Full Bloom

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Full Bloom Page 23

by Janet Evanovich


  “So he killed her?” Theenie asked.

  Destiny nodded. “I don’t know why. Maybe he had a thing for Lacey and resented her sleeping with other men. Or maybe he just got rough with her. It’ll probably come to me later, but the good thing, once Lacey saw that picture, she suddenly realized she was dead. And then she remembered her lover being hanged, and she couldn’t wait to go to the light. I hope they’re happy, because I’m so far behind with my mail I’ll never get caught up.”

  “You mean she’s really gone?” Lovelle said, sounding disappointed.

  “Yup. Now I’ll be able to get some sleep.” Destiny sighed. “Damn, I’m good.”

  “I’m going to miss her,” Theenie said. “It was so nice having a spirit in the house. And kind of sexy, too, what with her stealing our underwear.”

  “Cotton underwear is not sexy, Theenie,” Lovelle said. “Face it.”

  Theenie ignored her. “At least we know she’s finally at peace.”

  “I need coffee,” Destiny said, “and lots of it.” She started for the coffeepot, paused, and looked at Annie. “You haven’t said a word. What’s wrong?”

  “She’s contemplating,” Theenie whispered, stepping aside so Destiny could get a look.

  Destiny crossed the room and stared down at the box. “Hmm, let me guess.”

  “She’s afraid to open it,” Lovelle said.

  Destiny frowned. “That’s nonsense. A jar of pickles is hard to open, a stuck window is hard to open, but we’re talking jewelry here. I can rip that lid off with my bare teeth from the other side of the room. Come on, Annie, give it up.”

  Annie knew she would have to look sooner or later. She took a deep breath and lifted the lid. The ring flashed at her.

  “Oh, my Lord!” Theenie said.

  Lovelle sighed. “Boy-oh-boy.”

  “Very nice,” Destiny said. “A full karat, great clarity, no visible flaws, perfect Tiffany setting. I take it Wes gave it to you?”

  Annie nodded. Her heart was pounding so loud she was certain Doc could hear it next door. “I can’t think. I must be in shock.”

  “It’s beautiful,” Lovelle said.

  Theenie began picking her nails. “Yes, but it’s likely to snag on the blankets when she makes the beds.”

  “So, does this mean you’re engaged?” Destiny asked.

  “Um.”

  “Not that I’m surprised,” Destiny said. “I’ve been having visions. Max and Jamie aren’t the only ones getting married in this house. I didn’t want to say anything on account I wanted it to be a surprise. When is the big event? No, don’t tell me; I already know. You’re going to be a May bride. Better start making plans.”

  “I didn’t give him an answer,” Annie said. “He just left the ring here and told me to think about it.”

  “At least try it on,” Lovelle said. “See if it fits.”

  Annie was tempted. Finally, she pulled the ring from the box and slipped it on her left finger. All three women leaned forward to get a closer look.

  “That’s one big rock,” Theenie said.

  Annie nodded. “It’s a little loose.”

  Destiny waved the remark aside. “It can be sized. I think you should wear the ring while you’re considering your answer, though. Do you get to keep it even if you say no?”

  “Why would I do that?” Annie asked.

  “You can always put it in a different setting. I should know these things after five marriages.”

  Theenie looked at Lovelle. “If she marries Wes, we’ll have to move. You know how newlyweds are.”

  Lovelle nodded. “They stay naked a lot.” She looked thoughtful. “That might not be a bad thing, seeing how Wes is so hot.”

  Theenie’s mouth flew open. “Lovelle, I don’t believe what I just heard come out of your mouth!”

  “Hey, old ladies have needs, too. That’s why they make adult toys.”

  “I shouldn’t be hearing this.” Theenie pressed her hands to her ears. “La la la la la. Is she done yet?”

  “Nobody is moving anywhere,” Annie said. “Besides, I can’t get married right now; I just buried my husband.”

  Theenie nodded. “Oh yeah. You’re supposed to be in mourning.”

  Destiny took a sip of her coffee. “See, that’s the thing about diamonds. They go with any color. Especially black.”

  “Do you love him?” Lovelle asked.

  All eyes went to Annie. She suddenly felt a lump in her throat. “Yeah. I just need to think.”

