Why would she believe me?
She thought I’d left her behind, when I hadn’t been there for her. I’d been so trapped in my guilt and grief, that I hadn’t been able to see that my ignoring her, was hurting her. I thought I was doing what was right for her, for us both, but I couldn’t tell her that. It hurt too much to say that I’d made so many mistakes and I’d been open enough, with her.
I clenched my hands into fists and unclenched them. Focusing on the movement, as I did to try and relieve some of the tension that was building in my shoulders and in my head. It wasn’t her fault, she’d felt like that, but it tore me apart knowing, that she felt that way. The past year, for me, had been a never ended clusterfuck and it’d all started before I’d even met her.
I’d lost my best friend, my sister, been shot, had an intruder in my house, had my girlfriend kidnapped. My label set on fire and another of my best friends shot at and then Amber left me. My reactions had been warranted, but I wished I could have been there for her too, when she was going through everything. It was too late to change shit now. I couldn’t fix the past; I could only change the future and that was what I had to focus on.
My eyes closed and I breathed in and out through my nose for a beat, and then opened them as I turned. Her body was a few feet from where I stood and my eyes scanned her, feeling the stirrings of desire as I did. When I reached her face, I was surprised to see her frowning at her cell.
I took a small step closer and saw that she was staring at her bank balance and that there was only a little cash in her account. I wanted to offer to help out, but I knew she was too proud to take money from me. Too proud to ask me to help her raise our son and part of me loved her more for it. There had to be a way I could give her money, maybe if I said it was for Zach, she’d take it. I stood for a moment pondering what to say, or how to get through to her that I was all in. I wanted her and Zach in my life, but I didn’t know how to get her to let me in enough to prove it.
Every time I tried to tell her how much I loved her, or missed her, she clammed up on me and changed the subject. I didn’t know what else to do. I took a deep breath and moved towards her, wrapping my arms around her waist, and tugging her back, so her head rested against my chest. My dick began to stir because Amber’s scent invaded my nose. Before I could get too turned on, she shrugged out of my hold and moved towards the cabinets in front of us.
“I ordered our food,” she told me in a quiet voice, that trembled a little and I wondered what was going on inside her head.
“Okay, how much was it? I’ll need to get some cash for you?” I told her, and she turned to me with color rising in her cheeks and her mismatched plates in her hand.
“I don’t need your money,” she hissed breathlessly at me.
I took a step back because I’d only been talking about paying for our food. Her narrowed eyes, pursed lips, and flushed cheeks made me furious because I didn’t think she was after my money. If she had been, I’d have given it to her because she had our baby, and she’d raised him for three months without me.
“Really?” I asked her sardonically as I raised my brow to look at her. “Then tell me, how is it that you have one hundred and forty dollars in your checking account?”
She gasped and took a step back from me, glaring at me as she did.
“How do you…” she asked and then broke off, turned around and slammed the plates onto the counter.
“I noticed, while you were staring at the balance.”
She spun back to face me and folded her arms across her chest, making her tits look awesome. My mouth watered at the sight of them pushing up and almost spilling out of her tank. When I met her eyes, my desire slipped away because her they were dark and cold, I knew that she was going to push me out again.
“So, you think you have a right to spy on me?” She snarled at me, as she stepped towards me.
“What? No. I couldn’t help seeing it.” I muttered in shock as she advanced on me furiously.
“You think you can just come in to my house and start throwing money about and that’ll make up for everything you did. Like it will make it all okay, that you abandoned me after I was kidnapped and left me to go through a miscarriage all alone.”
Her chest rose and fell with her words, my heart shattered because I had done that. I had left her alone and I’d never stop feeling guilty about it.
“Amber, I…” I began, but she held her hands up and cut me off.
“This was a mistake. I need you to leave, Mason. I can’t do this. I can’t be around you. It’s too hard and I can’t forgive you for everything that happened. I want to, but I can’t.”
Her next words destroyed any hope I had, that we could work through everything, because they were filled with hatred and hurt.
