Kim snapped out of her cerebral playback. Whilst dressing, the metallic clink of the letter box shutting prodded her nerves. She looked outside, saw the postman walking down the driveway.
She checked her mail – mainly bills – and aimlessly paced the room. Nothing to do. Nothing to plan for. She had been restless and uptight before and managed to overcome her torment.
This was different, beyond control.
She became aware of a slight quickening of her pulse. An overwhelming tsunami of zest flooded her body. She threw her arms into the air, jumped up and down and bounced onto the sofa. Her body temperature escalated, pushing sweat from every pore in her body.
In the kitchen, she ran cold water into a bowl and plunged her face into it. The force within her was like an itch that couldn’t be scratched away. She put her trainers on, went outside and looked up at a blue sky brushed by delicate cirrus clouds. A local resident stopped in his tracks, surprised to see aqueous vapour rising from her head and shoulders. She sprinted down the road in the direction of the town centre, desperately trying to burn up the raging vigour. Beeping horns and piercing expletives from motorists forced to hit the brakes were ignored. Pedestrians, lucky enough to see her racing along High Street, stepped inside doorways to avoid a collision. She pounded the pavement on Castle Street, her heart in overdrive. She veered to the right, taking the gently sloping path leading to the inviting colours of the rose garden. Her pace slowed. The energy subsided. Her speed decreased to a steady jog. She wiped sweat from her forehead. People nearby were blurred, motionless shapes – except for one person waving his hand. Kim took a breather, waited until her hectic pulse settled. The man walked up to her, his eyes unforgiving, accusing. She turned her back on him. He jerked her around to face him. ‘Not that way,’ he said angrily.
‘Is it you, Mr Sachs?’
‘Pretending you don’t recognise me?’
‘I couldn’t tell if was you or not … You have no right to be here. I’m going home.’
‘Stay where you are. I can tell you are frightened, and so you should be.’ He spoke in a monotone voice, his lips hardly moving. Kim took a few steps backwards. He glided towards her. ‘Your home is not here. You only came to Eaton Cross to avoid death. You have polluted this beautiful town with your vile presence. Flirty little cow. Temptress with the dragon tattoo. You tried to erase it. You must think I’m stupid. We all know you have corrupt, uncontrollable urges. You can’t decide whether to choose a man or a woman, can you?’
Kim looked up at the sudden gathering of ominous clouds casting forbidding shadows over the castle and its surrounding attractions.
‘I’d have a woman any day if all men were the same as you,’ she said. ‘I want my freedom back, don’t you see? You’re a coward, you and your pathetic wife. And you’ve been stalking me.’
‘Yes, yes, I’m a coward. I always have been. You’re a clever girl in some ways, but not clever enough to deceive us. The whole town has had enough of you. We are all aware of what you have done and who you are.’
His face grew pallid. His eyeballs sank deeper into his head. Kim touched his chin and retracted her hand to avoid his snapping teeth. ‘Satisfied?’ he said. ‘I am real and not a ghost or the devil. Try telling your doctor ghosts exist. Ask her to remove the tattoo you are fond of. You should have had it removed … Where will you run to? Wherever it is, no matter how far away, the demons will seek you … Hide and seek … A wonderful game. Did you play hide and seek when you were a kid? Did you ever hide in a cottage in some lonely, forgotten place? I won’t bother you with the details,’ he laughed mockingly and said, ‘You often go to the market, don’t you? Well, let me tell you – the poster hangs there for all to see.’
A long silence came between them. The surrounding shadows shrank.
He pulled her towards him. ‘Kerry Halpin hasn’t been found. The police are looking for you. They’re eager to question you. They’ve been to the hotel and café where you work. They’re not stupid. Look behind you wherever you go. The demon will find you.’
Kim released her grip on the bench she was sitting on. She squinted at the blazing sun and listened to the rising voices of children playing, adults chatting. She looked to the ground, covered her face. A worried sickness flowed into her veins and a sense of distressing lethargy washed over her from the insidious poison of muscular fatigue.
