by Barb Han
“You couldn’t have. That isn’t who you are.” He was adamant on that point. She would never willingly or knowingly do something illegal or immoral.
“What if I did, though?”
He shook his head. There was not a shadow of a doubt in his mind she wasn’t a hardened criminal or someone who took advantage of other people. If she’d wanted money all she had to do was ask for it in the divorce. He believed in love and spending his life with someone, so he hadn’t asked her to sign a prenup. He wouldn’t go into a marriage planning for its failure. Did marriages fail? Of course, they did. His was proof. He just couldn’t go into any union thinking it might end. He took his vows seriously and believed he was marrying the right one.
“I just have this strong sense that I left you in order to protect you,” she said.
“From what?” Could that explain her actions? Wrap up his heartbreak in a neat little box?
“Me.” She blinked up at him. Her eyes were glittery with something that looked a whole lot like need. A shot straight to his heart fueled his desire to kiss her again. Maintaining distance was key to keeping his feelings in check—feelings that were on a mission of their own since finding out he was going to become a father. It was natural to be attracted to the child’s mother, but was it stupid to act on it?
Stupidity be damned, he went for it. Like gravity, keeping his feet planted firmly on the earth, his heart was pulled toward her.
The kiss was tender at first. He took his time running his tongue across her bottom lip before dipping the tip inside her sweet lips. His heart took another hit when she moaned against his mouth.
His breath quickened and his heart raced as they deepened the kiss. They’d gone from zero to sixty in a matter of seconds. He needed to cool his jets or risk letting this get out of control.
A large part of him wanted to run with it if he was being honest. See where it might end up. End being the word that told him to slow down. As much as he wanted—needed?—to believe she’d left him for altruistic reasons, the simple fact was she should have talked to him about it first. Making the decision for him, not giving him a say in their relationship, doused the flame gaining ground inside him.
He brought his hands up to cup her face, ending the kiss. She opened her eyes slowly, those blue irises contrasting against the white.
This seemed like a good time to remind himself just how heartbroken he’d been. His ego had taken a monumental hit and he’d licked his wounds, when no one was around to take notice. His life had crumbled despite the show he put on meant to make others think he had it together. Liz hadn’t been fooled. But then she probably knew him better than most. It was a fact he was beginning to realize sat like sour milk for Alyssa.
* * *
“MIND IF I go through my boxes upstairs while we wait for my doctor’s appointment?” Alyssa asked, needing to put some space between her and Blake so she could straighten out her thoughts. She’d wanted to kiss Blake as much as he wanted to kiss her. A mistake? Maybe, but she was tired of sitting on the sidelines and not going after what she wanted.
Of course, the pregnancy complicated matters tenfold. The baby had to come first. Period. That was a no-brainer.
“Go for it.” Blake studied her as she walked past him.
She had hours to kill before her appointment and being anywhere in his vicinity clogged her thinking. The attraction that was the strongest she’d ever experienced was still on full tilt. He was smart, had a sense of humor that fit hers and had a certain undeniable charm. On top of those qualities, he was one of the, if not the, hottest men she’d ever laid eyes on. The description rock-hard was created for a body like his. Underneath that big brain and quick wit was the kind of person who would put himself in harm’s way to help someone he cared about.
Climbing the stairs knocked the wind out of her. She stood at the top, and a shiver raced down her spine when she glanced at the ladder that was still down. Facing her source of fear, she walked over, closed up the ladder and sent it toward heaven. Enough of that.
The blinds to the guest room were open and the place was bathed in sunlight. She walked to the closet and opened the door. A box was open. This one must be where her yoga pants, and present source of comfort, came from. It struck her that she’d been in such a hurry to leave that she took off without a few of her all-time favorite items.
Alyssa pulled the box toward the bed and plopped down on her backside. Sifting through the clothes, she realized just how much she’d left behind. A favorite sweater. Her all-time favorite hoodie. Leggings that were her go-to bottoms. Strange.
Had she believed she would be coming back?
Divorce papers were a sure sign she had no intention of trying to make her marriage work—a marriage to a man she loved and also had a deep-seeded need to protect from...what? Nasal and Gruff? Bus Stop or the Judge?
The first pair were clearly henchmen. The others? She especially didn’t like the name of the second one. There were implications there she hoped wasn’t the case. If someone from law enforcement was somehow involved, it was over. There’d be no going back. She might as well change her name and leave the country. Bring up her baby on a remote island or over in the Eastern Bloc. Somewhere people went to disappear.
So, yeah, there were a lot of holes in the plan. Not the least of which was the fact that Blake would never stand for his child to be brought up in a place where he couldn’t be part of her life. Then, there was his family to consider. The O’Connors were tight-knit. They were a family rooted deep in the fabric of Texas ranching. Alyssa couldn’t ignore the fact it would be difficult to hide an O’Connor child. Was that the real reason she’d taken off without telling Blake about the pregnancy?
