I stare up at him as my breath comes in short gasps. At some level I know what he’s saying is borderline psycho nonsense. But I can’t deny the way his words are penetrating me, breaking through my defenses, making nonsense seem like perfect goddamn sense!
“You’re crazy,” I whisper, my voice wavering as I look into his eyes, see how serious he is, how deeply he believes what he just said. “Is there a bullet lodged in your brain or something? I heard that can make people crazy.”
“We’re all fucking crazy at some level,” he whispers back. “Every single one of us, El. Look at you, for fuck’s sake!”
“What about me?” I say, frowning up at him.
“What the hell are you doing here? You arrange a meeting with some underground teachers in Afghanistan and just waltz your ass into a war zone without protection?”
“It’s not that crazy. There are all kinds of aid workers all over Afghanistan,” I say firmly. Then I shift under his grip. “Besides, I have protection,” I say softly.
He grunts and takes a breath. “Yeah, well, it’s still not safe for you, El.”
“What do you mean? I thought you said the attack wasn’t anything to worry about, that it was just a random thing, like a drive-by or something.”
Edge’s face darkens and he slowly shakes his head. “That’s what they wanted it to look like,” he says grimly. “They spattered the building with wild machine-gun fire to cover up their real motive, their real target.”
A chill goes through me as I see the concern in Edge’s eyes. “Their real . . . target? What the hell are you talking about, Edge?”
“The first shot wasn’t from an AK-47 machine gun,” he says. “The first shot was from a rifle. A sniper’s rifle.” He takes a breath as his body stiffens and he draws even closer to me, like he wants to wrap me up, protect every inch of me. “That first shot was for you, El.”
I get that feeling like I’m choking again, and I blink in disbelief. “That’s . . . that’s impossible! There was no media attention about this. I knew it had to be kept quiet because the women I’m meeting with would be in danger if the Taliban found out. That’s why I didn’t even want the U.S. State Department to know about my visit. Certainly didn’t want the military to know! Besides, it’s just a small initiative, just a tiny step. How could the Taliban even know who I was, let alone where I was or why I was here?! And don’t they have bigger things to worry about than whether or not girls in Afghanistan get access to education?! Aren’t they on the run after we bombed the fuck out of them?!”
Edge shakes his head, his eyes closing tight and then opening again. “Look, I don’t know why these fuckers do what they do, all right? I just know what I know, what my instincts tell me, what my gut tells me. I know you’re in danger, and that’s all I give a shit about right now. You aren’t leaving this building until it’s clear. And then you’re getting on a military flight back to the U.S. of A. Simple as that.”
“I am not leaving without doing what I came to do!” I say, meeting his gaze with unblinking focus. “My meeting is in a few hours, and you’ve been assigned to get me there safely. So do your job, Soldier. Get me there safely.”
Edge grunts and shakes his head. “No dice. I’m not taking the chance that you get hurt. No way. No fucking way. Do you know what they’d do to you if they captured you?”
“Um, right now you’re the one holding me down, remember?” I shoot back. He’s still holding me firmly against the door, and I know there’s no way in hell I can break free. Even if I get out of this room, where do I go? I doubt the commander is going to send me out of this building with a group of his soldiers just so I can go to some meeting that he probably thinks is crap anyway. Hell, he didn’t even understand what the hell I did for a living, what my mission is, what my . . . my destiny is.
Wait, my destiny? When did I start using such hokey words?! When did I start believing in romantic nonsense like that?!
I feel the echoes of Edge’s voice mixing with my thoughts as I look up into this massive soldier’s eyes, feel his hands on me, smell his scent around me. My destiny, I think again as I remember what he said about being pulled towards something, pulled towards someone. Have I ever felt that? Do I feel it now? Is everything that’s happening here about us?! Me and him?! Or am I getting pulled into some schoolgirl’s dream, some insecure teenager’s fantasy?
Getting pulled into my fantasy?
My fantasy.
