by Carrie Elks
Not that her sleepless nights were only related to her kids. Her sleep had been fitful on Sunday night, thanks to her conversation with Cam Hartson. She’d played it over in her mind, again and again, and every time she winced.
Had she really told him no?
Yeah, she had. And she’d been right, because nothing could ever happen between them. Not even if he sent her heart spinning like crazy.
Or maybe because he did just that. She didn’t like feeling out of control. She was a strong, independent woman. She was in control at all times.
And she wouldn’t let any guy threaten that. Not even one with a smile as sexy as Cam Hartson’s.
But sometimes she wished life was a little bit different.
“Mom?” Josh said, his voice cutting through her thoughts.
“Sorry, honey.” Mia blinked the memories away. “What did you ask?”
“Can I sit with Noah at the game? His brother’s on the team.”
“Um yeah, sure.” Mia nodded, standing to go make their sandwiches. “But you don’t leave the bleachers without asking me, okay?”
“It’s not a big stadium, Mom. Not like in Kansas City,” Michael told her. “You’ll be able to see everybody there.”
“And I’m eight now,” Josh piped up. “I’m not a baby any more.”
“I know.” She ruffled his hair fondly. “I just wish you didn’t have to grow up. Either of you.”
At least they still had this. Homework at the table, meals in the kitchen, and Friday night football. Somehow they were making it through as a family. A smaller one than she’d thought they’d be, but a family nonetheless.
And really, what else mattered but that?
The smell hit Cam as soon as he followed Coach Hawkins through the double doors and walked into the changing rooms. It was like walking back through twenty years of his life, to the days when he and Logan were kings of the locker room.
The aroma of teenage sweat mingled with the powdery fog of deodorant. Clothes were strewn across the benches, socks balled up in sneakers that were flung on the floor. The squad were all dressed though, in the familiar blue and white uniform that used to be Cam’s, along with the white helmets with blue stripes, and the eagle emblazoned on the side.
“Okay, Eagles. You ready for tonight?” Coach Hawkins shouted out. Cam had met with him yesterday, following Derek’s request, and the coach had treated him like an old friend. Yes, he was happy for Cam to help out with the teams. More than happy. They’d spent an hour talking NFL and defensive line ups before Coach Hawkins realized he was late for practice.
And now it was Friday night. The atmosphere in the locker room wasn’t a million miles away from the better equipped and cleaner Bobcats changing room, where Cam had spent half his Sundays for the past nine years. There was a buzz of electricity, peppered with conversation and laughter, as well as the friendly gibes that were part of being in the team
“Remember, Jackson, you’re supposed to catch the ball, not let it sail into the bleachers.”
“Hey, Ben. I hear your new girlfriend’s coming to the game. Let’s hope you don’t end up on your ass like last time.”
“Like your momma ends up on her ass every Saturday night?”
“Fuck you.”
“Eagles!” Coach Carter’s voice was louder this time. Enough for the room to quiet and the players to all look at the door where Cam and Coach Carter were standing, the light from the hallway spilling in behind them. “We have a visitor. Best behavior please.”
“Sorry, Coach,” the curser mumbled.
A rumble of chatter started up as people realized who the visitor was. Cam heard his name repeated, eyes widening as they looked at him.
“Many of you know Cam Hartson, the safety for the Boston Bobcats. He used to be an Eagle, like you. And he’s going to be joining us for practice over the next few weeks, to give you some pointers. He’ll be working with the Varsity and JV teams, so everybody here will get to meet him. And he’ll be watching the game tonight, so give it all you’ve got and make us proud.”
Cam lifted his hand up in greeting. “Hey, it’s good to see you all. Good luck with the game tonight. I’m looking forward to cheering the Eagles on again.”
One of the players walked forward to shake his hand. “This is Grant Ryerson. Our quarterback,” Coach Carter told Cam.
“It’s good to meet you,” Cam said, his grip strong.
“You too, Mr. Hartson.”
