by Kenna Bardot
"Chett loves you and understands how much this means to you." I looked around, realizing the big God was not there. "Speaking of which, where is he?"
As if on cue, a knock sounded at the door and Chett poked his head in. "Hi, ladies. Are we ready to go? Wouldn't want to be late for Haisley's induction ceremony."
I smiled as Haisley bounced up and down on her toes. I wrapped an arm around her, to move her along but also to stop the bouncing, which was already making me sick. "I think we're ready, Chett. Your wife is about ready to combust."
There was a different time for me to tell her I was pregnant. Everything was happy enough.
✽✽✽
My gaze locked on the way the bloodstone in Zeevar's hand glinted in the light shining from the torches. Fresh and unblemished, just as Haisley's journey with her dragon still was in that moment. Another new dragon so close to mine. A miracle when dragon babies were rare.
But it was also a way the fates steadied the balance. With the untimely death of two young dragons, it made sense there would be two new. Nobody knew that. Not until Zeevar had said so, and I watched the tiniest of tears roll down his cheek.
One blink and I could almost convince myself it had been a trick of the light.
As with my ceremony, Corban pulled out a knife and slashed into Haisley’s dragon, just like he had done to Hydra before. It was surreal, watching it happen for the first time. As he roared, no one else made a sound in the entire clearing. Even the wind quieted down.
With wide eyes, Haisley held out her hand to allow the knife to slash across her palm, and blood dripped down to the stone. The coppery scent reached my nose, as improbable as that might have been, and I took a step backward because the sharpness of it made me feel sick.
I stepped on a foot and looked up to see Patrick giving me a weird look as I bumped against him. I whispered an apology. He shrugged and gestured to the front.
"To complete your bond, you must name your dragon," Zeevar declared, and Haisley took a deep breath before she threw her dragon a smile. "Furor. I name him Furor."
Zeevar nodded and the stone split into two halves, one into the circlet that wound around Haisley's forehead and the other embedding into Furor's scales. "Two halves of one whole, a light and miracle in these bleak times." Zeevar nodded, and a light exploded to wrap around Haisley. I raised an arm to keep it from blinding me as I heard Zeevar's voice echo, "You are bound as one. One life. One being. One soul."
Hearing the words, I looked down at Hydra. Being bound to her was one of the most frightening and beautiful moments in my entire life. I could perfectly relate to what Haisley felt in that moment, and I knew there was no one who deserved it more than she did.
The light faded out, and the induction ceremony ended. Haisley rushed towards Chett, who picked her up off her feet. He touched her circlet reverently, and Haisley bent forward so her bloodstone touched his before their lips met in a kiss.
The tenderness of the scene made me ache to see my men. I needed to be home where I could be with them. Maybe they could help me settle the feelings of uncertainty I had over being a proper mother when they made me feel so loved. Even though it made me feel weak that I felt that way.
I gave Patrick a cautious look. "Time to head home. My men know I'm going to be late, but they must be frantic nonetheless." He nodded, and we walked out of the clearing and towards the Springen Express.
"Mireyah!" I spun around at the shout to see Haisley running after me. I stopped to allow her to catch up. "Are you leaving already?"
"My Sires are waiting for me," I explained as guilt stabbed through me. I was a terrible friend to leave so soon and not celebrate with her. I knew she would understand, she was nice and patient enough that I knew she would, but it did not make me feel any less guilty or troubled.
"Ah, yeah. But they've been told you're here, right? They can't possibly be worried that you're missing or something. Stay a little, I can't settle and Chett has to rush off and do something for his duties." She bounced on her feet and every ten seconds, her hands would creep up to touch the gem on her forehead or for a quick stroke over Furor's head.
"So I'm just your second choice," I teased, although I knew that wasn't what she meant. I figured keeping her company for half an hour was the least I could do. Even if walking on my tired feet felt like walking on nails.
"No just about it, Mireyah. I've missed you. We barely see each other outside of meals, and I miss you and Hydra." She reached up and Furor walked down to be held in her arms.
“I missed you too, Haisley. And I’m sure our two dragons will enjoy growing up together.”
“Yes, they will. First time in recent memory that two dragons were born so close together that it's possible. But now that I have him…” she trailed off as she wrapped her hands around Furor. “I have a better understanding of things I only imagined before but couldn’t really comprehend.”
"What do you understand?" I was mesmerized by the swirling bloodstone in Furor. In the dim light of the moon, it looked like it was alive. The newness of it, the freshness.
"I thought I understood the bond between dragon and handler. Zeevar says the words, right? Two halves of one whole. So in my limited capacity, I thought I understood because it seemed so simple. But now that I have this connection, I realize how wrong I was. I would do anything for Furor, and I know he would do anything for me." Just as she had done with Chett, she touched her forehead to Furor's and it hurt to see.
Because I felt the same for Hydra, and I didn't even know if I could be the same for the child that was now growing inside me. And he or she deserved nothing less than a mother who loved her with everything she was.
Was that possible when I was half a soul?
"Whatever emptiness I'd felt even just an hour before has now completely gone, because it's full of all the emotions and fears I feel inside me for Furor." She sighed and shot me a huge smile, which faded after she stared at me for a few moments. "What's wrong, Mireyah?"
