All Your Fears

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All Your Fears Page 16

by Peter Hodgson


  ‘I couldn’t make out who was doing the digging. It must have been her. Why would she do such a thing and in the dark?’

  ‘H’m. I suppose you have a point. What do you want me to do?’

  ‘We have a spade.’ She squeezed his knee. ‘Come on, let’s do it.’

  ‘Suppose she comes back and sees us?’

  ‘I don’t think she will.’

  He went to the shed, picked up the spade. The disturbed soil was easy to see. Stuart plunged the tool into the ground, pressed the blade with his foot. Lauren watched him with a burning curiosity. He dug out a layer, piled it aside. ‘Something’s been buried.’

  ‘Could be treasure,’ she said with a hint of sarcasm. ‘Keep digging.’

  He ploughed the area for a minute and sank to his knees. He picked up an object, wiped the soil off it.

  ‘What is it?’ Lauren said, leaning forward.

  ‘Not sure. It could be the remnants of a book of some sort.’ He removed more soil. A sense of bewilderment overcame his curiosity. Hundreds of paper fragments and bits of cardboard were visible. ‘This doesn’t make sense.’

  ‘Why did she not put it all in a bin?’ Lauren crouched down and examined fragments of discarded paper. ‘There’s writing on every piece … I think they’ve been torn from a diary.’

  He lifted more chunks of soil. ‘Look at this lot. I reckon there’s more than one diary here.’

  ‘Take out what you can. There might be one that’s not been damaged.’

  She went back inside and washed her hands. Stuart retrieved most of the mangled journals, left them in a pile next to the hollow. Ten minutes later, he walked into the living room, his head down, mouth open.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ Lauren asked.

  ‘I’ve put it all back except for one page that’s intact and readable … I found something else.’

  Her eyebrows sank. ‘What?’

  ‘Smarty was buried first, and the torn diaries thrown over his body. His mouth is taped up. I think he was stabbed to death.’

  ***

  Kim dried herself and slipped into a soft, white bathrobe. She looked in the mirror, admired her shiny, brushed hair. The small, red patch on her face gave her a mild shock. She sighed, rubbed her finger over it and cursed. Erica stood in the doorway, hoping to find her naked. Kim spun around. Their gazes connected and held for several seconds.

  ‘He won’t appear,’ Kim said. ‘I can say his name five times and nothing will happen.’

  ‘Who do you mean?’

  ‘You know what I mean, Erica. I’ve discussed it with you so don’t try it on.’

  ‘You need to explain yourself fully if I’m to ease your suffering.’

  ‘I won’t explain anything,’ she snapped.

  ‘You don’t have to, Kim. I shan’t press. Let’s go to my bedroom.’

  Kim crept barefooted along the landing. ‘Don’t disturb the vicar. If he sees me, I’m done for. He’ll turn me in.’

  ‘He’s gone to a farewell celebration, a sort of party. He’s travelling back tomorrow morning.’

  ‘Vicars don’t do parties. You’re lying to me.’

  ‘Nonsense … Step inside and try to relax. This is my lounge-bedroom combo. I spend some of my spare time here. It serves me well, especially when the vicar entertains his boring friends and old dears who indulge in endless cups of tea and large slabs of carrot cake.’

  Erica stood proudly. Kim inspected the layout of her room. A double bed occupied much of the floor space. The remainder was taken up by a pine coffee table, a dresser table and a two-seater fabric settee. Five framed photographs on a smooth, pale blue wall were overshadowed by a large painting of two naked girls lying on a sandy beach. Kim was drawn to a photo of a young girl wearing a corduroy beret and grey duffel coat. ‘Who is this?’

  ‘Me. I was fourteen years old and suppressed by the rigours of a strict upbringing. Don’t I look solemn?’ Kim nodded. Erica opened a wall-mounted drinks cabinet. ‘Sit down and we’ll have a drink. Tia Maria with vodka and coke goes down a treat in the evenings. Try one.’

  ‘Should I?’

  Erica smiled, poured generously, sat beside her and said, ‘I bet you never had the pleasure of an alcoholic drink when you were under lock and key.’

  ‘You were there too? I don’t remember seeing you. How do you know –’

  ‘Don’t ask. It’s of no importance.’

