by Hamill, Ike
“Why do you care about that old gossip anyway?” Jack asked.
Ricky deflected the question. “Do you know where the Libbys went?”
For a rare moment, both Debbie and Jack were silent.
“Didn’t they…” Jack started to say.
Debbie finished the thought. “Moved up near Sebec Lake.”
“Started a commune of some sort.”
Ricky nodded. He had been to that commune earlier that day. He didn’t really want to know where—he wanted to know why.
“And then most of them took off for parts unknown. Only one of them stayed behind and said that the others were dead, but there was never any evidence of it. They say he went crazy.”
Ricky nodded again. “Yeah, that was Romeo. Do you know why they went? Was it the feud?”
“Nope,” Debbie said.
Jack shook his head too. “For sure, no. The feud was the reason they were sticking around. They weren’t exactly enjoying it, but to leave meant defeat and neither side wanted to admit defeat. They must have had another reason to move.”
Jack started talking about the Soucy-Dunns, picking up where Debbie had left off on that thread a while ago, but Debbie was looking away, squinting up towards the cabinets like she was trying to remember something. She snapped her fingers and Jack stopped mid-sentence.
“You remember those Orgone weirdos?”
Jack’s eyes lit up. “Yes, you’re right! That’s it. I had forgotten all about that nonsense.”
“What’s that?” Ricky asked. A few seconds later, he almost regretted asking.
# # #
Jack and Debbie started talking at once. They kept bursting out with little details as they remembered them. It had no thread for Ricky to follow. He had to get up halfway out of his chair and wave his hands to get them to settle down and tell what they knew in a sensible way.
“There were these weirdos,” Debbie said. “Before our time—before our parents’ time—that moved to Maine at some point.”
“Forties,” Jack said. “But after the war.”
Debbie agreed and kept going. “They believed in this energy that was supposedly discovered by Wilhelm something-or-other. This energy was supposed to be the stuff that makes things come together and come alive.”
“Science says that everything falls apart over time,” Jack said.
“Entropy?” Ricky asked.
“Yes. But they thought that Orgone was like a life force that brings things together and puts them in order,” Jack said.
“So they built this place up in Rangeley that was supposed to be an observatory of sorts, but it also had a bunch of cabins and a conference center and stuff.”
“Rangeley is pretty far from Sebec Lake,” Ricky said. “Hours away.”
“Yes, but imagine a triangle,” Jack said. “With us at the bottom, Sebec Lake is upper right, and Rangeley is upper left. There was supposed to be a flow of some sort of power that moved throughout the year to the points of that triangle.”
“Four months, four months, four months,” Debbie said while she moved her finger in the air. “I remember someone talking about that and how the Orgone people thought that they had it right and some of the Prescotts were convinced that they had the right answer. Then, some other folks decided that both groups were right and wrong. They proposed that there must be a third point to the triangle. It’s like a Father, Son, and Holy Spirit type thing.”
“Plow, grow, and harvest,” Jack said.
“Exactly,” Debbie said. “Now that I think of it, didn’t the Libbys go along with those people? Isn’t that how they ended up moving up to Sebec Lake?”
“I think you’re right,” Jack said.
“Because of the Orgone energy?” Ricky asked.
“No, not exactly,” Debbie said. “It was because they believed that if there was Orgone energy up in Rangeley, and some other kind of thing down here, then there had to be a third part up near Sebec Lake. They wanted to get up there to stake a claim.”
“Why?” Ricky asked.
Debbie shrugged.
“Why do people do anything? Money? Power?” Jack said.
Ricky sat back in his chair.
“So, they were fighting with the Prescotts who also had some sort of control over the flip side of this Orgone thing.”
“Right,” Debbie said.
“And the Libbys went with some other folks to find the third side of the coin up near Sebec Lake,” Ricky said.
“Exactly,” Jack said.
“And then all but one of them disappeared, and later all the Prescotts move away.”
“All the ones who mattered, at least,” Jack said.
“So, what about the Orgone people? Are they still up at Rangeley?”
Jack and Debbie both shrugged.
Ten: Amber
Amber turned slowly, looking at the living room. Everything had been boxed and was ready to ship. Her cousins had told her not to bother—they said that they could just as easily send someone down with a truck to carry everything back. Amber turned them down. She had no desire to see any of those people. Once they had learned the contents of Evelyn’s will, all the old scabs had been picked again.
Evelyn would have hated to see her house like that—most of what she loved packed away into boxes.
Amber smiled and laughed at herself. Evelyn wouldn’t have seen anything. She would have tripped over everything exactly once and then she would have effortlessly learned where all the obstacles were and she would have kicked each box as she made her way through the space.
A knock pulled Amber out of the thought. She went to the door thinking that it might be the guy she had hired to take all the boxes to the shipping office.
It was Shawn.
Amber’s mouth turned down into a frown.
“What?”
He looked hurt by her rudeness.
