by Eden O'Neill
Chapter Twenty-One
Cleo
“So let me get this straight.” Kit’s eyebrows jumped. “You slept with your stepbrother… again?”
Kit’s words were definitely an understatement. I hadn’t just slept with my stepbrother. We’d had over twelve hours of all-consuming, mind-alternating sex, which hadn’t lasted the entire night. Obviously, we had to sleep, but what we did again and again and again this morning made up for those hours.
I’d feel ashamed if I didn’t want to do it so badly again. Jaxen Brett Ambrose was addictive. I’d never made love before him, and needless to say, he was an excellent instructor. He knew how to do things with my body that were just maddening and beyond toe-curling.
I palmed my face, actually in my friend’s face with all this. I’d come by to get coffee at the Bean Brewery mostly to see her and tell her everything that had gone down last night and this morning. I obviously hadn’t gotten to last night. Besides being, erm, um, busy, Kit hadn’t come home since she had two jobs. After her shift at the Brewery, she’d gone to her late night job bartending job. She was back at the Brewery until mid-morning today, which wasn’t uncommon for her since she paid her own way through school. There were many weekends I didn’t see her at all since she tended to do such close shifts on the bar’s busy nights like yesterday. She definitely would be sleeping this afternoon when she got home so I needed to tell her all this stuff now.
Chewing my lip, I nodded, tapping my coffee cup. “I know. Like WTF, right? I don’t know what my problem is.”
I did. My stepbrother was hot as hell, and I had a weakness for him. I still didn’t know why.
“I need to hate you.”
But he didn’t, and I told Kit that too. She’d been floored, but I didn’t think because the statement held truth or not. It was because Jaxen had actually admitted that fact to me. That he wanted to hate me, but didn’t necessarily feel that way. It left a lot of open questions about him, and he hadn’t wanted to talk about them last night.
He was too busy making my toes curl.
Kit was on her break now and had been on break for the past forty-five minutes. She said she’d combine her first break and the time they gave them for breakfast, so she wasn’t too worried. Currently, she was very much not eating her scone and looking at me. She ripped down blond curls. “I don’t know whether to say you’re crazy or just…”
“Crazy is good, yeah,” I said, chuckling. I groaned. “I don’t know why I did it. I don’t know why he did it.”
We were both all kinds of messy and completely screwed up.
I lifted my eyes. “And he’s my stepbrother.”
“Newsflash, chick. Your stepbrother is hot and charming when he wants to be. And oh, yeah. Hot.” She started to laugh, then paused. “But it’s totally not like that now. I mean, I know what happened between him and me, but ugh, no. Not now. Not after you guys and all…”
I knew what she meant so I waved it off, most certainly saving her from her own misery. Her face had shot up like a million degrees in color.
She chuckled. “You got it bad for him, and clearly, he’s got a thing for you as much as it grates him. I mean, he actually said he wanted to hate you?”
I nodded, and Kit tilted her head.
“Dude’s obviously plagued with something. Doesn’t want to be into you even though he is. But it’s like, what are you supposed to do with that?”
I had no answers, silent. “The guy’s a vault. Like literally. I asked, but no dice.”
“Could be about your dad and all that. Like you said.”
I had said, but still, we didn’t know. Jaxen Ambrose was confusing as hell, confusing me.
She pressed her coffee to her lips. “You two need to hash this out.”
I agreed, but my attention shifted at the buzz of a text message.
Jax: This or that?
Jax’s text followed with two pictures of him sporting different blazers. The first was hunter green, dark and complemented his lightly colored eyes. The other was black and sat so smoothly on his hard body it popped every bump and swell of his muscular arms. Each option, though, hugged his stocky frame like sin as both jackets narrowed in tight at his thick waist. I started to text him back, but then my phone buzzed with a call.
It was him.
“Oh my god. He’s calling me.” I mean, did guys even call still anymore? Completely floored, I waved my hands. “What should I do?”
“Well, I know what I’m going to do,” Kit said, picking up her half eaten scone and coffee. “I’m going to get my ass back to work before I’m fired, and you’re going to figure this crap out with your hot-as-fuck, but crazier-than-shit stepbrother. Let me know how it goes.”
No help from her. At all, as she chuckled off with her stuff. I watched her toss her garbage away before taking a breath, tucking back my hair, then answering my phone.
“Bummer.”
I frowned. “What?”
A deep sigh into the phone. “I was hoping for your voicemail.”
“Why?”
He chuckled. “Because I only kinda sorta actually needed to talk to you.”
Trying to figure out if I should smile or not, I rubbed my neck. “Kinda sorta?”
Another sigh. “Yeah. I wanted your opinion on the text. Should have waited for your opinion on the text. But… I called you.”
I chewed my lip a little. “Why?”
“Fuck, I don’t know, Girl Scout. I wanted to talk to you. Shit. I’m regretting it now.”
“Don’t. Don’t. I’m…” Oh my God. “I’m happy you called. I wanted to talk to you too.”
“You do? You are?” True and honest to God shock in his voice. “About what?”
“I don’t know, Brett,” I joked, using his alias. “Shit. I just wanted to talk to you.”
