by Hughes, Maya
“Let me help.”
He reached out from me, but I jerked my arms back out of reach. “No. You’ve done enough. If you want to help, keep your fan club out of our way.”
He stared after me from the other side of the gym with a stunned expression on his face, but that didn’t last long. Soon the party moved around him, swallowing him in a crowd of adoring fans.
Good. Let them stay over there, far, far away from me.
* * *
It had been almost three days since the blood drive, and I swore, if I could’ve spit nails, Nix would have been pinned to the nearest wall. I’d cut back on my volunteer hours, because what good was winning the Huffington Award if I didn’t actually graduate? Deadlines breathed down my neck like a horny freshman standing outside the girls’ locker room.
Even worse, I hadn’t heard from Nix—not that I wanted to, but I figured he would’ve at least sent a text or something to apologize for the fiasco he’d caused. But no, nothing. This time it was all freaking him. At the end of the whole thing, someone had lobbed a basketball halfway across the court and nearly taken out the refrigeration unit holding the blood.
I hadn’t expected radio silence from Nix, but maybe it was for the best. We’d had a flirtation, a fling. It was hot, toe-curling sex, quiet nights looking at one another over our piles of books, but better to not have things go any further when I couldn’t trust my feelings when it came to him. He’d made me all lightheaded and irrational. That wasn’t what I needed.
Huffington Award. Graduate. Stipend. Peace Corps? That last one was a nebulous cloud hanging over the end of the year. Then what? I’d focused on this next milestone for so long, but the yawning expanse of after college terrified me. At least the stipend would give me some time to figure it all out.
“I thought you could use some study fuel.” A plate of chocolate chunk brownies slid into view, scraping across the wood grain of my desk.
“You don’t have to keep feeding me, you know.”
“I know.” Jules flopped down on my bed and propped herself up on her arms.
“Something on your mind?” I picked out the chocolate chunks.
Her mouth opened and closed. She scrunched her lips up to one side. “No. Did you want to go out to dinner?”
“I can’t. I’ve got a shift at Uncommon Grounds, but we can use my employee discount to snag some of the quiche before I start.”
She clenched her fist and shoved it down. “Yes, and I can grab a salad from Archie’s.” She nudged her glasses up with her knuckle. “Let me know when you’re ready to go.”
I licked the chocolate off my fingers and checked the time. “Now?”
“Let me grab my wallet.” She grabbed the edge of the doorway and swung back in. “You never said how the blood drive went—success?”
My eyes narrowed, and I may have growled.
“That good, huh?” She laughed.
We made it to Uncommon Grounds and I ordered our food—two quiches and a chicken wrap—then grabbed us a table. Jules came back with the food she’d ordered: a salad with dressing on the side and a water.
I lifted an eyebrow. “Way to make me feel like a glutton.”
She waved off my look. “I’m eating quiche, too, unless you didn’t order one for me.” She eyed the counter behind me. “Plus, I had French toast this morning, and there are still brownies at home.”
Someone behind the counter called out my name, and I picked up our food.
“Do you think Zoe will come back?” Jules split her quiche down the center, letting the steam escape.
“How do we know she hasn’t been coming back? Maybe she’s got an invisibility cloak.” I sipped on my drink.
“It’s going to suck being in the house all alone next year.”
“You won’t be alone. You can get new roommates. Hell, rent out Zoe’s room and pocket the cash. It’s not like she’ll even know.”
“I’m serious. Maybe I’ll move into a single on campus or something.”
“And leave behind the luxury of our little shack? What about baking?”
“Maybe I don’t need to bake as much.”
“Your head would explode if you couldn’t.”
Her frown deepened and she nodded.
“Are you going to tell me what the deal is or do I have to torture it out of you? I can do things with kitchen utensils that would make anyone break. Ever seen a spatula snapped in half?”
“You’re a monster. You know that?” Her gaze darted to the table.
“Spill.”
She licked her lips and peeked around the edge of the booth. “The notes.” Swirling ice in her glass was apparently now a new wonder of the modern world. “Berk wants to meet me.”
“What’s the problem?”
Her eyes widened and she sat back in her seat before hunching over and hissing across the table. “He’s freaking perfect, that’s what’s the problem.”
“No one’s perfect.”
“He’s damn near close. The notes have changed. It’s not all Dear Penthouse letters like you think it is. He’s different than I thought he’d be.”
“Different how?” I leaned in.
“Just different. I didn’t think he’d care after the first couple, but then we started talking more, about ourselves.” She picked at the label on her water bottle.
“Again, what’s the problem?”
“His cock cleavage could sink a thousand ships.”
I choked on my soda. “Cock cleavage?”
“That V-thing only super-hot guys get. It’s like a giant arrow pointing toward their junk like, You’re in for a treat, ladies.”
“Wow, I never knew that had a name.”
