by Barb Han
He couldn’t count the number of times she’d threatened to hose him down before letting him come inside the house at the ranch after a long day working cattle. The memory almost had him smiling.
Blake shifted his gaze to Alyssa and waited for her to make the call on revealing herself.
She gave a curt nod.
“The victim who climbed out the bedroom flooring happens to be sitting in my kitchen right now and she’s the one on speaker,” he told Liz.
“I’m thirty minutes away. I’ll be right over.” She didn’t give him time to argue before she ended the call.
Alyssa issued a sharp breath.
“You’re welcome to use the shower if you’d like to clean up,” he offered. “You have plenty of time before she gets here.”
She sat there for a long moment, looking like she didn’t know where to start.
“That would be amazing actually,” she finally said. Her response shouldn’t have made his chest fill with pride. He tried to blame his weakness on her condition. He wanted to make the mother of his child—if that was the situation—comfortable. He also wanted to get more details about the case and assess the danger she was in. “But...what would I wear?”
“I can take your clothes and throw them in the wash if—”
“I’d rather burn them.” The way she said the words made him realize she would remember waking up in that trailer in conditions that didn’t sound humane if she put those clothes back on.
“There’s a jogging outfit of yours and a few other things folded in the master bathroom. You must’ve forgotten to pack the hair dryer.” Mentioning the manner in which she’d left things had him hearing the frustration in his own voice.
“Okay.” Based on her response, she’d picked up on it too.
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
“Starving.” She patted her pockets. “But I don’t have any way to repay you.”
He was already shaking his head before she finished her sentence. It was the least he could do for someone in need. “It’s nothing. I’ll order pizza. It’ll be here by the time you finish showering.”
“Sounds good. Thank you.”
He nodded and waved her off. Blake had ranching in his blood and ranchers always helped each other out. No amount of bad blood would cause him to turn away his pregnant ex after she’d been abducted.
“You still like pepperoni and mushroom?” he asked.
A small smile upturned the corners of her lips. It didn’t reach her eyes. “Yes.”
He turned away because looking at her wasn’t doing great things to his resolve. His bruised ego wanted to demand answers about why she’d walked out, but reason said this wasn’t the time to press for those answers.
Once this was over, he intended to sit her down and get the answers he’d been searching for. A frustrating voice in the back of his mind asked what good that would do. She’d still be pregnant with his child. The evidence, the timeline, pointed toward the child being his. Maybe it was time to move forward and think about how they planned to bring up this kid.
So, why couldn’t his heart get the message? Because it wanted more than weekends and every other Christmas with a family.
* * *
ALYSSA PEELED OFF the filthy clothes and placed them in the trash bag she’d retrieved from underneath the sink before heading to the bathroom. She placed each piece in a plastic bag, never wanting to see them again, but realizing law enforcement would most likely want them as evidence, before retrieving the clothes Blake mentioned from the closet.
Being back in the townhouse she’d shared with him felt like the most normal thing despite the crazy and heavy circumstances that brought her here. His reaction was the only out-of-place thing. There was no way he would have turned her down, not when she’d shown up in this condition, pregnant and looking every bit like the experience she’d just had. But it was clear he was doing this only because she was pregnant and desperate. She could see the hurt in his eyes, hurt that she’d caused, and it had nearly wrung her out. Not being able to remember anything before the trailer except her marriage to Blake and where they’d lived was like living in a nightmare. Questions were mounting, but thinking too hard gave her a headache. She reached up and ran her fingers across the lump on the back of her skull. The spot was tender, and she immediately withdrew her hand.
She remembered the male voices in the other room at the trailer. But she couldn’t remember exactly what they’d said. Something niggled at the back of her mind and was just out of reach.
After tossing the last of her clothes into the bag, she pulled the drawstrings tightly to close it. She set the bag in the hallway and then closed the bathroom door, wanting to get as far away from the stench as possible.
Footsteps coming down the hallway had her stepping away from the door as quickly as she could. Being naked and near Blake used to feel so normal. Now she would cover up even through a closed door except that she didn’t want to get that smell on a towel or bathrobe.
“I’ll hold on to these for Liz.” Blake’s deep timbre still had the ability to send warmth spiraling through her. Being near him had a way of heightening all her senses and stirring up emotions best left alone under the circumstances.
“Thank you.” She couldn’t imagine any reason that would have caused her to walk away from Blake O’Connor, except that she’d done just that. The evidence was indisputable. Her heart ached being so close to him as anger came off him in palpable waves.
Could she blame him?
No. She couldn’t. If the tables were turned, she would feel the same way. Blake’s honor code would stop him from turning her away despite being done with the marriage—again, totally on her, apparently.
She just wished she knew what could have caused her to leave him in the first place. Because she might not have all her memories back, but being near him brought an onslaught of emotion—happy emotion. And she’d been one hundred percent certain they’d had a happy marriage.
