by Miers, Fiona
“You were jealous of Joseph spending an evening at a poetry reading with Emma?” James asked.
“It shames me to admit it, but yes.”
“Why are you ashamed?” Robert asked.
“Jealousy is a perfectly natural emotion, Charles,” Thomas said.
“But not for me. I have never felt jealous in that regard. Emma had never given me any reason to, either,” Charles said.
“Why now?” Thomas asked.
“Is it not obvious?” Robert asked.
The brothers, including Charles, stared silently at Robert, awaiting an elaboration.
“Charles is in love,” Robert said, and motioned towards their eldest sibling.
Thomas and James turned their surprised countenances towards Charles and grins appeared on their faces.
“You are in love with Emma?” James asked.
In the past, Charles would have argued and protested any sort of feeling which was more than platonic, but at that very moment he knew it would be futile.
“I cannot believe this,” James said softly. “My entire life I have been convinced you were unable to love any other person except yourself.”
Charles cocked his head and watched as James chuckled to himself.
“All right, all right,” Robert said, and fobbed James off. “That is quite enough. Our brother came to us with a problem, and instead of mocking him, we should try to assist him.”
James pursed his lips briefly and nodded. “Of course. I was merely jesting.”
Charles gave James a knowing nod and drew in a deep breath. “Emma and I parted on terrible terms. So much so, that she did not even wish for me to join them visiting her parents. I have hurt her more than I could ever imagine, and it was not intentional. I am certain she will not forgive me, and if she does not, I will completely understand. But that is not what I want.”
“What do you want, Charles?” James asked.
He paused for a moment and pursed his lips. There were many things he wished to say to Emma, and many things he wished to explain. He did not know how to put them into words.
His thoughts were utterly undistinguishable and they made no sense. He lowered his gaze and stared at his hands clasped together. “I had not been fortunate to marry for love as you all have, and I must admit, I am envious of that. I see the manner in which you and your wives look at one another. It has made me realise what is lacking in my own life. Only I realised it too late.”
“What do you want us to do?” Thomas asked.
“I am not certain whether anything can be done. Emma does not wish to have me with her. I have caused irreparable damage not only to our relationship, but to her as well. I do not know how to fix it,” Charles said, and his shoulders slumped.
Thomas, James and Robert exchanged worried glances and slowly approached their brother.
“Charles,” Robert said, “I can see it is difficult for you. We all can, but we know that Emma cares for you. She would not have behaved in that manner if she did not. She was hurt, certainly, but she is a rational woman and would not allow her emotions to cloud her judgement.”
“Perhaps they should,” Charles said with a sigh.
“What do you mean?”
“I do not wish for her to think rationally. I wish for her to tell me what she feels, because if there is even a small chance for us to reconcile, I will do everything in my power to show her that she is the most important person in my life. I cannot live without her,” Charles said. “I do love her. I never thought I would be able to say those words, but they are true. I love Emma with all my heart, and I am ashamed it has taken me such a long time to realise it.”
James smiled and placed his hand reassuringly on Charles’ shoulder. “Trust me when I say, I fully comprehend that.”
“Now that we are clear on your feelings, Charles, let us begin to form a plan of action on how you will be able to mend things with Emma,” Robert said.
“And,” Thomas said, “make her fall in love with you as well.”
“That would certainly be ideal,” Charles said, a hopeful smile forming on his lips.
Chapter Thirteen
Emma glanced at Catherine seated beside the bed, softly reading her mother’s most adored stories, and a smile formed on her lips. She was immensely proud of her eldest daughter, as she had been assisting with caring for her grandmother in a way Emma had not expected.
Catherine was kind and caring. Her daughter was a compassionate young woman. But Catherine was also brave, remaining positive and strong, and had not shown any sadness of fragility.
As Emma folded Caroline’s garments, she listened to Catherine reading, and her heart suddenly longed for Charles, although she wasn’t sure why. Despite his upsetting behaviour, she did, in fact, miss him. She was tired of evading Roland’s questions as to why Charles had not joined them, and when she finally did mention that he was busy, her father expressed his disapproval.
Emma did not wish to speak ill of Charles, especially not to her father, and simply chose not to elaborate when he asked, changing the topic of conversation swiftly. Emma did not wish to think of Charles, although she was unable to help herself as she studied Catherine.
“Catherine, if there is anything you need...” Emma said quietly.
“I will be fine, Mother,” Catherine said.
“Very well.”
Catherine briefly glanced at Emma and gave her mother a reassuring nod, which made Emma feel better about leaving. She quietly departed the room, her heart swelling with pride, and she continued with the chores to ensure Caroline received the best care possible.
After completing all her tasks, she entered the drawing room, where Roland’s writing desk stood, and she sat on the wooden stool. She gathered her father’s stationery and began to write a letter to Charles, telling him how proud she was of Catherine, and that she had been at fault for telling him not to join them.
The children needed their father, and she needed him to come as soon as he was able. She also explained that her mother was not doing well, and it would only be fitting if he were there to say his goodbyes. She did not wish for her family to have ill feelings towards Charles when he was not there during her last days.