It sounded as funny coming out of my mouth as I was sure it was to him on his end. He laughed, the deep timber fading into the line. “All right. Shit.”
“Shit.” Okay, now I really couldn’t help my smile.
Are we really doing this right now?
Because we were. He called me because he wanted to talk to me, and I answered because I wanted to talk to him.
I mean, who were we right now?
Obviously, a pack of crazy folks. I messed with my hair, still too long when my fingers got caught. I wore it down because, after I finally left Jax’s bed, I got in the shower, then headed right off toward the coffeehouse. Jax had left prior to that. He’d decided to take his own shower at his new place since he wanted to get his stuff over there. Still, before he’d left, he wasn’t shy about telling me we’d rain check a shower together in the immediate future.
Good God. Yes, my stepbrother and I were a couple of crazy folks.
Honestly, I didn’t know what my mom or adoptive father would feel about me taking up any sort of anything with him. But for all I knew, this wasn’t anything. Jaxen was so hot and cold.
“And you know it’s not Brett,” he said into the line. “Jax is fine. That’s what everyone else calls me. My friends.”
“What about Jaxen then?”
“My mothers… when they’re mad at me.”
“Jaxen it is then.” I snickered. “I don’t want to call you what everyone else calls you.”
A growl in his voice. “I guess you can have that one, Girl Scout.”
He said this, but he didn’t sound angry. If anything, there was laughter in his voice.
And he called me Girl Scout again.
Really, that should get under my skin, but I was beyond caring that not only did it not bother me, but played with me in a way that danced in my tummy.
I drew invisible circles within the grain of the coffee table. “So what did you really want to talk to me about? Those blazers or…”
“Yeah. Right.” Like he forgot too, he moved around wherever he was. “I’m trying them on, but I’m not sure which one. You’re a girl so you know shit like this. I think I’ve gotten
too used to shorts and flip-flops.”
Yeah, and he looked like Hades himself had decided to walk the earth in a beautiful man suit rocking them. It was really ridiculous how pretty my stepbrother was and even worse when he did dress down to nothing but beachwear.
I thought guys in suits looked good.
Casual, or just fucked, I’d seen Jax dressed down as well as he could be. I hadn’t seen him in a suit yet, but I had a feeling I’d be nowhere close to disappointed.
“What do you think?” he asked, gratefully focusing my attention. “Green or black? You need to look at the photo again?”
I didn’t. I was well aware of how heavenly he looked in both, but I did, playing along. I smiled at both pictures. “What are they for?”
“Eh, uh. Royal. You remember him from the weekend?”
Um, yeah. He’d been the one giving all those intense stares. Anyone could tell the guys all looked up to him. He moved, and they did too. “I do. But for him?’
“Well, not for him. Per se. It’s for me. His bachelor party is coming up so I’m trying to figure out what to wear.”
Oh, yeah. December had mentioned she and Royal were engaged. I nodded, though he couldn’t see. “I’d go with the black then. I like the way the green one hits your eyes, but the black is just…” Perfect? Ridiculous hot? I scrubbed into my hair. “Better.”
“Better?”
“Yes, just better.” My face hot from my own thoughts, I rubbed my cheek. “Yes. Go with the black. It is better.”
“Black it is then. Oh, and uh, thanks for the pretty eye compliment.” Laughter on the end there, and I totally didn’t say that.
Even though it was true.
I grinned, but rolled my eyes. “Whatever.”
I got his chuckle in response, which I loved more than I definitely should. It literally shot goosebumps over my arms. I shook my head. “When is his bachelor party?”
“Next weekend actually. The guys are all coming back down here because, you know, Miami?” Another laugh. “It’s also the only other weekend we could nail down to make the time. We could have done it last weekend, but…”
He didn’t need to say anything about that. He and my adoptive father were supposed to be spending the time together, but things had gone sour.
Silence between the pair of us, and I was ninety percent sure Jaxen was mulling over the same thoughts. There was a lot unspoken there, a lot that needed to be said. I mean, Kit was right. We needed to talk about some stuff.
“Anyway, December’s party is going to be down here too,” he ended up saying, and I was grateful he’d moved the conversation on for now. Especially when he mentioned his friend since I liked her. A smile in his voice. “They’re going to be separate events, but she told me to invite you too if you’re free.”
Floored beyond belief. Mostly because we’d gone from what we were talking about… that more than tense weekend to this.
He’d spoken to his friends about me. His friends that he obviously cared about. I’d seen that, how much they did care about each other, and not only had he spoken with them, he wanted me to hang with them more.
If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have said anything about the invite.
No words on my end, a harsh breath into the line on his.
“But no pressure, you know,” he started, nerves in his deep voice I hadn’t heard before. “You’re probably busy so—”
“No, I’m not. I mean…” Stumbling over my words, I fought to get them back. “I mean, I’d love to go. Which day?”
“Uh, Saturday. Should be a good time. You all seemed to have gotten along.”
We really had, and that’d be perfect. I smiled. “That’s actually perfect timing. I’ll already be home Friday for Dad’s birthday and can just drive over…”
I stopped myself.
But not soon enough.