  ‘Well, let me tell you, we didn’t go for very long without a drink. It was smuggled in and there was plenty of it. Crazy Hannah and me had loads to drink one night, and she had her way with me. Her nails were sharp as glass. I asked her to file them down. She never did.’

  ‘How unpleasant it must have been for you. Here, drink this and relax.’

  Kim swallowed a mouthful and licked the glass. ‘I’ve never had Tia Maria and vodka. It tastes nice.’

  ‘There’s plenty of it. I’ve hidden bottles in various places. The vicar doesn’t agree with me drinking too much. If I’m drunk and have a bottle on the go, he confiscates it. I should do the same when he’s pissed on brandy. He doesn’t make a habit of it, though, thank goodness.’

  ‘Does he know much about me?’

  ‘Only what you’ve told him.’

  ‘You know a lot more, don’t you?’

  ‘Possibly. I listen to you talk in your sleep.’

  Erica lit a cigarette, gave it to Kim. She inhaled deeply, savoured the tickle of smoke swirling inside her chest.

  ‘I’m off to the bathroom, Kim. Make yourself comfy.’

  Kim took long drags of her smoke and bathed in Erica’s warm hospitality. She felt safe … and excited. But was it a trap? Was the vicar attending a retirement celebration, or was he rounding-up her acquaintances and supposed friends for a final showdown?

  She picked up her glass, took a swig. It didn’t take long for the alcohol to soften her mind. If Erica had deceived her, she wasn’t bothered. The notion that she wanted to be more than a friend excited her. She closed her eyes, surrendered herself to a sexual stirring and repressed desire.

  ‘Did you fall asleep?’

  Erica was beside her, wearing a similar gown.

  ‘No. I was daydreaming.’

  ‘Lost in a fantasy, I hope.’

  They sat in silence and drank. Kim interpreted the delicate aroma of Erica’s body spray as a subtle invitation. Her eager eyes drifted from her purple toenails and muscled legs, finally settling on a deep cleavage that ran beneath her bathrobe. She gave a sharp breath. Her heart fluttered. ‘What did you do before you came to the vicarage?’ she asked, unsure if she had misjudged the situation.

  ‘I had a variety of jobs. I was a school lab technician, office clerk. I worked in a women’s clothing store for a few months. The work was dreary. Too much standing around and counting the minutes. One day I saw an advertisement asking for a general assistant and housekeeper for this place. I think the vicar was unsure of me at first. I told him I’d spent my youth living in a Catholic convent. He became less officious and warmed to me.’

  ‘What was it like living in a convent?’

  ‘Strict. We certainly had our fun. We were far from being angels … Sister Bernadette was in charge of us. She walked the corridors at night making sure we obeyed the rules – so we thought.’

  ‘Did she spy on you?’

  ‘She did. Rumour had it she wore nothing under her habit during the nightly rounds. She usually wore a belt with a keychain and rosary beads. Sometimes we could hear her keys jangling. It was a signal to one of the girls who would sneak off quietly and come back an hour later. Bernie could tell who the vulnerable ones were. She would select the ones she fancied the most and take them on car trips at the weekend. It didn’t take long for her to discover which ones she could manipulate.

  ‘I was friendly with one them and asked what she and Bernie got up to. She wouldn’t tell me. One day, I made a point of taking a shower when I should have been in a lesson. I knew Bernie would come looking f
or me and she did. I spotted her in the corner of my eye. She watched me soaping and rinsing myself. I lingered in the shower. She knew I was putting a show on. Her chest heaved with excitement. She drooled at the sight of my opulent body … Am I boring you, Kim?’

  ‘Quite the opposite. Go on, tell me more.’

  ‘I knew you’d be interested … She asked me why I wasn’t with the other girls and I said I was waiting for her. She shook her head and covered her face, pretending to be in shock, then muttered something in Latin. I knew she couldn’t resist the temptation. There she stood, the all-powerful Sister Bernadette, mentally devouring my breasts. She must have been shaking at the knees. I asked her what she was going to do with me in the way of punishment. She said I had to report to her office the very same evening. I purposely turned up late to rile her. She explained the rules of the convent, berated me for my misconduct and ordered me to bend over a desk to receive my punishment – the traditional six of the best.’