  Lovelle patted her on the back. “Well, now that things have settled down, your mind will be clearer.”

  Annie and Destiny exchanged looks. Neither of them spoke. Annie went back to work. Destiny refilled her coffee cup and sipped in silence. Peaches stretched and yawned in one of the chairs and jumped to the floor. She walked over to her bowl and swatted it hard. Water sloshed over one side as the bowl sailed a good three feet. Nobody noticed. Peaches walked over to the cabinet, sat, and stared at Annie. Finally, Theenie and Lovelle disappeared into the sunroom to watch their favorite morning show.

  Destiny sneezed. “Donna Schaefer didn’t kill him.”

  Annie went on with her work but said nothing.

  Peaches rubbed up against the cabinet, never taking her eyes off Annie.

  “She only thinks she’s responsible for his death because he was alive when she ran out.” Destiny wiped her nose.

  Peaches smacked the cabinet with her paw. Bam, bam, bam.

  Annie looked up and gazed out the window over the sink.

  “Somebody came in afterward and did it. I just have to figure out who.” Sneeze, sneeze. Bam, bam, bam.

  Peaches took several steps back and hurled herself against the cabinet and then slumped to the floor, tongue lolling from her mouth.

  Destiny gaped.

  Annie glanced at the cat, turned, and continued to stare out the window. “She’s faking.”

  It was late in the afternoon when Annie allowed herself to take a break. She poured a glass of iced tea and decided to drink it in the sunroom. As she made her way through the house, she smiled. Theenie had polished the antiques until they shone like a dime, and Destiny had run a damp mop over the wood floors and vacuumed the rugs. The tables in the ballroom wore crisp white tablecloths and were set just so, thanks to Lovelle.

  Annie wasn’t sure how she would have managed without their help; she’d spent the entire day preparing hors d’oeuvres, baking traditional wedding cookies, as well as layers for the French pound cake that she would later frost and decorate. Salad plates, asparagus, stuffed cherry tomatoes, champagne, and wine were chilling in the restaurant-sized refrigerator at the back of the large walk-in pantry. She had wanted to get as much food preparation behind her so she could concentrate on the main course tomorrow. The two women she often hired for large occasions would arrive an hour before the food was to be served so that she would be able to concentrate on last-minute details.

  Everything was under control.

  Yeah, right. Her guts had not stopped shaking since Wes had arrived bearing an engagement ring and the latest news on Charles’s death.

  She missed Wes. Her bed had been a lonely place without him the night before. She longed to have his arms around her because he made her feel safe and cared for, something she had only recently begun to realize that she’d spent most of her life craving. She missed his smile, the laughter in his eyes that told her he refused to take life so seriously. She missed the tender looks and kisses, and the taste and smell of him.

  And she regretted sending him away that morning instead of admitting that somehow, in just two weeks’ time, she had fallen in love with him, too.

  “Annie?”

  She jumped at the sound of Theenie’s voice. “I didn’t hear you,” she said.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah. I’m just trying to think of everything I need to do before tomorrow. Right now I’m on break.”

  Theenie followed her to the sunporch, where th
ey each claimed a chair. “You’re thinking of Wes.”

  “He deceived me.”

  “He was hired to do a job. Once he was convinced of your innocence, he began looking elsewhere.”

  “He’s probably all wrong for me, Theenie.”

  “That’s what I thought at first, but I’ve since changed my mind. He loves you, Annie. He’s sincere. Lovelle agrees.”

  “It just happened so fast.”

  Theenie patted her hand. “You can schedule dinner parties and luncheons and weddings, but you can’t put love into a time frame.” She suddenly frowned. “Where’s your engagement ring?”

  “Huh?” Annie glanced at her hand. “Holy crap, it’s gone!”

  “Okay, everybody calm down,” Destiny said an hour later, after all four of them had searched every nook and cranny for the ring.

  “Calm down?” Annie cried. “What am I going to tell Wes?”

  “It has to be here somewhere,” Lovelle said. “It didn’t just walk off.”

  “Annie, think,” Theenie said. “When was the last time you noticed it?”

  “I know I glanced down at it a number of times after I first put it on,” she said, “but then I got busy. What if it slipped off and fell down the sink?”

