by L. A. MARIE
“What about your mother?” Emori asked.
I pulled my lips up in a snarl at her. She jolted, surprised.
“I’m sorry,” she said, holding her hands up. “But if I’m hitting a nerve you can just say so, you don’t have to act like an animal.”
I didn’t agree with her. I could act however the fuck I liked.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. And dammit, the way she said it made me feel bad. The sooner I could get rid of this human, the better. She made me feel all sorts of shit that I wasn’t interested in feeling.
“She died when I was young,” I said flatly.
“I’m sorry,” she said again, but this time it wasn’t an apology. Condolences instead. “I lost my parents a few years ago, too. I understand your pain.”
“Don’t presume to think that you know me,” I snapped.
She nodded and turned her face to the large windshield in front of us. I looked out at the space that surrounded us and wished that we could get the hell out of this Milky Way faster so that I could make the jump to my own galaxy.
“You know, my sister and I used to stick together no matter what,” she continued.
I groaned and rolled my eyes. “Do you ever stop talking?”
“What else do you think we should do to pass the time?”
“I was happy doing this alone,” I pointed out.
She pulled up her shoulders as if my opinion didn’t matter… and continued talking.
“Naira is almost eight years younger than I am, but she’s been my best friend for the longest time. I remember when she was born. I was almost eight and my parents had been telling me about my sister that would arrive for months. Lena was there, and our whole community had surrounded our house to welcome Naira into the world.”
I didn’t want to hear it anymore. I didn’t want to know about her family, I didn’t want to know how happy she had been once, I didn’t want to know any of it! She made me miss things I’d never had.
But I liked the sound of her voice. It was melodious and soothing. It was beautiful to listen to. And there was so much love and affection caught up in her words. I hadn’t known that words could hold anything other than contempt. My dad hadn’t used any other tone with me. Most people who came into contact with me either hated me or feared me.
Emori talked to me like I was someone she could confide in. And I had done nothing to deserve it, I had only been a dick to her from the moment we’d met.
I would have to get rid of her as soon as I arrived on Nolmilea. I couldn’t even think about what it would mean to keep her around, she was just going to make me get in touch with my feelings again.
And that was dangerous.
But I found that I was glad I would only have to do it then. I would have a bit of time with her until then. Killing her in cold blood while we were on the ship was less and less of an option.
After all, I told myself, her body wouldn’t fit into the trash chute on board, and I didn’t want to sit with it until we arrived. That was the reason I was keeping her alive, I tried to convince myself.
At some point, she fell quiet. When I glanced at her, she sat with her eyes closed and she had a worried expression on her face. I wanted to know what she was thinking about, but I didn’t want to ask. I didn’t care, I didn’t care, I didn’t care.
She looked much older than she should when she was worried like that. But her skin was smooth, and her lips were perfect and I wondered what it would be like to kiss her again. To do more – to touch her, taste her, fuck her. I had felt a certain heat when we had been pressed up against each other and I was curious.
I wanted more. Dammit, I shouldn’t have, but I wanted more.
I stood to find food after a while. Space was quiet and I was hungry. Sitting behind the controls all the time made me bored and cranky. And I was just going to drive myself crazy if I kept thinking about what it would be like to be with her.
When I moved, she looked up at me.
“I’m getting food,” I said gruffly. “You should eat.”
She nodded and stood, following me to the kitchenette. I took food out, just for myself. I let her do her part. I wouldn’t be the one to take care of her. That wasn’t me.
After warming my own food, I watched her move around, getting ready to warm hers. She carried herself with grace and dignity, and it was hot as hell.
I couldn’t stop myself anymore.
With two long strides, I closed the distance between us and grabbed her behind the neck. I kissed her. Hard.
She froze for a moment before she closed her eyes and kissed me back.
Gods, I wanted more. My dick grew in my pants, getting rock hard, ready for me to fuck her. I pushed myself up against her, letting her feel me. I didn’t know if she wanted what I wanted, but I wanted it bad.
For a moment, something serious sparked between us and her breath caught in her throat.
She slid her hands onto my chest, and I shivered under her touch.
And she pushed me away. Confusion filled her face and she rolled her lips, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment before she turned around and walked away from me.
My body was pumped, the need for her driving me crazy. I was hyperaware of everything around me. I scrubbed my face with my hands and let out a shaky breath.
Fuck, this woman was going to be the end of me if I wasn’t careful. I needed to get my shit straight when it came to her, I needed to decide what it was that I wanted.
I was going to get rid of her, that was for certain. I couldn’t keep her around or everything was going to change, and I wasn’t going to start compromising who I was.
But fuck, I wanted her so badly. And no matter how much I wanted to hate her – she was still just a shitty human, after all – I was drawn to her.
I let out a groan of frustration and walked to the hydrator where her food lay on the counter. She’d dropped the packet when I’d grabbed her and kissed her.
I threw the food into the machine, got the damn plate and marched across the ship. I threw her plate down roughly before her.