Alyssa’s brain cramped, so she stopped that train of thought. It was unproductive anyway. She could probably fill a library with things she couldn’t remember and trying to force it seemed to make it only worse.
Stepping into the warm water and with memories all around her, she let herself get lost in the feeling of familiarity. She could wrestle with her mind later.
After scrubbing for a solid twenty minutes, she finally cut off the water. Stepping out of the shower and maneuvering around with her bump proved interesting. She’d forgotten how little things like drying her own feet were more complicated now.
She dropped a towel on the floor and stepped on it. Problem solved. If only all of life’s problems could be handled so easily. Taking a sidestep, she managed to scoop up the towel. She hung it over the shower door to dry.
Her clothes were folded and stacked on top of the counter. There was no way she was fitting into her old bra, but the oversize shirt should cover her. Her jogging pants wouldn’t go over her big belly, but she could tuck them down underneath and make do.
It felt so good to be clean again.
Hunger pangs reminded her it was past time to eat. She couldn’t remember her last meal. Her head still ached, and she didn’t figure it would be safe to take anything for it.
She missed coffee and an occasional glass of wine. But every time she thought about meeting her baby, the sacrifices seemed worth it. The baby started moving around, kicking and stretching.
After brushing her hair and teeth, using spares that were kept in the drawer, she hurried to Blake in the kitchen. Officer Liz wasn’t there yet.
Alyssa practically beamed at Blake who was plating a couple pieces of her favorite pizza.
“You have to feel this,” she said to him before she really thought it through.
His muscles tensed as he set down a plate. His gaze never moved from her face. His
intention clear—he wasn’t ready to deal with the baby.
Hope she never should have allowed in the first place deflated her chest.
“I’m sorry, Alyssa. I just can’t right now.” His words were daggers to the chest.
Chapter Four
“You should eat.” Blake pointed to her plate. He’d set out napkins and a glass of water for her.
He flexed and released his fingers a couple of times in an attempt to work off some of his tension. Tension at seeing his ex looking vulnerable and alone. Tension at the thought he might become a father in a matter of days or weeks in what was the shock of all shocks to his system. Could he even get used to the idea? The possibility?
Her smile didn’t have the same spark as when he found her outside. She’d looked so certain he would be happy to see her and a piece of him—a piece he didn’t want to acknowledge or feed—had hated letting her down. Blake chalked it up to being a nice person.
“Mind if I sit at the table?” she asked.
“Be my guest.” The words might be natural in a situation like this, but they sounded all wrong saying them to her.
Another awkward moment passed between them. Another smile that died on her lips when she made eye contact.
What could he say? This wasn’t easy. A knock sounded at the door, no doubt signaling Liz’s arrival. Blake was already standing at the kitchen pass-through, so he walked to the back door of the townhouse. Liz always knew to park in front of his garage.
He opened the door. “Welcome to my circus.”
Liz was five feet two of black-haired dynamite. “How are you?” She studied him.
“Fine.” Officers were so good at putting up a facade that he was certain she was convinced.
Until she took a step inside and brought him into a hug. “No. Really. How are you?”
The move shocked him, but she was genuinely a friend and showing support. There wasn’t anything sexual about their contact. It was buddy to buddy. The equivalent of a bear hug and pat on the shoulder after a pickup game of basketball.
“Honestly? I’m shocked. Check it out for yourself.” He put his arm out, hand extended, like he was presenting the hallway in the way someone unveils a new car.
Liz gave him a look of solidarity, which he appreciated, and then stalked into the kitchen. “Hey, Alyssa. Long time no see.”
The look of shock on Alyssa’s face at the offhanded comment rattled Blake. It must have had the same effect on Liz because she immediately put her hands up in the surrender position with her palms out.
“I didn’t mean it like—”
“No. It’s fine.” The defensiveness in Alyssa’s voice meant she was anything but. The forced smile didn’t help matters.
“It was a jerk thing to say. I didn’t mean it like—”
“Already forgotten.” Alyssa pushed to standing and walked over to Liz. She stuck her hand out between them. “Good to see you again, Liz.”
Liz took the offering. “You too.”
When it seemed polite to step away, Alyssa returned to her plate. “I don’t know the last time I had a decent meal, so do you mind if I continue eating?”
“No. Of course not. Go ahead.” Liz followed her and took a seat on the opposite side of the table. “Smells great.”
“There’s plenty here if you want a slice.”
“No. Thanks. I was just commenting on the smell,” she said.
Well, if this conversation wasn’t awkward, Blake didn’t know what was.
“Blake tells me that you had an incident with a trailer park. Can you tell me what happened in your own words?” Liz’s demeanor changed to all business. She sat up a little straighter as she took out a notebook and pen.
Reports were filed online now but some cops preferred to jot down a few notes the old-fashioned way first. Then the report could be filed once details were gathered.
He listened as Alyssa recounted her story in between bites. It was almost word-for-word what she’d told him.
