by Eden O'Neill
He really hadn’t been able to keep his shit together upon seeing me either.
And now that he did see…
I fully expected the worst out of this guy. Especially if we were staying in the same resort for an entire extended weekend.
Dad hugged Mom. “I invited Jaxen and he invited some of his friends, but don’t worry, C. We’ll do our best to stay out of your hair.”
Dad passed me a wink, laughter in his voice. I forced a laugh too, as did Kit beside me, but she had to feel the shake in my arms. My mouth dried like the freaking Sahara at what vicious delights this guy would do to me now, knowing I was here. It angered me. Frustrated me to hell.
And I was tired of playing too.
I didn’t want to pretend anymore, completely over all this.
“We won’t even eat lunch with you today,” Dad said, letting go of Mom. He headed over to Jax. “Really just wanted to say hi. We’re all headed over to the golf course now. Right, son?”
So stiff at the words, a dark glint in his eyes before my stepbrother schooled it—he really was so good at that—and clearly got his sanity back. He shined my adoptive father the brightest of smiles and gave his hand to my mom when she offered it in farewell too. Kit rubbed mine while I watched it all, and eventually, Mom nudged Dad away so we could get back to our girls’ weekend.
“Okay. Okay,” Dad said, giving me a hug. “I’ll see you later. I’m sharing the room with your mom so I’ll be around.”
That sounded good to see him, that he’d be around, but it sucked that his devil spawn had to be too. He probably wouldn’t be in the same suite, but he’d be nearby.
Our parties separated, Jax and his friends going one way with my dad while Mom, Kit, and I went the other. I asked Kit to hang with Mom a second because I needed to go back to the room for something.
The pair ended up saying they’d go to the gift shop to wait for me. Meanwhile, I stalked back to the lobby, hoping to find Jax, and surprisingly, he, his friends, and my dad were still there. They headed to the pro shop, but I waved down Jax, asking to speak to him for a second.
Dad immediately noticed, his smile wide, but without making a deal of it, he pointed toward the pro shop.
Jax’s friends started to hang back too until Jax waved them on. I got lingering looks from all of them, but the longest was definitely that guy Royal. It was like he was trying to figure me out, like he was cautious and didn’t want to leave the two of us alone.
“We’ll be fine,” Jax said to him like he picked up on that too, and nodding, Royal left and went with the other guys.
I got right to it.
“Look, I know you don’t want to be here knowing that I’m here,” I started, and he didn’t even grant me with his attention. He stared off. Like he was done with this, done with me. I crossed in front of him. “I know you don’t like me and that the last place you want to be is here with me, but I’ll stay out of your way. I’ll do that if you do the same.”
I didn’t want to be around him either. The last place I wanted to be, and since I was over this conversation too, I started to leave.
He wouldn’t let me.
In fact, he grabbed me up so quick I basically got whiplash, my braid hitting my chest. His irises flared to an ultra green, his lips pursing.
“You ever think for once,” he stated, his fingers biting hard into my flesh, “that not every goddamn thing in my life is about you?”
He made it seem that way, like his driving force in life was about me. Ruining my life.
He let go of me so fast I nearly fell, having to actually catch myself on my sandals. He shook his head. “You stay the fuck out of my way, because no. Not everything is about the goddamn Girl Scout all the time.”
His voice cracked on the end there, like literally cracked as he looked at me.
He stalked away without another word, and I followed his back all the way to the pro shop. His friends had been waiting there, right at the entrance. He passed them with a shake of the head, and they didn’t wait before going after him. They went with him like large sweeps of the ocean. He moved, and they moved.
I guessed I needed to do the same on my end.
Chapter Thirteen
Jax
Around the third hole, I’d managed to keep my mouth shut. My buddies had gratefully done all the talking during lunch, and that kept up on the course. But then Rick spoke directly to my friends.
He spoke about me.
“So you boys have been friends with Jaxen long then?” he asked, casually because he honestly didn’t know. He didn’t remember. He didn’t care and asked the question like he’d never met any of them before. These guys had been friends with me basically my whole life.
He didn’t remember.
He was too busy with his sickeningly perfect family, in his sickeningly perfect house, and with his sickeningly perfect job. I knew this whole weekend would be bullshit. I fucking knew, which was why I didn’t even want to go. I had to admit, Rick talked a good game, wanting to hang out with just me for three whole days…
I knew that shit was fucked, and instead of going with my instincts, my gut, I allowed my friends to convince me to go. Even then, I refused. It was only after they’d offered to come down here too and back me up I even entertained the weekend at all. I let them get in my head. I let them push.
When I should have listened to number one.
I knew the real man here on the golf course today, the liar. The cheat. I’d only been foolish for a half a second to think something else.
Well, he checked my ass in the end, didn’t he?
I started to open my mouth, respond to his idiot-ass question myself, but like a pro, Royal peeled in. He’d been doing that, they all had. My friends didn’t even give me the seconds to think about interacting with my biological father.
Mostly, because they knew what would happen.