  “That has been known to happen,” Destiny said. “Does Erdle know anything about plumbing?”

  Annie nodded. “He makes most of the repairs around here. When he gets around to it,” she added.

  “His car is in the driveway,” Lovelle said. “I’ll go get him.”

  “Give me the box the ring came in,” Destiny said. “I’ll go into the living room where it’s quiet so I can concentrate. Maybe something will come to me.”

  Annie grabbed the jeweler’s box and handed it to her. “Good luck.”

  Erdle staggered in through the back door a few minutes later, followed by Lovelle. “He’s drunk, of course,” she said.

  Annie gave an enormous sigh of disgust. “What else is new?” She looked at him. His clothes were badly wrinkled; his hair stood in tufts. Lovelle had obviously awakened him. He held a plumber’s wrench in one hand. His eyes widened at the trays of food sitting on the counter and kitchen table. “Wow!” He belched. “I’ve never seen so much food.”

  Annie had already cleared the cabinet beneath the kitchen sink. “Did Lovelle tell you my ring may have slid off my finger and gone down the drain?” she asked.

  He scratched his head and blinked several times. “She might have mentioned it.” He gazed back at the food. “What’s all that?”

  “Stuffed grape leaves, Roquefort grapes, wedding cookies, and . . .” She paused, wondering why she was bothering to answer. “I’m in a hurry.”

  “Why would anybody want to eat grape leaves?” he asked.

  “Erdle, would you please—”

  “Can I just have a couple of those cookies? I haven’t eaten in a while.”

  Annie sighed. “Okay, but please hurry.”

  Erdle studied the tray of cookies carefully. “Eenie-meenie-miny-mo—”

  “Oh, for Pete’s sake!” Theenie said. “Just grab one and be done with it.”

  “Annie said I could have two.”

  Annie leaned against the counter and pressed her fingers to her temples. She could feel a headache coming on, but she was determined not to lose her temper.

  Erdle selected a cookie from each tray and popped one of them in his mouth. “Hey, that’s good.”

  The doorbell rang. “That’s probably Jamie,” Annie said. “She’s dropping off her wedding dress.”

  “I’ll get it,” Theenie said, and hurried from the room.

  Erdle made for the sink as he tossed the second cookie in his mouth and chomped down. “Ouch, damn!” he said, his hand flying to his jaw. “You must have put a rock in this one.”

  Annie frowned. “Huh?”

  “I think I just broke a tooth on something hard.” He pointed into his open mouth.

  Annie sighed. Was there no end to all the craziness? She looked in Erdle’s mouth. “Open wider,” she said. He made an unintelligible sound and his mouth widened a smidgeon. Annie caught a flash of something gold. “My ring!” she cried, causing Lovelle to jump. Peaches sprang from the chair and hid behind a plant. “Don’t swallow!”

  Startled, Erdle immediately gulped, and the ring became lodged in his throat. He grabbed his neck with both hands. “Argh!” he said.

  “Did you swallow it?” Annie shrieked, unaware that Theenie, Destiny, Jamie, and Vera were standing in the doorway with Fleas in tow. Peaches hissed and arched her back and then darted from behind the plant, claws bared. Fleas gave a yelp as Peaches raked one paw across his face. A howling Fleas turned and bounded from the kitchen with Peaches on his heels.

  Erdle wheezed as he tried to suck in air.

  “He’s choking!” Lovelle said.

  Annie grabbed him from the back and immediately began performing the Heimlich on him. Lovelle reached for a tumbler of orange juice on the counter and shoved it at him.

  “Don’t drink it!” Annie said.

  Clearly panicked, Erdle ignored her, raising the glass to his lips and chugging. He swallowed and belched loudly.

  “You swallowed it!” Annie yelled.

  “Huh?” He blinked back dumbly.

  She grabbed his shirt and shook him, almost causing him to drop the container of juice. “You swallowed my engagement ring!”

  Theenie and Lovelle gasped.

  “Spit it out!” Annie ordered, still shaking him.

  “Miss Annie, stop!” he said.

  “What’s going on?” Jamie asked, trying to make herself heard over the commotion.

  Theenie turned to her. “Wes gave Annie an engagement ring. She lost it. I think Erdle just swallowed it.”