A stunned Liz jotted a few notes. She nodded her head and repeated a few uh-huhs. “Do you have a physical description of either of the men?”
“Afraid not. When I came to, they were in the next room. I didn’t think it was a good idea to traipse through the living room or alert them to the fact I was awake. Once I got out of there, I didn’t look back.” There was terror in her voice and Blake had to fight the urge to sit down beside her or take her hand in his like he’d done so many times in the past to comfort her. They didn’t belong to each other anymore and it wasn’t his place. Besides, with her carrying his child—possibly—he would need to remain impartial. He couldn’t fathom having a family under these circumstances.
“You said you overhead the pair of men, is that correct?” Liz’s voice had a sharp edge to it. He chalked it up to her being protective of him.
“Yes.”
“Do you think you could recognize their voices again if you heard them?” Liz studied Alyssa. Was she assessing her to see if she could be trusted?
“I’m not sure. It all happened so fast and I couldn’t get away from there fast enough.” She brought her hand up to rub her temple, a move that said her stress levels were shooting up. Talking about the incident made her relive it. He told himself it only bothered him because stress wasn’t good for her child. On that note, Liz’s judgmental voice wasn’t helping.
“Can you come back in a few hours, Liz?”
“Yes. Sure. I guess so.” His former partner looked more than a little dumbfounded at the suggestion.
He could sense Alyssa’s tension rising with Liz in the room. It had been a mistake to allow her to come here. They could finish the interview over the phone, or he could take down the details and shoot an email. He grabbed the bag of clothes that his ex had brought down from the bathroom, and then handed them over as evidence. “This is what she was wearing. Would you mind having them checked for any possible DNA evidence?”
“Yeah.” She shrugged like it was no big deal, and then took the bag. “Of course, I can.”
“Thank you. If you don’t mind starting there. Alyssa has already given her statement. These are the clothes she wore. If you have any questions, you know my number.” He started walking her out, needing to get Alyssa’s stress levels down immediately. He didn’t have a ton of experience with pregnant women, not personally, but he didn’t want her going into early labor.
“Fine.” Liz caught his gaze. “Walk me out?”
Blake nodded before turning to Alyssa. “I’ll just be a minute.”
Lips pursed together like it was taking all her energy to hold her tongue, she seemed to give up when she half smiled. “Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Good to see you again, Alyssa.” Liz’s tone wasn’t helping, especially considering how forced the statement sounded.
He would deal with the fallout in a few minutes. Suddenly, a quick walk outside seemed like a good idea. Grab some fresh air, and maybe find some perspective. Because his protective instincts flared no matter how many times he reminded himself how burned he’d been after Alyssa walked out.
Liz led the way and he followed. He barely had the door closed when she whirled around on him and pointed her finger in his chest. “Are you kidding me right now?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“We’ve been working together a long time. Your ex-wife is pregnant and shows up at your house, so you just let her in? And what? The past eight months of you being miserable are suddenly erased? The divorce she asked for doesn’t exist? The way she treated you doesn’t matter anymore?”
“I’m better now.” He was being honest. Technically, he was better. Was he completely over the pain? No. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t better.
“Yeah? Since when? A couple of weeks ago? You finally move on and she’s back to mess with your
head?” There was fire in Liz’s eyes. More of that fire came out when she spoke. She stood there, arms folded over her chest like a schoolteacher scolding the class for talking too much. Heat poured off her in palpable waves.
“It’s not like that.” He shouldn’t want to defend Alyssa, but he’d loved her enough to believe they had a future together, to marry her, and he couldn’t have anyone else insulting her. Plus, Liz’s reaction was full tilt.
“Then, how? Educate me. Because all I’m seeing right now is more heartache and the first round nearly broke you. So what happens next?”
He shifted his weight and turned to look away. Denying he’d taken the divorce hard wouldn’t do any good. Liz had been an eyewitness to his pain. Front row. So, he would cut her some slack.
After a couple of breaths, he continued, “I hear you. Hell, I appreciate you for wanting to step in and make sure I’m not going down a road we both know won’t be good for me.”
“It’s what partners do for each other. Even former ones.” She shrugged a shoulder like it was no big deal. “Plus, we’re friends.”
“Trust me when I say that I’m good, Liz.”
She shot him the look. The one that said just how much she didn’t believe him right then.
“Fair enough,” he conceded. His judgment had obviously been off when he married Alyssa. And the pregnancy complicated matters. “How about this. I’ll take it easy. I’ll make sure that I don’t fall into that same old trap as before, thinking that she loved me when she couldn’t have, or she wouldn’t have been able to walk out so easily.”
“That’s better.” Liz’s stance had softened somewhat. Her shoulder muscles relaxed, and she seemed to finally exhale. Then, she locked on to his gaze. “Is the baby yours?”
“The question is out of bounds and you know it.” The truth was that her guess was as good as his on that one. Even so, he didn’t want to go there with her.