by E. L. Todd
Just For You
Book Twenty-Nine of The Forever and Ever Series
E. L. Todd
Chapter One
Slade
There was a knock on my door but I didn’t answer it. I sat at the tiny table with a bottle of scotch in front of me. I didn’t even bother using glasses anymore. Then I had to wash them and put them back in the cabinet. Drinking straight from the bottle was easier.
“Slade, open the door.” It was Mike.
I remained silent. Mike was the last person I wanted to talk to. He probably came here to break my neck. That was fine by me. My life was empty and meaningless anyway.
The door opened and Mike stepped inside. He spotted me at the table and stared at me for a few seconds before he shut the door and approached the table. He eyed the bottle of scotch.
“Help yourself.” I held the bottle out to him.
“I’m good.” He sat in the chair across from me.
“Your loss.” I took another long drink.
Mike was wearing a suit like he just got off work. His massive shoulders covered the entire chair. He stared at me with a dark look but it wasn’t threatening.
“Are you here to kill me?”
“No.”
“Well, you should kill me. I deserve it.”
“Why?” He sounded calm, practically bored.
“Because I let Trinity down. I promised her I would be an amazing husband and I failed.”
“How so?”
“What do you mean how so?” I snapped. “She almost got raped because of me. She got a black eye because of me. And then I told her secret when I shouldn’t have. If you add up all the things I’ve done in the past we’d be here all day.”
Mike didn’t move. He didn’t even blink. “None of those things are your fault.”
“Are you drunk?” I asked seriously. “I’m the only one to blame.”
“What happened to Trinity wasn’t your fault. Things happen, and you can’t control everything. That’s an unrealistic expectation to have. And you’re forgetting that nothing happened—because of you. You saved her. You protected her.”
I shook my head. “If I never walked into the water nothing would have happened at all. Now Trinity is terrified to live her life because I wasn’t there for her.”
“And what would have been the solution?” he asked. “Go on a honeymoon and never leave her side—ever? What if she needed to use the restroom? What if she needed to do something that you can’t be there for? Slade, you’re being too hard on yourself.”
“I’m shocked this is coming from you. Of all people, I figured you would agree with me.”
“Well, I don’t,” he said. “You’re great with Trinity. She loves you, and I love you.”
I averted my gaze and took another drink.
“Nobody is perfect, Slade. Sean is great with his wife but he wasn’t always perfect. He messed up a lot in that relationship. Slowly, he learned and got better. Look at you. You’ve changed so much from the beginning. You aren’t giving yourself credit where you deserve it.”
“Trinity deserves the best and I’m clearly not the best.”
“But she doesn’t want the best, Slade. She wants you.”
I leaned back in my chair and balled my fists. “I’m tired of hurting her. I keep doing it. I promised I wouldn’t and I went back on my word. If a man doesn’t have his word what does he have?”
“You shouldn’t have made a ridiculous promise like that. Do you remember what I did to my family?” He rested his hands on the table. “I was driving drunk and almost killed myself. Do you have any idea how much that hurt my wife? I’ve been married to her for a long time but I still mess up—not on purpose.”
I didn’t have an argument against that.
“Breaking up isn’t the solution. In fact, it’ll hurt Trinity more than anything else.”
I knew it would hurt her. But it would hurt her far less down the road. “You should go.”
Mike sighed in irritation. “Slade, you’re being stupid right now.”
“No, I’m thinking clearly. I betrayed her.”
“The black eye was an accident.”
“It still shouldn’t have happened,” I said as I shook my head. “And I shouldn’t have said anything to my dad. Let’s face it, I’m not cut out for this. I’ll never be cut out for this.”
“Yes, you are.”
“Seriously, just go,” I said. “You hated me for half of our relationship. I know you don’t mean a word you say.”
“I mean every word I say. You’re my son now and I don’t want to lose you.”
“Trinity will find someone better.”
“But she wants you.” He rubbed the back of his neck in irritation. “Slade, Trinity asked me to come over here. She begged me to make you change your mind. Please don’t hurt my little girl like this. As a father, I’m begging you.”
My heart throbbed in my chest.
“Please.” He leaned over the table and stared at me with a broken look.
The stare was too intense and I looked down. “Just go.”
Mike sighed and remained in his seat. After minutes of silence, he rose from the table then put his hands in his pockets. “I hope you realize what a mistake this all is. And I hope you realize you’re the perfect man for my daughter.”
***
I stopped in front of Trinity’s door with the papers in my hand. The hallway suddenly felt smaller and foreign. It didn’t feel like my home anymore. The door wasn’t recognizable. I didn’t want to do this and it was taking all my strength to put one foot in front of the other. Finally, I knocked.
Trinity opened the door, and a look of relief came over her face when she saw me. She obviously assumed I was there for a different reason. She immediately moved into my chest, and her scent filled the air around me. Her soft hair brushed against my arm. Then her lips moved near mine.