“I don’t want you in my life, or in Zach’s. I want nothing from you and I wish I’d never fucking met you. I wish I could go back and never go for that fucking interview. Can you just leave now, please?”
I shook my head and tried to step forwards, but she froze and I stopped moving, because her eyes narrowed in fear.
“Mason, just go. It’s over. We’re over. I never want to see you again…”
Her voice trembled and her eyes watered, as she watched me absorb what she’d just told me. My body trembled as the pain of her words lashed at my heart, like a whip hitting me over and over again. My eyes filled with tears, as I took in the steady, determination on her face.
“Ambs…” I begged, brokenly, and she shook her head and turned away from me.
“Just go, Mason. Leave me alone. Leave us alone and don’t come back. We don’t want you and we don’t need you. We are fine on our own.”
My fingers ached to reach out to her, but my head processed her words, as my heart splintered and shattered completely. I’d finally done it. I’d finally pushed too hard and now I’d lost her completely. My forever was gone, and she wasn’t coming back. I moved towards the door, too consumed in how hurt I was to fight, or to say anything. When I reached the door and placed my hand on it, I turned back to see her watching me.
“Amber,” I whispered, and my voice shook and cracked, “I will always love you and Zach, if you need me, just call me. I mean it. Call me and I’ll be here. I’ll message you my new cell.”
Her face stayed impassive and I swallowed around the lump in my throat, as I said the one word, I’d never wanted to say to her.
“Goodbye,” I muttered, and she closed her eyes.
For a moment, I stood silently, watching her, then tugged on the handle and stepped through the door as it opened. Once I was outside, I closed the door, with a snap and leaned against the wall. I stood there trying to control the agony that pulsed, through me with every broken beat of my heart. I wanted to go back in, but she didn’t want me. She hated me and wished she’d never met me. My legs shook and tears filled my eyes, as I turned and walked slowly away from her door. I walked along biting my lip to keep the pain inside. Keeping my head down to hide who I was and how much each step away from her was killing me. I bit my lip to try and stop my eyes from leaking, but I couldn’t stop the tears that began to roll down my cheeks.
What had I done?
What had I done to us?
To her?
My shoulders began to shake as I repressed the sobs that were screaming for release, but I couldn’t let them out. I couldn’t break, not here. Not in public. I patted my pockets for my cell and then remembered that it’d fallen out of my pocket, when I’d taken my jeans down to fuck Amber.
It was still in there and I hadn’t picked it back up and I needed it. I needed to call Donny for a ride. I didn’t even have my credit card with me, so I couldn’t get a cab back to the hotel. I turned back to her apartment and slowly dragged my feet back towards the door. She was going to slam the door in my face, and I’d have to walk back to the hotel. I just knew it. When I reached her door, I wiped at my eyes and took a deep breath. I didn’t
want to go in, not after she’d told me she hated me. Not after she told me she wished she’d never met me, but I had no choice. My hand shook as I lifted it to knock on the door and my breathing sped, as my knuckles rattled on it. The sound echoed in the corridor and after a few seconds, Amber opened the door. Her eyes were red-rimmed, and her breathing was irregular, as soon as she took me in standing there, she flew into my arms.
“Mason, I’m so sorry,” she sobbed against my chest and I rubbed at her back in shock. I didn’t expect this reaction at all.
“Hey, it’s okay,” I murmured into her hair, as I pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.
She glanced up at me, before leaning back and lifting her lips to brush against mine.
“No, it’s not. I was mean and cruel, and I didn’t mean it. When you closed the door, my heart broke, because I wanted you to come back. I knew it was my fault for pushing you away, I’m sorry…”
I kissed her firmly, cutting off her words and pushing her against the wall, beside the door. Our lips nipped, tasted, and sucked at each other, as I plundered her mouth with my tongue. If I lived for a million years, I’d never deserve her love. When she lifted her leg and wrapped it around my waist, I pushed against her and reveled in the small groan, that sounded from the back of her throat.