Royal’s arm came around my shoulders, the one who did the most talking today. I wasn’t surprised, I supposed. He was always the cool and calm one whenever any of us were in our feelings. He patted my chest. “Uh, yes, sir. Since elementary school. Right, buddy?”
So many things in Royal’s eyes, so many unspoken words. I got the same from both LJ and Knight on the other side of my father. They were speaking to me without really speaking.
They were warning me.
But all this, today, was all their goddamn fault anyway. I let them get in my head, let them allow me to believe for even a second that this man…
That this man cared.
I was nothing but a show to this motherfucker, a way to add to his perfect family unit. He wanted me to be a part of the act.
And fuck did he play my ass.
“Sure,” I said, shouldering away. Getting my club, I putted the green. I tapped the ball right into the hole, having done this more than once. “Something he’d know if he remembered.”
The words came out, and I didn’t even try to stop them, seeing them all over everyone’s faces when I stood. I got the telltale disappointment from my friends, the biggest supporters in my corner. That’s why they’d come, to support me, but only I knew there was nothing to support. This sick fuck didn’t want anything to do with me.
If he did, I would have been enough.
A neck rub from my buddy Knight, and LJ, well, his eyes had flickered away entirely. It was only Royal that stared on, shaking his head, and Rick, my father’s jaw shifted a little. It was like he was finally starting to see the brevity of what he’d done, his absence.
And how I truly felt about it.
This whole thing had been a lie from the jump, and I’d failed when I let this guy get into my head. He’d called me last week at school, preaching about a weekend away, and I wanted nothing to do with it. I figured, what was the fucking point? I hated this guy.
But then my friends.
They’d been able to convince me of something else, show me the opportunity in the time. If my busy congressman of an absent father was taking an en
tire weekend away, taking the time to be with just me, then that meant something. It was something none of them ever had due to crap and fucked up happenstance with their own fathers. They said it would be worth it to spend time with him, but not for him, for me. They said to give it a chance and that they, my good friends, would come too. They’d even brought their girls, made it a whole trip. They’d literally dragged their ladies down and put a stop to their entire lives to be here with me, root for me.
What they hadn’t known was this was a losing game from the jump.
And I think everyone could see that now.
This cause with me and my bio dad was a lost one. A pointless one I should have never entertained. My friends had labored for nothing, brought their women down for nothing. Currently, all their girlfriends and Royal’s fiancee, December, were living it up at the resort. My boys had sacrificed time with them for this.
For this fucker.
A throat jump in Rick’s direction and a throat clear from Royal. He was trying to appease things, even now with the tension. Royal braced the back of my neck. “I’m sure he just forgot, Jax. It was a really long time ago,” he started, then frowned at me. “And we all look different. Are different.”
We weren’t that goddamn different, and the fact I had not one but three best friends? Yeah, that shit was hard to fucking forget. I went everywhere with these guys, and Royal himself was our goddamn neighbor when my dad had literally been living in our house. My mom and I hadn’t moved.
He should have remembered.
Hands slid into Rick’s pockets, his smile a faint one. “Yes, I must have forgotten. I’m sorry, son. This old memory of mine.”
He passed it off with laughter, but there were no jokes here and since he obviously didn’t know what to say, he tapped the air. “My apologies. To all you fellas. Really.”
“Completely not a big deal.” LJ raised his hand, his look passed to me. “Right, Jax. Not a big deal?”
“Of course, it’s not.” Knight on my other side. He slapped my shoulders. “Jax has always been the kidder.”
The wrong thing to say, completely. Especially when my dad did laugh, given the permission to, an out. He was given allowances once again to not know shit about me and my life, and I was tired of giving them.
I’d given him more than ten years.
Knight squeezed my shoulders as I checked myself once again, and Royal took the opportunity during my check to putt his own ball. Knight and LJ left to join him and Rick fucking Fairchild took the opportunity to come over to me.
He edged in, his smile still small. “I’m really sorry, son. I didn’t mean—”
“You don’t ever, do you?” I asked, point-blank. I got up in his face. “So tell me. What did you actually mean, Rick?”
“Jax.”
Royal hadn’t actually bent down to putt, standing there, and both LJ and Knight the same. They stood there, stood on watching my father and me.
I’d like to say Rick looked shocked by what I said, that it completely surprised him that I called him anything else but Dad. After all, that’s what I’d been calling him the entire time he’d been back in my life.
Yeah, I can lie too motherfucker.
Learned from the best, how to act like you care about someone when you really didn’t. God, he was so good.
And I was such an idiot.
I started to walk away, but he got my arm—fucking dangerous. I ripped it away, and that’s when my buddies stepped in.
“Cool the fuck off,” Royal growled, tugging me back and away. “Don’t do this. Don’t say something you’ll regret.”
But I wouldn’t, and oh, how sweet it would be to tell this guy off. I’d been tasting it, for years tasting it on my tongue. I pressed my chest to Royal’s. “Get out of my way before I go through you.”
Unfazed, he stared at me, nostrils flaring.
And behind us we had an audience.
My other buddies stood in the wings, crowding me. They all shielded me, a protective conclave, but I didn’t need their protection.
“Fellas?”