I discreetly turned my face to avoid the kiss. I couldn’t be with her again. If I did, I would be lost. There would be no strength left in my body to resist. My entire frame craved her. Every night I went to sleep I missed her. I could barely keep my eyes closed because it didn’t feel right sleeping without her. A piece of my soul had been ripped out of my chest.
Trinity flinched slightly as I rejected her. Then she looked at me with those hollow eyes.
“I just came to drop this off.” I handed her the thick envelope.
“What is it?” She didn’t take it.
“Just read it over and give it back to me after you sign it.”
“Sign what?” Her eyes moistened then she opened the package. She took out the papers and flipped through them. “Divorce papers?”
I kept a stoic face and tried not to get emotional about it. She had no idea how hard this was for me.
“Is this a joke?” Her emotions went from zero to a hundred in a second. “I’m not signing these!” She ripped the papers in half then into quarters. She flung the pieces into the air and they slowly drifted to the ground. “This needs to stop, Slade! Get your shit and bring it back here—your home.”
I bowed my head and released a heavy sigh.
“Why are you doing this to me…?” Her eyes watered. “Everything was perfect and then it went to hell.”
“I’m sorry.” I was responsible for everything.
“No, I’m sorry, Slade. I shouldn’t have gotten so upset. This is all my fault. Now please come home.”
“I can’t, Trinity. In a few weeks we’ll be back to this. It’s not you. I’m just incapable of giving you what you need.”
“Knock it off!” She flung her arms down in a rage. “You’re the most amazing husband in the world. I won’t have anyone else but you and you won’t have anyone else but me. So let’s just make it w
ork.”
“I would love to,” I snapped. “But I can’t figure out how.”
“You’re doing a great job. You don’t need to change anything, Slade.”
“I gave you a black eye, you were almost raped, and I betrayed your secret—I’m worthless.”
“First of all, those first two weren’t your fault. And secondly, I understand why you did it. I totally overreacted. Don’t throw us away because of my stupidity. Don’t you understand, Slade? I fucked up—not you.”
I wanted to believe her. I really did.
“Now come inside.” She grabbed my arm and tried to pull me in. “I’ll make dinner and we can watch TV on the couch—just like we used to.”
That sounded so appetizing. “Trinity…”
“Come on.” She yanked me hard until we were pressed together. Then she cupped my face and tried to kiss me.
I quickly stepped back. “No, I can’t.”
Trinity looked devastated. “What you’re doing now is worse than anything you’ve ever done before. This is just cold and spiteful. You’re crushing my soul. I can’t function without you being here. What happened to forever? What happened to eternity? Did you mean any of that?”
My eyes watered. “Of course I did. I’m doing this because it’s the right thing to do.”
“No, you’re just doing this because you’re an asshole.” She walked into the apartment and slammed the door.
I stood there and felt my chest heave. I felt like death was creeping into my veins. My world was shaken and I didn’t know who I was anymore. My eyes burned with tears and I stared at the scraps of paper on the floor.
The door opened again and Trinity marched to me.
I stared at her and didn’t know what to expect.
Then she pulled her wedding ring off her finger and shoved it into my chest. “Take it back. You should be able to get some decent cash for it.” She marched back into the apartment.
I caught the ring before it fell and stared at it. My heart broke cleanly in two. I remembered the day I bought it for her. I remembered when I proposed. And I remembered putting it on her finger the day we got married.
I broke down in tears.
Chapter Two
Trinity
“I need your help.” I paced in front of Cayson and Skye.
“What can we do?” Skye asked.
“I already talked to him,” Cayson said. “Slade is too far-gone. He won’t even listen to reason anymore.”
“He’s always been self-conscious about this,” I said as I paced. “And I understand why he’s having a breakdown. A lot of things happened at once.”
“Then what do we do?” Skye asked. “Get him to see a therapist?”
“Or just beat the shit out of him,” Cayson said. “I’m down with that.”
I was too, actually. “Slade and I haven’t had sex in almost a month. If I can get him to sleep with me, all of this will go away.”
“You’re that good in bed?” Skye asked in surprise.
I ignored the jab. “I just know he won’t be able to resist me at that point. It’ll connect us and he won’t be able to leave me. He actually came to my door with divorce papers.”
“Fucking lunatic,” Cayson muttered.
“So, this is the plan.” I clapped my hands together.
“How are we supposed to help?” Skye said.
“Actually, I need Cayson’s help,” I said. “And Arsen’s…”
Cayson raised an eyebrow. “I’m not sure I want to know.”
“Just hear me out,” I said. “I need you and Arsen to go to his apartment, remove his clothes, and tie him down—”
“I’m not doing that,” Cayson barked.
“Please,” I said.
“I’m not getting Slade naked,” he said. “That’s too damn weird.”
“You don’t have to look,” I said.
“You’re basically asking him to help you rape Slade,” Skye said. “Isn’t that a little crazy?”
“No,” I said. “It needs to be done. If I can make it happen, he’ll listen to me. Trust me on this.”
Cayson still looked uncomfortable. “Dudes don’t see other dudes naked.”
“Tell Roland that,” Skye snapped.