I shook my head even though I felt a powerful urge to cry. "Who told you anything was wrong?"
She shot me an angry look. You aren’t just tired, are you? Something's up and I've been so centered on myself and what's happened to me that I've been too blind to see it."
"I-" I spun around to look at Patrick, who winked while he talked to the guard protecting Haisley. I didn’t really mind Patrick knowing what I had to say, but I didn’t really know the Guard who was assigned to Haisley just yet.
She rolled her eyes and expelled an exasperated breath, spinning around as I did. "Gentlemen, a little privacy, perhaps? I was hoping to talk to my good friend."
The two exchanged looks before nodding. "Okay, Haisley," Patrick agreed, and they walked backwards to be out of earshot yet still keep us in view. Haisley spun towards me, hands on hips, "Well?"
"Just issues," I stopped and wondered what kept me from saying it. Wondered why I could not say it. Not just to Haisley, but anytime I'd had to say it had been difficult. "I- I found something out last week." I took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."
Her eyes widened, and she squealed before slapping a hand over her mouth. She leaned forward and whispered, "You're sure, right?"
"Yes. The Valen leaf confirmed it and then so did Jas," I said with a tiny laugh. "The guys are absolutely thrilled."
She nodded and peered at me closely. "And I hear exactly what you're not saying. Your men are happy and you're not." She looked down at Hydra and shook her head after sharing a moment of apparently being disappointed in both of us.
"I'm just scared that I won't be a good mother, and I want to be so desperately." I rubbed a hand over my stomach and felt the bone deep fear that was already so familiar.
"Mireyah, there's nothing you haven't done for Hydra and if the love I feel for Furor is even just a fraction of the love you feel for her, I know you have a great capacity for it. How could you love and care for a child borne of you any less?" She shook her head and gave me a laugh, l
ike I'd asked a stupid question rather than what I saw as genuine fears.
"But what if my love for Hydra means I can't love or care for anything else in that way?" I laid a hand on Hydra's head, giving her that small connection because I might hurt her with my sentiments. I needed her to know that I didn’t fault her, that it was just my concern for my child. She nuzzled into it, understanding so completely that I could almost be ashamed for having such human frailties as being uncertain.
"Why does it have to be an either-or?" She held up a hand to stop me when I opened my mouth to speak. "You have five Sires and you speak to the fact that you love them with your entire heart. Does your love for one of them differ from the others? Can you name a favorite?"
I threw her an insulted look. "Of course not. They are all my Sires, and I love them all."
"Then there's your answer. In Hydra, you have proven that you can love someone with your entire heart as a mother, for what else could you be but her mother? And in your Sires, you have shown that you are capable of unconditional love for more than one person." She nodded and gave me a gentle poke on the shoulder. "Now, I know that being pregnant is not a condition or a disease, but I've been having you walk this much, this far, so it's about time you got home."
I looked down at Hydra and her love and sadness crashed inside me, making me realize just how much unnecessary stress I had been giving myself when all I needed was to trust. Trust in me, my dragon, my Five. I touched my face and realized I had wet cheeks. I reached down to give her a hug. "Thanks, Haisley. I hate you for making so much sense and making me feel like an idiot."
She touched a hand to my cheeks and wiped my tears away. "Then don't be stupid."
I won't. No, in fact I would celebrate in the way I should have when I first found out we were having a child.
Thirty-One
Mireyah
“Nice house, Mireyah,” Patrick observed as he walked me home. I looked at what he first saw. The big gleaming windows, a massive chimney, luscious gardens and the most recent addition of Hydra’s own oversized room.
“Thanks, it suits us.” I rubbed a hand over my belly, an action I did now and again. I wasn’t showing, but I could feel the content and blinding joy I had for the life I’d created, the life I now carried.
“It’s a good place to raise a child, that’s for sure.” Startled, I turned to face him, putting my hands on my hips and sighing. “Zeevar, does everyone know?”
“No. I just heard you and Jas talking.” I gave him a hard stare, and he just shrugged. “You two don’t whisper to each other or anything. It wasn’t hard to hear.”
I shrugged. “I guess that’s right. Have you told anyone else?” I cleared my throat because besides Jas and Haisley, I had told no one else in the Dragon Guard. I just didn’t know when the best time to do so would be. It scared me it might affect my training for the Unwanted.
“Julian and I have talked about it, but he heard you talking about it too. Kind of the thing when you have guards, Mireyah. They spend time around you.” He laughed, and I shook my head because he was right. As annoying as it might have been, I couldn’t blame them for doing their duty.
“So, why did you want to go home, anyway? Don’t you have a trip to the Unwanted with Zephyr later?”
I gestured him into the house as I was antsy to get started. “I wanted to cook a meal for the men and maybe rest for a while.”
“Okay, I can just wait and then walk you back.” I shook my head. “No, no. The way they’d react when they see you here and me alone with you?” I shuddered. “Strong independent woman and all that but jealous husbands.”
“But I have to keep you safe.”
