by Piper Rayne
“Regardless, I do want you here, and I don’t want to talk about us. We said we wouldn’t do that. This process is about you. I’m going to see the contractor tomorrow because it’s ludicrous that it’s taking so long. He’s screwing you around.”
“I’ll go with you.”
“No. Let me scare him a little.” He grins and flexes a bicep.
I laugh. “You like playing bodyguard, huh?”
“More than I care to admit.” He runs a hand through his hair, and the sudden urge to kiss him makes my lips tingle. He peers at me from the side.
“Liam,” I scold, but he’s quick to recover.
“This is step three. You take a piece of paper out of this jar every day and you have to do the task.”
“And if I don’t do it?”
“I’ll spank you.” He waits for my reaction. Truth is, my body is red hot at the prospect and I’m sure my face gives away that I find the notion a little exciting. “Jesus, don’t look like that.”
“Like what?”
He blows out a breath. “Like you’re about to turn over and ask me to get started.”
“I was not.”
He shoots me an expression as if to say, “Yeah, yeah, you were.”
“This is exciting. Do I start now?” I try to push our flirty banter behind us before I really do ask him to smack my ass.
He runs a hand through his hair again. “Sure.”
I wiggle my ass and get comfy on the bed, dipping my fingers into the jar. I pluck out a pink piece of paper. He watches me unfold it, and there in his scratchy handwriting is my task.
* * *
Have dinner by yourself out in public.
* * *
I drop it, and sourness rumbles in my stomach.
“What did you get?” I hold it out to him, and he nods. “Ah, FYI, that’s probably the one you’ll find the hardest.”
“I’m not sure I can do it.”
A meal alone probably wouldn’t be a big deal to most people. I know that lots of people eat on their own at restaurants. I’ve just never been the kind of person who’s comfortable doing it. I’d feel as though everyone was judging me and wondering why I didn’t have a companion.
“Sure, you can.” He stands and stares at me for a moment. “You got this. You’ve been doing great.”
I slide my legs off the bed, and I’m about to approach him. Hug him and maybe linger there so I can smell him. Anything that doesn’t cross the line but quenches some of my thirst for him.
But the door flies open and a big body jumps on my bed.
I grab the jar at the last second and place it on the floor by my bed.
Denver misses it entirely because he’s self-centered. “I thought I’d find you guys bumping uglies!” He laughs, sitting up to chomp on his piece of pizza.
“Where did you get that pizza?” Liam asks with a scowl.
“It just got delivered. Get it while it’s hot.”
Liam inhales a deep breath and his eyes find mine for a moment. I guess he wasn’t planning on going to bed.
“Jesus, can’t you buy your own fucking pizza?” Liam stomps out of the room.
Denver looks at me. “What’s his problem?”
“You need to grow up and, I don’t know, contribute around here a little bit.”
“Where’s all this coming from?”
I shake my head. “I’m not going to live forever, Denver. One day you’ll have to take care of yourself.”
He stares at me with wide eyes and a shocked expression.
I rerun the words through my head. “I didn’t mean, I just meant—”
Denver sits up on the bed. “Do you want to talk about something?”
For whatever reason, the genuine concern in my brother’s gaze brings a surge of emotions to the surface. A tear almost slips from my eye and I wipe it away, but Denver sees it.
He inches closer. “Talk to me. What’s going on? Did something happen while I was gone? I mean, he’s my best friend and all, but blood first. I’ll kick his ass if I need to.”
But it’s not that. It’s so much more than that.
My head falls into my hands and the tears pile on top of one another. I’m not even sure where it’s all coming from, but I can’t hold in all my worries and fears anymore. They’re overflowing and I want them purged out of me. “No. I’m just so messed up.”
“No, you’re not. I mean, you can be a little crazy about germs and neatness, but there’re people much worse than you.” Denver puts his arm around my shoulders. “Look at me. I’m not perfect.”
I wipe my eyes. “You enjoy your life, right?” I peek through my eyelashes to see his reaction.
“I fucking love my life. Yeah.”
“I hate mine,” I admit.
Every muscle in his face droops at the same time. “No, you don’t. It’s just stress that has you saying this. It does crazy things to people.”
I shake my head. “I hate my life. I hate who I’ve become.”
Denver looks around. “I’m not equipped to handle this, Sav. I’m not the fix-it one of the Baileys. I’m the make-you-laugh-at-your-problems guy, not the serious one. Want me to get Liam? You guys have some weird connection. He’ll probably know what to say.”
“No. I don’t want anyone to know. I shouldn’t even be telling you this. I’m just having a bad day. Tired after a long weekend. I’m sure that’s it.” I know I shouldn’t have admitted that anything is wrong. No one can handle it if I lose my shit. I have to squash this before he calls someone else in the family and says something to them. “Plus, it’s my time of the month. Probably hormones.”
Denver leans back. “Well shit. That’s it. Women murder men on their period. Thank God, you scared the shit out of me.”
I nod, wiping the tears away. “I’m just going to go to bed.”
“That’s a good idea. Do you need me to go to the store or anything?”
I smile at my sweet brother. He’s lazy and a freeloader, but he’d do anything for any one of us when it comes down to it. “No, I’m good. Thanks.”
