by Anna Abner
“Were you able to analyze it?” Oh, the end loomed so close. A few microscopes, some chemicals, and a centrifuge and we might actually have a usable cure.
“I’m, um, working on it now.”
“Well, how is he? I haven’t seen him since we got here. Are there any new symptoms? Is his fever back? Is he sleeping? How’s his blood pressure?”
“He’s stable.” Smart wouldn’t look at me anymore, and his pace increased so much I had to jog to keep up. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of the samples.”
Not take care of Ben. The samples. Before I could ask him anything else, he pushed into a downstairs room and shut the door in my face.
“Weird,” I mumbled as I turned away. But I ‘d found everyone at the new Camp Carson a little odd. Malcolm and his militant personality. Juliet and her unusual friendships with the men. And now Smart and his anti-social, nervous behavior.
But strange people did great things all the time. Just because Smart seemed fishy didn’t necessarily mean he couldn’t pull this off.
Because they had Ben. I’d handed them the answer to our prayers. I had to have faith that they wouldn’t screw it up.
I stared up at Ben’s door, the fourth one from the left, and then went in search of Pollard.
“I saw you talking to Smart,” he said when I found him.
“Yeah.” My brows scrunched tight as I tried to determine how angry he was at me. At least he wasn’t yelling. “When I asked him if Ben was okay, he told me he was taking care of the samples.”
“What do think he meant?”
I bit at my lip. I had a bad feeling. “I’m not sure, but I don’t like it. He was rushing away from me the same way Malcolm darts off every time I ask him about Ben.”
“It is suspicious.” He reached for my hand. “I’m sorry about losing my temper.”
“I’m sorry if I’m distracted.” I gave his fingers a squeeze. “I wish I could see him. Just once. To know he’s all right.”
“Maybe I can help.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me and I fought a silly smile. “While you were talking to Smart, Malcolm assigned me roof duty tonight. If you can get by the other guard without being seen, I promise not to sound the alarm.”
He handed me a sheathed knife. “For getting inside the door.”
Hope flushed through my chest as I accepted the weapon. I might see Ben tonight. “But how am I supposed to break into his room?” It was always locked. The times I’d seen Smart enter or leave he’d always used a key.
“You’ll think of something.”
The men lit candles and lanterns at dusk as they prepared for bed or quiet time, but as if there was a regulation about that, too, by an hour after sunset there were all off. The only light shone from the moon and stars, which was plenty for sneaking from one building to the other.
I waited until Pollard left to start his guard duty, and then I waited a little longer.
“I wish I could go with you,” Hunny said. “I want to talk to Ben, too.”
“Not this time.” I ruffled her soft curls. “But you can watch through the window. Just don’t call any attention to me. Remember, this is a secret mission.”
She rolled her pretty green eyes at me. “You are so weird.”
“See you in a while.” I shut her into the room, crossed the landing, and jogged down the stairs.
With Pollard standing guard on our roof, I had a fifty-fifty chance of success. If I could run across the parking lot before the second guard saw me, I’d be safe from scrutiny.
The second guard, the one atop Ben’s barracks building, turned his back on me to survey the surrounding area, and I dashed across the pavement. I was fast. I knew he hadn’t seen me. To be careful, though, I waited at the bottom of the staircase, regulating my breathing, and slowing my heart rate as I tensed for the coming alarm.
No one shouted for back up. No one came out of the barracks to catch me.
I’d made it across the parking lot without being spotted.
I was pretty sure Smart did not stay the night in Ben’s room, and I didn’t see any light peeking between the curtains or from under the door, so if I could get up there and inside, it would be just me and Ben.
I darted upstairs, keeping on my tiptoes and sticking to the stairwell’s shadows.
One. Two. Three. Four doors from the left I stopped and pressed my ear to the cold metal. “Ben?”
No answer. I listened for long seconds, hoping to hear a voice or even a rustle of clothes as he stood up or moved toward me. But it was silent and still inside his room.