Did she have the order of events wrong in her mind? It was highly possible she’d found out about the pregnancy and the discovery fueled her hurried escape. There was also the timing of her father’s death to consider.
Alyssa believed she and Blake had the kind of relationship where they talked. Late into the night, in fact, after a round of the best sex of her life. And, yes, she remembered that detail very clearly. The kiss in the kitchen helped bring back a flood of memories of just how heated their passion had been and how connected she’d felt to her husband in every way possible.
Right now, she would stick with the divorce happening first and the pregnancy news after. So, what would make her leave? Why would men be after her? And how could any of this be tied to her father’s death?
His cause of death was certain: pneumonia. Not exactly a reason for scary men to come out of the woodwork to chase her. The family business wasn’t one that made her father, or her for that matter, wealthy. It gave them a decent life. Plenty of food. Her dad hadn’t driven a showy car or displayed any signs that he was involved in anything illegal. As far as she knew, he never missed a tax deadline or payment.
According to Blake, her father’s death had sent her into a downward spiral. She could easily see how that might happen as close as she was to the man. Losing him would be one of the most difficult things to overcome.
The part that made no sense was her pushing away the only man she ever loved. And she had loved her husband. He’d never objected to having a baby. To be fair, they’d talked about having kids someday way down the road. Like years later once they were ready. A change in plans with a surprise pregnancy might have been a game changer for their plans but it never would have been a deal breaker.
She snapped back to the fact her husband, ex-husband, would have been there for her no matter what. That’s just how Blake was made. He had more honor in his little finger than most had in their whole bodies.
The sound of feet shuffling up the stairs turned her attention toward the door. For a split-second, her heart leaped in her throat and her hand came up to cover a gasp. The second she saw Blake’s silhouette from down the hall, she exhaled a slow breath.
Once she saw the look on his face, her pulse pounded.
“Liz just called. There was a glitch in the paperwork. Christopher Desmond and Jordan Bennett were released.”
“What? How?”
“Your guess is as good as mine.” He shrugged before glancing at the box. “Is there anything in there you can use?”
“We need to get out of here, don’t we?”
“Yes, but I doubt they’d be stupid enough to come back here. They have to know cops are watching the place. Liz requested a squad car in the front and back of the house while we gather our things. She sent them over before giving me a call because she didn’t want to risk them not getting here in time.”
This wasn’t the time to be jealous, but Liz sure did her best to attend to Blake’s needs before he even realized he needed something. Of course, the woman was looking out for her former partner. Some of her comments this morning crossed a line. But Alyssa couldn’t be picky about who helped them at the moment. She wasn’t in a position to complain or turn down assistance no matter how much she wanted to give Liz a piece of her mind. The officer had made it clear she wasn’t helping Alyssa.
“I’m not sure much of this will fit anymore. I wish I could swing by my apartment to pick up a few things.” She was also hoping seeing the place again would jog her memory. The sensation that everything she needed to know was just out of reach frustrated her to no end.
“It can probably be arranged. After the doctor’s appointment.”
“Where will we go in the meantime?”
He walked inside and sat on the edge of the bed. “That’s a good question. We can wait it out at the station.”
“Yours?” She didn’t want to ask if Liz would be there. She had a haunting suspicion, though.
“Yes.”
“If the guys figured out your address, won’t they also realize where you work?” It was a lame excuse.
“We can stay right here until your appointment.”
“What if different guys show up this time? Bus Stop or the Judge? They could walk right past the uniformed officers and no one would know we’re in danger.” She might be reaching here but it seemed possible.
“They’ve been told to allow no one past.”
“Okay.” The news made her feel a little bit better despite the walls closing in around her. “I found this in the box.” She picked up their wedding album.
He stared out the window before getting up and closing the blinds. It was a stark reminder of the danger they were still in. The idea this situation could get worse caused her stress levels to skyrocket.
Not good for the baby. Granted, this situation was...extreme. There was no questioning the fact. But she didn’t want her baby feeling all the anxiety coursing through her right now. Deep breaths weren’t helping but focusing on her wedding day brought her panic levels down a few notches.
“Mind if I take a look?” she asked.
“Suit yourself.”
“Do we have time?” Giving herself something to focus on besides the danger that could be lurking outside might calm her down.
“Yes.”
She flipped through the pages. The happy looks on everyone’s faces, including hers, made her smile. “I remember this like it was yesterday. Three years went by in a flash.”
“Only two of those were married. This last one has been going through the divorce,” he pointed out. She’d clearly struck a nerve with the photos. And yet, she wanted to remember them in happier times.
“I remember this being the second happiest day of my life.”
He quirked a brow. “Second?”
“Yep. The first was the day you asked me to be your wife.” She remembered it like it was yesterday. He’d taken her to the ranch for a family dinner like he did sometimes on Sundays. The house was full of people, laughter and good conversation. Nothing out of the ordinary except this time her parents had been invited. Blake had done it once before and she’d been suspicious then. This time, she was completely caught off guard. She liked that he was including her parents. They rarely ever went out. The two of them sat in front of the TV every night eating dinner off TV trays. Their relationship was mutual quiet companionship.
