holding open the door, and I was climbing in. The music was still going.
“It’s stuck,” he said by way of explanation as my dad piled in behind me. I moved to the cooler, my spot, while he took the front seat, putting on his belt as Roo backed up. “But at least people can hear us coming.”
We started driving the final stretch, passing Conroy Market, where the power was also out. Roo stuck his hand out the window and gave a thumbs-up to Celeste, who was standing outside, her phone to her ear. Then she, like everything else, was lost in the wind and rain behind us. But still the music kept playing.
“Apparently, there’s a huge tree down on the highway,” Roo said as he leaned forward, trying to see through the windshield. The wipers were going full speed, but only pushing the water around. “So Trinity can’t get to the hospital.”
“She’s not in labor, just scared,” I said. “And Gordon—”
“Is going to be in so much trouble once I find her safe,” he finished for me. My dad glanced at him, saying nothing. “Okay, we’re almost there. Once we are, you go find Trinity. I’ll look for Gordon.”
“You take cover,” my dad said. “I’ll handle looking for Gordon.”
Roo jerked the wheel to the right, suddenly, to dodge a branch that was in the road, and I almost slid off the cooler, catching myself at the last minute. The music made it sound like a wacky caper, not an emergency.
Finally, we were at Calvander’s, where all the windows facing the water were boarded up, debris from the beach—a shovel, a plastic bag, a beer can—blowing across the yard. Roo jerked to a stop and we all jumped out, running to the main house. The tree that had so scared Trinity was across the porch, water pouring in the one window it had hit, reminding me how serious this actually was.
“Trinity!” I yelled as I came up the steps, throwing the door open. The house was quiet except for the wind, wheezing through any and all cracks. “Where are you?”
“In here!” she said.
I pushed open the door to the TV room to find her on the couch, holding a pillow, tears streaming down her face. “She’s not anywhere!” she said. “I’ve looked all over the goddamn place.”
“It’s okay,” I said, going to her as Roo and my dad took off to the kitchen and the rest of the house. I heard them yelling Gordon’s name as I grabbed a blanket from the couch, shaking it out over Trinity, who was trembling. “We’ll find her.”
“Don’t leave me!” she yelled, but I had to, running down the hallway to the kitchen, where the windows were all rain: I couldn’t even see the lake. Outside, I could still make out the tinkling music of the Yum truck, or at least I could until another sound grew loud enough to drown it out: a humming, like an engine. Growing closer.
My dad, coming back down the stairs, heard it too. “Tornado,” he said. “Into the middle room, both of you. Now!”
I hadn’t even realized Roo was there, behind me, until he said, “I can’t. We have to find Gordon.”
“I will find Gordon,” my dad told him. “GO.”
I looked at Roo, who nodded and then ran back down the hallway, me following. In the TV room Trinity was rocking back and forth, her eyes squeezed shut.
“Oh, my God,” she said as I sat down beside her, taking her hand. Her grip was like a vise, tightening with each boom of thunder from outside. “Where’s Gordon? If she’s outside, she’ll—”
“Shh,” Roo said, taking her other hand. “Emma’s dad is on it.”
He said this so confidently, as if he had all the faith in my father, despite what had happened between them. My dad would handle this. He had to.
Before, the wind had been howling; now, it sounded different. Trinity whimpered, twisting my fingers, and I sucked in a breath, trying to stay calm. Then I heard a crack just outside, followed by a crash.
“Shit,” Roo said.
“My dad.” I stood up, running to the door. “I should—”
“Saylor!” Roo yelled. “Don’t open that!”
I did; I couldn’t help it. Nothing can happen to him, I thought, as I ran to the front door and opened it as well, feeling the wind push back against me, hard. “Dad!”
But I couldn’t see him. And I knew there was no way he could hear me, over the wind and the howling and the rain smacking the windows. I turned, looking down at the shore: the water was rushing over the dock, foam stuck to everything, and I couldn’t make out a single thing. The howling was getting louder.
“Dad!” I yelled again, into the storm. No answer. I stood there, tears in my throat, thinking of the last time I’d seen my mom. That white lace shirt, the way she touched my face. The elevator doors closing as she watched me disappear. Was this another ending I’d remember forever? Where would I imagine him?
“Saylor!” Roo came running up behind me. “Come back inside.”
“My dad is out there!” I said, my voice breaking, and then I was crying. “He’s—”
There was a whoosh, pushing me back from the door, and I felt Roo grab me, his arms around my waist. The rain was pelting us sideways as I buried my face in his chest, eyes tightly closed, just wanting to hold on to something, someone, as the world seemed to come loose all around me. He put a hand on the back of my head as I turned, looking out in the storm again, and I could hear him speak but couldn’t make out the words he was saying. Still, I strained to hear them, holding on tight, and then finally, there was this.
“I see them.”