“Ben?” I spoke a little louder, but not much. Sound carried in the quiet differently than it had in our old world full of humming background noise. I couldn’t risk alerting Malcolm or any of his followers to my whereabouts.
The next door was ajar and I peeked inside. Two generators buzzed. Someone had drilled holes through the cinderblocks and thick electrical cords ran from the generators, through the walls, and directly into Ben’s room. I tiptoed inside and pressed first my eye and then my ear to the wall.
“Ben?”
Nothing.
I snuck back out to his door and knelt in front of it, tapping with my nails on the metal surface. Tick-tick-tick.
“I’ve been worried about you,” I whispered.
The doorknob wouldn’t turn. And I didn’t have the strength or knowledge to kick the metal door down. I jammed the tip of the knife Pollard had given me in the lock and jiggled, but nothing happened.
“Are you okay? Can you hear me?” Silence. “Did you hear when I played my guitar? Ben, please, can you snap your fingers or do something so I know you’re still in there?”
I got a very bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. What if the room was empty? What if Ben was gone? Though I couldn’t imagine where Malcolm and Smart would have taken him, the thought of him being gone made my insides cramp uncomfortably. He’d followed me so far. We’d been through so much. If he was simply in solitary confinement to protect him from cross-contamination, why didn’t he answer me?
“Ben?”
A throat cleared behind me. I was so startled that I leapt to my feet and darted toward the far stairs, but a hand clamped around my upper arm and dragged me back.
Malcolm and his henchman, Hoyt. I jerked my arm free and stood quivering against the railing.
I didn’t say anything. I had broken Malcolm’s rules, snuck out after dark, and tried to break into Smart’s medical lab. There was nothing to say.
“Can you explain yourself, Solomon?” Malcolm asked, so smug in his obvious authority. He was the worst kind of schoolyard bully, but all grown up. And I was really starting to hate him.
“My friend is in there,” I reminded him. “You won’t let me see him. You won’t tell me what’s happening to him.”
“So,” he interrupted, “you took it upon yourself to find out?” He did not look amused. “This is insubordination.”
I didn’t know how to answer so I just shut up.
“But since it’s your first offense,” he acted like I should bow down in gratitude, “I’ll release you with a warning and extra chores tomorrow. How does laundry duty sound to you?”
I was desperate. Not hearing or seeing anything inside Ben’s room had made me so.
“No, I don’t accept that,” I shot back. “You can’t punish me for caring about my friend. And I won’t do it.”
Malcolm stared at me as if he were trying very hard to understand a foreign language.
So, I pressed on. “Just let me see my friend. Give me five minutes with him and I’ll stop bothering you.”
“That’s not going to happen.”
“Why not!” I exploded, throwing my hands into the air. “What gives you the right to keep me away from him?”
“I am in charge of this camp.” His face flushed deep red. “You don’t know how the virus works anymore than I do. If he’s contagious and I allow you to go in and out of that room like it’s a merry-go-round, you could
be contagious. Then we’re all infected. All of us. Dead.”
As if I wasn’t aware what happened after infection. “He’s not contagious.” But Malcolm had a point. I couldn’t study Ben the way a real doctor could. He might be contagious. He might be re-infected. He might revert to his former infected state. I’d had the same doubts.
Malcolm took a step toward me as if he was going to bodily move me away from Ben’s door, but hesitated at the last second. “This is not a negotiation, Solomon. Return to your room. And don’t ever break one of my rules again. I don’t care if you think you have a good reason or not.”
Was he letting me off with a warning? I was too scared to ask and tempt fate.
“This won’t happen again,” he called after me as I fled across the parking lot. “Do you understand me, Solomon?”
Chapter Fifteen
I waved a hand over my head and got into my barracks as quick as I could.
“How did it go?” Hunny asked the moment I closed the door behind me.
I sighed, slumping onto my top bunk and hugging both pillows to my midsection. “I got caught.”
“Did you get in trouble?” Her green eyes widened.
