“We have tables?”
“Yeah, he found some at a thrift store. They look vintage but aren’t beat up or anything, and he got all excited because they had tons of them in the warehouse there,” she said. “So, what do you think?”
“It looks great so far. I was kind of hoping we would open sooner rather than later, but I wasn’t quite expecting this kind of success,” I said.
“Well, we had a little help with the painters outside, and the crew that helped us move in the furniture and appliances. The kitchen is just about ready to serve, and the guy who pressurizes the lines for the kegs said we are ready to go for the bar,” she said.
“And what about that?” I asked, pointing to the stage with the lights.
“Well, you know, karaoke is very popular,” she said, grinning and suddenly wiping something invisible off the bar. I saw through it and rolled my eyes.
“Oh, God,” I said.
“It’s not like that. Karaoke is a big thing for younger crowds now. They all grew up with shows where people do it in carpools and stuff, so it’s not like it was before. No sad country songs sung by middle-aged divorcees.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” I said, shaking my head. “Just let me know what nights you decide to do it so I won’t have to be here.”
“Will do,” she said, opening a box of glasses and moving them toward the sink. “Mason said he thinks we could probably open next Friday or Saturday if we keep this pace up.”
I looked around the room, taking in the decorations that were already up and the way everything was coming together. It was surprising how much had been done in such a short time, and even the stuff that I had done didn’t seem all that impressive until I walked in and saw how it fit together with everything else. Friday was an awfully fast turnaround, but something about it didn’t feel right. I turned to lean against the bar and noticed Ava had already washed out one of the glasses and filled it with water for me. It wasn’t liquor, but at least it was something.
“Friday?” I asked.
“I was thinking we might even do the soft opening on that Thursday, and do the grand opening the next night,” she said. I swirled the water in the glass. They were nice glasses, better than the ones we had at the old bar, and I tried to envision the room full of people, shoulder to shoulder, and me downing a whiskey among them, undercover.
“Saturday might be better,” I said, my mind placing people in all areas of the bar. Younger people dancing in one area near the speakers, booths packed with friends and lovers, tables with platters of food. Amanda.
Crap.
“You think?” Ava said, snapping me out of the vision of Amanda, wearing the blue dress she wore so often that made me watch her when she walked away. It was my favorite dress of hers. The way it shaped her ass…
“Yes,” I said, shaking my head, trying to lodge that vision out. Amanda was gone. I had to get her out of my head. “All the other spots down here seem to be avoiding specials on Saturday, which means it’s a hot night and ripe for full-price everything. Plus, it was always our best night at the old spot.” I took a moment, trying to force the words back down my throat that I knew were coming, but it was to no avail. The question was going to get blurted out whether I forced that vision away or not. “Have you heard from Amanda recently?”
Ava stopped unpacking the glasses and looked up at me suspiciously, her eyebrow cocked.
“No, not recently,” she said, but there was something in her voice. Something I didn’t quite believe. “Why, have you heard something?”
She straightened up and turned her back to me, putting glasses away on a shelf. She knew something and was trying to find out what I knew about it. Whatever it was, I didn’t want to pry, and I wasn’t interested in playing a guessing game.
“No, nothing,” I said and gulped the rest of the water. “You said Mason is in the office?”
“Yeah,” she said, grunting with effort as she pushed one glass into another to move it further back on the shelf. “I’m sure he’d love to get your opinion on it.”
“I’ll go head back there now. Thanks, Ava,” I said and stood. She waved over her head as she continued to push the glasses onto the shelf. I noticed that she had a stepstool beside her, which would have made her job much easier, but she seemed to want to be facing away from me.
She knew something and didn’t want to let on. But whatever it was, it wasn’t my business anymore. Amanda wasn’t my business anymore. I had to get that through my head.
32
Amanda
I got off the plane with a knot already in my stomach and took as long as I possibly could to walk out into the airport. All around me, people were running and jumping into each other’s arms, cheerfully waving at each other, and performing all types of the ritual of coming back together. Then there was me. All alone and not meeting anyone.
I probably could have asked Ava to meet me at the airport. She would have done it without hesitation, but I didn’t. Partly because I had so little time to think about getting ready for the flight so I never made the call, and partly because I was thinking about everything else so much that I didn’t have the space in my brain to make a logical decision like that.
And a little sliver in there because I felt like I still needed to be alone. At least when I first got to Astoria. I wasn’t ready to look into anyone’s eyes yet. I wasn’t ready to have to see anybody and start talking about all this. It was different with Emily. She was part of my life in San Francisco. My best friend and the one who had already seen me through everything.
As much as I didn’t want to think about trimming the other Andersons, including Ava, out of my life because of the tangled situation with Tom, I knew it was a possibility. Maybe even a probability, but Emily would be with me in the next phase of my life. No matter what job I had next or what would happen after the baby was born, she would be there for me.
Having to look Ava in the face and talk about what was happening felt too overwhelming still. I needed some time to make my way to that point, which was why I moved as slowly as I could to walk through the airport and get my luggage.