Her hands roamed up inside my jacket and tugged at my tee. She pushed it up and tucked her hands inside, pulling my body harder towards her and I went, completely, willingly. My body was putty in her hands and my erection was rock solid, as I ran my hands up her sides and then back down to her ass. My hands gripped her ass, as her body rubbed against my cock and I pushed against her hard, running my lips down to taste the skin of her neck.
“Amber,” I muttered against her, moaning as she dipped her hands into my jeans and cupped my ass.
“Huh?” she asked, as she pressed her body firmly against mine and tugged my ass more firmly towards her.
My body flamed with desire and I pushed even harder against her, pulling her tightly against me.
“Uh… excuse me…” a voice sounded to our left.
We both broke apart, breathing hard and turned to face a young guy, who was in his late teens. His face was beet red, and he held some food parcels in his hands, in a polystyrene bag.
“Apartment forty-four B. This is your delivery.”
His voice trembled as I scooped the bag out of his hand and muttered a, “Thank You.”
As soon as the food was in my hands, he turned and rushed towards the elevator. I watched him go feeling amused and irritated, that we’d been interrupted again, before we could have another moment. I turned back to Amber, grinning at her embarrassed face.
“Foods here,” I muttered sarcastically, and she giggled.
The sound of her giggle made my heart soar and I leaned forward to capture her lips again. When a throat clearing, made me stop, and turn my head. The young guy was back, and he looked, if possible, even more nervous.
“Hey, I’m so sorry to interrupt, but aren’t you, Mason Michaels?”
I laughed and Amber gave me a startled look at the sound, which I saw from the corner of my eye.
“Yeah, I look a lot like him, huh? I’m not though. My name is Lucas George, and this here is my fiancé Geraldine Thom.”
My accent was southern, and I’d perfected it over the years, because of encounters like this. It made me laugh to see how people reacted to hearing me say that I was someone else and this time, was no exception.
“God, I’m so sorry,” the young guy muttered, backing away, before he turned and ran towards the elevator, as Amber reached behind her and opened the door to her apartment.
“Where were we?” I asked her, and she backed away from me, shaking her head.
“No, Mase. I’m starving.”
“I am too. I wanna taste you again, before we eat.”
Her eyes flamed, and she stepped further back, smirking at me, while I stared at her in amusement.
“No, I’m hungry.”
I was too, but hunger and lust battled inside me. I was longing for another taste of her delectable pussy, although the food smelled divine.
“Come on pretty girl. Just give me a taste, and then we can eat.”
Her teeth came out, and she chewed on her lip, as I moved closer to her.
“What do you say, Amber?” I asked, as I stepped right into her space.
“Do you want me?” I asked in a seductive whisper and she nodded.
“Can I bend you over and fuck you from behind, after I make you scream my name?”
Her breathing increased and I could see her nipples hardening under her tank. I ran my fingers gently along the waistband of her joggers and up to her breasts, dancing around the nipples, before flicking them gently with my fingers.
“Bedroom?” I asked her and she nodded at me.
I scooped her up and carried her to the hallway, pausing at each door. It was getting harder to concentrate on what I was doing, as her lips sucked and nibbled on my neck. Her hands slid inside my jacket and scratched at my shoulders, over my top. I kicked a door open and saw a half-finished nursery, with a cradle in the middle of the floor. The mattress was still in the wrapping, there was a nursing chair and changing station on the other side of the room. The walls were bare and there were paint cans lying on the side of the floor, next to a bay window with a window seat.
“Next room,” she breathed as I scanned the room.
I nodded, stepping back and moving towards the next room. I kicked the door open and stepped into the room as her scent enveloped me. My heart hammered loudly in my ears, when I saw the baby cradle and her bed. I moved towards the bed and lowered her down onto it. Taking my jacket and tee off and watching as her eyes widened and move across my abdomen. She leaned up and traced her fingers along the lines of my abs, making my breath hiss out and my body hum with desire. I opened my buttons, pushed my jeans and boxers down my legs, letting my cock spring free. Almost coming on the spot, when she leaned forwards and drew it into her mouth. Her tongue swirled around the tip and one hand ran down the shaft, twisting and tugging as she sucked.