“Only a little,” I admitted. “But the worst part is I couldn’t hear Ben. Not at all.” I looked up at the girl. “That’s not a good sign, is it?” But I already knew the answer. It was a bad sign. A very, very bad sign.
We settled into bed, Hunny curling into my side. I absently wrapped an arm around her, but I couldn’t fall asleep.
Why hadn’t he answered me?
Sometime before the first bell our door opened and Pollard stumbled in. I’m sure he was trying to be quiet, but I heard his every step, his hands going in and out of his pockets, and his fingers ripping loose the laces on his boots.
“How was guard duty?” I whispered. “Any surprises?”
He tiptoed to the edge of my top bunk and propped his elbows on my mattress. His blue eyes were dark as chips of sapphires in the low light. “No. How did your mission go?”
“Crappy. I didn’t get to see or talk to Ben, and Malcolm caught me outside his door.”
His brows drew together. “What happened?”
“Not much,” I grumbled. “But I’m really worried about Ben. He wouldn’t answer me. And Malcolm called him ‘the sample’, like he isn’t a real person anymore.”
Pollard rose up and reached across the bed for me. “Come here.”
I knew what he wanted. I hesitated too long and a hurt look crossed his face. Then, feeling guilty, I wiggled to the edge of my bunk and lifted my chin. He pressed his lips to mine, but rather than comforting me, it made me feel anxious and guilty.
I couldn’t keep pretending. It wasn’t fair to Pollard. But the truth was, it wasn’t his face I saw when I closed my eyes at night.
Maybe if I told him the truth, he could be happy with someone else. Not Simone, certainly, but someone kind like Juliet.
In hushed tones I said, “Pollard, I can’t.” I twisted away. “I’m sorry.”
He grimaced as if I’d wounded him. “It’s him, isn’t it?” he hissed back. “The zombie.”
“Pollard,” I admonished. Now my stomach really hurt. “It’s complicated.”
“No.” He laughed without humor. “It’s simple. You can’t stop thinking about a zombie, even when you’re with me.”
He was right. “I’m sorry,” I whispered again.
Simone lightly cleared her throat, and I realized even whispering we had woken her up, and probably Hunny, too. Great. Our private business was now public knowledge.
“I need to sleep,” he hissed at me, and even in the dark I recognized the pain and anger in his eyes. “I can’t do this right now.” He stripped down to his boxer shorts and got into his bed. He twisted around and turned his back to the room.
I rolled over and made eye contact with Hunny. Yep. Public knowledge.
I didn’t say anything, and neither did she. I just climbed down the ladder, grabbed my toiletries and fresh clothes, and took the first turn in the bathroom.
I was brushing my hair in front of the mirror when there was a knock at our door.
Pollard opened it dressed only in his boxers.
“Datsik,” Malcolm greeted. “Gather yourself, Solomon, and Boyd for a meeting in my room ASAP.” He spun on his heel and marched away.
“What did I do?” Simone complained. “I slept through all the excitement.”
No, it was about me and sneaking around Ben’s isolation chamber. Malcolm had threatened to punish me. Maybe this was his sentencing hearing and he needed witnesses.
We all got dressed and, leaving Hunny with Juliet, we knocked on Malcolm’s closed door. He answered immediately.
I’d never been inside Malcolm’s room before. Had no reason to be. It was stern and drab, like the man. No mementos, no old photos, no personal belongings to be seen. The walls were bare, the bed was made, and all the visible surfaces were clear of stuff as if he was still an officer in the navy.
He’d afforded himself one luxury. In the place of our bunk bed he had a nice leather sofa with pillows and a mauve, crocheted afghan spread across the back.
“Have a seat.” He motioned toward the sofa.
Pollard purposefully put Simone between us, and I knew he was still upset from our conversation the night before. I’d hoped to talk to him more after he’d had a nap and a little breakfast, but maybe we’d have to do this tired, hungry, and irritable.
