by Katee Robert
I lose track of how many times I tell him I love him.
No matter how strong our will, our bodies eventually give out and we pass out tangled up in his bed, his hand still cupping my pussy as if trying to milk every last drop of pleasure.
It’s one hell of a goodbye.
Chapter 17
I wake up before dawn. Every part of my body hurts, but I don’t let that stop me as I climb out of bed and stagger to the dress we discarded at some point. I don’t know where my black dress is, so this will have to do.
I pause in the doorway and look back, determined to memorize this moment. Shane is sprawled on his back, the sheets bunched around his waist, his broad chest on display. It’s almost enough to tempt me back to bed. To pretend our deadline hasn’t come. To take him up on everything he’s offering me.
I can’t.
I just…can’t.
“Lily.”
I jump. “I didn’t realize you were awake.”
“I was the moment you moved.”
I shift, torn between walking out the door and running back to the bed. “I have to go, Shane. I…”
“It’s too soon.” He sits up. “You need time to work through your shit.”
“Yes.” I exhale in something like grief. “It’s a lot of shit.” It will take longer than seven days to get over this. It’s not even getting over Max as much as it’s getting over the failed relationship. I need time and space to process, but I don’t know how long it will take. “I can’t ask you to wait for me.”
“You don’t have to.” He drags his hand through his hair. “You’re it for me, Lily. I’ll wait as long as you need.”
My chest aches, but I don’t argue. I don’t ask him what happens if he’s waiting forever. “I’m going to go.”
“I’ll walk you out.”
“No.” I take a quick step back, even though he’s barely shifted. “If you get up, I’m going to second-guess myself and then I’ll end up on your cock again. Which means we’ll be having an identical conversation next time we surface.”
He curses softly. “Text me when you get home.”
I don’t tell him that even that much communication is probably crossing a line. “I will.” I pause. “Do you want the videos?”
Shane holds my gaze. “Only when you’re ready to start again. Send them to me when you’re ready to be mine, baby girl.”
“Yes, Daddy,” I whisper.
And then I flee.
Chapter 18
February
5:48pm
Shane: How are you holding up?
Me: It’s been rough.
Shane: What can I do?
Me: I just need time, I think.
Shane: Take all the time you need, Lily. I mean it.
Chapter 19
April
1:13am
Me: I want to fuck.
Shane: Lily, are you drunk?
Me: Maybe. Girl’s night!
Me: But they’re gone and I want my Daddy’s cock.
Shane: Where are you?
Me: The Silver Spoon.
Shane: Give me fifteen minutes.
Shane: Do not leave with anyone.
Me: I only want to leave with you.
* * *
2:01 am
Me: I am so mad at you.
Shane: You won’t be tomorrow.
Me: You turned me down!
Shane: You’re drunk, baby girl.
Shane: You’d regret fucking me.
Me: You’re an asshole.
Shane: Guess I’ll have to live with that.
* * *
10:26 am
Me: I’m sorry.
Shane: How are you feeling?
Me: Like I’m dying.
Me: I’m never drinking again.
Me: I shouldn’t have text you.
Shane: You can always call me for a ride.
Shane: I’d rather you be safe.
Me: Thanks. For everything.
Shane: Any time, Lily.
Chapter 20
May
3: 52pm
Me: I saw you today.
Shane: Oh?
Me: Yeah, pulling out of the store parking lot.
Shane: Sorry I missed you.
Me: Me too.
Me: I do.
Me: Miss you.
Shane: I miss you, too.
Me: I just need more time.
Shane: Take as long as you need.
Me: You keep saying that, but you won’t wait forever.
Shane: Let me worry about that.
Chapter 21
June
I don’t know how it happens. One day, I’m still struggling to stay afloat, the pressure easing a little with each week that passes. The next I wake up determined to start living again. I hate that it took me six months to work through this, but every time I felt like the ground might be steadying under my feet, something would happen.
So I keep my head down and focus entirely on work until the end of the school year. And then summer vacation starts and I feel… Okay. Better than okay. Almost like myself again.
I miss Shane so much, it’s like I actually carved out my heart that weekend and left it behind in his house. No matter how much an asshole I act, he’s been a goddamn saint since. Never pushing me. Never trying to play dirty. Just patient and understanding and I am so done with all my bullshit.
It’s time to move forward. I finally feel ready.
The fact that it’s an unseasonal blistering hot June day only seems to spur me on. Like I’ve been standing still for so long, treading water, and now I’m ready to sprint. There’s only one direction for me to sprint to: Shane.
If he’ll still have me.
I pick up my phone and flick through to my secret folder where I keep the videos from that weekend. I’ve watched them more times than I care to admit. Bringing myself to orgasm at the sight of his fingers in my pussy or me riding his mouth, riding his cock. My hands are nowhere near as good as the real thing.
He said to send the videos when I’m finally ready to move forward.
My thumb hovers over the button to do it, but I hesitate. Is it too late? Have I lingered too long? Nervous energy has me texting him instead.
Me: It’s wicked hot today.
He responds almost immediately.
Shane: I was actually thinking of getting the pool ready to go.