  ‘The cane, you mean?’

  ‘Yes. She often used it to impose discipline.’

  ‘I thought it had been abolished in schools?’

  ‘Not until the late nineties, maybe earlier. It wouldn’t have made any difference to Bernie if it had been abolished … So, skirt raised I took my position and said, “Cane away, Sister Bernie.” She was annoyed at my insolence – and sexually aroused. I knew what she wanted. She delivered three strokes and I said she wasn’t hurting me at all. Without any prompting, I took my knickers off, pulled my skirt high and leaned over the desk again. When the caning was over she told me to keep my position and not turn round. I could hear the rustling of clothes. She caressed my buttocks and pulled me round to face her. She was naked. I was surprised how attractive she looked. Her long her hair was black and shiny. She asked me to apologise for my bad behaviour, and the only way she could forgive me was by pleasing her. I had every intention of doing what she asked.’

  Erica’s hand rested on Kim’s thigh. Her pulse accelerated at the gentle touch.

  ‘What did she ask you to do?’

  ‘Irresistible tale, isn’t it? You are the first person to hear it … Bernie opened a chest and took out a smooth, wooden phallus. I told her to put it away. All I wanted to do was kiss her all over and use my tongue on her. She was very obliging. I let her do the same to me. I went to bed thinking I had the upper hand. The next day she was back to her normal routine and treated me as if nothing had happened between us. I don’t understand why, but she never asked me to her office again. I have to say, there was no shame in what we did. We were two women with the same inclination. I should say, a mature woman and a young girl. I often imagine being there again in her office, indulging in forbidden sexual pleasure. Fond memories, Kim. I missed her when she left the convent.’

  Erica fell into a reverie. Kim’s head flopped onto her chest. Her hand slid beneath the robe, fondled her warm breasts. Erica’s breath burst out with the thrill of expectation.

  ‘You won’t keep me a prisoner, will you?’ Kim said. ‘Because this is what I’m here for. You can’t lie to me, Erica. You’re all in it together – you, the vicar … everyone.’

  ‘Shhh. Don’t make it difficult for yourself. Not here. Not now.’

  Erica squeezed Kim’s breast and tweaked the nipple to its full length. Kim kissed her lips – a kiss so sweet and tender, like petals falling apart. She stood, flicked the robe off her shoulders and let it fall onto the floor. Erica admired her shape. Her lust deepened. Hot. Irrepressible. She slipped her robe off, pulled her shoulders back, proud of her melon-sized assets. Kim buried her face in the soft flesh, slithered her tongue over the smooth, white expanse and bumpy areola. Erica gave a sharp breath of pleasure, held her hand and led her to the double bed. She took the submissive position, legs open, arms behind head. Kim admired her awesome curves and flawless body. Her fingers skimmed across toned thighs. Erica raised her knees. Kim buried her face in the hot, moist mound and tongued her enlarged, firm clitoris. Erica shuddered with ecstasy, panted and moaned until Kim brought her to completion. They held each other’s gaze for a moment, then swapped positions. Kim shivered at her gentle touch, reached up and gently pulled her head towards her chest. Erica sucked and nibbled her nipples. Kim could feel the warmth deepening between her legs. Erica unleashed her tongue and probed beneath the clitoral hood.

  Kim sighed with a thankful satisfaction when their forbidden lust had been satiated.

  Erica flopped onto the bed. They stared at the ceiling, their bodies spent and exhausted.

  ‘I don’t deserve to be shown such deep emotion,’ Kim said, her voice cracking.

  Erica tensed her abdominal muscles, sat upright. ‘What was that noise on the landing?’

  The door opened slowly. A bolt of panic teared through her brain. Her face twisted with shock. Edward stepped into the room, his features set in frightful disgust.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Jay slammed the car door shut, tossed the remains of a cigar onto the road. Stuart went outside in the cool night air and welcomed him into the house.

  ‘I’m glad you could make it,’ he said.

  ‘I was shocked when I read your message. Smarty’s dead body covered with torn diaries. She loved that dog. He was a big part of her life. I can’t believe she’s killed him.’