***
‘There’s nobody in the bathroom,’ Gill said. ‘You’re soaking wet. Take a shower or you’ll feel sticky and uncomfortable.’
Kim gave a doubtful shake of her head. ‘I had a terrible experience in the bathroom. This place is haunted and there’s an evil presence waiting for a chance to scare me. I can’t do it.’
Gill hugged her. ‘This place is not haunted. You’re distressed and exhausted with everything that’s happened to you. There’s no such things as ghosts, only the longing there should be, to ease our pain and fears.’
‘You haven’t seen one,’ She struck her knee out of frustration. ‘I’ve told you what I’ve seen. Why can’t you accept it as the truth?’
‘I’m here to help you, Kim … I’ll go to the bathroom with you. There’s nothing to be afraid of.’
‘No. I don’t want to stay here any longer and be on my own. It’s too risky.’
Gill held her hand, coaxed her to go upstairs. ‘See. What can possibly happen in here? I’ll wait downstairs for you. Shout if you need me.’
Kim nodded and made a thankful smile. She was in and out of the shower in less than three minutes. Ordeal over. No ghost. No devil. She dried herself, put on fresh clothes and joined her friend.
‘How do you feel?’ Gill asked.
‘I’m tired. Nervous. I’m never going to be happy again.’
Gill rubbed her back to comfort her. Kim stared ahead, lost in thought. A few minutes went by and she said, ‘Aren’t you supposed to be working at the café today?’
‘Paula’s away on a short break. Karen’s in charge for the time being. I said I had an important appointment and she let me go early.’
‘Karen?’
‘Forgotten already? Karen spotted Smarty on her way to her nan’s. I was with her … By the way, where is Smarty?’
‘He’s with a couple over the road,’ she replied, a note of sadness in her voice. ‘I haven’t been able to cope with him. They’re keeping him for a week or two and said they don’t mind how many times I go to see him.’
‘Don’t leave him there for too long. He might not want to come back.’
‘I doubt it.’
She slapped her hands hard on the table and glowered at Gill.
‘What’s the matter, Kim?’
‘I’ve just got back from a run and met Andy Sachs, my boss. His skin was pale and stiff as cardboard. He said the police are looking for me and I’m going to be tormented by a demon.’
‘Where did you see him?’
‘He was in the rose garden near the castle. You don’t care what happens to me. I can’t tell what’s real any more. I don’t know who I can trust. Can I trust you? You could be a spy, watching and following me wherever I go. Stuart and Lauren are against me, and Jay Yeldon. You’re all in this together, aren’t you? Plotting and scheming. I might as well be …’ She blinked out a stream of tears.
‘Kim, listen to me, please. We’ve discussed these unsettling events before. I’m sure it can all be explained. You’ve suffered recently. One thing after another. Your nerves are shattered. You need rest and someone to talk to. Come and stay with me for a while. I’ll look after you, make sure you’re safe.’
Kim held onto her wrists, squeezed hard. ‘You are so understanding. I would like to come with you, but if you deceive me …’
Gill cupped her face. ‘Don’t fret, Kim. I won’t let anyone hurt you … I think some fresh air would do you good. Will you take a slow walk with me or should I call a taxi?’
‘I’ll walk with you if you link arms with me.’
‘No problem. A nic
e, slow walk it is then.’
They ambled along the sun-soaked streets and into the town centre. Gill paused twice to look at window displays. Kim’s head was downcast. She gently pulled Gill’s arm, eager to reach the safety of her flat.
***
Carville Road consisted of a line of mundane terraced houses facing a granite wall supporting black railings. Rising from behind the wall was the impressive Church of St Mary Magdalene.
‘This is where I live, the last house along the row.’ Gill inserted the key and struggled to turn the lock. ‘I wish the landlord would get this sorted … There we go. Done it.’
Gill stepped into the hallway. Kim hesitated. ‘Someone’s watching me. Come here, have a look.’ She pointed at a detached house separated from the church grounds by a sloping driveway.