He heads to the door but turns my way. “Hey, Sav?”
“Yeah?”
“You know that it’s okay to want more, right? That if you really want to change yourself or your life, you can? You just have to give it a go.”
I nod. “Thanks. Goodnight, Denver.”
He shuts the door, and I sit on my bed, staring at the jar of notes Liam made for me. Standing, I look out my window and spot Liam heading into the barn with the pizza box. I inhale deeply. Am I strong enough to take what I want without caring whether or not things will work out perfectly?
Twenty-Four
Savannah
On Friday night, I sit down at Lard Have Mercy to have dinner by myself. Yes, I’ve put it off all week, but between work and organizing the charity event, I’ve been swamped, so Liam gave me a pass. As long as I did it before the end of the week, it was okay.
The place is pretty empty for a Friday night. There’s just me, two families, and a few people on the stools. I take a picture of the empty bench seat across from me and pull up a text message thread I have going with Liam.
Me: Care to join me?
Three dots appear right away, and I wonder how he can be so fast when he’s at work.
Liam: You got this. Enjoy your own company.
I put my phone on the table, happy that Holly’s mom, Karen, isn’t working today because then I’d be having dinner with her.
Splurging—on calories at least—I order a burger and fries along with a strawberry milkshake, then I pull out the magazine I brought. I purposely didn’t bring something business-related. I flip the pages, reading articles about how to make your eyes pop, all about the fall trends to get excited about, celebrity news, and what used to be my favorite—astrology. I used to love reading my horoscope back in high school.
Scrolling my finger down the page, I find Virgo.
Venus enters your sign on Wednesday, making a
ll your wishes come true—and perhaps a romantic one in particular? The weekend boosts your love life in a major way.
Love. Romantic partner. I’m not sure about a partner, but I’m growing tired of not having Liam, that’s for sure.
I start an article about sex positions that’ll give you mind-blowing orgasms. If only I needed the advice. Lately, all roads lead to sleeping with Liam. Pretty soon, I suspect, we’re not going to be able to hold back, so I better make sure I can compare to all the women who came before me.
“Excuse me?” A small voice interrupts my thoughts.
I glance at the end of the booth, shut the magazine, and slide it off the table into my lap because there’s a little girl standing there, and she doesn’t need to be traumatized.
“Hello,” I say with a guilty voice.
“Are you Savannah Bailey?”
I look around and locate the girl’s parents two booths over, smiling at our exchange. “I am.”
Is she going to slap me? Is she going to tell me I stole money from her family and now she has to sell all her toys and wear hand-me-downs?
“Can you please sign this?” She slides over one of the paper placemats and places a pen on it.
I glance at her parents with confusion. “Why do you want me to sign it?”
“Because my mommy told me that you’re an amazing businessperson. I’m going to run a company one day.” She leans forward. “I’m sorry about your parents.” She draws back again and puts her hands behind her back. She can’t be more than seven, maybe eight. “Mommy says everyone thought you were going to fail, but you didn’t. That if I was looking for a real-life hero to look up to, you should be her.”
My eyes well with tears and I look at the mother and mouth, “Thank you.”
She nods, but she really has no idea how much I needed to hear this as our company sits in limbo, barely profiting for the last couple of months. Not that anyone knows that but Grandma Dori, a couple guys in finance, and me.
“What’s your name?” I ask.
“Paisley.”
“Well, Paisley, you just made my night.” I scribble her name and “The future is female,” then I sign my name.
She reads it when I hand it over. Her eyes widen. “Thank you, Mrs. Bailey.”
I smile. “It’s Miss Bailey, and you’re very welcome.”
She runs over to her parents, and I give them a little wave. I feel embarrassed yet still honored. I look around to see if someone set me up. This feels like something Liam might do to make me feel better about myself, but there’s no one in sight.
A few minutes later, I’m still waiting for my meal and sitting in awe over my encounter with Paisley. Her parents stop at the table to say their thanks, and I slide out of the booth to shake both their hands, but my magazine falls to the floor and opens up on the sex position page.
You’ve got to be kidding me.
The mom looks down and cracks a smile. I scoop it up before Paisley sees it, since she’s begging her dad to buy something from the small machines in the front of the diner. Thank goodness.
“Have a great evening, Miss Bailey.” The mom touches my shoulder, eyeing the magazine.
“Thank you.”
She stops and silently tells her husband to move along with Paisley. “I wanted to thank you myself. My husband worked for North Forest Lumber Company, and when it closed so abruptly, we suddenly didn’t have a paycheck coming in. Bailey Timber taking on so many of those workers saved a lot of families.” She tears up. “You saved us before we ever had a chance to drown, so I wanted to thank you.”
I grab her arms and pull her into me. “You’ve made my night. You and Paisley and your husband. Thank you so much. Thank you so very much.”
She giggles into my shoulder and I catch Paisley staring at us with questions in her eyes.
“I’m sorry. I’m such a mess.” I let loose an awkward chuckle.
“It’s okay. Please enjoy your night.” The woman pats my shoulder and joins her husband and daughter walking out of Lard Have Mercy.