Emma heard footsteps from the hallway and stopped writing. She watched as Catherine quietly entered the drawing room and she approached the desk.
“How is your grandmother?”
“She has fallen asleep. I do enjoy reading to her, Mother.”
“That is wonderful. I am very proud of how much you helped me today, and of course, for helping your grandmother.”
Catherine lowered her gaze and hesitated for a moment.
“What is the matter?” Emma asked her eldest daughter.
“Will Grandmother get better?” Catherine asked.
“That is a difficult question to ask, and an even more difficult one to answer.”
“She is ill, I am aware of it.” Catherine said, her eyes shining with hope. “I have seen her stomach and it does not look good. And I also see the worry in your eyes, and in Grandfather’s, even though you try to hide it well. I know I am still a child and that you may not want to tell me the truth about Grandmother’s condition, but I would like to know.”
“Catherine, after what I saw you do today, I have no doubt in my mind that you have a full understanding of what is happening. And if you wish to know, I will tell you.”
“Thank you, Mother.”
Emma reached for her hand and squeezed it lightly. “Your grandmother has a tumour inside her belly. It is growing at a dangerous rate, and soon she will not be able to breathe properly. Her physician does not think that she has much time left, which is why we had to make the journey with such haste.”
“And there is nothing anyone can do to help her?” Catherine asked.
“The only thing we can do is care for her, make her comfortable, and let her know that she is loved.”
Catherine nodded slowly, like a girl twice her age, “That
is why I read to her today. She has done the same for me when I was ill. Do you recall that, Mother?”
“Indeed, I do,” Emma said, fighting back tears of sadness.
Catherine glanced down at the partially written letter on the desk and her eyes began to sparkle. “Are you writing to Father?”
“Indeed, I am, my dear Catherine. Do you wish to write to your father as well?”
“I would love to,” Catherine said with a happy nod.
“I am practically finished—”
Before Emma was able to complete her words, urgent footsteps came towards the drawing room. Emma rose to her feet. A young servant entered the room and looked at Emma.
“Your Grace, there is a visitor for you.”
“A visitor?” she repeated. Who would visit her here?
“Indeed. Quite persistent, he is.”
“I will only be a moment,” Emma said to Albert and turned to Catherine. “You may write to your father. I will be back shortly.”
“Thank you, Mother,” Catherine said with a smile and sat at the writing desk.
Emma left the drawing room and began to make her way down the hallway, following Albert. She stopped abruptly when Charles’ cousin came into view. “Joseph?”
“Emma, thank goodness you are here,” Joseph said and waved a dismissive hand at Albert.
The servant however, glanced at Emma to ask permission to leave.
“It is fine, Albert,” Emma assured him, and he hastily left, eyeing Joseph suspiciously.
“What on earth are you doing here?” she demanded.
“I came to speak with Charles regarding the legal missive he sent me, wanting to purchase my share of the textile business.”
“How did you know we were here?” she asked, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.
She did not trust Joseph, and she knew that he was not being truthful with her.
“Does it matter?” he asked.
“Of course, it matters. Charles is not even here,” Emma said.
“Oh,” Joseph said, though he didn’t look entirely surprised.
“But whomever informed you of the whereabouts of the children and I ought to have also informed your that Charles was not here.”
“He has not returned to London?” he asked.
“You are such fool,” Emma said.
“Joseph? Is that you?”
Emma sighed a breath of relief when Roland stepped into the hallway and glanced briefly at her.
“Good afternoon, my lord. I do apologise for arriving unannounced.”
“Unannounced, indeed.”
Emma pursed her lips and clasped her hands together and much to her relief, her father came to her aid, clearly noticing her discomfort.
“Join me for refreshment in the smoking room,” Roland said.
“Oh, no thank you. I am only here—”
“It was not a request,” her father interjected firmly.
“Very well,” Joseph said, and as he turned away from Emma, Emma glanced gratefully at her father before rushing back to the drawing room.
Upon entry, her brow furrowed as the writing desk was cleared of her letters. She turned to Catherine, who sat on the sofa reading a book.
“Catherine?” Emma asked. “Where are all the letters?”
“One of the servants collected them to go to the mail carrier. Why, Mother? You were finished with your letter to Father, were you not?”
“Yes, I was,” Emma said with a nod.
Although there were still a few things she wished to include in her correspondence to Charles, she would now be able to tell it to him in person.
CHARLES SIPPED HIS tea as he sat quietly in the parlour recalling the conversation between himself and his brothers the previous evening. They had provided him with valuable insight as to how they kept their relationships with their wives in a state of bliss. They, too, had differences in opinions, as well as disagreements, but they always ensured that things were rectified and they were reconciled.
After his brothers’ suggestions, he had decided that he would travel to Mill Grand House to support Emma as best he could as well as spend time with his father-in-law and his daughters.