‘Where are you looking, Kim?’
‘The upstairs bay window, the one on the right.’
Gill looked up. ‘I can’t see anyone.’
‘A woman wearing dark clothes was standing there.’
‘Perhaps someone’s being nosy. It doesn’t mean you’re being watched. You’ve only just arrived here.’
‘What is that place? It looks different than a normal house.’
‘I’m not sure. I’ve seen a vicar going in and coming out of there. It could be part of the church.’
‘A vicarage?’
‘Could be. Come inside. I’ll pour us a cool drink. Fancy a bite to eat?’
‘I wouldn’t mind.’
‘No problem. Make yourself comfy.’
The room reminded her of Emma’s flat. Manky furniture, shabby carpets, damp patches and loose wallpaper. She sat in a soft chair that wrapped itself around her.
‘Ice cold milk,’ Gill said, handing her the glass. ‘I’ve got some boiled ham in the fridge. You okay with a ham salad?’
‘Thanks, Gill. No tomatoes for me.’
‘Me neither. Shan’t be long. Try to relax.’
Kim forced a smile, stared at the ceiling and made herself comfortable. Sleep slipped over her eyes.
‘Kim … wake up. Your salad is ready.’
‘Who are you?’
‘Your friend, Gill. You fell asleep.’ She helped her out of the chair, led her to the kitchen and sat her at the table. ‘Enjoy your salad. There’s more if you want some.’
‘I feel as if I’ve been asleep for hours. Have you ever woken up feeling confused and disorientated?’
‘Can’t say I have.’
‘That’s what it was like when you woke me, only you were a different person. I’ve experienced it before, when you wake up in a room and have no sense of what time it is or what you are supposed to be doing.’
‘An early night is what you need.’
‘I wouldn’t sleep at home, couldn’t do it.’
‘You can stay here tonight. I’m afraid you’ll have to sleep on the sofa.’
‘I’ve slept on worst things, I can tell you.’
Kim ate her meal and went outside to check for texts or missed calls. One message came up from Emma saying she was bored and wanted company. She didn’t expect to find a message from Jay, now consigned to the past along with his pathetic daughter with the pierced nose and crazy hairstyle. In her own way, Kim had attempted to mess up his life by giving him a cryptic clue, something to give him cause for concern. And why not? He had turned against her. Everybody had. Her problems were too complicated for him to handle.
‘They want to drive me away from here,’ she mumbled. ‘I won’t allow it.’
She gazed at the vicarage with its curious crenellated roof, ivy-covered walls and wooden door set inside a stone arch. A sudden wave of hope washed over her. She lingered for another ten minutes, watched the building fade in the dying light.
Gill joined her, lit a cigarette and gave it to her.
‘What are you looking at, Kim?’
‘That house over there. I’m going to find someone who can help me.’
‘A vicar, do you mean?’
‘A vicar or a priest.’
‘I wouldn’t have thought you were religious.’
‘I’m not, but I’ve seen the devil … so God must exist.’
Chapter Nineteen
The weekend had arrived and Potters Wheel was beginning to fill up. Jay was oblivious to the laughter and chatter. His friend and work colleague, Adrian, tapped his arm for the second time. ‘Hello there … Are you with me, Jay, or somewhere else?’
‘Forgive me.’
‘I was saying how quiet it is in here. Look at it now. Where do they all come from?’
Jay looked at his watch. ‘You won’t be able to move in here in an hour’s time. Most of the clientele has shifted from the middle-aged to teenagers. The new landlord has brought his following with him. They make a pint last all night. The real drinkers – the regulars – have gone elsewhere.’
‘We shall honour the real drinkers. Fancy another?’
‘Sure do. Same again, please.’
Jay fell into pensive mode, couldn’t relax and enjoy the evening. His friend sensed his reticence but didn’t want to give him the impression he was prying. He walked back to the table without spilling a drop of the chilled beer. ‘There you go. Enjoy … Did you see the history documentary on TV last night?’