Definitely silence on the line, almost eerily. I only made it worse because I had stopped in the middle of a sentence.
Dammit.
I wasn’t sure if I should mention anything about my adoptive father, let alone his birthday. They’d had some tension that weekend, a lot, and that’d been before Jax had fooled around with his near drowning. Dad had gone into the hall, and they’d been out there a long time. When he came back in, clearly my adoptive father had been heated.
Since I already had spoken the words about his birthday, though, I needed to finish the thought.
“It’s, um, Friday.” I cleared my throat. “His birthday. We usually do a thing.”
Making this worse, Cleo.
How did I know? Because I could hear a pin drop on the other side of the line. I actually checked to see if he was still on the call.
I cleared my throat again. “It’s not a huge thing, but it’s Friday.”
Did he know?
Did he care?
That was something I didn’t know, and it was no news to me that he and Rick had something going on. A big something that was bothering both of them. I’d seen that in spades last weekend.
Only more questions.
I wanted to ask Jax about them, but this wasn’t the time and…
He’d finally been starting to open up.
He was sharing himself, sharing with me.
“Jax?” I prompted. “You still there?”
“I am.”
A grit to his voice, confirming none of this awkwardness was in my head. I didn’t know what he’d do next. If he’d go off and revoke his invitation to hang with his friends or what, but I did know one thing.
I didn’t want him to leave.
In more than one way, I didn’t want him to return those walls that weren’t down by any means but at least could finally be touched without a burn. I wanted him to stay and not run from me.
“You should go on Friday,” I said, trying. “I mean, it’ll be a good time. Always is, and I want you there.”
I couldn’t speak for my dad, but I was sure he felt the same. I saw how he was when Jax had arrived. He wanted to be around for him.
He wanted him.
Easy to see when my adoptive father looked at him.
Jax still didn’t say anything, and even though I wanted to push, I didn’t. Pushing didn’t seem to be good with him.
“I’ll, uh… I’ll consider it,” he said, but it didn’t sound like he would at all. A clear discomfort in his voice when he cleared his own throat. “Anyway, thanks for the advice. About the blazer. I’ll do the black.”
Fuck.
“So, uh, Saturday,” he said. “I’ll give December your number. She’ll contact you.”
I started to open my mouth, but he was telling me he had to go. I couldn’t remember what he used as an excuse.
I was still reeling about what he didn’t say.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Cleo
Jax’s appearance was fleeting over the next few days. I mean, I saw him, but usually, it was only in the evenings. He’d come sneaking into my dorm room after the place was dark and both Kit and I had turned in for bed. He’d moved out, officially, but still came and went as he pleased.
It was obviously just to see me.
He’d make it into my bed, and well, there was no more talking. We didn’t talk, not at all really, and outside of a few WYD text messages here and there, the only vocalizations between us were me moaning or him groaning. He didn’t seem to want to talk about anything else until he was making me come. Even then, he didn’t tend to stay long. He was usually gone the next morning before the house woke up, but did always send me text messages. He’d let me know where he was headed or what classes were giving him hell.
Basically, nothing personal.
I knew exactly what he was doing, avoiding me and our conversation about Dad’s birthday party, and as the days ticked down and Friday came around, I didn’t even bother pushing him about it. He’d expressed no interest in coming.
I sent a text anyway.
Me: About to head out of town. Head home.
I told him I’d drive down to December’s bachelorette party directly from there. My parents lived close to Miami so that made sense. Their house was only a few miles away from the beach unlike the more than an hour away from Bay Cove’s campus.
Jax: So I’ll meet you in Miami then? I’ll get a room for us. We can chill there after we’re both done.
That was all I got, my answer right there. He wasn’t going back with me to our parents’ house. He was choosing to stay on campus, then drive separately for his friend’s bash.
Me: Yup. I’ll see you.
Jax: Drive safe.
So drive safe I did, heading out after my final class of the day. I called my parents before I left first just so they knew I was coming and could look out for me.
The drive was incredibly silent and completely different than how it’d been on the way down. How ironic that day and time felt so far away now.
So much had changed.
I really didn’t know what was up with Jax and my adoptive dad. I’d speculated stuff in the past, but none of it could be confirmed or denied. I just knew, whatever was, had been bad enough to bother both of them at different points.
And for my stepbrother to hate me before he even knew me.
I’d assumed before that, maybe, Jax had been in the middle of a messy divorce. I mean, my biological dad’s and my mom’s hadn’t been great. Parents separating would be hard for anyone. I, personally, had held bitterness for a long time when my dad had left our family.
Again, I didn’t know, and it wasn’t like Mom and Rick had ever given me any indicator that anything was wrong back then. I had just been told not to ask about Jax, that he was staying with his mom, and that was it. Thinking back, I do think Mom and my adoptive father had kept a lot from me about his previous family. I mean, I’d been in a fragile state myself considering everything with Nathan. It’d been fresh for years and long after my little brother had gone.
I was in the dark about virtually anything beyond my own worries.
“Oh, baby. She’s here. She’s here.”
I laughed upon coming into the doorway of the suburban home, and my mom basically launched herself at me in the entryway.