by J. P. Scott
What had this man done to me?
Chapter Twelve
Even after the sun went down, I stayed at the cabin, smoking and drinking beers—although my pace had slowed. It was the nighttime when I typically felt the weight of my responsibilities. There was very little to distract me from my thoughts and even less actionable things I could do to make changes or improvements to the business. It was restless time like this that I would hop on an app, looking for a hookup. Tonight, I just wanted Jonathan.
When I was done with my latest cigarette, I smashed it in the ashtray and stood up. Instead of heading down the hill to my place, I turned to go inside the cabin. With slow steps, I made my way to the bedroom. The scene of the crime—the crime that had suddenly changed my world. Only a couple weeks ago, I had been consumed with a desire for Alex and jealous of his relationship with Cody. Now, I only wanted Jonathan.
I sat on the bed, almost as willing as I had at Jonathan’s direction earlier. My heart rate increased and I grabbed my cock through my jeans as it swelled with excitement.
The night stand was still in the middle of the room. I leaned over and opened the bottom drawer. The cuffs sat right on top of the pile of toys. I picked them up and set them on top of the night stand. I pulled out the riding crop and tossed it on the bed.
I looked in at the other toys, curious as to what Alex and possibly Cody liked to play with, and what Jonathan had found so funny. I also had a temptation to recreate the experience with Jonathan while also preparing myself for the next time—the time when I would likely find myself bottoming. When that time did come, I wanted to know that I could take it. I knew what it took to please a bottom and knew when my cock was meeting their needs. They opened up to take me deeper and grabbed my hips and ass to pull me closer. Less experienced bottoms got tighter, squeezing their muscles with panic.
I pulled a dildo out of the drawer. It was lifelike in appearance with veins running down the side. It was not lifelike in size—a joy certainly to the bottoms look for a large girth. For this top, it struck fear and wonder how anyone could fit all of that inside. “If I can take this….” Jonathan could not possibly be this big. I tossed it on the bed. From the top drawer, I took out the lube and the poppers.
I quickly undressed, both anxious to start and also afraid I might change my mind.
I picked up the riding crop and began to run the square end over my chest, feeling the soft leather pass over my skin. I paused the motion and began practicing tapping it against my pec, increasing the force to see how strong I could take. Even when I thought I was using strong force to whip myself—the sting was manageable. It stung, but quickly dissipated. Would it be the same with Jonathan since I would not know when he would slap or how hard?
Wanting the feel the of leather over more of my body, I stopped the tapping and continued to explore. The square end passed over my nipple and it hardened in excitement. Maybe Jonathan would find this spot next time. I teased the nipple and enjoyed the current it sent through my body.
I was hard, horny, and wishing Jonathan was here right now. He would know the best way to get me broken in and relaxed enough to take a cock. He merely pointed before and I was eager and doing his bidding. I looked down at the dildo, uncertain I would be able to take it on my own without the reassuring words from a partner and the commanding presence that assured everything would be okay.
“Just relax and enjoy it,” I told myself. Needing a pep talk for sex was new.
I set the riding crop aside and picked up the bottle of lube. I applied some to two fingers on my right hand, knelt on the mattress with my knees apart, and reach around and massaged the lube onto my hole. My fingers moved in circles over my hole, massaging the muscle, willing it to relax. I added more lube to my fingers, letting it run down to cover more area. I massaged more, breathed deep, and inserted a finger. A finger is smaller than a cock, but has less give and felt hard and slightly uncomfortable as my muscles clinched. I slowly removed and reinserted the finger, regulating my breathing, and waiting for my both to grow accustomed to something inside me. When I felt myself relax, I worked to add the second finger and sat back, hoping the angle would get the most depth. Holding my hand in place, I rocked back and forth, controlling the depth the fingers would go by how I tilted my hips.
It was time to move on to the real thing. I looked back down to the dildo. Even though I knew it would have some give, it still looked so massive. It was much bigger than my two fingers. Why had there not been anything smaller in the drawer? A butt plug? A prostate massager? Anything to ease me into the process?
I removed my fingers and picked up the dildo and the bottle of lube. I covered the tip and shaft with a long line of lube and used my hand to swirl it over the shaft. Wanting to make sure it was slick, I added more to the shaft. Then, I put more on my fingers and applied it to my hole.
“I’ll buy you a new bottle, Alex,” I said to the universe.
I grabbed the dildo near the base and the imitation ball sack. I placed it behind me, the dildo’s base on the mattress, the head pointing towards the crack in my ass.
I exhaled, trying to shake the nervousness from my body. It was now or never.
Before inserting the dildo, I knew I needed one more thing. The poppers. Not only did it give a buzz that helped my sex more enjoyable, it helped to make the muscles relax. It was not every bottom that used them, but the larger the size of the top or the larger number of tops being taken, the higher the probability that poppers were needed. I unscrewed the cap and held it under my right nostril while holding the left closed. I inhaled, switched nostrils, and inhaled again.