“I mean, I don’t think it’s the technical medical name for it or anything.”
I tilted my head. “You don’t say.”
She chucked a cube of ice at me. “Anyway, he wants to meet, but I’m not okay with that.”
“Then don’t meet with him.” I shrugged.
“But I really want to.”
“You just said you weren’t okay with it.”
“I’m not, but I want to.”
My quiche was no longer at mouth-melting levels.
Jules scooted her salad closer to her and dove in with gusto.
“Is this a booty-call type of situation? I’ve seen some of your scribbles on those notes.”
“It started that way, all hot and heavy, but somehow other things have been slipping in. In the last letter, there was only one mention of my pussy.”
And there went the chicken down my windpipe. Dropping my food, I bent over, trying to keep myself from asphyxiating on chicken and cheese.
Wheezing, I choked out. “What a romantic?”
“He really is.” She got a dreamy look in her eyes. “Way more than I expected.”
“I don’t suppose you’re going to maybe tell him who you are any time soon?”
Her eyes got wide like I’d asked to see naked pictures of her.
There was a commotion toward the entrance of Uncommon Grounds. I peered around the edge of our booth and scowled. Fucking Trojans, always making a mess wherever they went.
25
Nix
Who doesn’t love a steaming cup of coffee as a nice refresher after a workout? Earlier, I’d wormed out of someone behind the counter that Elle had a shift tonight. I’d thought the place would be quiet, but it was jam-packed. I scanned the coffee shop.
Elle’s faded pink hair disappeared from view the second our gazes collided.
I headed straight for the table, not deterred by any of the waves from other people in the coffee shop.
“Hey, Nix.” Jules peered over the top of her cup with both hands wrapped around it.
Elle shot her a look meant for a traitor.
“Elle…” She was beautiful as always, and the speeches I’d worked on flew out of my head like a fumbled ball. I hadn’t wanted to talk to her until I’d fixed everything.
She brushe
d right past me and walked behind the counter.
“Go ahead.” Jules nudged me with her elbow and gave my arm a reassuring squeeze before walking off.
“Can I talk to you?”
“No.” She tied an apron around her waist. “Can I help whoever’s next?”
Someone walked up behind me. I turned around. “What did you want? I’ll pay.”
The girl’s eyed widened and her gaze bounced from me to Elle. “Double mocha iced coffee. Extra whipped cream.”
Turning back around, I gave Elle the order.
She didn’t move. Her arms were crossed over her chest like she’d had a run-in with Medusa.
“I didn’t think about the logistics of the whole blood drive thing and how a whole lot of uninvited people could screw that up. I—”
She grabbed a cup and made the drink with a ruthless efficiency and attention to detail.
Leaning over the counter, she handed the cup around me to the girl standing beside me, staring at our little display like it was her new favorite show.
“I wanted to make it up to you.”
“Next.” Elle looked right through me.
Waving the next person forward, I got their order. “Meghan, here, will take a double espresso.”
“Coming right up.” If she wasn’t careful, she’d crack a tooth.
“Elle…” I covered her hand with mine, and she snatched it back.
“No, Nix. No. You can’t just keep barging into my life.”
“I fucked up. I was only trying to help, but I did it the wrong way. I know that now, but I want to make it up to you and get even more blood donations than you’d have ever gotten before. Just let me try.”
The look of skepticism was palpable. Her mouth opened and closed. “How?” There was a wariness to her that I hated seeing.
“With another blood drive.”
“It’s not even going to be worth it. For the numbers we pull in, I’m sure they’re not going to give us another slot before everyone leaves for the summer.”
“What if it was? What if there were over three hundred people who could give? And they were all cleared ahead of time and met all the requirements?”
Her eyebrows dipped in confusion.
“After that day, I went and checked on all the things people need to do before they can donate, and I asked my coach if we could do it at the stadium with all the players there. I got the yes from everyone on the team and the facilities crew, and we’re at your disposal. You have the full run of the facility and any of the concessions to have enough food for the volunteers and people giving blood.”
“We could call it Give on the Gridiron.” Her eyes lit up.
“The entire FU Trojans machine is behind you, whatever you need. I know this is all my fault. I’m used to—well, I’m used to just showing up to things like that. My dad’s always got me doing that kind of stuff, and I’ve never had to think about the logistics. I know how important this is to you and how much work you put into everything, and I don’t want people to have to be hurt because of my mistake.”
“Um, excuse me.” There was a tap on my back. “Can I have my coffee?”
“Sorry, let me make that.” Elle made the drink in record time and handed it back to the girl standing beside me with her gaze bouncing between me and Elle.
I ordered three more drinks for other people before the line died down.
“Why didn’t you call or text?” Elle wiped down the counter.