Just like that, an idea forms. A filthy, perfect idea.
Me: You should. Gotta maximize every hot summer day.
Shane: Agreed.
Me: Are you still going home for lunch?
Shane: Sometimes. Why?
Me: Just wondering.
Me: I have to go. I’ll catch up with you soon.
Shane: Okay. Have a good day.
I check the clock. It’s mid-morning, which means I don’t have much time. I take a shower and get ready, throwing on a pair of shorts and a tank top and filling a tote bag with the things I’ll need. It’s not until I’m driving to Shane’s that my nerves ramp up.
If he doesn’t want me anymore, I’m setting myself up for one hell of a humiliating experience.
I find the spare key exactly where it’s always been, tucked under a fake rock near the front door, and let myself in. Even though I know better, I drift through the house. I’m not exactly looking for evidence that he’s moved on, but I still exhale in relief when I find things exactly as they were the last time I was here.
It’s game time.
I strip and pull on the white wrap cover-up that I bought a month ago because it made me think of Shane. The cut almost looks Grecian, narrow swathes of fabric draping from my shoulders over my breasts and crisscrossing at my hips to form a tiny little skirt. It’s cute with my swimsuit on under it. It’s dirty as hell without.
I take a deep breath and walk out into the backyard. The cover is still on the pool, but he’s got the lounge chairs out like I hoped. Shane likes to read in the evenings out here as soon as the wea
ther’s nice, so I bet he brought them out of storage the second the temperature edged to barely tolerable.
I drape myself over the lounge chair in the shade and take a deep breath. Here we go. I lift my phone, position it over my face in a selfie angle, and push record. “Hi Shane. I might have done a little breaking and entering to get into your backyard, but is it really breaking and entering if I know where the spare key is?”
I’m talking too fast, my words tumbling over themselves, but I can’t seem to stop. “I didn’t expect to be this nervous, but here we are.” I nibble my bottom lip. “I know you said to send those videos when I was ready, but I don’t want to live in the past. I want a future.” I give a small smile. “So I’m making you a new video.”
I drag my finger down my neck, carefully following it with the camera, to cup my left breast. The white fabric is almost see-through. “I bought this just for you.” I tug it to the side, baring my breast, and let my fingers linger on my nipple. “I hope you like it.”
It’s harder to get this angle right. I have to sit up a bit as I pull up the wrap to show him my pussy. “Oops. No panties. I know how much you hate that.” I part my pussy and drag my middle finger up my center. “I’ve missed you, Daddy. I can’t wait for you to fill me up again.” I shift the camera back to my face, but I don’t stop touching myself. “Want to come home and have me for lunch?” I blow him a kiss and end the video.
I almost chicken out before sending it. But I’ve come too far to back out now.
My phone rings sixty seconds later.
Shane.
I’m shaking as I answer. “Hello?”
“Baby girl.” He sounds quiet and almost furious. “Are you fingering yourself in my backyard right now?”
Just like that, my nerves disappear. He wouldn’t call me that if he wasn’t one hundred percent in on this. I recline against the lounge chair and go back to leisurely stroking my clit. “Yes, Daddy.”
His breathing shudders out. “Don’t stop. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.” His voice goes hard. “Don’t you dare come. That orgasm is mine and I intend to take it.”
“Better hurry then.” I hang up to the sound of his cursing.
For all my teasing, I don’t really want to come before he gets here. But that doesn’t stop me from stoking my need higher with every touch. I debate taking off the cover-up, but it feels too good to stop, so I don’t bother.
Exactly fourteen minutes after we hung up, I hear the front door slam.
Shane stalks outside and stops short, like he can’t believe I’m really here. The shock on his face only lasts a moment, but it’s delicious. He’s wearing a suit without a tie, the top two buttons undone. As I watch, he shrugs out of the jacket and sets it on the back of the second lounge chair.
I give my clit another circle and hold my breath. Are we playing or are we going to talk?
He doesn’t make me wait long. “Tell me something.”
“Yes?”
He glances at the clear blue sky and then down at me. “You’re out here mostly naked and you haven’t put on any sunscreen, have you?”
“Um.” My skin heats. “No.”
“Thought so.” He disappears into the house for a few minutes and comes back with a tube of the stuff. Shane stalks to me and makes an impatient motion with his hand. “Sit up.”
I obey, reluctantly removing my hand from my clit. “Sorry, Daddy.”
“You will be if you get burned.” He eyes me and yanks down my cover-up to pool at my waist. “Jesus, baby girl. You aren’t even trying.” Before I can respond, he squirts some sunscreen into his palm and starts spreading it onto my skin. His hands shake a little as he starts at my shoulders and coasts his hands down my arms, but that’s okay. I’m shaking too. It’s been six long months since he touched me and I have to bite my bottom lip to keep from begging him not to stop.
I expect him to rush through this to get to the good parts. I should know better by now. I really should.
Shane massages the sunscreen into my arms, going slow to ensure he doesn’t miss a spot. Only once he’s satisfied does he urge me to lay back and start in on my upper chest and breasts. Neither of us say a word, not when he lightly pinches my nipples. Not when he leans down and nibbles at the underside of my breasts. His big hands bracket my ribs. “Lift your hips.”