Why am I here, I wonder as I swallow hard and stare into Edge’s eyes. What brought me here? Was it really some altruistic motive or was it selfish? After the success of my company, was I feeling generous and ready to give back to the world, do some good without worrying about profit? Or did financial and business success make me realize that I needed more than that to be happy, to be complete, to be a . . . a woman? Was this whole trip kind of a freak-out, the inner me striking out into the unknown, seeking adventure, seeking something that I’d ignored in my relentless quest to be “successful” as a modern woman?
I tremble under Edge’s touch as I think back to how I’d put romance and dating on the back-burner most of my life. Is this what happens when you ignore such a big part of life? You make a wild decision to fly to a war-zone on some far-fetched mission that’s probably not gonna change shit in the world? Is this about you, El?
Yes, I decide suddenly. It is about me. Why the hell not? Maybe this is the last bit of my insecurity flying out the door, the vestiges of self-doubt that I buried as I chased business success and financial freedom. Maybe I’m being forced to confront my own prejudices right here, right now. Prejudices that have driven me to become the woman I am: Bold in a boardroom. Fearless with finances. Nasty in a negotiation. I just assumed that this defined all of the woman in me, but maybe I was wrong. Maybe there’s a part of me that’s still that plus-sized teenager, that insecure, shy girl who’s convinced no man will want her because of how she looks. And now that I’m with a man who wants me for my looks and my body, my reaction is to reject him? To assume he’s an animal, a caveman, a sexist?
I think about all the men I rejected, all those dates with polite, respectful men who were nice but did nothing for me, got nothing going inside me, left me cold after a kiss, dry when they touched me. I shake my head as I remember Deodorant-guy, who proudly proclaimed he used women’s roll-ons for his sensitive underarms (which he shaved, of course). These were the men my smart-ass brain wanted to set me up with? But my body knew better, didn’t it? It shut down, refused to let me go any further with those nice men in pink dress-shirts, pleated khakis, skinny suits with French-collared shirts.
A giggle escapes me as I imagine Edge squeezing his massive frame into a skinny-cut suit, his thick neck tearing that silly French collar apart. Then I’m laughing out loud in his arms, shaking my head as I wonder if I’ve lost my fucking mind. In the past hour I’ve been shot at, kissed, and now just told that maybe I’m a target for the Taliban. And what am I thinking about? What’s really getting me going? What seems like the most important thing that’s happened today?
That kiss.
This man.
The way he’s holding me down.
The way he’s pressed up against me.
The way he’s looking at me like he can’t turn away.
The way he insists I’m his, that this is about us and nothing else, that this is our fate, our destiny, our story.
“All right,” I say as I feel a wave of heat pass through my body. It makes me shudder, and I blink as I realize that it’s a strange sort of relief that’s flowing through me, like my body is sighing and saying: Finally you’re getting it! This part of you is important too, you dumb bitch! You ignored what this part of you wanted because you were insecure, embarrassed, ashamed! Now it’s time to let go of all that. Accept all of yourself, trust all of yourself, love all of yourself. Open up, El. Open up and let him in.
�
�All right what?” Edge whispers against my cheek.
“All right I’ll tell you,” I say softly even as I feel something clench inside me, like I’m terrified of what I’m about to reveal. “I’ll tell you, Edge. My darkest fantasy. What I used to imagine alone in my room as a teenager, when I was bigger than most of the boys in my class, when my greatest fear was that I’d crush my date before we got a chance to go any further than a kiss. I’ll tell you, all right? I’ll tell you.”
6
EDGE
She’s telling me something she’s never told a living soul, but I can hardly focus on her words because the blood is pounding in my head so fucking hard I’m almost blind with arousal. Still, I know I’m taking in everything she’s saying to me, taking it into me like I’m drinking pure emotion, her trembling, unsteady voice getting to me at such a deep level I almost groan out loud. I press her against the door, slowly grinding my cock between her thighs, nuzzling her neck, breathing deep as I take in the smell of her hair, the aroma of her skin, the scent of her sex.
“I’d imagine a man who was so tall my neck hurt just to look up at him,” she’s whispering as I straighten up and gently pull her by the hair so she’s forced to look up at me.