It was the exact opposite of what Alyssa shared with Blake. Theirs was built on fire, passion and a bond so tight she thought on her wedding day it could never be broken.
Blake leaned over to her, shoulder to shoulder, and said, “The kiss we shared downstairs. It can’t happen again.”
“I know.” There was no enthusiasm in her response despite him hitting the nail on the head.
Had she been so far off base, so wrong, that it couldn’t be repaired now?
A relationship was built on one key element that would be missing from here on out...trust.
Chapter Fourteen
Blake checked the time. The appointment was getting closer. They could probably swing by early and maybe badge their way inside. Doctors were always generous to police officers and vice versa. No cop he knew wanted to show up in an ER in a bad way and have the doctor hesitate because he recognized a jerk who gave him a speeding ticket for going a couple miles over the speed limit.
The relationship was reciprocal. Maybe he could use some of that goodwill to bump up Alyssa’s appointment and get them on the road a little earlier. Despite the few naps she’d had and the couple hours of sleep she’d gotten last night, she looked tired. The cramps she’d experienced earlier had him concerned. He was still on sea legs when it came to knowing what to do to help her. He needed a crash course in pregnancy and kids. He figured he could learn all he needed to know on the ranch between his mother and brothers.
So far, based on the fact he’d kissed his pregnant ex a couple of times—kisses that sent his pulse racing just thinking about them—and that he was barely keeping her out of the clutches of men determined to hurt her, he’d say he wasn’t crushing it.
Alyssa closed the wedding album and tucked it inside the box. She did so with such care that his traitorous heart clenched. So much had happened in the past twenty-four hours, he was just beginning to process everything. Normally, he needed to get still for a few minutes at some point every day to let his mind do the work so he could relax. This situation was coming at him and through him like a runaway train, and there was no time to process. Pregnancy. Fatherhood. Those weren’t the terms that immediately came to mind when he thought about their relationship. Hell, he’d never expected to see Alyssa again since she’d refused to even talk to him except through lawyers after she left.
He should have a whole lot to say to her about the way she’d left things except that enough time had passed for him to let go of all the pent-up anger he’d felt. Time was the great healer. And even if he didn’t exactly feel healed, he’d accepted her decision. Hearing she made a difficult choice in order to protect him was a gut punch. Protect him from what? Or should he say whom?
The truth of the matter was that she hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him what was going on. Did she think he wouldn’t listen to her or take her seriously? Did she think he would laugh at her?
Yes, there were jerks after her, but he was a cop. He had resources.
“I think this pair of yoga pants might work. I’ve put on a lot of weight with the pregnancy.” Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
He put his hand on her arm, ignoring all the electricity pinging between them at the contact. “You’re even more beautiful now, if that’s at all possible.”
His comment was rewarded with a smile warm enough to light a dozen little campfires in his chest. And, yes, put him at risk of leaning over to close the distance between them and press another kiss to those pink lips of hers.
Bad idea.
So, he distracted himself with his phone, checking his email while she went through the last of the items in the box.
“There are a couple of th
ings in here that might still fit. Basically, underwear at this point.” She held up a pair. Pink. Silk. And he suddenly got an image he didn’t need running around in his thoughts. Although pink was now his favorite color and he couldn’t get the image of the last time she’d worn them out of his thoughts.
Blake pushed off the bed and strode into the master bedroom. He grabbed his weekend hunting duffel from the closet, figuring it never hurt to be prepared. He was good at being a cop in part because he was paranoid. The paranoia made him consider every possible scenario when walking into a dangerous situation. It made him more aware of his surroundings and everything that could go wrong. It had saved his life on more than one occasion.
“If we could somehow pick up my laptop, I would be able to dig into work files and see if this mess is somehow related to the company.” Alyssa stood at the bedroom door. He’d heard her walking down the hallway.
“We can swing by your apartment after the doctor visit. Make sure your mom is ready because we’ll pick her up before heading to the ranch.” He fished his cell out of his pocket and walked it over to her.
As he handed it over, it buzzed. Liz’s name came up and he could swear Alyssa’s muscles tensed up. Did she have a problem with his former partner? For someone who was supposed to be so observant, he’d missed the fact his wife didn’t like his partner. Of course, when it came to Alyssa, he seemed to have a real blind spot.
He put the call on speaker.
“Hey, Liz. I’m here with Alyssa and you’re on speaker. Is that okay with you?”
“Yeah, sure.” Her hesitation had him realizing the feeling between the two was mutual. How had he missed it? He’d known Liz wasn’t Alyssa’s favorite person, but this was bigger. Based on Liz’s reaction and a few of the things she’d said about his ex, he saw this went both ways.
“What’s up?” The faster she got to the point, the better.
“I was calling to let you know the two men we had in custody were found in a parked car on the side of the road shot execution style.”