He truly missed his family and he had realised what a foolish man he had been, spending most of his time away from them. They were the most important people in his life, and he had not treated them accordingly. Although he was aware that nothing would give him back the time he had wasted away from his loved ones, he was willing to spend the rest of his life making it up to them. They certainly deserved it.
He placed his empty cup on the saucer in front of him and glanced at the empty chair across from him, where Emma usually sat. In his mind, he recalled her sitting in the chair, drinking her tea, and sharing with him all the gossip she had heard while promenading with the other ladies. She was not one to add to the gossip, but she did share it with Charles.
In fact, throughout their entire marriage, Emma had been open and free of guile.
His angry musings were interrupted by the manservant entering the parlour with the afternoon post. “Your Grace, would you care to go through the post since the duchess is not present to do so?” he asked.
“Of course. Thank you,” Charles said and motioned to the manservant to proceed.
He placed the delivery, which contained four letters and a newspaper, on the table in front of Charles and hastily went on his way.
Charles reached for the letters and immediately noticed Emma’s beautiful writing on the outside of the envelope addressed to him. He quickly opened it and read the words of his beloved wife. She wrote of Caroline and how things did not seem positive. She was very weak and quickly deteriorating, which was heartbreaking for Charles to read. He sensed the sadness in her words and wished he was there to comfort her. He also read as she explained how wonderfully Catherine had been assisting with the caring of her mother, and how incredibly proud she was of her and that he ought to be as well.
A smile formed on his lips as his chest swelled with pride. Ever since Catherine was born, he’d known she would grow up to be a kind-hearted and caring young woman, just as her mother was. Catherine even resembled Emma, with her infectious laugh, her bright eyes.
His mouth dropped open as he read that Emma wished for Charles to make haste to Mill Grand House. She wished to have him there.
His heart lighter than it had been in a very long time, Charles read the final lines of the page and found it strange that she signed her letter so abruptly. But perhaps she’d had to tend to Caroline.
He moved on to the next page, reading a lovely and sweet letter from Catherine in neat but rather large letters. He smiled as he read. She missed him she wrote, and she hoped to see him soon. Catherine also added that Uncle Joseph had arrived unexpectedly at Mill Grand House, and the servant had told her that it had upset her mother.
Charles’ anger grew, and he folded the letter as he rose to his feet. He rushed to the Henry, who, he met in the hallway and approached him.
“Prepare my horse, immediately. And request the valet pack a saddle bag,” he ordered, his voice echoing through the hallway.
“Yes, Your Grace,” Henry said and hurried away.
As Charles marched towards his study, he was met by his brothers, who had clearly overheard his barked orders to the manservant.
“And where are you going?” Robert asked.
“I don’t have time for interrogations,” Charles said as he attempted to push past his brothers. None of them budged.
“You are not going anywhere, especially in the state you’re in,” James said.
“What’s happened now?” Thomas asked.
“Read for yourself,” Charles said as he shoved Catherine’s letter at him.
His three brothers quickly read the last paragraph of Catherine’s letter and exchanged glances with one another.
“Charles—”
“I cannot believe he has the audacity to think he was welcome at Mill Grand House. I strictly f
orbade him to go anywhere near Emma,” Charles said. “Now, let me pass. I must ensure that he does not bother my wife again.”
“Hold on,” James said, grabbing Charles by the shoulder. “What, precisely, are you planning to do to him?”
“Nothing extreme, unless necessary,” Charles said.
“Charles, think rationally about this. It is too dangerous to ride at this time of day. It will be dark soon, and it’s not safe for you to spend the entire night on horseback.”
“I must get to Mill Grand House.”
James placed his hand on Charles’ shoulder and nodded. “I understand your urgency, but—”
“But nothing, James. Joseph is making a nuisance of himself, and I must be the one who makes it clear that he is no longer a welcome part of the family. I do not wish for him to be anywhere near Emma.”
“Emma will not be unfaithful to you, Charles,” Thomas said.
Charles glared at his youngest brother. Was that what they thought? “I know that! This is not about Emma being unfaithful. It is about ensuring that she is not threatened by Joseph, who clearly cannot understand that his advances are not welcome. I must ensure her safety from the roving eyes and hands of our cousin.”
“At least wait until morning,” Robert said.
“And take the carriage,” James said.
Charles’s jaw clenched, then he nodded. “Very well. I will wait until morning.”
“And perhaps we can advise you practice caution when confronting Joseph.”
“Under no circumstances,” Charles said. “That is not something I am willing to agree to. Not when it concerns Emma.”
Chapter Fourteen
It had been a truly exhausting day. Not only had Caroline taken a turn for the worse and required constant care, Emma had to avoid Joseph at all costs. She was not sure what he was still doing at her parents’ home, as she’d hoped Roland would politely tell him that his unannounced arrival was inappropriate.
Yet he was still there.
The children and her father were still seated in the parlour, as she heard their cheerful banter. Emma had just finished assisting her mother change her nightdress. She left her mother’s chambers mere moments ago and her body ached as she desperately tried to suppress the tears that formed in her eyes.