“It’s Cam. I’m too young to be a mister at a school.”
The boy nodded, his expression serious. “Yes, sir.”
Ten minutes later, they were walking out to the stadium. There were a few kids at the back dressed in their street clothes. “They’re not playing?” Cam asked the Coach.
“They’re mostly JV players. The ones we think will make Varsity next year. The kid at the back is interesting. Joined us this year, but he’s good. I put him on the freshman team to see what he’s made of, but he’ll be moving to JV next week.”
Cam followed the coach’s gaze to the tall, dark haired boy standing a little apart from the others, and a jolt of recognition went through him. Michael Devlin. The boy’s gaze met Cam’s and pulled away almost immediately, as though he was embarrassed.
Poor kid. New to the school, the team, and now he had to deal with Cam all over again. “What position does he play?”
“Wide receiver.”
Cam nodded and took a seat on the bench where Coach Carter indicated, and glanced around at the bleachers, wondering if Michael’s mom was there. He wasn’t playing, so there was every chance Mia had dropped him off and would pick him up later.
Either way, the thought of seeing her sent a rumble through him. She’d asked him to leave her alone, and he’d done just that. Maybe he’d even been glad she’d turned him down. She was right, he didn’t need any complications. Not even ones that came packaged like her.
With baggage attached.
Yeah, but the packaging was pretty hot.
A drum started playing, then music flooded through the PA system, as the cheerleaders took to the field. Cam swallowed hard, because his memories were so strong. Of being a kid, of having dreams, of knowing that this was the one thing in his life he was good at.
Of having hope that a better life was ahead of him.
Damn, he missed that feeling.
Mia took a seat in the bleachers, coiling her hair over her shoulder as she sought out Michael. She finally saw him standing by the fence, talking to the players, his face serious.
What had happened to the big smile he’d been wearing since he’d gotten home from practice? His moods were so mercurial.
The cheerleaders were on the field, doing the kind of tumbles that always made Mia worry they’d end up faceplanting, but they were graceful and always ended on their feet. Then they ran to the right, exiting the field and the music faded out, replaced by the announcer.
“Friends, parents, players, welcome to Columbus High. It’s Friday night and we’re ready for a game! Let’s hear a big cheer for the teams.”
A loud roar filled the air. Mia joined in, clapping wildly. She couldn’t see Michael anymore. Maybe he was sitting on the benches.
“We also have a very special guest tonight. Before he was a Boston Bobcat, he was a Columbus Eagle. Please give a very warm welcome to Mister Cameron Hartson. One of the best safeties the NFL has ever seen.”
The roar was louder this time, only heightened by the blood rushing through Mia’s ears. She looked down at the sidelines and there he was, waving at the crowds who were shouting his name.
This town was feeling smaller every day. She sat back on the bleachers, swallowing hard, and hoped like hell he couldn’t see her up here. It was only when the teams started running out onto the field that she finally allowed herself to relax. She’d watch the game, find Michael and Josh, and head straight home. She probably wouldn’t have to talk to Cam at all.
Sometimes life was that easy.
<
br /> At the end of the second quarter, the coach gathered the team around him to give them a pep talk. The team was down 12-6, thanks to some impressive plays by the other team. Cam let them talk, wandering over to the refreshment stand lit up with red strip lighting. A line had already formed, and he joined the back of it, but was immediately accosted by one of the parents.
“Mr. Hartson? I’m Renee Mason. My son’s a running back. We’re so blessed to have you here tonight.” The woman smiled and offered her hand. “Is it true you’re going to be coaching the team?”
Word got around fast. “Just for a few weeks, ma’am.” He took her hand and shook it quickly.
Before long, he was surrounded by a group of people, all wanting to introduce themselves. More than once he tried – and failed – to get away. He was parched – desperate for that soda he’d come over for.
A familiar blonde head was at the counter, paying the cashier. Cam looked at the man in front of him who was asking about the best college for his senior son.
