by Hughes, Maya
“Perfect.” Jules hopped up, grabbed a baker’s box, and loaded it up with three different types of cupcakes, more brownies, and chocolate tarts. “Berk seemed to like those last time I made them, so I added in some extra.” Her gaze was trained on the box like it might disappear at any second.
“I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.”
* * *
A purple envelope stuck out of the mailbox at our front door. I glanced up and down the quiet street. No one was up this early—well, except the baker across the street. I held on to the letter and opened the front door.
Berk froze on the steps, shoving something into his back pocket.
“Where have you been, young man? Out all night?” He came the rest of the way down with his mock dad voice on.
“Nowhere.”
“Nowhere, huh? Wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain pink-haired harasser across the street, now, would it?” He stood at the bottom of the steps, resting against the banister with a self-satisfied grin on his face.
“I might’ve spent some time with Elle.”
“Elle and Nix, sitting in a tree…” he sing-songed.
“But if you’re going to give me a hard time about it, I don’t have to hand over this stuff her roommate baked.”
He froze, snatched the box from my arms, and rushed into the kitchen, starting a pot of coffee. He opened the lid on the box and shoved his head inside, inhaling so loudly I thought he’d have a cupcake or brownie attached to his face when he pulled it out.
“How does she do it?” He picked up one of the treats and shoved it into his mouth. “I swear she’s laced this stuff with something. It’s insane. It’s Pavlovian now. Every time I see their house, my mouth starts watering.”
Pouring a cup of coffee, he took bites from the brownie. After dumping half a cup of milk and five sugars into his coffee, he leaned against the counter.
“On that note, I’ve got something else for you.” I waved the envelope in front of my face.
He dropped the food onto the counter and reached for it. Glancing at his chocolate-covered hands, he licked them clean and wiped them on his sweats before snatching the letter from my grasp.
He rushed past me and back upstairs, leaving his piping hot cup of coffee on the counter.
“Shut the hell up!” LJ called out from the living room.
Berk’s steps thundered above before his door slammed shut.
I poured myself a cup of coffee.
“What the hell is going on with him?” LJ jerked his thumb at the doorway, standing up straight, every bone in his back cracking along the way.
“He got another letter.”
“Who knew he was so into reading.” He yawned and rubbed at his eyes.
“I’m thinking the subject matter is probably a lot different than in class.”
LJ picked up Berk’s abandoned mug and took a sip. There’s always that split second when someone realizes they’ve made a mistake. LJ’s eyes bulged and he rushed to the sink, spraying a fine coffee-colored mist into the basin.
He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Did he pour insulin directly into his coffee or what?”
I didn’t even try to hide my laughter. “That’s what you get for trying to steal his drink. You’re sleeping on the couch? What happened to your bed buddy?”
“I got bumped.”
“She brought a guy home?”
LJ shot me a steel-melting glare. “No.” That word was sharp as a punch.
I held up my hands in surrender.
“Liv, her roommate, needed a place to crash, so I gave them the bedroom.”
“How chivalrous.”
“Not like I can tell her no.”
“Not like you ever could.”
He rolled his eyes. “She’s my best friend.”
“Is that all she is?”
“We’ve known each other since we were eight.”
“You’re not eight anymore.”
“Not this again.” He kept his gaze trained on the mug in front of his face.
“You two are always all over each other.”
“Fighting.”
“Flirting.”
“Annoying the shit out of each other.”
“Foreplay.”
“Been there, done that, did not get the t-shirt.”
I lowered my voice. “If you two actually dated, you never said anything about that.”
He shrugged. “What’s there to tell? There was an attempt, but we decided we’d be better as friends.”
“We?”
He chewed on the side of his lip. “She.”
“So all this bullshit about better as friends and all that—you’re just biding your time?”
His gaze drifted to the floor above our heads. “We almost didn’t make it out the last time we tried and failed. Risking her… I’d rather have her as a friend than lose her altogether, so I’m good with this.” The unspoken ‘for now’ hung in the air between us.
The house came alive with footsteps and doors opening and closing above us. Coffee was the universal alarm clock. Stumbling down the steps like zombies, Marisa, Liv, Reece, and Seph emerged.
Marisa and Liv went over some paperwork from their landlord and insurance company, and the rest of us tried to slowly join the land of the living.
“Do we need to invest in a bigger table?” Reece said from behind Seph, who was perched on his lap with her hands wrapped around her mug, sniffing the sweet aroma she was now hooked on.
“In a few months, half of you are abandoning us, so we’ll have plenty of room then.” Berk leaned against the wall with a look of seriousness that didn’t match his words.
“We’ll be around,” I offered.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” His smile was less teasing and more haunted. “You two have no idea where you’ll be drafted. It’s cool, though—enjoy it while we’re all here together.”
Things would never be the same once Reece and I graduated. We couldn’t let moments like this pass us by. I leaned back against the counter and stared out the slatted blinds at the front of the house and at the falling-apart porch of sixty-six Aspen Drive. Sometimes you have to grab life with both hands and never let it go, and I planned on starting that today.