I figured if I took as much time as possible, I wouldn’t really be in Astoria yet. As long as I was still in the airport and hadn’t gotten my luggage or gone out to catch a cab, I was still in that in-between space. I was still transitioning.
Unfortunately, telling myself that didn’t do a lot of good for my anxiety. Nervousness continued to flood me as I walked up to the carousel and waited for my luggage to come around. I didn’t bring a lot. More than I could stuff into my little carry-on, but not so much that I would be prepared for a long stay. This was a quick visit. Lay out the facts, deal with the reaction, and move on. That simple.
Except it wasn’t that simple at all. I had no idea how Tom would react. To any of it. Not to seeing me in Astoria. Not to me just showing up without telling him I was coming. And definitely not to the news I was bringing with me. This news was definitely too big to fit in my carry-on.
Going through all the different scenarios of how Tom could react to me telling him I was carrying his baby was enough to make my stomach turn and sweat break out in cold beads on the back of my neck. It could go so many different ways. And probably so many more than I could even come up with.
I couldn’t bear the thought that he was going to react badly. It had taken me a while to come to terms with it, but Emily was right. I loved him. I knew it deep down inside me. I loved him with everything in me, fully and completely. But I still had no idea how Tom really felt about me.
I did everything I could to push him away. Hearing this news was going to come as a major surprise to him. Coming right on the heels of me showing up here, Tom was in for a day of getting hit upside the head with shock. Probably not what went through his mind when he’d woken up that day.
As soon as I thought that, I wondered if it really would be a surprise for him that I was here. After all, I wasn’t in the meeting that was held
virtually that morning. It would make sense if he questioned where I was. Even if he had, no one at the office knew where I was going. I didn’t even tell Landon I was going back to Astoria.
I didn’t even tell Landon I wasn’t going to be in the meeting that morning.
Suffice it to say, I didn’t do fantastically preparing for this trip. It was all I could do to gather up enough clothes and toiletries to get me through a couple days and get to the airport.
I know Tom would absolutely have noticed that I wasn’t there. If he mentioned it, Ava might have slipped and said something about it. As I grabbed my bags and headed for the exit, I realized the chances of that were pretty small.
Not only was she one of two people in the world other than me who knew I was pregnant and the one who made sure I came to Astoria to tell Tom, so I doubted she would out me, but I hadn’t heard from Tom. One way or the other, I figured I would hear from him if he found out I was there. Either he would be very unhappy to know I was coming and call to dissuade me from showing up, or he would be happy and come to the airport to pick me up.
I didn’t see him anywhere around and I didn’t have any texts or resistant voicemails from him. Most likely, he had no idea I was coming. This was probably for the better. Knowing I was in town would give him a chance to prepare himself, but it might prepare him for the wrong thing.
I walked out of the airport and was relieved to be able to immediately get in a cab. I already had a reservation at the same hotel where Tom and I stayed, so I gave the driver the address. I could only hope the hotel wouldn’t just stick me right back into the same room. That is, if Tom was staying with one of his brothers or his mother and wasn’t still in the room.
It hadn’t occurred to me until I was making that reservation that the only reason we were sharing the room to begin with was that there was only one room available when we got to the hotel. At some point during the months we were there together, a vacancy had to have opened up. we just had no interest in being in separate rooms.
When we were halfway to the hotel, I leaned forward and asked the driver to change the destination. Instead of bringing me to the hotel, I asked him to bring me to Ava’s house. I suddenly didn’t feel like I could be by myself. I needed to talk through this and get myself ready.
We pulled up in front of the house, and I noticed there was no car in the driveway.
“Give me just a second,” I asked the driver. “I’m going to call her and make sure she’s home.”
He nodded without saying anything.
“Hey, Amanda,” Ava said when she answered the phone. “Are you here?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I just left the airport. Actually, I’m sitting in the cab in front of your house. I was going to just go straight to the hotel, but I don’t particularly want to be alone right this second.”
“I’m not there,” Ava said, sounding regretful. “I’m actually up at the bar.”
My heart sank. “At the bar?”
There was no way I was going there to meet her.
“Yeah,” she said. “Just wait there. I’ll leave now and be there in just a few minutes. There’s a spare key in the fake rock in the left flower bed. Go ahead and let yourself in.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely,” she said. “Make yourself at home. Get a snack and a drink. Just relax. I’ll be there soon.”
“Thank you,” I said.
Hanging up, I thanked the driver, gave him a generous tip, and got out. He helped me get my luggage out of the trunk, and I carried it up to the porch. I waited until he had driven away to find the fake rock in the flower bed.
I went inside and dropped my bags in the foyer. I intended on just going into the living room and waiting for her, but a sudden rumble of hunger in my stomach brought me into the kitchen. The Dayglow spray cheese and crackers Ava had given me during our first girl-talk session were suddenly calling to me. I made up a plate of them, poured myself a glass of iced tea, and went into the living room.