“Fuck me, Amber,” I breathed.
She tugged a little more firmly and sucked a little harder for a second. Then she stopped and leaned back on the bed, pulling her tank up and exposing her braless tits. I kicked my shoes off, stepped out of my jeans and boxers, before I dropped to the floor between her legs. My hands wandered up them and I ran my finger over her pussy, making her squirm on the bed. I kept going and tugged at the waistband of her joggers, pulling them and her panties down her legs, as she lifted her ass from the bed and opened her legs to me.
Her glistening pussy was in front of my face and I slowly lowered my head, until it was resting between her legs. Her breathing sped up and my cock throbbed with need, as I waited to taste her. I wanted to tease her more, so I pressed a soft kiss to her thigh and ran my nose along towards her waiting pussy.
“Mason,” she begged me breathlessly.
I almost gave in, but I wanted to draw it out and make her want me more. Instead, I scooted back and waited until she sat up and glared at me, in eyes that were hooded with desire.
“Flip over,” I ordered.
She smirked at my tone, as she turned onto her stomach. Her round, ass cheeks were pale and inviting, I moved closer, pressing a soft kiss to each one, before I smacked her ass firmly. Her loud moan encouraged me and I continued to smack her ass, until it was pink and perfect. Once I was satisfied, I leaned down and blew on her tender cheeks. Then lowered my lips to kiss from her crack to her clit. Her loud moans and heavy breathing, encouraged me to do it again. I put my hand under her legs and pressed my thumb to her clit, as I tongued her pussy from behind. Her body pushed down onto my hand, and she rode my tongue, until her breathing sped. Her pussy began contracting around my tongue, while her body tensed, and she rode the wave of her orgasm, as I continued to lap at her pussy.
Cha
pter Twenty-Three
Well and Truly
Amber
My blood raced around my body, as my orgasm began to fade, but my breathing was still fast and furious, and my body still trembled as Mason leaned up. Before I had a second to collect my breath, or my thoughts, he pushed inside me and thrust right in, making me moan again.
“Fuck, Mason,” I moaned, unable to articulate more than that, as he pulled out and slammed back in again.
His thrusts were powerful, and his cock filled me to the hilt. He thrust in and out and held onto my hips, so he could piston in and out of me. He began to get harder and faster, as he slammed into me. I moaned in response, because I could feel the stirrings of an orgasm low in my stomach. Before it could become more pronounced, he stopped for a minute and took his right hand away from my hip. His hand smacked down on my ass and the sound echoed around the room, but he didn’t take his hand away. Instead, he ran it down the crack of my ass and ran his wet finger around my puckered hole. He then pressed in softly, as he pushed his cock into me slowly. I mewled, as my body adjusted to the intrusion of his finger.
He continued his slow withdrawal and then pushed back in a little harder and a little faster, each time. My body trembled and his hand gripped onto my hip tightly, as he tugged me towards him. He thrust into me and pushed his finger a little further into my ass and my body began to respond again. He continued at this pace for a bit and then began to go faster and fuck me harder. His body against mine, had me writhing against the bed, while my body began to tremble, as the tightening in my abdomen grew. My feet curled up and my head flopped forwards, as my orgasm crashed into me and carried me over the finish line.
Mason roared a few seconds later and withdrew his finger from my ass making me groan again. He gave me a soft kiss and then collapsed down onto the bed beside me, breathing hard. As we both caught our breath, we were quiet, and I hadn’t moved at all. My alarm bells grew, as Mason sat up and put his head into his hands. He didn’t look over at me at all, and he kept his eyes closed, as I rolled onto my side and watched him. His toned body was a sight to behold, I reached out and ran my fingers gently up his side. His whole body trembled, he stood and moved away from me, leaving me lost and confused on the bed.
Broken Mercy Page 19