“I’m just here to check up on you, Amber. I was worried about you. I heard you quit your job after your cousin died.”
“She’s gone, Shawn. You have no more reason to be here.”
“Actually, I do,” he said. He held up an envelope and Amber recognized it before she even saw the return address printed in corner. It was from the lawyer’s office that Evelyn had used. There hadn’t been any mention of Shawn in the will—Amber had been braced for that when she read it. The envelope sent a dagger of concern into her heart. It finally seemed like she was getting everything settled and now this.
“May I come in?” he asked.
“No. I will talk with you on the porch.”
He looked hurt again. Slowly, like moving himself was painful, he slid away from the door and let her come out to join him.
“What does it say?”
Instead of just telling her, he lifted the flap and pulled the paper out. Shawn unfolded it and held it out so she had to stand next to him to read it.
The letter started out with, “I’ve instructed my attorney to send out this letter after I pass,” and was mostly one of thanks. Amber could hear Evelyn’s voice in the words. At the end, the letter said, “I’ve left something for you at the house. Please stop by and get it when you have a chance.”
“May I come in and collect my remembrance?”
“I don’t know what that might be, Shawn,” Amber said. “I’ve been through everything and I didn’t see anything earmarked for you. I have no idea why she wouldn’t have mentioned it specifically.”
He smiled. “It was our secret.”
Amber rolled her eyes. There were people who Evelyn liked to spend time with and people she merely tolerated because she had a mutually beneficial relationship with them. Shawn was definitely one of the merely tolerated people. Amber didn’t believe for a second that Evelyn shared a secret with Shawn, but the paper in his hands was hard to deny.
“Come in. The shipping guy is going to be here any second, so make it fast.”
He moved slowly, putting his hand up over his mouth as he entered and looked aro
und the living room.
“Oh, no. She would have hated to see her house look like this,” he said.
Amber folded her arms across her chest and waited at the door.
Shawn looked over to her with a sad smile.
“I guess not, huh?” he asked. “She wouldn’t have seen it at all.”
He shook his head and laughed, still pretending to be sad.
“What did she leave you, Shawn?”
He turned out his hands, gesturing to Amber.
“I told you, I don’t know what it could be,” she said. “The will clearly gave me latitude to disperse things to relatives how I would. There were only a few specific items even mentioned—a pair of earrings and a painting that her husband made. You weren’t on that list. All this stuff is going to relatives who expressed interest.”
His eyes shifted around the room. For just a moment, it seemed like his stare settled on the door to Evelyn’s room. Amber had cleaned that room first and then she had closed the door so she wouldn’t have to look at the place where the bed had been.
“It’s you,” he said. This time his smile was more sheepish than sad.
“What are you talking about?”
“The whole time you were gone, she told me that she didn’t understand why you had left me to come live with her, and she didn’t know why you left her to go live in Maine. When we talked, she said over and over that if she could help you deal with your fear of trust, then maybe she could help you and me get back together.”
“I don’t have a fear of trust, Shawn. I have a fear of your manipulation and your mean streak. I consider that fear to be completely legitimate.”
“Amber,” he said, looking hurt again, “I wish you could really take a step back and see things for how they were.”
“Really,” she said, not disguising her contempt. “Please, why don’t you educate me.”
“All that stuff that happened with your family. You lost your parents, and your whole world fell down around your feet. You never recovered from that. You’re still processing that pain.”
Amber didn’t respond. She just raised her eyebrows and stared at him, daring him to go on.
“You went to college and had some relationships, but nothing serious. You didn’t try to really see yourself with anyone until you and I got together. Granted, I rushed things asking you to move in with me, but can you blame me? You’re the best thing that ever happened in my life and I saw the trouble you were having trying to find the right place to live. I thought that we could work through any problems that might come up because I knew how strong we were together.”
Amber leaned back against the wall. She was hoping that the delivery guy would interrupt them, but she was starting to think that maybe she shouldn’t wait any longer. Maybe it was time for her to interrupt.
“But then, when you moved in, all those old wounds were triggered again. I could see how damaged you were by the past and I held onto you even tighter. That’s my fault. I can accept that. Somehow when Evelyn said that she was going to offer you a room, I thought that it would help bring us closer, you know? I thought that with a little space, you could see all the good we had between us and not be so wrapped up in your fear of living with someone.”
“I was never afraid to live with someone, Shawn.”
“Oh, no? How long did you stay with Evelyn before you ran away from her too.”
“It wasn’t like that. I had to go take care of Uncle Bill’s house. You know that.”
He shook his head.
“How did that go?”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Isn’t your uncle’s house still on the market? Did you actually take care of the place or did you just use it as an escape hatch so you wouldn’t have to live with Evelyn anymore?”
“I came back for her.”
“Oh? Is that how it happened? The way I heard it, as soon as you ran into trouble up north, you ran back here. Not for her, but to her. And she said that you started staying up all night just so you wouldn’t have to interact with her all day.”