“Eat,” I commanded. Because fuck if I was going to be the person who had her starving. I skulked away again toward the controls and monitors where I would keep myself busy trying to get to the jump spot as quickly as possible.
“Thank you,” she called after me, meekly.
I didn’t grace her with an answer.
Chapter Fourteen
Emori
There was something about Thane – something I couldn’t put my finger on – that drove me crazy. He wouldn’t stop kissing me.
Okay, so it had only happened twice. But both times, I had felt an incredible surge of something powerful washing through me, a wave of need so strong I could barely think straight. All I wanted was for him to touch me all over, to kiss me more, and to fuck me.
And there was no way in hell I was letting an alien do that to me. Especially not this one, who seemed to have a grudge against the whole world, no, the whole universe. I didn’t think there was a single living being more resentful and bitter than this guy.
And I was not getting involved with that. I hated him. Hated him. And hate wasn’t a word I took lightly. My mom had always taught me that what you put out into the world was going to come back at you at some point. But for this one, I was willing to take my chances.
And still, there was something about him that made me feel… affection. Hell, that couldn’t be right, could it? He was the worst kind of Malakus I had ever seen. And he took liberties with me that I wasn’t interested in. Kissing me like that had been wrong, out of place, inappropriate.
I didn’t want to think about the fact that it had also been toe-curling delicious and that it had made me want more. I didn’t want to admit that along with all the loathing I felt toward him, there was also a very healthy – or unhealthy – dose of lust that accompanied it.
It irritated me that I felt that way about it. I didn’t want to like him at all. I wanted
to hate him as much as I could. He was keeping me from my sister, essentially keeping me hostage. This was a damn kidnapping situation, for crying out loud! I didn’t want to like anything about this… thing.
And I wasn’t going to let him keep doing this to me. I wasn’t going to allow him to just march up and kiss me whenever he felt like it. Especially not if he was going to make it seem like some kind of punishment at the same time. And then get angry when I refused him.
Seriously, the guy was a conundrum. One that I had no intention of figuring out.
I was going to put my foot down, right now. So that he knew where we stood. Confronting him wasn’t going to be easy, though – he was tall and strong, and he had that Noether in his chest that did… something. I didn’t know what, but I knew that he was incredibly strong. Intimidating. But I couldn’t let him get the better of me. And I couldn’t let him realize I was scared of him.
Show no fear.
Thane sat behind the control in the ship again, a scowl on his face, watching the monitors. There were no ships around us, and we were headed toward the jump spot. He should have been happy about it. But it was almost as if he wanted them to come after us, as if he was itching for a fight.
He took pleasure in hurting others, didn’t he?
All the more reason for me to despise him.
I scraped my courage together, puffed up my chest, and marched across the large space in that ship that stretched between the kitchenette and other rooms to the cockpit. When I reached him, he glanced up at me, a combination of boredom and irritation on his face.
I could never read his Malakus expressions.
“You listen to me,” I said, and my voice sounded a lot more confident than I felt.
Point for me.
Thane raised his eyebrows.
“I don’t know who you think you are, kissing me whenever you feel like it, but it’s not done, and I want you to stop.”
He looked incredulous for a moment.
“What?” he asked.
“You heard me,” I said. “You better keep your distance.”
A smile spread slowly over his face. “Or what?”
Oh, shit. He wanted a threat of some kind. What the hell was I going to do if he decided that he just wanted to do whatever he chose to do, despite my speech? He was stronger than me, albeit slower.
But this was bullshit. I was getting angry with this SOB who thought he could do whatever he wanted.
“I shouldn’t have to give you a consequence,” I snapped. “When I say you don’t do something, you don’t do it. As simple as that.”
Thane chuckled. “On what grounds?”
I gasped. I couldn’t believe he didn’t even think I had rights. Everyone had basic rights, that had to be true across the universe… didn’t it?
Dammit, this conversation was harder than I’d thought it would be. I had thought he was going to get angry with me, I’d prepared myself for a fight. I hadn’t been prepared for his arrogant attitude, his cocky grin, the fact that he took none of this serious.
Anger blazed through me, dancing hot on my skin. I balled my hands into fists. Thane saw my response and something in him shifted. I couldn’t quite tell what it was, but the atmosphere around us charged with heat. Angry heat. Fury and rage.
Good, I understood it. Anger was my friend. It made me more alert. If I had to fight, I could think straight. I was used to having to defend myself. I wasn’t very good at talking myself out of a situation, but I could use my fists just fine.
Ironic that my life had turned out this way, when my mom had always told me that it was unnecessary to use my fists when a kind word would do.
Well, Thane was too rough around the edges to understand kind words. He was too ridiculous, too uncaring, too…. fucked up.
“You don’t get to diminish my worth,” I half-shouted at him. “You don’t get to decide that you’re better than me just because you think so. I have worth and deserve to be respected. You’re a selfish, chauvinistic son of a bitch who looks for trouble for fun and probably kills for sport and I can’t stand the fact that I’m stranded in space with you!”