I moved the dildo closer, with the head against my hole. I reminded myself to breath and then leaned back to put pressure. A few seconds later, I felt myself open up. As a leaned back, the dildo moved further in.
“Relax,” I told myself as I felt my muscles seizing. I took another hit of poppers, grabbed the base of the shaft again and began to rock. Each time I rocked, felt more comfortable with the dildo in me and could tell I was letting it go deeper.
“Fuck,” I kept saying. It alone did not feel amazing. I did not imagine I would be longing to do this on a regular basis. But when I imagined that I was straddled over Jonathan, that it was his cock that I was riding. I imagined him gripping my hips, helping to guide the motion of my rocking.
What else would Jonathan do? Would he moan with pleasure? Would he slap my ass? I imagined there would be plenty of commands and dirty talk to direct me.
I leaned forward and rested, holding my body up with my left hand and my knees. My right hand held tight to the dildo and continued to stroke it in and out. This seemed more the position Jonathan would want. He would want to control the motion, pounding hard at times, dominating me. From this angle he could grab my nipples and pinch them. Or stroke my cock with a lubed-up hand, urging us both to climax.
I quickened the pace of my strokes, but I knew that it was not the same as an actual fuck. There was no way I could duplicate the rhythm or the passion when a top let himself go and wrecked the ass of his partner.
I sat back up, unable to take more. The dildo’s base was pressed against the mattress and was in as far as I dared. I added lube to my cock that was throbbing and begging for attention. I stroked slowly to cover myself with lube and then picked up the pace. I need to come and felt the climax coming.
“Fuck, Jonathan. Fuck.” I played with my nipples, imagining his hands. Electricity shot through my body. My cock pulsed in response and my ass grabbed the dildo tight.
I shot my load on the comforter and convulsed in pleasure. I was breathing hard and feeling waves of pleasure sweep my body. If Jonathan could make me feel like this, he might have a willing bottom to use as he wished. I leaned forward and slowly pulled the dildo out, gasping as it exited and my muscles tightened.
I started to get off the bed and looked to the doorway. I had company and had been watched.
Cody stood in the doorway. For how
long? Long enough to get excited. His hand was on his crotch. I could not see for sure, but I assumed he was hard and excited by the show I had been giving.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were here. When I saw…I….” Cody stammered over his words. He had been acting on impulse and when he knew I had seen him, it snapped him back to reality.
I held my hand up, “It’s okay.” I started to standup, but my leg muscles spasmed from being in the kneeling position for so long. It took a moment to steady myself.
Cody started walking away, “I shouldn’t be here. I didn’t know anyone would be here.”
I started to follow but realized I was naked. I looked around for my clothes and hastily began to dress. When I got to the cabin door, I looked out to see Cody already down the hill and headed towards the entrance to the cabin property. He was either headed back to the restaurant or would cross the highway to the campground where his camper was parked.
Chapter Thirteen
I woke up early the next morning in my own room. I dressed for a run and took off on my usual route. The rhythm of the run always made me think while blocking out distractions.
And I had a lot to think about.
After Cody left, I cleaned up the bedroom and toys and returned everything to their home in the night stand. I closed up the cabin and headed back down to my room. The tequila was still out and I took another shot.
I do not know what time I had fallen asleep, but it had been late. I was surprised to wake early as the sun was just beginning to rise. I felt it best to head out on a run and get the day started.
Jonathan’s camper was not parked next to the cabin. He must have stayed in Payson, doing whatever important thing he had to do. When would he be back? Would he be back today, or would he stay away all weekend? It did not make sense to drive back and forth between the cabins and Payson multiple times. The truck and camper would not get great gas mileage. Staying in Payson until his errands were done made the most sense.
Still, I wanted him here. I wanted to see him again, to feel him, to have him touch me and drive me wild.
Seeing Cody had shocked me. It made me remember the night that Ethan and I had tried to get Alex and Cody to hook up with us. I had acted on a desire much like I had last night. The result had been the beginning of the end of my relationship with Ethan. It had also solidified for Alex and Cody how they felt for each other.
Now that Cody had found me, naked, with a dildo up my ass, how would that change our interactions? I had been vulnerable and exposed, far from the cocky and inappropriate persona he was used to seeing.
But could I even look at him again? Would he even look at me?
The only way to tell was to head into the restaurant and have that conversation. Even if it was uncomfortable and embarrassing. Who did he think I was fantasizing about? Had he heard me say Jonathan’s name? Or did he think I was fantasizing about Alex…or even him? They were Alex’s toys and it seemed natural that anyone using them would be thinking about the owner.
Maybe if Cody knew the truth, he would find comfort that I was not after Alex or him. Ethan and my attempt to seduce them was a fleeting fantasy. I had moved on and he should not see me as a threat.
Then I remembered a detail about seeing him, something that I had not focused on. Cody’s hand had been on his crotch while he watched me. He had been turned on by what he saw. The question was, was he turned on the same way he would be watching porn? Or was he turned on because it was me?
By the time I finished my run and stopped on the front porch outside the office to catch my breath, I had thought about everything but had not come to any conclusions. I did not know what Cody would say, do, or act the next time we saw each other. I did not know how I would react.