I laughed. “I will be in this house with the door locked until one of them comes home. I’ll be sure to have whosoever of them walk me to the Station where you or Julian are free to pick me up.”
“But…”
“Patrick, you’re tired. Go home. Take a nap. This is an unnecessary waste of your time and energy. Besides, didn’t your shift end ten minutes ago?” I stole a glance at the clock.
“It did, but I’d feel horrible leaving you alone.”
Patrick!” I put my hands on my hips. “You’re starting to sound like your boss. I’ll be fine. One of the guys will be home in a couple hours, but you have my word that I’m staying put until they do. Okay?”
“Fine, okay.” He walked out the front door, but before I could close the door in his face, stopped it. “Lock the door the moment I leave.”
He stepped out, and I closed the door, making a show of locking it. He tried to turn the knob. When it didn’t budge, he turned and strode for the start of the path to the station, looking back to check on me once more. I waved at him through the glass on the front door, waiting until he finally left.
I looked down at Hydra. “I thought he would never leave. Imagine if one of the men came home, and he was still here. That would be fun.” I knew the men trusted me, but if I could avoid situations where I would piss them off, then I would.
I walked back into the kitchen and thought about what could make for a dinner that could keep for hours. Remembering the promise I just gave Patrick to stay inside the house, I cursed myself since I really wanted to pick some vegetables from the garden.
Thankfully, Hollis had picked some the day before, which I saw when I checked inside the attached pantry. "Maybe a stew. Something nice and simple," I muttered to myself as I reached up to take a big stew pot.
"Hydra?" I called out, cursing in my head as I heard the flap in the side door sound. Ryle had outdone himself when he completed construction on the new part of the house he called Hydra’s haven. And Hydra agreed, since she loved to spend her time there more than anything.
“Hydra? We have a deal. No going out when there’s none of us to watch you.” Given her history of injuring herself, it was a precaution that I felt was necessary rather than being overprotective.
Was it breaking my promise to Patrick if I went to the extension? Truth be told, I didn’t give a crap. Not when it involved making sure my baby was safe. I would do anything to keep my baby safe. Both or any of them.
I took one step, cursing my humanity for affecting my ability to carry a baby to term with the same ease as natural-born Goddesses. Pain bloomed up my leg, causing a constricting pain in my chest. I cursed because Jas's potions were in my satchel, which was in the other room where I had dropped them when Patrick had dropped me off.
I panted through my mouth, short little gasping breaths as I struggled to make sure my connection with Hydra was still strong. I needed to make sure everything was okay with her, even when I couldn’t see her. For a moment, I regretted sending Patrick away. He could have helped me get to my medicine.
Hydra still hadn’t come, and I found it hard to believe that I was experiencing any of my pregnancy pains and she wouldn’t be there immediately after. Any time I was too weak to do things for myself, she would always be there to help since she felt them along with me.
Pushing the door to the extension, I practically dragged my feet and called out weakly, "Hydra?" I fell to my knees and crawled around. Because I heard nothing and saw nothing. As the pain reached a crescendo, that’s when I noticed the panic and the fear and the realization came, cold and painful, that I had been wrong.
So wrong.
With a surge of adrenaline, I lurched to my feet and rushed outside. Promise or no promise, my Hydra was my priority. I saw the scales first, broken off from her wings and body and stained with thick blood.
The grass was trampled, and there were scratch and drag marks.
But no Hydra.
I called out to her again, touching my hand to the stone on my forehead because I’d been told it helped to strengthen a connection made weak by distance. I’d never had to test it before - even the basic exam hadn’t felt like it had been too far to warrant it.
I got a burst of despair, a call for help. A call for me when I touched it, and I had to take my hand off s
o I could breathe. I tried to call her, to ask her what happened and where she was so I could help her.
But all I got were vague impressions and shadowy figures. I cursed because I should have worked harder, practiced more so we would have a stronger connection. And if something happened to her, it would be my fault.
I shouldn’t have sent Patrick away.
A keening sound echoed in my ear as the desperate need to break free from what had captured her engulfed her.
I felt the desperate urge to faint but shook it off because one word echoed in my head.
Hydra.
I let instinct take over me as I examined every inch of my property for clues. I snapped my head to the trees at the edge of the property. Hydra's scent, the pulse of who and what she was, lingered in every fiber of those woods. Before I even had time to process what was coming, before I could rethink the smartest way to handle the situation, I bolted into them.
Every step I took was a sink further into the animal within me. She was me and I was her and there was nothing more important in my mind than to reunite our two halves into a whole. Hydra's pain was my pain. My back throbbed with every step, racing through the woods on bare feet. I should have kept the boots on, but I hardly felt the way the forest floor ripped at them.
Sticks. Dried leaves. Creatures that slithered around in the underbrush next to me. Nothing stopped me from moving forward.
Nothing could compare to Hydra's pain.
She called, a beacon that unerringly guided me, and I ran. Following the trail of her, the connection she and I shared through the endless, pathless forest. My heart throbbed in my chest, unsteady and pounding like the drums before a trial. The sound echoed in my head, drowning out all the noise but for the sound of me whipping through the trees and my own heaving breaths.