The words had tumbled out of my mouth without my being able to stop it. It surprised me. Thane looked caught off guard, too. Which was a surprise from the usual arrogant expression on his face. He frowned, a strange look of sorrow appearing on his features, and guilt suddenly tugged at my gut.
Had I hurt his feelings?
Dammit, no! I wasn’t going to allow him to blackmail me. That was all this was.
“You seem to think you know so much about me,” he said in a quiet voice. “But you have no idea who I am.”
“I know what you’re showing me. If you want me to see you differently, then you can’t keep up the act.”
“So, you do think it’s an act,” he said.
I shook my head. Why was he talking me into a corner?
“Stop it,” I snapped at him. “Stop repeating my words, stop making it sound like you’re a victim. You create victims, you sure as shit are not one yourself.”
Thane frowned but this time, I stayed strong. I wasn’t going to fall for another guilt trip.
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Thane shouted, furious now. His fury was terrifying, but I stood my ground. “You can’t tell me who I am.”
I rolled my eyes at him. “Stop being such a whiny little bitch.”
That was the last straw. He hit me. At least, he tried. But adrenaline pumped through my body, making me sharp. Something else happened, too. It was almost as if I could sense what he was going to do before he did it. I anticipated the punch before it happened. By the time his fist swung where my jaw should have been, I had ducked out of the way.
The surprise on Thane’s face mirrored my own, but it was quickly replaced by frustrated rage and he swung again. And again. We fought, but this time, it was almost like a twisted, orchestrated dance. I knew where he was going to be and he read my body language much better, too. We did get a few punches and kicks in, but most of it was an attempt to outwit the other because we somehow couldn’t manage to fight the way it should have been.
We stopped, breathing hard, staring at each other in disbelief. What the fuck was going on?
The atmosphere around us was just as charged as before, but as we stared at each other, a new sort of heat crept in, and I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t stop the need that poured over me. I swallowed hard, trying to push away the lust that swirled at the pit of my stomach, tried to ignore the fact that I became so wet for him I didn’t know what to do with myself.
Thane took a deep breath and I knew what was happening. He had picked up my scent. He could smell me. And he knew. The way he looked at me suggested he knew exactly how I felt, what I felt.
He closed the distance between us. We grabbed at each other and I wasn’t sure who kissed the other first, but one minute we were fighting and the next, our lips mashed against each other and his hand was on my breast, my arms wrapped around his body and his erection pressed up against my stomach.
He all but ripped my clothes off my body, the urgency of our need driving him on. I ran my hand over his body, helping him get rid of his clothes, too. I needed to feel him inside of me. I didn’t know where this need had come from, but it was so strong it had turned into a physical ache and I felt as though if I didn’t get it, I was going to spontaneously combust. We were both naked in no time and I took just a moment to take it all in – his lean, muscular body, his black hair, the drowning depths of his dark eyes that almost consumed me when he looked at me. His lips were parted, and his hands slid between my legs.
I cried out when he touched me, my body trembling. He removed his hand, wrapped an arm around my body, and pushed into me. Along with the thrust came an incredible sensation that made me cry out again. I had no idea how to describe it, just that it was something more powerful and intense than anything I had felt before. It felt like the heat at my core magnified until I was a furnace. I fe
lt feverish, burning up.
He moved inside me, and I gripped his powerful arms. I looked up at him, and Thane’s eyes were on mine. We were connected in a way I would never have expected with this monster.
And while he rode me, I had the undeniable feeling that he wasn’t a monster at all.
Afterward, when we both dressed in silence and he returned to his controls, I sat on one of the bunks, trying to pull myself together. My body was on fire, my fingertips tingled, and I felt satiated more than I’d ever felt. I swallowed hard, covering my face with my hands.
So much for to trying to put my foot down about him kissing me. That had blown up in my face—
The message from my sister came so fast, breaking off every other thought. If I could stumble mentally, I would have. I hadn’t known that she would be able to reach me without me using the Noether again. I hadn’t expected anything from her, and this came out of left field.
I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to communicate with her, sending questions her way. But all I got in return was a scrambled collection of words. It made no sense.
Alarm bells went off in my head. If she wasn’t making sense, something was very wrong. Since our communication right now was telepathic, her mind was in a bad place. Had the virus affected her so badly?
“Naira!” I shouted, feeling lost and helpless. How could I reach her?
I got something else from her at the end of the message. But it wasn’t words. It was more like a memory. Of Lena, coming into the room.
“Oh, no, Naira,” Lena said, rushing forward. “No, no, no, you cannot leave, not yet. Naira wake up. Look at me, child. Look at me!
That was it.
“Naira!” I shouted again, but it wouldn’t make a difference. Naira was far, far away. And unresponsive. Lena was there, but what could the old woman do? I grabbed my bag and searched for the Noether I had stolen, yanking it out. Tears filled my eyes as I cradled it to my chest. I hadn’t made it home to Naira.