Regardless of how either of us reacted, it seemed unlikely that I could finish out the summer without needing to eat at the restaurant. We would have to see each other at some point. We would have to deal with our interactions being complicated and messy.
“You’re up early.”
I turned to see Cody standing at the corner of the porch. He must have just come around the corner.
“Shit! I didn’t know you were there. You’re like a cat.”
“I hadn’t planned on doing this now, but I was hoping we could talk.”
“Yeah, about last night.”
Cody laughed, “Shit. Not about that.” He held up some garbage bags. “I was up in the cabin. I collected all of Alex’s things. Is there a place we can store them?”
“What’s wrong with up in the cabin? Won’t Alex want everything there we he gets back?”
“Well, that’s what I need to talk to you about.” Cody set the bags on the porch and came around to the steps. He climbed up and stood in front of me. “He may not be coming back.”
“What?” Had there been an accident?
“Well, the writer’s conference led to a couple other speaking gigs. He’s got some book tour stuff to do. He’s not sure when he will be back. It doesn’t make sense for his stuff to just sit up there. He thought maybe you could rent out the cabin and make some extra money.”
None of this was making any sense. “He’s rented the cabin for the entire summer. He’s all paid up. He doesn’t need to move his things out. He can come and go as needed.”
Cody sighed, “He knows. He doesn’t know when he will be back. He’s not looking to get any money back. If you can rent the cabin, it’s just going to be extra funds.”
That sounded like Alex. He had a good heart. He had known George for years and had often helped out in the office whenever George needed extra support to make it through a busy day. It made sense that Alex would still be thinking about how he could help George in his time of need, despite what he may thing about me.
“Is there a place where we can store his stuff? At least until I can get it boxed up and taken to the post office?”
I laughed, looking at the bags. The contents of the night stand had to be in there. “Are you sure It’s safe with me?”
Cody blushed, picking up on my reference to the sex toys and the position he found me last night. “Well, just make sure you keep them clean and properly stored when you are done.”
Then there was silence between us. Neither of us was ready to jump into the conversation.
“Sorry about that. I did not know you were stopping by.”
“Well, when I saw the camper gone, I figured it was a good time to stop by and take care of this. I should have knocked…or at least announced myself. I heard noises when I stepped it but did not call out. I assumed it would just be your handyman collecting his things at the end of the day. When I saw you…I did not know what to say.”
“I’m sure it was quite a surprise.” I was barely able to comprehend that I had done it. Finding someone else in the middle of the act would be a shock to anyone.
“I had no idea you were a bottom. I thought you were the ‘total top’ kind of guy.”
I nodded, “I usually am. I guess I’m trying new things.”
“And here I was wondering what to get you for your birthday.”
This is what I wanted with Cody, the ability to have banter back and forth rather than animosity. Maybe there was hope that we could be civil beyond ordering food and drinks at the restaurant. Right now, with everything going on, I could use as many friends as I could get.
“Do you have any recommendations?”
“You’ve already test driven what I would suggest. It’s not usually the starter, though.”
“Go big or go home.”
Cody shook his head, “This is not the conversation that I thought I would be having today. It’s enlightening.”
There was a long silence again. Finally, I said, “My handyman, Jonathan…what do you think about him?”
“Jonathan Clay? I didn’t realize that was who you had hired. You guys were sitting by each other at the restaurant that one day. I guess I should have put two and two together.” Cody looked away.
&n
bsp; “Do you know him?”
“I know of him. I think he knew my dad. Used to go drinking with him. I know my mom is not a fan. Word must be out that he’s back in town. She asked if I had seen him.”
“Everyone knows everyone else up here, huh?”
“It’s easy to get a reputation. I feel like it is a hobby around here to spread those around, whether they are true or not.” Cody looked out to the trees and away from me. “Where is he, anyway?”
“He said he needed to go down to Payson. He said he would be back, but he did not come home last night as best I could tell.”
“He probably shouldn’t be driving until he sobers up.”
“You think he’s drinking down in Payson?”
Cody nodded, “When I said he used to go drinking with my dad, it was always on a bender. They’d be gone for days. Each time I would find my mom crying, trying not to be heard by us kids.”
“Is he still a drinker? All I’ve seen from him is hard work. I offered him beer yesterday and he turned me down.” What was this that Cody was telling me? Was Jonathan an alcoholic? Was I missing a sign? Everything that I had seen about him was a hard worker, spending long days working on the property. “When he’s been to the restaurant, has he been drinking?”
“I only saw him the one day…the day you were sitting next to him. He had water.”
“Maybe he’s turned over a new leaf.”
“I hope so.”
I hoped so, too. The last thing I needed was a handyman that was unreliable and a potential liability on the property. Was there a problem that I should be concerned about? Could Cody be wrong about Jonathan? The idea that he would be out on drinking benders were not line with what I had witnessed with him. Not only had I offered him beer, but I had offered him harder liquor as well. He did not blink when I offered him a drink. He had calmly declined and kept to his plans.