“Check,” I say with a smile, caressing her cheek with my rough thumb until she opens her eyes and flutters her eyelids. “Go on, El. You’re safe with me. You’ll always be safe with me. Go on. Keep talking.”
“So big and broad I’d feel tiny in his arms,” she whispers. “I’d imagine being picked up like I weighed nothing, and I’d just hold on to him as he carried me across the room.”
With a grin I slide my hands back around to her ass, squeeze firmly, and then lift her up as she gasps again and wraps her legs around my waist, slides her arms around my thick neck. I’m kissing her before she can say another word, my tongue driving past her soft, sweet lips, tasting her from the inside with a hunger that makes my cock throb like a cannon peppering the enemy with 20mm shells.
I stride across the armory, El in my arms, our bodies locked in embrace, our lips pressed firmly together in a kiss that makes it hard for me to fucking breathe, let alone walk! But this is her fantasy, and I’m gonna make it come true, and I stop in the middle of the room and bounce her up and down like she’s a little doll. I can feel my cock grind against her crotch as I raise and lower her big, beautiful body like it weighs nothing, and soon she’s giggling like a schoolgirl as we move together.
Before I realize it I’m twirling and twisting through the dark gray armory in this bombed-out building in fucking Afghanistan, and I almost roar with laughter when I realize we’re dancing! Dancing to music that neither of us can hear but we both can feel, music that’s making our bodies hum, our heads buzz, our bond strengthen as I hold her in my arms, hold her like she’s mine, like she’s always been mine.
She’s saying something else, but I can’t hear another word. I don’t need to hear another word. I already know. I don’t know how I know, but I do. She’s mine, and I know what she wants. I know what she needs. I know what she is!
I spin her around once more with all my strength, and she squeals in delight from the force of the spin, her long brown hair flying open like a battle flag. Then I lower her to the floor, and a moment later my face is down between her legs, my strong arms holding her spread wide as I jam my face in there, press my nose and mouth against the crotch of her pantsuit and breathe deep of her heavy feminine musk.
“Fuck, you smell so damned good,” I growl as I rub my face up and down between her thighs until I can feel her wetness oozing through two layers of cloth. Then I’m unzipping her, pushing my hand down the front of her panties, sliding my thick fingers into her wet cunt and making her seize up in shock as she comes immediately.
She’s still coming as I furiously yank her pants off her, and in a blur of movement my face is back between her soft thighs, my tongue driving into her slit so hard I push her panties up in there with me. Her wetness is oozing down the sides of her panties, and I pull back and lick the delicate insides of her gorgeously thick thighs, growling again as her tangy sweetness flows down my throat, driving me almost wild with need.
“These need to come off,” I say sharply, pushing her legs up in the air and rolling her panties all the way off her. The beautiful sight of her ass and thighs in front of my face is too fucking much, and I hold her legs up as I lean in and lick her pink, shining pussy, snaking my tongue around every inch of her long, perfect slit until she shudders from another climax that sends ripples through her naked flesh.
“Oh, shit, I’ve never come like that,” she groans, her voice barely a whimper as I spread her legs again and lick her with long, rough strokes, teasing her clit with my lips, fingering her asshole that’s already wet from our combined juices. “Oh, God, Edge!” she shrieks as I place my thumb firmly on her rear pucker and drive my tongue back into her cunt, curling it up against her g-spot until she comes all over my fucking face. “Oh Edge, I can’t even . . . I can’t even . . . oh, fuck!”
She wails through another climax that I can feel in my own body, and I drive my thumb deep into her asshole as I fuck her hard with my tongue. Her orgasms come in violent waves, and she’s squirting from her pussy as I tap that fibrous, delicate g-spot that seems perfectly positioned for the tip of my long tongue.
I go until I’m almost blue in the face, and finally I give her a breather and sit back on my haunches, panting and grinning as I lick my lips and gently massage her thighs until her eyelids flutter open and she looks up at me like she doesn’t know what the fuck I just did to her.