I opened my eyes. He was looking at the shore, so I did too, squinting into the rain and bending trees. At first, I saw nothing, but then, after a beat, then one more, movement in the distance at the dock. I blinked. Twice. And then there was my dad, carrying Gordon as he walked away from the water.
“Oh, my God,” I said. She had her arms looped at his neck, legs locked around his waist, as he jogged up the grass, head bent against the storm. In one of her hands, Gordon was holding her Allies book.
Roo let me go, rushing out to open and hold the door as they came up the steps.
“Let’s go,” my dad said, ducking into the TV room. Gordon was still holding on tightly, her own eyes s
queezed shut, as Trinity shrieked, relieved, upon seeing them. “Saylor. You okay?”
I paused. He had never called me that. “Yeah. I’m fine.”
He reached out, touching my hair, but couldn’t do much more with Gordon attached to him like a spider monkey. Roo shut the living room door. “It’s coming,” he said as we all got back on the couch, together. We were so close, crammed in together, that I felt like I had a piece of everyone: Trinity’s hand in mine, my dad’s leg pressed against me, Gordon’s skinny elbow at my ear. And then, Roo, sliding in behind me. He took my other hand, squeezing it, as if he’d done it a million times. Maybe, in the deep, lost part of my memory, he had. But it still felt new and familiar all at once as I squeezed back, pressing myself against him. I thought of my mom in that hotel room, on another night years ago, leaving this world with no one even knowing. There were a million ways to go, but the worst would be alone. And I wasn’t.
I’d never heard the wind the way it sounded at that moment. Sometimes I still hear it in my dreams. But even then, I have that sense of being part of a greater whole. All of us on the couch, Roo’s breath in my ear. Together, we held on.
Twenty-Four
“This is so nice,” Bailey said, looking around the room. “You didn’t have to.”
“Oh, I think I did!” Nana replied, gesturing for us to take our seats at the table before she did the same. “Of course, it’s not the Club. But there are oyster forks. See?”
I did. There they were, on the little card table Oxford had brought into room seven, along with three folding chairs. I’d found the tablecloth and napkins in a drawer in Mimi’s kitchen, while Nana picked a bunch of gardenias and put them in water for the centerpiece. She was right, it wasn’t the Club. It was better.
The Club wasn’t an option anyway, as, like the Tides, it had suffered so much damage from the storm it was closed until further notice. Which meant all the guests who’d been so reassured about the hotel’s storm readiness suddenly had to find other places to stay, causing everything to be fully booked up. Luckily, we had a connection.
It was Calvander’s we’d come to, the night of the storm, after we’d picked up Nana and Tracy, who’d been evacuated as the water rushed into the Tides lobby. We’d taken the Yum truck, me on the cooler seat with Tracy, while Nana rode up front, next to Roo, delighted by the music, which was still playing.
On the day of the storm, Calvander’s had two vacancies, so Nana and I bunked in seven while Dad and Tracy took number ten. I’d been a little worried about how my grandmother would adapt to her new digs. But she took easily to walking over to the main house with me for breakfast each morning with Oxford, who split his paper with her and made all the toast we could ever want. Usually Gordon joined us as well, with her book. She’d become fascinated with everything Nana, which I could understand, following her around the way she once had me. Sometimes I’d see them in our room, sitting together and talking quietly, and wonder what they were discussing. But I’d never ask.
The motel itself had withstood the storm with only a little damage, and within a day or two the other guests were back on the beach, slathering themselves with sunscreen as they spread out their towels. From across the lake, we could hear bulldozers and construction equipment going all day long as the Tides and the Club tried to get back up and running. But it would be a while.
And by then, we’d be gone. Back in Lakeview, Nana’s remodeled apartment and our new house were both done and waiting for us, as well as the new school year. But I was determined to stay at North Lake, both literally and figuratively, as long as I could.
Which was why we’d scheduled this, our oyster fork meal, on the evening of the second-to-last day, before the chaos of packing and leaving really set in. It wasn’t the big group dinner we’d planned, but it didn’t matter, as by that point we’d had plenty of those. In the first days after the storm, when the power was still out, we’d sat together at Mimi’s big table, eating meals made with everything perishable from the fridge. Oxford grilled hot dogs outside while Mimi and Nana drank boxed wine they’d found in the pantry, sharing stories. Even Trinity was there, still hugely pregnant, counting down the days until the Sergeant arrived home. I was hoping I’d be there when the baby came, but I knew even from the distance of Lakeview I’d still feel part of it, whenever it happened.
A lot of this was because of Roo. That day of the storm, we’d all stayed in the living room, on the couch, until the wind died down and we were sure the danger had passed. Only then did my dad get up, helping Trinity to her feet while Gordon stuck close to his other side.
“Bound to be a lot of branches and power lines down,” he told us, crossing the room and opening the door to squint out. “Nobody touch anything, understood?”