Once we were seated, Malcolm leaned his hip against the dresser and leered down at us. “Let’s clear the air.” He glanced at each of us and maybe that was the closest thing to a smile he could muster that early in the morning. “As a rule, we don’t take in stragglers.” He folded his arms as if settling in for a long story. “Our situation here is tenuous. One heavy-duty zombie attack, one infiltration from a competing group of survivors, one contagion, and it could all vanish.”
Pollard said, “All of us survivors are on shaky ground.”
Malcolm raised a hand and though he didn’t say, Please hold your comments until the end, that’s what he meant. “We don’t bring in stragglers because they cause trouble. It’s difficult to determine at first sight if a person has a strong work ethic. If they’re honest and trustworthy. If they’ll turn on you the second you take your eyes off them. But we made an exception for you people. We welcomed you in with open arms.”
I rolled my eyes. I couldn’t help it. They put up with us, which wasn’t the same thing.
“Because,” Malcolm continued, frowning at me, “you claimed to be able to cure skin eaters. And we’ve accepted the infected young man into our camp even though we don’t know how dangerous or contagious he might be. And we will do everything within our power to extract the information from him in order to help others. But you all have to understand a few things.”
I shifted around, readying for a lecture. I hated lectures.
“First of all, the safety and security of this camp is more important to me than anything else or any one person. Period.” He swung his gaze back to me. “And if any of you do anything to jeopardize the health of this camp, I will exile you. Swiftly and permanently. Do you understand?”
I nodded because I knew my sneaking around had gotten us into this mess.
“Secondly, your group is here on a probationary basis,” Malcolm continued. “That means I’m not convinced your group is a good fit for our camp.”
Pollard snorted. “What are you saying? You’re reserving judgment on kicking us out?”
Malcolm looked him straight in the eye. “We’ve done it before. We’ll do it again.”
“This isn’t a community,” Pollard said. “It’s a dictatorship.”
“You’re right,” Malcolm said without skipping a beat. “And if you don’t like the way I run things, I encourage you to leave. Immediately.”
I gazed at Pollard, afraid he’d strain under Malcolm’s yoke and announce our departure. But I couldn’t leave.
Not without Ben.
Pollard must have picked up on my silent entreaty because his shoulders sagged as he sighed. “We like it here,” he lied. “We want to stay.”
“Great news,” Malcolm exclaimed. “I’m going to hold you to that. Now. No more late night shenanigans. No more episodes of insubordination. Just this once, I’ll chalk it up to first-timer nerves.”
Pollard stood and the two men shook hands.
“I see great things in store for all of us,” Malcolm said.
I wasn’t so sure. But I shook his hand, feeling as if I was making a deal with the devil, one I didn’t fully comprehend.
We shuffled out of the room as the breakfast bell clanged.
Malcolm had one more piece of advice. “Think of the good of the camp before yourselves and you’ll fit in fine here.”
He ushered us out, and we stood awkwardly in the courtyard. I chanced a look at Pollard and saw, under the exhaustion carving lines around his mouth, that he was still wounded from our conversation.
“Pollard…” I took a step in his direction, hating to see the pain I’d caused him.
He held up a hand. “Don’t. Just don’t.”
Simone turned her full attention on us and our little drama, and I flushed, but this was important. I had to explain myself. Even if we had an audience.
“I’m trying to be fair,” I said softly. “I do think about him.”
“Do you like him?” he demanded, his voice harsh.
Images flipped through my mind. Ben protecting me on the road. His gifts. His eyes as they stared at me, through me.
“Yes.”
Pollard’s eyebrows popped up. “You like him?” He must not have believed it possible. “But you and I.” Then he faltered as if he couldn’t form any further syllables.
Simone slid an arm around him, all sympathy and comfort. “Don’t waste your breath on her,” she said. “She’s not worth it, honey.”
But he wasn’t listening to her. “I don’t accept that, Maya.”
“I don’t know what else to say,” I admitted. “I care about you. But—”
“A zombie?” he exploded, wrenching out of Simone’s grasp. “Are you kidding me?”
His furious voice, usually such a balm to me, brought tears to my eyes. “He’s not a zombie.” But no one was hearing me.