“Words weren’t enough. I didn’t want to tell you I was sorry—I wanted to show you I was sorry. It took me some time to get them to agree to let me use the field and make sure I could do this for you. That’s why I waited. The final okay came down from the facilities guys earlier today and I knocked on your door before coming here to tell you, but you weren’t home.”
“Are you serious about all this?” She peered up at me with an uncertainty in her eyes that stabbed me straight through the heart. Her trust was hard won, and I wasn’t going to mess it up again.
“I’m a constant fuckup around you, something about always trying to impress you and failing miserably.”
“You’re trying to impress me?” She stood up straight with a question in her eyes.
“Damn, it’s even worse than I thought if you can’t even tell.”
“Did you order already?” someone asked behind me.
“I’ll let you get back to work. Come to the stadium tomorrow at seven and we can go over everything you’ll need. We can make this the best event in FU history.”
“In the morning?”
“Bright and early.” I backed away from counter and ducked out before she could tell me no. I headed back to the house, determined to show her how much this meant to me, how much she meant to me.
26
Elle
The lights on the field flooded the space as the blood drive stretched into the third hour. Music played on the far end of the end zone where there was a touchdown game set up. Nix hadn’t been lying when he’d said the whole team was at my disposal. Berk, LJ, Reece, and the rest of the players had gone door to door in a lot of the dorms and off-campus housing to find volunteers.
Sponsors came out of the woodwork in the few days following the announcement. There was food, drinks, prizes, t-shirts, and more. It was part carnival, part good deed, and everyone was having so much fun. The might of the FU machine behind anything changed the scale in a huge way.
What other projects could benefit from this level of visibility?
“Holy shit, this is the coolest event you’ve ever put together.” Jules stared up at the stadium lights and pushed her glasses up her nose.
“It’s the first time I’ve had a literal stadium of people ready to do my bidding.”
“I take it this means Nix is out of the doghouse.” The corner of her mouth lifted.
“On his way there.”
Berk bounded up beside me. “Elle, Nix said to check with you on where we should put these t-shirts.”
Jules’ eyes bulged and she froze like we wouldn’t be able to see her anymore if she didn’t move.
“They can go by the far exit so people can pick them up on the way out.”
Berk shouted across the field to the guys holding the massive boxes of folded shirts.
“You remember my roommate, Jules, the baker.”
Berk’s eyes widened and he stepped closer to her. “I could eat your treats any day of the week.”
“You should probably buy me dinner first.” A stuttering laugh broke free from her mouth and scarlet blush traced a trail up her neck.
“If you keep baking like that, I’ll keep you as fed as you need—truckloads’ worth, if need be.”
Jules’ smile died a lopsided death and she crossed her arms over her chest. “Thanks.”
“It was nice meeting you.” He held out his hand, and Jules offered hers like he was a bear looking for a meal. Berk rushed back across the field to grab a box of shirts that had fallen and busted open.
“Fucking truckloads.” Jules shook her head and looked after him.
“He didn’t mean anything by it. Seriously.”
“Spare me, Elle.”
“Go talk to him. Tell him about the letters.”
“After that? Are you serious? Why not just tie myself to the field goal naked and give everyone a chance to experience my embarrassment?”
“If you don’t tell him, you’ll never know.”
“I’ve never had my heart carved out of my chest with a rusty spoon, but I’m pretty sure it would suck. My timeslot to donate blood is about to start. I’ll see you later.” Jules hustled to the intake area.
“Elle.” The coordinator strode across the field toward me.
“Are things going okay? I know it’s a bit of madness, but I thought with things cordoned off, it would keep that away from the donors.”
“This is the most amazing drive we’ve ever run. We’ve never had turnout like this from a school of this size. It might ac
tually be the biggest single day donation we’ve ever had. I can’t thank you enough. Going into summer once all the schools are finished, it’s rough for us, but this will do so much good.” She pulled me in for a huge, bone-creaking hug.
“It was a group effort. Nix Russo is the one who got everyone ready to work. So many people put in the hours to make this happen.”
“And we are so grateful. I need to get back to my station, but I wanted to say thank you. Tell Phoenix I said thank you as well.” She waved and headed back to the donation area.
“I will.”
People walked around the stadium with their Give on the Gridiron t-shirts, eating popcorn and hot dogs. Laughter and music surrounded me. It was a sea of people who’d never have found this without the work Nix had put in. The need to see him overwhelmed me.
Rushing from the field, I asked everyone I passed if they’d seen him. LJ looked up from his face-painting and pointed in the direction of one of the tunnels.
Nix came out of one of the doors with a couple other guys, all balancing large boxes. “These are the stress ball footballs. They ran out over in the donor area, so take them there,” he directed the others before spotting me. “Go ahead guys, I’ll catch up.” He turned to me. “Is everything okay?”
The words stalled in my throat. Leaning over the box between us, I reached up with both hands and cradled his face, attacking his lips like I’d wanted to since the last time I touched them.