  ‘If she didn’t do it, why bury him in the garden? It must have been her. At first, I thought he might have been hit by a car. I took a closer look and found what I think are stab wounds. Lauren and I considered the matter and decided not to involve the police. The thing is, she could be a danger to the public or herself.’

  ‘I’m beginning to believe the bad experiences are connected more with her than the reality presented by the external world.’

  ‘Yeah. I invited you here so we can try to come up with a reason for what’s been going on. We have to solve this mystery.’

  ‘I think we are a long way off a solution.’

  ‘Let’s discuss what we already know. When did you first meet her?’

  ‘Back in March.’

  ‘Can I ask a personal question?’

  ‘Go ahead.’

  ‘Do you love her?’

  ‘Love. A strong emotion. Let’s say, I have feelings for her. I’ve tried to help her and to my dismay she became awkward. I would even say, paranoid.’

  ‘Paranoid. Interesting choice of words. There’s no doubt she has loose morals. I mean, to go outside and take your clothes off isn’t normal behaviour. I gave her a lift to work a couple of weeks back. She kissed me and said she wanted a proper kiss one day.’

  ‘Oh, really? You never said.’

  Lauren walked into the room, her enquiring eyes set firmly on Stuart. ‘There was nothing in it,’ he said. ‘It didn’t mean anything. What’s a peck on the cheek?’

  ‘I believe you. I’d be a fool to suspect an assignation but you should have told me. Suppose one of my work colleagues saw you?’

  ‘I was putting Jay in the picture. After all, why should he waste his time with a tarty woman who is prone to violence?’

  ‘She never struck me as having an inclination for violence,’ Jay said. ‘And when I took her home following the incident on Parson Lane she seemed quite keen for me to leave.’

  ‘What happened on Parson Lane?’ Lauren asked.

  Jay described the incident. ‘There were no other witnesses,’ he went on. ‘I took her and Smarty back to their home, in my car. I checked her injuries, had a brief chat with her and left them in peace. I thought she’d been the victim of a bunch of idiots driving around and causing mayhem. In view of what has happened since, I believe there’s a sinister reason behind it all.’

  A few minutes later, Lauren lowered a tray onto a small round table. Two lattes and a tea set the scene for further discussion. Jay pulled his chair closer to the table, creating an ambience akin to ghost stories around a midnight campfire.

  Stuart took a piece of paper out of his shirt pocket. ‘This is the only un
damaged page from the mangled diaries thrown over the dog’s body.’

  Jay read the contents:

  Diary entries – June, 2011

  7 Tuesday. Had blazing row with dad. He said I looked anorexic. Cursed me for binge drinking. All I want is to be taken away from this stinking hovel I live in. Where is the love I crave? True love lives forever. I want someone to care for me. Someone I can share real affection with.

  11 Saturday. Sis treated dad again to fags and beer. Beer makes his moods even worse. He can’t get enough of it. Doesn’t help his foul temper. Mum copies his bad habits. She can’t see what’s happening to herself. Sis doesn’t care about the trouble she causes.

  16 Thursday. Mum had money stolen again. I was blamed for taking it. Not HER. Cow. My anger is bursting inside me. I am so frustrated. Why should dad stick up for her all the time? Mum is blind to it all. She can’t stand up to them any more. Will I ever be free from this turmoil?

  19 Sunday. Showers again. Kept ringing Jamie until he answered. Says he doesn’t want to see me. Accused me of giving Matt a blow job in Prancers car park. I am so annoyed. Will Jamie and Matt ever be friends again??? Sis has been spreading false rumours. I only kissed Matt at the party. Only a kiss. It wasn’t as if I had my hand on his cock.

  23 Thursday. Saw Ethan again in the City Vaults. Stared at me all night as if I was a model. He likes them young. Said I look younger than my years. I was flattered. He loves girls with small tits. It’s me alright. Don’t even need a fucking bra. Told me he will be at the club again next Friday. Yummy. I will deffo give him a blow job if the going is good. Go for it bitch.

  Jay frowned, looked at Stuart and Lauren who were interested in his reaction.

  ‘Doesn’t tell us much,’ Stuart said. ‘Hostility between Kim and the father. She obviously had a poisonous relationship with her sister. She was promiscuous back then … Still is.’

  Jay tightened his lips in displeasure, then said, ‘People can change.’

 

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