Half the plate of crackers was gone, and I was already whimpering my way through the first ten minutes of a women’s network movie when Ava came inside. I stood up to hug her when she came into the room.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” she said.
I nodded. “Me too. And just to be clear, I mean I’m glad to be at your house. The rest of the situation, I’m not so sure about.”
“Why not?” she asked.
“Because I’m supposed to be here telling a man I’m not even dating that I’m carrying his child, and I have no idea how he’s going to react. I don’t know what he’s going to say or expect. It’s just a lot.”
She looked down at the plate of crackers, then over at the screen. “What are you watching?”
“I don’t even know,” I said. “The woman loves a guy who loves someone else, but also her, but they grew up together and have reunited, but one of them is suffering through something… I’m still a little shaky on all the details. And yet, I’m sitting here stuffing myself with cheese and crackers and crying over it.”
She nodded and laughed as we sat down on the couch together. “That’ll happen. And I hate to have to tell you, it’s going to get worse.”
“Fantastic,” I said. “I guess it does mean that right about now would be the best time to tell Tom. While I still have some semblance of control.”
“Well, it’s not quite that bad,” Ava said with another laugh. “For the most part, you do remain the same human being throughout your pregnancy. But I do agree now is the best time to tell Tom.”
“He doesn’t know I’m here?” I asked, wanting to confirm it.
“No,” she said. “He was wondering about you earlier when you didn’t go to the meeting. I think he knows something’s up. I promise I didn’t tell him anything. Not even that you were coming.”
“Thank you,” I said.
“You know, I didn’t tell Mason I was pregnant for a while,” she said.
“You didn’t?” I asked.
She shook her head. “No. It was really hard on me to begin with. And we weren’t really a couple when it happened. After the miscarriage when we were younger, I really have a hard time wrapping my head around the whole thing. I was terrified about losing another baby, and I didn’t know how he was going to feel. It was just a lot. So I kept it to myself for a long time.”
“What happened?” I asked.
“I ended up telling him. Well, the bartender who desperately wanted to be friends with me ended up telling him. It was an accident, but it all came out and we were kind of forced to talk about it. He accepted it later on, and things turned out great,” she said.
“But you and Mason had history. You two were together for a really long time and were still in love with each other. Tom and I don’t have that. He never even defined our relationship,” I said.
“That’s true,” Ava said. “I can’t be absolutely sure things will be the same way. You don’t have the same type of history that Mason and I did, but there is definitely something between you. And it’s not like you just met. You’ve known each other for years and obviously got closer while you were here.”
“I’m just afraid it’s going to go so badly,” I said.
“I’m not,” she said. “I am more than confident things will work out between you two.”
“Thank you,” I said. “But I just don’t even know how to start. Do I call him? Show up at his hotel room? Is he even still staying at the hotel?”
“He is,” she said. “And that’s the perfect place for you to talk to him. Go to the hotel restaurant for dinner. I’ll take care of getting Tom there.”
I let out a long breath. This was really going to happen. There was no turning back now.
33
Tom
“Hello?” I said as I answered the phone. I was surprised to see Ava’s name pop up on the caller ID, mostly because I was standing within earshot of Mason. He was busy moving furniture around, so perhaps he just didn’t he
ar his phone and she needed me to get him, but either way, it was odd, and the surprise in my voice was probably evident.
“Hey, Tom, could you meet me at the hotel restaurant for dinner? I thought you’d be back here by now and was just going to swing by and chat, but there’s some stuff on the menu here I want to try now,” she said. It all came out almost as one breath, and if I was confused before, I was completely lost now.
“You want me to meet you at the hotel restaurant?” I asked.
“Yes,” she said, seeming to realize how weird it sounded. “I just had some ideas for theme nights, you know? And I was going to drop by your room and chat with you about them, but you hadn’t left the bar yet, so I was going to head back that way. Then I passed by the restaurant down here, and they have—” There was a pause for a moment. “—chicken scallopini.”
“Chicken scallopini,” I repeated.
“Yes. Chicken scallopini,” she said. “I’ve always wanted to try that, and they have it here. And I thought we could go over the ideas I had while I tried it.”
I took the phone away from my ear to stare at it for a moment. Ava was a free-spirited girl, but this was a little odd even for her. I glanced over at Mason, who seemed to have noticed I was having a strange call but was trying not to pry.
“I really don’t think you need my opinion on theme nights,” I said. “You have those down pat.”
“There are just a couple ideas I want to run by you,” she said hurriedly. “Also, Mason hates chicken scallopini. He told me so weeks ago when I suggested eating it.”
“He does, does he?” I asked.
“Mmm-hmm,” she said on the other end.
“Alright, if you insist,” I said.
“Great, I’ll get us a table,” she said. “See you here in fifteen, twenty minutes?”
“Probably sooner than that. I was just about to leave anyway,” I said.
“Okay, bye!” she said.
Taboo Boss: An Older Man Younger Woman Romance Page 18