“Sorry, I need to grab a soda and get back to the field.” Cam gave him a nod. “Maybe you could make an appointment with Coach Carter. I know he’d be pleased to advise you.”
Mia had just turned the corner, heading away from the refreshment stand. He had to run to catch up with her. “Hey,” he called out. She turned to look at him, her hands full with a soda and popcorn.
“Um, hi.” She gave him a small smile. “I didn’t know you were going to be here tonight.”
Cam shifted his feet. “Yeah, I just wanted to tell you I wasn’t aware your son was on the team. I didn’t want you thinking I’m stalking you. Not after last Sunday.”
Her cheeks pinked up. “About that. I’m sorry. You took me by surprise and I wasn’t very diplomatic.” She blew out a mouthful of air. “I’m usually very polite.”
“It’s okay. You were honest. I can live with that. It was Michael I wanted to talk to you about,” Cam told her. “He looked embarrassed when he realized I’ll be helping the teams out with some coaching. Do you think it’ll help if I speak with him?”
“You’re going to be coaching the team?”
“For a few weeks. The JV and Varsity team. He’s JV, right?”
“Kind of. He’s been on the freshman team, but he was moved up. He was so excited.”
He couldn’t help but stare at her face. Her skin was so damned perfect. In the harsh light of the floodlamps it was almost translucent.
“He had a sour face when you were introduced over the PA,” Mia continued. “I guess he’s worried you’re gonna be pissed with him.”
“I’m not. I’ll treat everybody the same. The coach thinks he has a lot of talent. Wants me to work with him, but if you don’t want me to, I’ll bow out. No hard feelings.”
She took a deep breath. Her green eyes looked clouded with thoughts. “You know what?” she said, that smile still ghosting across her lips. “This is stupid. You’re an NFL player. He could benefit so much from learning what you have to teach. Let’s try to make him more comfortable.” She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, and he couldn’t stop looking at it.
“How should we do that?”
“Are you free tonight? After the game?” She swallowed hard, and of course his eyes were drawn to her throat. Damn, he needed to get a hold of himself.
“Yeah, I’m free.”
“The boys and I are planning to eat at the diner. Maybe you could join us if you’d like? No pressure. If you don’t want to be seen with us, that’s fine, too. Or if you have a better offer…”
“Mia.” His gaze caught hers. “I’d love to come to dinner with you all. Michael and I can talk about the game, or whatever else comes up.”
Her shoulders relaxed. “Okay. Great. I’ll have to wait for Michael, so if you get there before we do, just hold a table, okay?”
A loud roar came from the crowd. “I should get back,” Mia said, inclining her head at the bleachers. “I’ll see you later.”
“Yeah,” he murmured, as he watched her turn and walk up the stairs, her golden hair catching the floodlamps. “You will.”
Chapter Nine
As the game played out, Mia’s mind was somewhere other than the football field. Sure, she was staring straight ahead, her eyes fixed on the game, but it was like there was an invisible curtain between her vision and her thoughts. Had she really asked Cam Hartson to join them for dinner? What happened to avoiding him?
She scooped up some popcorn and pushed it into her mouth, but the kernels tasted like ash as they hit her tongue. Wrinkling her nose, she washed it down with a big gulp of soda, then looked at the family next to her.
“Would your little girl like my popcorn?” she asked the mom, who was wearing an Eagles shirt, a blue stripe of paint smeared across her nose. “There’s nothing wrong with it, I’m just not that hungry.”
“Can I, Mom?” the little girl asked, a smile bursting out on her face.
“Okay. But be sure to say thank you.”
The girl took the carton in both hands, holding it like it was some kind of prize. “Thank you,” she whispered.
“You’re welcome.” Mia winked at her.
As the Eagles made a play, her mind was still a mess of thoughts. How could the man get more attractive every time she saw him? It was so unfair. Her body needed to be put in a time out. Because she had no time or inclination to deal with this attraction she felt toward him.