“Shawn, almost everything you’re saying is wrong and you’re starting to make me angry. I think it’s time you leave.”
He shook his head and looked down at the floor.
“No, Amber, not this time. This time I’m going to prove to you that people who really love you won’t abandon you. I’m not like your parents or the rest of your family. I’m not some aging person who is safe because they’re close to passing away. We’re right for each other and I’m not leaving until you see that you can depend on me.”
Amber didn’t hesitate. She reached into her pocket, grabbed her phone, and hit the button on the side until a loud warning began to play through the speaker.
She raised her voice to be heard over the alarm.
“After ten seconds, this phone will automatically call the police. I’m going to tell them that you forced your way in and refuse to leave.”
“Amber…”
“If I tell them that you threatened me, you’re going to jail.”
He didn’t move.
The alarm on the phone stopped and a voice came over the speaker asking for her address and the nature of the emergency.
# # #
Shawn stood there, staring at her for three full seconds while the voice on the phone asked again about the nature of the emergency. He finally strode towards her fast and veered at the last moment and walked through the door.
Amber lifted the phone to her ear.
“Oh my gosh,” she said, pretending to be breathless, “I accidentally hit the button too many times and it called you and then I dropped the phone. I’m so sorry—this isn’t actually an emergency.”
Shawn crossed the lawn and kept going.
The operator said, “Are you sure? If someone is there, you can…”
“No, I’m completely fine, seriously. It was just an accident. So sorry. I won’t keep you.”
She disconnected and held her breath for a moment, expecting the phone to ring. When it didn’t, she exhaled and put the phone back in her pocket. Out on the street, the shipping guy turned into the driveway and Amber turned her attention back to the boxes. She propped the door open and started to move boxes out to the porch. They were already labelled. All he had to do was scan them and load them onto his truck.
By the time he was carrying the last box, Amber realized that she hadn’t spoken a word to him the whole time.
“Thank you,” she called, waving.
He waved back and climbed back into his truck and was gone.
Amber was alone in a nearly empty house. There was just enough furniture to stage the place to be shown. The real estate agent up in Maine had been very businesslike—almost rude—in comparison to the one she found to list her cousin’s house.
In Maine, the woman sat her down and questioned her motives in listing the place.
“Are you going to consider serious offers even if they don’t initially meet your expectations?”
“Of course,” Amber had said.
In North Carolina, the agent had said, “Don’t think of this as a commitment. We’re just going to float this idea out there and see what happens. If the right opportunity comes alone, we’ll have the chance to consider it.”
They were such different approaches. Truthfully, Amber didn’t care for either one of them. She resolved to never purchase a house of her own. Renting would be just fine. The pain of staging and selling a house was something that other people could deal with. She had already done it enough for a lifetime.
Once the boxes were gone, she was able to push around the few pieces of the furniture that the real estate agent had approved. There was a company coming in a few days who would fancy the place up before the open house. It had to look livable but not cluttered.
Amber smiled at the idea. It was amazing that what people found attractive in a home was so completely unrealistic. They thought they wanted big, open, uncluttered space. As so
on as they moved in, they would jam things everywhere until they ran out of space and decided it was time to “upgrade.”
Amber resolved to never buy any furniture that she didn’t absolutely need. One bed, one dresser, one nightstand, and one chair was all she could use at a time. Why should she buy more?
By the time she was done cleaning and moving around the last of Evelyn’s things, it was starting to get dark. Her schedule was all messed up now that she had quit working again. Taking care of the house, she had been forced to stay up all day. Exhausted, she was facing the impossible prospect of trying to stay awake all night.
Amber paced in the empty kitchen, bouncing her keys in her hand.
“Beach?” she whispered to herself.
After glancing through the window towards her car, she shook her head and dismissed the idea. She didn’t want to drive all that way in the dark, alone. That road was too monotonous and before long she would be too tired to keep her eyes open.
Likewise, she didn’t want to sit down and try to watch TV. That would put her to sleep as well. There was an all-night movie theater downtown. There were always creepy people hanging out there—insomniacs and people with weird social issues. It might be a decent place to pass the time, but Amber didn’t want to equate herself with those odd folks.
The house was clean enough, but the only thing she could think to do was to start fresh and clean the whole house once more. All she had to do was make it until dawn and then she could draw the curtains, sleep all day, and get back to her nocturnal schedule once more.
The supplies were under the sink. Amber collected those and rinsed out a rag that was still damp before she headed towards the laundry room for the bucket, broom, and mop.
Amber froze in the hall.
The door to Evelyn’s room was open a few inches again.
# # #
Slowly and silently, Amber crouched to put down the spray bottles, sponge, and rag. Her eyes didn’t leave Evelyn’s door as she reached up and turned the knob of the laundry room. When that door was open, she stole a glance to be sure nothing was waiting in there before she slid inside. Amber closed the door behind herself and pressed her back against it, waiting until she could catch her breath.