“Very nice people,” the waitress says, and I slide back into the booth, tucking the magazine into my purse. “They paid for your dinner.”
“No. I can’t—”
“It’s done, honey. They wanted to do it.” She slides my burger, fries, and milkshake on the table.
I’m chomping on my first fry when my phone dings in my purse.
Liam: How’s it going? I’m between clients.
Me: Better than I could have imagined.
Liam: Please tell me you’re not getting an orgasm from the blueberry pie?
I laugh, and the waitress glances over.
Me: Well, it HAS been awhile.
Liam: We could solve that problem tonight. ;)
Me: I thought you weren’t supposed to flirt with me.
Liam: I may have to take that back and call myself a liar. It’s too hard not to.
Me: LIAM.
Liam: SAVANNAH.
Me: Thanks for making me do this.
Liam: You’re welcome. <3
I tuck my phone into my purse and eat my burger and my fries, thinking about how taking on the workers from the North Forest Lumber Company is what’s put a dent in our profits. We didn’t take over as many contracts as I thought we would after Clint Edison was arrested for embezzlement and his company shut down. But seeing the result of that decision—a family that isn’t out on the street—seals for me that it was the right decision. I’m confident the contracts will come. We just have to stay afloat until they do.
I’m finishing my milkshake when the bell above the door rings.
“Hey, stranger.” Juno slides into the booth across from me, the ever-present Colton at her side.
“Hey.”
“I would’ve joined you if I knew you were coming.” She looks at my plate.
There are things I would never keep from my siblings, but this one is between Liam and me. “I wanted to eat by myself. What are you guys doing here?”
Juno rolls her eyes. “Denver’s dragging us out to Sunrise Bay. Some new bar opened up. He said he needs a wingman.”
“And you are the two for the job?”
Juno shrugs and looks at Colton.
He answers, “Guess so.”
“Wanna come?” Juno asks, sitting straight up as if she just had the most brilliant idea.
I shake my head. “No.”
“Come on. It’ll be so much fun. Colton is supposed to be Denver’s wingman, and we can be each other’s.”
“Why are you going if Colton is Denver’s wingman?”
She shrugs. “Colton asked me to go.”
“I’m not sure you guys understand the meaning of the word.” I want to scream at them to just date one another, but they both swear they only have platonic feelings for each other.
I said that once about Liam. Lies. All lies.
“Come on,” Juno whines. “I haven’t seen you in, like, two weeks. What’ve you and Liam being doing? There have been no reports on Buzz Wheel or anything.”
“I’ve been swamped at work.”
Her face lights up as if she just remembered something. “Grandma Dori is finally moving out!”
I’m surprised. I would’ve thought she’d be there until my place was fixed and she lost her leverage to keep me at Liam’s. “What made that happen?”
“She started the oven and the magazine articles I’d tossed in there filled my place with smoke. She said she can’t fix me and she’s out.”
Colton and I laugh. Few could live with Juno. Kingston can, but he’s barely in town for half of the year because of his job.
“That’s good news for you.”
She smiles and nods. “One hundred percent. Bad news for you though—rumor has it that Ethel’s on the hunt for you. You’ve missed two knitting classes.”
Shit. I completely forgot to ask Samara to cancel those lessons.
“I have no idea how I forgot.” I lean back in the booth and cross
my arms.
“Well, you know Ethel. She’ll figure out a way to punish you,” Colton says.
“Are you guys nailing each other?”
Juno’s question throws me for a moment. “What?”
“You and Liam. Come on, Sav. Your behavior has all the ‘I just started screwing someone’ signs. I haven’t seen you in weeks. You’re skipping out on your commitments.”
“Knitting class is hardly a commitment. I’m not even paying her.”
“Still. This is like high school, when the girl gets a boyfriend and stops talking to her friends because she spends all her time with said boyfriend.”
Colton stands. “This sounds like a sibling thing. I’ll be over there.” He sits at the counter and pulls out his phone.
I lean in across the table. “Well, I’m not doing anything with Liam.”
“Why not?”
“Juno, can we all just stick to our own business?”
She rolls her eyes and slides out of the booth. “Not sure why you’re here alone when you have a hot guy down the street who clearly wants you. I always thought you were the smartest Bailey. Have a fun night with your vibrator.”
She collects Colton and leaves. Too bad she missed me flipping her the bird. She’s so snarky when it comes to Liam and me.
It takes me a minute, but I realize that Juno is kind of right. Why am I fighting this? Liam and I are obviously attracted to one another. We can take it slow and see where it goes. Maybe it will fizzle out as quickly as it ignited.
With Liam’s help, I’m getting better at taking things as they come, without any guarantees. I think back to the motorcycle ride, the different tasks scribbled on colorful paper that he’s had me do all week, and the journal and meditation. Mostly I think about that little girl, Paisley, and what she said about everyone doubting that I could successfully run the company. It wasn’t like I didn’t know that at the time, but did I care? No. I wasn’t scared stiff by failure back then, so why am I now? Maybe things with Liam will be amazing, and maybe they won’t. But either way, I’ve already been through one of the most painful, life-altering crises a person can go through and survived.