“Not when they’re friends,” Cayson argued. “It’s just too weird. Slade and I will always be awkward after that.”
“He’ll get over it,” I said. “Please, Cayson. We’ve both tried everything else. I know Slade doesn’t really want to get divorced.”
“I know that too,” Cayson admitted.
“Now help me.” I clutched my hands to my chest. “Please.”
He rubbed his palms against his face as he sighed. “God, this is going to be weird.”
“I’m not helping,” Skye said. “Forget it.”
“I understand that,” I said.
“And I’m keeping my eyes closed,” Cayson said. “Otherwise I’ll go permanently blind.”
Chapter Three
Slade
I stared out the window as the city continued its existence without my participation. People walked across the street and headed to shops and bars. The cabs flew by as they got people where they needed to go. Everything passed me by. Now I was just a bystander.
There was a knock on the door. “Slade, it’s Cayson.”
I continued to look out the window. “What do you want?” Last time we spoke it didn’t end on good terms.
“We’re coming in.”
We?
Cayson entered the apartment, Arsen in tow. “What’s up?” His hands were in his pockets and he shifted his weight like he was uncomfortable.
“You tell me.” I eyed him, knowing something was off.
He shrugged. “Just came by to see how you’re doing.”
“Well, I’m doing terrible. Thanks for asking.”
Arsen approached me with a grim look on his face. “Anything I can do?”
“No.” I stared at the floor.
Cayson moved to the bed then bounced on the mattress, feeling the springs. “At least this is decently comfortable.”
“I guess.” Why did he care how comfortable my bed was?
Arsen sat beside him. “Yeah, not bad. My cot in prison was just as comfortable as sleeping on tile.”
“I’m glad you guys like my bed,” I said sarcastically.
“What is this?” Cayson asked as he examined it. “A twin?”
“Yes…” Why were they being weird? “Do you want it or something?”
“No.” Arsen touched the pillar at the corner. “Nice wood.”
“Seriously, what are you guys doing?” I asked.
“Just wanted to see if you want to hang out,” Cayson said.
“Well, I don’t.” I turned my gaze out the window. “Unless you want to get drunk.”
Cayson and Arsen whispered to one another.
“What are you girls saying over there?” I asked.
“Do you want to head to a bar?” Cayson left the bed then approached my chair by the window. His hands were at his sides.
Arsen joined him. “There’s this new place just a block over. Let’s try it.”
I shrugged. “I guess drinking with friends is better than drinking alone.” I rose to my feet then put my phone in my pocket.
“NOW!” Cayson grabbed me by the neck then threw me toward the bed.
Arsen grabbed me next then got my arm in a tight hold.
“What the fuck are you assholes doing?” I twisted my body and got free of Arsen.
Cayson pushed me on the bed then put his entire body on me. “Get his pants.”
“What?” I blurted. “Are you raping me?”
Arsen undid my button and zipper and started to pull them off.
I kicked my legs violently. “You guys are sick! Totally sick!”
“Now get his boxers,” Cayson commanded.
“Seriously, what’s wrong with you?” I snapped. “What the hell is this?”
“Do I have
to?” Arsen said with a groan.
“Just keep your eyes closed,” Cayson said.
I tried to head butt Cayson. “You guys are sick freaks.”
Arsen got my boxers off. “They’re gone.”
“Now tie up his legs.” Cayson put all his weight on me so I couldn’t fight him. He weighed more than me, and in this position there was nothing I could do. “I always knew you were too sensitive.”
Arsen got one leg tied to the pillar then moved to the other leg.
“I thought you were my friends,” I shouted. “But you’re just a bunch of sick assholes!”
“Got the legs,” Arsen said.
“Help me with his arms,” Cayson said.
“I’m going to bite your face off,” I warned. “Seriously. Now let me go.”
Arsen moved to one side of my body while Cayson manned the other.
“Let’s do the left side first,” Caysons said.
Arsen held my right side. “Go.”
Cayson tried to pull my arm through one sleeve but I kept pulling it from his grasp. Every time he got close I pulled it away. “Fuck this. Let’s cut it off.”
“Why do you have to get my shirt off?” I asked. “My bottoms are off—that’s the best part.”
Arsen pulled out heavy-duty scissors. “I suggest you don’t fight it otherwise you’re going to get stabbed.”
“No, I love this shirt,” I said as I eyed the weapon in his hand.
“Then cooperate,” Cayson said.
“I’m not letting you rape me,” I said. “I thought you were straight.”
“We aren’t raping you,” Arsen said.
“Are you going to let us take your shirt off?” Cayson asked.
“Tell me why you’re doing this,” I said.
“You’ll see,” Arsen said.
Since there was no way I could get out of this situation, I decided to cooperate and preserve my shirt. “I’m going to get you back for this. When I’m free from these chains I will destroy both of you—I mean it.”
Cayson tossed the shirt aside then secured my arms to the headboard. “We’ll see about that.”
“Don’t you dare take a picture of me,” I warned.
“Like we want to see this again.” Arsen left the bed then pocketed his scissors.