  “Why would he do something stupid like that?” Vera said.

  “It wasn’t my fault,” Erdle said, trying to catch his breath and pull free from Annie. “It was in the cookie.”

  “You and Wes are engaged?” Jamie asked Annie, clearly shocked.

  Theenie and Lovelle managed to pull Erdle free of Annie’s grasp. “Stop it, this instant!” Theenie told her. “You’re supposed to be practicing anger management.”

  “He swallowed my ring!”

  “It’s not his fault,” Theenie said. “The ring obviously slipped off your finger while you were making the cookies.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me you and Wes had become engaged?” Jamie demanded.

  Fleas tore through the kitchen and raced up the stairs, Peaches right behind him, snarling and hissing.

  “It’s not official,” Annie said. “I’m still thinking about it.” Something shattered upstairs, but it went ignored.

  Erdle bolted toward the back door, but Annie was faster, throwing herself in front of him. “Oh no, you don’t! I’m taking you to the emergency room to have your stomach pumped out.”

  The color drained from Erdle’s face. He looked at Lovelle. “Do you have any vodka to go with the rest of this orange juice?”

  Suddenly an earsplitting whistle pierced the air and everybody stopped in their tracks to see where it had come from. Vera pulled the whistle from her mouth. “Okay, I’ve listened to just about all I’m going to put up with,” she said, “so I want everybody to shut up and do as I say.” She pointed to Erdle. “Sit.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” He pulled out the nearest chair and sat.

  She looked at Jamie. “Go find those crazy animals and do something with them or I’m going to call the animal shelter and have them both picked up and you won’t have a flower dog in your wedding.”

  Jamie nodded and raced up the stairs, calling out for Fleas.

  “Now then,” Vera said. “As I see it, there are only two ways to get to that ring, but having the poor man’s stomach pumped out seems a bit extreme, so we’ll have to take a different approach, if you get my drift.”

  Theenie nodded. “Why didn’t I think of that? I have just the thing.” She hurried up the sta
irs with the speed and agility of a woman half her age.

  “Would somebody tell me what’s goin’ on?” Erdle asked.

  “You’ll find out soon enough,” Vera told him.

  Theenie returned, slightly out of breath, holding a large bottle. “This’ll do the job,” she said.

  Annie stepped closer. “What is it?”

  “Castor oil. My mother used to make us drink it when we got, um, clogged up. Once Erdle drinks this I guarantee you’ll get your ring back, although it’ll take a few hours at least. I want him to drink the whole bottle just to be sure.”

  “The whole bottle?” Annie asked.

  “It won’t hurt him,” Theenie said. “Doctors used to have people drink this stuff all the time before certain tests.”

  “The whole bottle?” Annie repeated.

  “Yep.” Theenie uncapped the bottle.

  “Oh no, you don’t!” Erdle said, jumping from his chair. “You’ve lost your danged mind if you think I’m going to drink that nasty stuff.”

  Annie planted her hands on her hips. “You’re going to drink it if I have to personally pour it down your throat.”

  “No way,” he said, starting for the door.

  “Let me take care of this,” Vera said, pulling her Smith & Wesson .38 from her purse. She trained it on Erdle. “Maybe this will change your mind.”

  Everybody froze, including Erdle. “Lady, are you crazy? Put that thing down before you hurt somebody.”

  “Put that gun away, Vera,” Jamie said from the bottom of the stairs. She held a hissing Peaches several feet in front of her, obviously trying to escape being clawed. “Have you forgotten all you had to go through after you shot the last person?”

  Erdle swallowed and slid his gaze to Jamie. “You’re saying this won’t be her first homicide?” His voice squeaked.

  “I haven’t shot anybody in months,” Vera said. “I only do it as a last resort.”

  Without taking his eyes off her, Erdle reclaimed his seat. Theenie handed him the bottle of castor oil. He took a sip and gagged. “Blah! That’s the worst stuff I’ve ever tasted in my life! I can’t go through with it.”

  Vera pulled the hammer back on the pistol. Erdle quickly took another slug. He shuddered and made a face; then, taking a deep breath, he turned the bottle up and drained it. “Satisfied?” he asked Vera.

 

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