Not even if her body heated up every time their eyes met. He was so damn tall it was stupid, dwarfing her five foot three frame. For a moment, she pictured him sliding his hands beneath her, hitching her body against his. She could almost feel the iron of his muscles against her soft skin.
Stop it! He’s your son’s coach.
When the game finally ended – with the Eagles winning 26-20 – Mia rushed down the steps and waited at the bottom for Josh. Families filed past her, young children hitched on their dads’ shoulders or clinging to their moms’ hands, laughing and talking as they made their way to the parking lot.
For a moment, her heart clenched, because that had been her family once. The four of them, walking away from Michael’s games, talking about where they’d be going out for dinner.
She pushed the thought away. That was old news. And the good times had been so few and far between, anyway. Instead she painted a smile on her face, nodding at the friendly glances she was sent.
“Mom! Mom!” Josh came barreling down, and her smile widened. “Noah says I can stay over at his house tonight. They’re getting pizza. Can I go? Please?”
“What does his mom say?” Mia asked dryly. She was too experienced a parent to think that plans made between kids were set in stone.
“It’s fine by us.” Noah’s mom put her hand on her son’s shoulder, offering the other to Mia. “I’m Alice Rickson. We live on Shawson Circle, about a ten minute walk from your place. I’ll send you the details if you give me your number.”
“Please, Mom?” Josh said again.
Okay, so it would just be her and Michael with Cam. That was fine.
“Sure. Do you need me to drop some things off?” Mia asked Alice.
“No, we have everything. Josh can borrow some PJs from Noah, and we have spare toothbrushes. We can drop him off in the morning on the way to Noah’s pee wee practice.”
“That would be wonderful. Thank you.” Shooting Alice a grateful smile, Mia hunkered down in front of her son. “Be good, and make sure you brush your teeth before bed, okay?”
Josh sighed. “Okay, Mom.”
She leaned forward to kiss his forehead. He wrinkled his nose, but submitted. She knew it was only a matter of time before he started rejecting her public displays of affection. She could remember the first time Michael stepped away from her, telling her he was too old for kisses.
Why did they have to grow up?
She waited in the car for Michael, listening to a country station as she watched boys spilling out of the door, talking and laughing. Not
that you could really call them boys. They were men in all ways but age. Tall, strong, and most of them had at least some kind of facial hair.
She wasn’t sure she was ready to admit her son was becoming a man.
It was ten minutes later that her phone lit up. She looked at the screen, her brows dipping when she saw Michael’s name. “Hey honey, everything okay?”
“Yeah, all good. A couple of the guys are heading over to Mark’s place to grab some food. They asked me if I could go.”
“Who’s Mark?”
“He’s on the JV team. Can I go?” Michael’s tone was short. She wondered if somebody was listening to him.
“How are you going to get there?” There was no way she was letting him ride in another teenager’s car. At least not without vetting them first.
“Mark’s mom is here. She’s driving us. Is it okay?” he asked quickly.
“You’ll keep your phone on at all times. If I call, you pick up. This is your chance to prove to me that you can be responsible, okay?”
Michael sighed. “Whatever you say.”
“I mean it, Michael. If anything goes wrong, that’s it. You’ll be spending every Friday with me and Josh for the rest of your life.”
“Nothing will go wrong. I promise.” His tone was more conciliatory.
“Okay.” It was her turn to sigh. “Call me when you want me to pick you up. Have fun.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
Putting her phone down, Mia let her head fall back onto the car seat behind her. She was pleased her boys were making friends. But there was a little chunk of her heart that disappeared every time they were away.
A sudden thought over took her. Cam! They were supposed to be meeting at the diner. Oh lord. She ran her tongue over her dry lips, because the thought of sitting alone with him and having dinner made her tense up all over.
She’d cancel. Simple. He wouldn’t want to eat with just her, anyway. Dinner was supposed to be about putting Michael at ease, and Cam couldn’t do that if Michael wasn’t there.