Gordon, solemn, nodded, although Trinity was already going to the front door. “Oh, crap,” she said a moment later. “That same office window that blew out in Richard is gone again. Mimi is going to be pissed.”
“Better a window than a person,” my dad pointed out. He looked at Gordon, then bent down to her level. “You okay? That was kind of scary.”
Hearing his voice as he said this—low, calm, invested—I felt a lump rise in my own throat. We Paynes were a safe people, for sure. And my dad had lots of experience: he could take care of anyone.
Everyone else left to check damage then, leaving just Roo and me on the couch in the dimness of the living room. Distantly, I could hear a siren, as well as someone’s phone ringing. But as I turned to face him, his hand still in mine, I blocked that all out. All I could think of were the moments the wind had wailed, the house literally shaking, and we held hands so tightly I could feel both his pulse and mine.
I looked up at him. All those pictures I’d seen of him, from the group shot until the very last one, by the pumps at the Station, and yet this was what I knew I would remember best. This moment, uncaptured, but just as real.
“You okay, storm buddy?” he asked.
I smiled. Then, instead of replying, I leaned in and kissed him. Lightly at first, trying it out, before going deeper, pulling him closer. His lips were so soft as he smoothed a hand over my head, gazing steadily into my eyes while I reached up to touch his face, every bit of us fitting neatly together. It was so perfect—the world falling away, just how I thought a real first kiss should feel—I knew I didn’t need a picture, that I would remember it always. Even now, when I thought of it, my heart jumped.
Since then, we’d just sort of slipped easily, wordlessly, into being a couple. A few days later, as we sat on Mimi’s steps, he told me he had something for me, picking up the bag he’d brought with him.
“What is it?” I asked.
He handed it over. “Look and see.”
It was a photo album, a new one, with a red cover and stiff pages. At first I was confused, until I opened it up to see that same first picture, his dad in his duck pajamas, at the very top.
“Is this—”
“Yep,” he said. His leg was warm, pressing against mine. I just felt better with him close by. “Same pictures, same order. I made copies.”
“This is incredible,” I said, flipping pages.
“I thought you deserved your own album,” he told me. “Since the stories are yours, too.”
I turned a couple more pages: they were all there. The shot of my mom, somber at day camp. Her dyeing Chris Price’s hair. That ill-fated middle school dance. Then Roo and me as kids. Each picture another step toward here, where we were now. I wouldn’t be leaving everything behind. Now, I could take the lake with me.
But when I got to the last page, and that final shot of him with his mom and the Christmas tree, I noticed something. “Wait. Are there more pages?”
He grinned. “Look and see.”
I turned past the final photo, and sure enough, instead of the back cover, another page was there, with more behind it. Empty slots, waiting to be filled with the rest of the stories I would tell. I was so touched, moving through them,
that at first I almost missed the single picture he’d already included.
It was the two of us, at our makeshift prom, a shot I hadn’t even realized was being taken. I was in my dress, barefoot, him holding a hand to spin me out as we danced. I was laughing, my head thrown back, someone blurry and in motion behind me. Like the moment was already passing, even as whoever took the shot captured it.
“This is incredible,” I said, barely even able to speak.
“The big photo album in the sky,” he replied. “It’s like good storm windows. Everyone should have one.”
I turned to face him, moving my leg between his. “You are the best.”
“I am not,” he replied, sliding his arms around my waist. “But I will take the compliment anyway.”
I leaned in then, kissing him as the wind blew over us, ruffling the nearby gardenia bushes. I wanted it to last forever, but then I heard Gordon tittering, the way she did when she caught us like this together, and she always caught us like this together.
“Gordon,” Roo said, pulling away but keeping his eyes on me. “Don’t you have a closet to get into or something?”
“It wasn’t a closet!” she shot back as she did every time he said this, which was equally as often. “It was a shed and I was fine.”
“Fine.” Roo snorted. “You were by the water with a hurricane coming in and no one could find you.”
“Except my dad,” I pointed out. I looked at Gordon. “Lucky he knew that place, huh?”
She nodded, solemn. “Lucky.”
But it wasn’t, not really. I’d assumed he’d found her that day by process of elimination, hunting around the dock until he discovered the small shed built into the side of the motel where, after Trinity had yelled at her, she’d gone to barricade herself with her book. It was only later, when I’d finally had a chance to sit down with my dad, that I found out the real story.
It was a few days after the storm and we were at Mimi’s table, having breakfast. Tracy and Nana had gone back over to the Tides to collect our things, so it was my dad and me and my Bly County News, where I was reading the obits (Ellis Murdock, 67, died at home with his family around him) while he stared out the window. When Gordon emerged from the motel office, we both watched her walk down to the dock, carrying her book, then take a seat with her legs dangling in the water.