“Was that part of your fantasy?” I ask softly, still grinning, still licking my sticky lips like the filthy beast I am.
El covers her nose and mouth, her eyes wide with shock. Her face is bright red with arousal and embarrassment, and although she’s a grown woman, confident and articulate, I swear I can see that bashful teenager still alive inside her, just coming to terms with the beauty of her body, the beauty of sex, sex with the right man. Sex with her man.
She’s still blinking up at me with that embarrassed look on her pretty round face, and I narrow my eyes and then wink at her. I smack my lips and kiss my fingertips like a chef who’s just tasted something exquisite, and she giggles and swats at the air.
“You’re sick,” she whispers. “Perverted. An animal.”
“You did call me Bigfoot,” I reply. “And I’m just getting started, Babycakes.”
“I think we’re descending into your fantasy now,” she says with another giggle. But her breath catches when I lean back and pull my fatigues off over my head and without missing a beat rip my undershirt down the middle. “OK, maybe we’re back in my fantasy again,” she mutters, her eyes glazing over as I spread my arms out wide like I’m the fucking God of War. I’m muscled like a beast, tattooed like a convict, scarred and striped from every fight I’ve ever been in, starting from the time I took on nine guys on the playground when I was five years old. I lost that fight, but I loved every minute of it. It showed me who I was, what my life was going to be about. It hinted at my destiny, just like El’s curves did when I first laid eyes on her ass upstairs.
“I’m yours, El,” I say as I let her look at me, at her man. “And you’re mine. Do you understand that? This isn’t just a one-time thing. This is forever. This is fucking forever, El.”
“You’re crazy,” she whispers, but she’s nodding her head slowly and I know she understands. Her body understands. Her heart understands. Her soul understands. Her brain still can’t come to terms with it, but I’ll win that part of her over too. First things first, though.
“This is my first, Edge,” she whispers up at me as I slowly undo my pants, pulling off my heavy belt and carefully placing it out of the way so my gun doesn’t go off when I give myself to the arousal that this woman is unleashing in my coiled body.
I barely understand what s
he’s saying, and it takes me a minute for the words to register. “What?” I say, cocking my head and frowning. El is clearly younger than me by at least a decade, but she’s well past college age, maybe even thirty. “Oh, I see,” I say, deciding that this is part of that schoolgirl fantasy she’s carried with her for years. “Well, I’ll be gentle with your virgin pussy, Babycakes. To begin with, at least.”
She snorts and rolls her eyes before glancing back at me with a vulnerability that takes me off guard. “Fuck, are you serious?” I whisper.
El nods, blinking like she’s ashamed or something. I don’t give a fuck if she’s slept with a hundred guys before me—she’s mine now and that’s it. All the men in her past can go suck each other’s dicks. They don’t fucking matter. But the thought of me being the first, that my tongue just tasted El’s virgin sweetness gets me so fucking hard that I almost pass out from how tight my underwear feels.
“I never had a boyfriend in high school, and in college I decided I was going to lose my virginity,” she says, her voice hesitant as I fumble with my pants like I’m a fucking schoolboy now!
But the moment I get my pants and underwear off and see my cock spring out in front of me, beastly hard, tremendously thick, glistening from my own pre-cum that’s been oozing down my shaft from the moment I saw El, I grunt and nod. Nah, I’m not a fucking schoolboy anymore. I’m a man about to take his woman. Take her for the first time.
“Go on,” I say, sensing this is important to her. I grit my teeth and frown at the way my cock is inching towards her pink slit like she’s got a magnet in there, but I’m going to hold firm until El says what she needs to say.
But El is quiet, and when I look up I see that she’s staring at my cock like she’s never seen anything like it. A tight smile breaks on my lips when I see that she’s mesmerized, and I exhale and slowly rise from my haunches onto my knees, my cock gently bouncing, a thick bead of pre-cum glistening as it slowly drips onto the floor between her legs.
Curvy for Him: The CEO and the Soldier (Curvy for Him Series Book 5) Page 4