I obey instantly, and he drags the cover-up down my body and drops it onto the ground. He holds my gaze. “It doesn’t cover you worth a damn, so we’re going to make sure we get every inch before you put it back on.”
I lick my lips. “Yes, Daddy.”
He rubs lotion into my stomach and hip and lower to the top of my mound, before bypassing my pussy entirely and giving my legs the same thorough attention he’s given the rest of me. “Turn over.”
“But—”
“Don’t make me ask again.”
I sigh and roll onto my stomach. Shane starts at my shoulders and works his way down. Slow. Agonizingly slowly. He palms my ass, squeezing and parting me, and his breath shudders out. “Fuck, you’re even more perfect than I remember.”
“Touch me. Please.”
“Mmm.” He wipes his hand on the towel under me. “That should do it. Get back on your back.”
I flip over and start to sit up, but Shane’s hand in the center of my chest stops me. He looks serious and almost forbidding. “I’m not playing games with you this time, baby girl. You part those legs and let me in, I’m keeping you. You don’t get to say you need space and walk away from me again. This pussy will be mine.”
“Can I tell you a secret?” I wrap my hands around his wrist and drag his hand slowly down my body. “This pussy has been yours since you fingered me on your couch.” He lets me guide a single finger into me. I whimper a little. It’s been so long.
“What are you saying?” His brows lower and his hand tenses beneath mine. “Use your words, Lily. I know you know how.”
“There’s been no one else.” I arch my hips up a little, working myself on his finger. “No one’s stuck their hands into my panties. No tongues have played with my clit. I haven’t ridden any cocks. No one’s touched me since you.”
“Put your hands above your head and grip the chair.”
I eagerly obey. “Six long months,” he muses, pumping his finger into me slowly. “Would you like a secret in return?”
“Yes.”
He wedges a second finger into me. “I haven’t fucked anyone, either.” He catches my chin with his free hand, his fingers digging in until I gasp. “I haven’t let another set of lips wrap around my cock. I haven’t stuck my hand up any short skirts to finger anyone.”
I moan and lift my hips. “I’ve been going crazy with wanting you. I watched those videos so many times.”
“Your panties are in my nightstand.” He leans down and licks the shell of my ear. “I’ve jacked myself with them so many times, I feel like a dirty old man.”
I like the picture he paints. Of my white lace panties bunched in his hand as he wraps it around his big cock. “That’s hot.”
“Not as hot as the feeling of your pussy clamped around my fingers.” He exhales slowly and withdraws his fingers. “We should go inside before we scandalize the neighbors.”
“You’re right.” I run my hands down my body, already shaking with need. “But don’t you want a taste, Daddy? Just a little taste before we move.”
He makes a sound like he’s in pain. “Just as much a dirty little slut as ever.”
“I miss your mouth. I miss it so much, I think I might die if you don’t give me your tongue right now.”
“Did I tell you to stop holding the chair?”
Instantly, I lift my arms over my head and grip the chair. “Sorry.”
“Spoiled.” He moves to wedge himself between my thighs. “Needy.” He exhales against my clit. “Demanding.”
I stare down my body as he parts my pussy. Behind him, I see movement in a window on the other side of the fence. “Your neighb
ors are watching,” I whisper.
“That’s what you want, isn’t it, baby girl? You’re naked in my backyard, tits on full display, your pussy practically weeping for me. You want them to look.” He inhales slowly. “Is it that bastard Richard?”
I have to struggle not to lift my hips, not to close that last little bit of distance between us. “Yes.” I don’t raise my voice. “He’s standing in his window.”
“Probably wishing he was in my position right now, about to taste your pretty pussy.” He urges my thighs wider. “You’re going to put on a show for him, aren’t you, baby girl? Let him know exactly how good your Daddy makes you feel.”
Chapter 22
Shane finally, finally dips his head down and makes contact. Our moans mingle at the first swipe of his tongue. I can’t take my eyes off him, off the bliss on his face as he tongues my pussy. My breasts are heaving with each inhale and I know we paint a sinful picture, him fully clothed with his head between my thighs, me naked and splayed, fully on display. “Do you think he wants to fuck me, Daddy?” I’m fighting to hold still, to not thrash as he tongues me. “Do you think he wants to sink into my tight pussy and watch my breasts shake as I bounce on his cock?”
Shane plasters one hand on my lower stomach and lifts his head to glare at me. “Yes, Lily, that’s exactly what I think he wants.”
I risk letting go of the lounge chair and sink my hands into his silvering hair. It’s a little longer than the last time he had me in this position. “Too bad.” I lift my hips and rub myself against his mouth. It feels even filthier because he doesn’t move. He just holds still and lets me grind on him like the dirty little slut I am. “Too bad,” I repeat. “This pussy is just for you.”
And then his mouth is on me and this time he stops playing around. He whips us both into a frenzy, sucking and licking me until I’m panting and a faint sheen of sweat rises from my skin. “Oh god, I’m going to come.”