Berk showed up with flushed cheeks to reclaim his now cold cup of coffee. “Is there a reason Johannsen is outside with a guitar serenading some chick outside her window?”
The whole table jumped up at once, even the people who had no idea what was going on. We piled out onto the porch and stared slack jawed at Johannsen, strumming a guitar standing on the small patch of grass outside a house a few doors down from us.
“I guess now we know why he was hanging around on our street.” LJ craned his neck.
“He’s not half bad.” Marisa laughed.
“Whose house is that?” Seph leaned over on the railing trying to get a better look at the house.
“That’s Willa’s house. I don’t know who else lives there though.” Marisa sipped her coffee with a huge ass smile.
“Willa.” The name rolled around my head. It was familiar. Maybe she’d come to some of our parties. Meeting hundreds of people on and off the field didn’t make it hard to place people.
Berk shot forward. “Willa as in Willa Goodwin?”
All the guys eyes widened. “Brick’s sister?” I glanced up and down the street like he’d come rolling down the center in a tank at any moment.
“Damn, I hadn’t planned on witnessing a murder this semester, but here we are.” Berk shook his head and took another sip of his coffee.
22
Elle
“That’s awesome, Mom.”
“Your father is so excited. At his age, he wasn’t sure he’d find anything.”
“I knew he would.” After nearly eighteen months without work, he’d finally found a position.
“And once he gets that first check, it’s going straight to you.”
“Don’t worry about
it. I’ve got my job here, and I’m making it through okay.” The struggle would only make Dad feel worse. When I’d been home for a visit over the summer, he’d barely been able to look me in the eye, and on my way out, he slipped me a twenty for gas. It killed him not to be able to help me, and I didn’t want to bring back that feeling. The unpaid-bill mountain was high and treacherous. I’d figure out my problems on my own, and the Huffington Award would solve 99% of them, giving me the breathing room I needed for a one-year hibernation after graduation.
“Dinner is burning, so let me get to that, but I wanted to tell you and let you know I love you.”
“Love you too, Mom.”
“We’ll see you at graduation.”
If I make it. I walked out of the tutoring session barely able to keep my eyes open. That’s what happens when you get sexed into next week by a guy who has the stamina of a racehorse. There wasn’t a damn thing that was selfish about Nix in or out of the bedroom. I’d been so damn wrong about him, and it scared me to think how things could’ve gone. It also scared the crap out of me to think where things were going.
We’d stayed over at each other’s places almost every night. It wasn’t like it was far, just across the street, but every time I made the walk over, nerves rumbled in my stomach. Watching him jog across to my side made me giddy and want to do a happy dance before opening the door.
While on campus, I’d stopped by the dean’s office to make sure they’d received my award application, and I might have snuck a peek at the other nominations. Of course, Mitchell’s name was there on the list, but his projects were nowhere near as extensive for the semester. He was my only real competition. Now I needed to make sure I actually graduated so I’d be eligible.
Dead on my feet, I tugged my key out of the lock then slammed the door behind me with visions of my bed dancing in front of me.
As I walked past the kitchen, something soft bounced off my head. I stopped, backing up and looking down at the bright yellow sponge that had hit me and was now sitting on the floor.
Jules glared from the kitchen doorway. “Could you please let me know when Nix is going to be staying here?”
“Why?” I stretched my arms over my head, my back cracking like a new pack of Kit Kats.
“I came out of my room naked like a bridge troll foraging for food and ran straight into him.”
“Stop it.” I glared at her. “You weren’t naked. Your pole outfit is badass.”
“You know I don’t show my arms or legs out in public.”
“The short shorts and crop top were cute.”
“I wanted to crawl into a hole dug twenty feet beneath another hole and die. I’m surprised he didn’t run screaming from the house.”
I snorted. “You’re always hiding the goods. You need to let the girls loose every so often.” I lifted my hand toward her chest.
She smacked my hand away. “If you nip flick me, you’ll pull back a nub.”
I held up my hands in surrender. “Touchy, touchy. Always ruining all the fun.”
“I’m not the one trying to feel up my roommate.”
“All I’m saying is, you’re awesome and beautiful. Stop being so self-conscious.”
“Like you’d even know anything about that.” She scoffed and spun around, her long, thick, black ponytail swishing with each step.
“You don’t think I get self-conscious?”
“It’s not the same, Miss Size Four,” she threw over her shoulder like I’d never wanted to crawl out of my own skin, size notwithstanding.
“You’re not much bigger than me. You’ve got curves for days, and you pole dance. That’s most guys’ wet dream.”
Her gaze narrowed. “I don’t need your pity.” She spun around and disappeared into the kitchen.
Nope, she wasn’t getting away. Not this time. “Who said anything about pity?”
“Whatever.” She wrenched open the cabinet so hard, the craptastic hinge we kept fixing ourselves came loose. “See, I’m the Hulk.” She braced her hands on the counter, her knuckles white around the edges.