‘I didn’t watch anything.’
‘You would have found it interesting. They’re running a series of famous battles. Last night was the Anglo-Zulu war. Artefacts are still being looted from the battle sites. Dealers are paying people to go there and search them. They’ve unearthed shell casings on the perimeter of the site at Isandlwana. Pipes were dug up at Rorke’s Drift. Imagine it, Jay, owning a pipe smoked by a member of the 24th Regiment of Foot.’
Jay fiddled with his phone.
‘I feel like I’m talking to myself,’ Adrian said.
‘Yes, I heard you. Pipes dug up at Rorke’s Drift … Sorry, Adrian. I haven’t been good company tonight. I should have stayed at home. I didn’t want to let you down again.’
‘Are you unwell? I won’t mind if you want to go home.’
‘Physically, I feel fine. My daughter hasn’t called me. I was hoping to hear from her.’
‘I didn’t know you had a daughter.’
‘I never talk about her. I’m not happy with the path she’s taken in life.’
‘She hasn’t texted you?’
‘No. I’ve tried ringing her. She doesn’t answer.’
‘Try again. It’s Friday. She could be out with friends. You might catch her in a good mood.’
Jay nodded, entered the number and rushed outside to escape the noise. To his relief, his call was answered.
‘Kayla, it’s your dad.’
‘What are you ringing for?’
Background chatter and music hindered the conversation.
‘Can you hear me?’ Jay said. ‘I need to talk to you. Can you come and see me tomorrow?’
‘Get off me, you prick,’ she blurted. ‘Ignore them all, dad. Stupid arseholes. What do you want to talk about?’
The sound of breaking glass was followed by mocking laughter.
‘Where are you, Kayla? Sounds like a party.’
‘Dunno where I am, or where I’m going.’
‘You’re being purposely awkward. Look, I want you to tell me what goes on in Albion Street, and have you heard of someone called, Pritchard?’
‘Can’t help you. Anyway, it’s no use talking to me. We’re all pissed … Give me my phone back you idiot,’ she shouted. ‘I’m talking to my dad.’
‘Hello, dad. Your daughter’s enjoying herself. We’re all swinging from the rafters. Except me. I’m floating, man. We play the best in music here. The girls are willing and the booze is overpowering. We have all the kit for a wild trip.’
‘Give the phone back to Kayla.’
‘No way, mister. I’m gonna to eat it, so fuck off.’
The call ended. Jay clenched his teeth, squeezed his phone out of anger.
***
‘Did you sleep all right?’ Gill asked.
Kim stood by the window and opened the blinds. ‘I couldn’t sleep properly. I’ve got a stiff neck. It hurts if I move it. I should have slept on the floor … There’s a man on the other side of the road. What does he want?’
Gill came to her side. ‘He’s walking along, minding his own business.’
‘Nothing to do with me?’
‘Kim, your imagination is running away with itself. Look at me.’
‘What’s up?’
‘Have you been crying? Your eyes are red.’
Kim rushed across the room, looked at herself in the cracked mirror on the wall and spun around in a panic. ‘I need to go back home for some clothes and toiletries. I’ll come straight back here. It’s safer here, isn’t it?’
‘You’ll be safe here, only … Look, I have to go to work, earn some money to keep the flat going.’ Gill spoke with a worried voice. Her mouth furled. She fell into thought for a moment and said, ‘Kim, if the landlord finds out you’re staying here he’ll tell me to leave. He often calls here, and not always at the same time. I can’t take the risk. You’re welcome to come later today when I’m back from the café.’
‘You don’t want to take care of me. I knew this would happen. Everyone is against me. I’ll go and won’t come back.’
‘Don’t be silly. We can spend time together. I’ll make the meals and –’
‘I’m going. What was the point of staying here for one night?’
‘I’m your friend and I’ll help you all I can. I’ll come round and keep you company.’
‘No. I don’t trust you.’
All Your Fears Page 13