From behind them came my father, bio dad with his golf club in his hands. He waited on, seeing what my friends were doing.
Which was keeping me from killing him.
It seems he didn’t care for the courtesy, coming forward. A heavy sigh and he was passing a look between us all. “Can I talk to my son for a moment? Just the two of us?”
I had absolutely nothing to say to this man. Not a goddamn thing. He knew where we stood now obviously. I had a bone to pick with him and always would, why I was here.
I just wished I would have held tight to my guns.
I should have told him hell no to this fucking weekend from the jump, not entertained all this bullshit, and my friends looked like they wanted to do anything but leave.
My dad stood tall, though. Stood his ground and after looking at me, maybe even gauging the situation, my buddies eventually backed off.
“We’ll go get some drinks,” Royal suggested, and both Knight and LJ reluctantly nodded. All three had given me the eye, though, a silent plea. They wanted to know if I’d be okay.
But I wasn’t sure.
I didn’t know what I’d do if left alone with this man, but I allowed it. Royal waved the group on, and they took a golf cart to go get those drinks. Meanwhile, my biological father and myself stood on in the hot sun.
Another sigh on his end, a deep one as he fisted his club. “Do you have something to say to me then? You want to say something to me?”
Well, where did I fucking start?
I said nothing, though, unable to give him the satisfaction. Instead, I peeled around him, but Rick got my arm. “Come on, Jaxen—”
“It’s Jax, which you’d know if you knew anything about me, my life, or my friends.”
His hand left, complete and all brightness evaporating from his eyes. He’d been nothing but shines and smiles since we’d been reunited, a false sense of security I’d given him. It’d been on purpose. His lips dampened. “I know you’ve been dealt a shitty hand. That I dealt it to you.”
“Do you?” Up in his face again. I smiled. “Tell me. How shitty was it? Tell me how I’m supposed to feel about you.”
“You can feel any way you want. And I get your anger.”
This fucker didn’t know the half. I shot a finger. “You don’t get to try and figure me out.”
“No, but I’d like to. I’d like to know how you feel and…” A hand raised and dropped. “Is this how you’ve felt the whole time? Is this how you feel?” I started to walk away but he grabbed me again. “Jaxen—Jax,” he corrected, sighing as he let me go. “I want to understand. I want us to talk. If this is how you’ve felt the whole time, why didn’t you just tell me?”
I shouldn’t have to.
And I had so much more in store.
I was going to ruin what he had. What he built.
And it’d start with his ho of a stepdaughter.
How easy it would be for me to crush this fucker where he stood? To tell him exactly what me and his precious little stepdaughter had been up to. How she was all over me?
And how she was just as much of a slut as his wife.
“I think we should call it a day, Dad,” I stated, completely mocking him before wetting my lips. “I’m sure you got some girls to get back to.”
After all, he’d brought them, hadn’t he? Made sure they were here with us during a weekend to get to know me. That’s what he’d actually said.
And I’d fallen for that shit.
Rick’s eyes twitched wide at that last statement, but as I didn’t feel like expanding on it, I left his ass on the green. I took the last golf cart, getting in.
“Jax… Jax, can we talk?”
I peeled away, not even giving this guy another thought.
He could walk his ass back to the resort.
Chapter Fourteen
Cleo
Kit had to ditch me for tennis the followi
ng morning. She had a tendency of eating dairy when her body definitely didn’t agree with it and had been up half the night with the most epic case of diarrhea. I knew because I’d heard it, and rather than make her get up this morning, I let her sleep. Mom told me she’d meet me at the courts as she and Dad had been talking about something before I left. I hadn’t heard much, but I had heard Jaxen’s name.
It hadn’t been the first time.
They’d gone to bed talking about him, whispers in their room. I’d walked in to say goodnight to them last night. I’d been with Mom and Kit all day. We’d had a fun-filled day with the spa, shopping, and then the beach, but I hadn’t seen Dad all day. He’d made good on his promise, doing his own thing. I assumed with Jaxen and those other boys.
He’d appeared more than tense when I came in, his smile forced. Mom had had her hand on his shoulder.
“Goodnight, baby,” Mom had said, but something told me I wasn’t supposed to be there. It’d been the way she looked at me.
And the way my adoptive father barely did.
I’d received a hug from him, both of them before heading off to my area of the suite, but something had definitely felt weird about the exchange, off. I started to close the door, and that’s when I heard Jaxen’s name. There’d been no context really. Just his name.
In any sense, their exchange really hadn’t been any of my business. But the fact that they’d been speaking again about him this morning did set a worry in my gut. I wanted to know what was going on, but then, I kept hearing Jax’s voice in my head.
“Not everything is about the goddamn Girl Scout all the time.”
I was well aware not everything in his life was about me, but if he’d done something, something regarding my family, I wanted to know. I was basically on autopilot by the time I got down to the tennis courts. Several people were already there, a few girls around my age and an older couple. The girls played at the first set of courts, and I studied my phone, waiting to hear something from my mom.
Mom: Baby, it’s going to take a little longer than anticipated for me to come down. Why don’t you see if someone needs a player for doubles or something?