“We’ve been trying to get that fixed forever. This isn’t normal Jules frustration. What’s going on?”
“Nothing, I’m fine.” She wiped at her face and worked on fixing the hinge.
“You’re not pulling that with me. What’s the deal? Spill, or I’ll march right across the street and tell a certain football player—”
“My mom wants me to come home this summer.” She kept her head down, the words falling to the cheap linoleum like wet rags. ”Laura is getting married—” Her throat worked up and down. “To Chad, and she wants me to be her maid of honor.”
The blood drained from my face.
She lifted her head with tears and resignation in her eyes.
“Fuck no, you’re not going. Nope, especially not to run after that witch and her fuckboy fiancé. Nope. Not happening. I forbid it.” After the shortest Christmas break visit known to man, I had thought I’d have to buy all the booze in three states to get her through that chapter of her life.
“You forbid it.” She wiped at the corner of her eye. “They’re my family, right? If you had a sister, you’d want to be there for her.”
“I’d also hope she wasn’t a huge cu—”
“Come on, even I draw the line there.” She let out a watery laugh. “The wedding’s next spring. My mom wants me to help them go dress shopping. ‘Stop being such a child, Julia. It’s water under the bridge.’” The false cheeriness was a parody of her mom’s voice. “‘Helping us prepare for the big day will make it all better by the time the wedding arrives, and choosing your dress now means you can work on fitting into it by next year.’” It was a voice so smooth and light it almost made the viciousness of the words lash that much deeper.
“You know I’m solidly in the camp of leaving shitty people in your wake, even if they’re family. Don’t go. I’m begging you.”
“She’s my mom, and my dad would want me to be there for them.”
“Don’t let her manipulate you with that shit.”
“They’re all I have.”
“They’re not. You have me.”
“And you’re graduating. Next year, I’ll be in this place all by myself. Who even knows where Zoe is.”
“You won’t be on your own. I’ll be around.”
She swung her head around. “Do you even know what you’re doing after graduation? You could be in Micronesia for all we know.”
“Or a third semester senior. I’ve put off every single paper for this semester. I’m a little screwed.”
“Maybe instead of racking up even more volunteer hours that you don’t even need, you should get to finishing those papers. The award ceremony is in three weeks. You’re fine. Slow down and think about what you’re going to do after graduation.”
“I was supposed to be the one handing out advice.”
“Glass houses, Elle. Glass houses.”
“Please don’t help Laura with her wedding. Please don’t let them drag you down.”
Jules sighed. “Maybe it won’t be so bad.”
“He’s your ex and cheated on you with your sister—I don’t think that can be not bad.”
“I can push through this and come out the other side. I’m ready to stop feeling like this, like I’m the sister who should be living under the stairs.”
“Then don’t go. We can hang out, help me figure out my life and stay here this summer. No matter what, I’ll be here through August. Don’t go home. Stay here and we can go to the Burger Festival in June and Booze at the Zoo in July. It’ll be the best summer ever. Maybe you can walk straight up to Berk and tell him who he’s been trading letters with.”
She was shaking her head before I could finish the sentence. “Not happening.”
“Why not?”
“I can’t deal with another person staring at me with that intense look of disappointment that makes a part of you die.”
“And you think he’d look at you
that way? No freaking way. He’ll be doing backflips, especially once he sees what you can do on the pole.”
She tugged at her long-sleeved shirt. “I can’t chance it.”
“So you’re never going to tell him who you are? Never meet up and do half the things in those letters?”
“Sometimes the fantasy is better than reality. I’m sure he’s got a picture of who I am in his head and I’d bet a lot of money it looks nothing like me.”
“How do you know? For all you know, he’s picturing the librarian over at Harbin.”
Her head jerked up and she scrunched her face. “She’s, like, seventy.”
“Hey, don’t judge his preferences.”
She lobbed a kitchen towel at me.
“All I’m saying is you’re more likely to regret never saying anything versus going for it.”
“I’m better with the fantasy than taking that chance on a crushing reality. I’ve had more than my fair share already.” She grabbed her computer and fled the kitchen like it was on fire.
Shaking my head, I turned off the oven. My phone rang, and I slipped it out of my pocket.
That light giddy feeling was back. “Hey.”
“What are you baking?”
I spun around and glanced out the kitchen windows at the front of the house. Nix leaned against the railing of his porch across the road. I pulled up the blinds.
“That would be an abomination no one should ever allow to happen. Jules and I were talking.”
“What are you doing tonight?” His voice was like a caress and washed away some of my tiredness.
“I have a couple papers I need to finish and get turned in.”
“So, I can’t come over right now?” His forearms were braced on the edge of the railing, the intensity of his look already set to panty-destroying.
I groaned. “I have to get these done, but I might be finished by ten.”
“Ten? Am I just a booty call? You’re summoning me to service you in the dead of night.”
I smiled at the laughter in his voice. “If you’re not up for the invitation—”