by E. L. Todd
“I just…” Her hand paused on my chest while she stared at the area covering my heart. Then she started to move again without finishing her sentence. “Nevermind.”
“No, tell me.”
“I loved Jared very much when we were together. But with you, it’s different. I love you in a way I never loved him. You’re so much…more. I’m so pathetically in love with you and that turns me into a person I don’t recognize. I don’t want to share you with anyone. I want to hoard you to myself like a selfish person. Because when I think about you not being in my life…it terrifies me.” She turned her gaze to mine and searched for something in my eyes.
“I’m pathetically in love with you too. And I’m a very jealous and possessive man.”
“You are?” Her voice came out as a whisper against the sound of the falling water.
“You didn’t catch onto that?” I pressed my lips to her shoulder and bit her gently. My teeth pinched her skin then I returned my face to hers. My hand moved to her ear and I felt the diamond in her lobe. “I shower you with gifts because I want every man to know there’s a man in your life.”
“Well, I always smell like you. So I think they already know.”
“That’s not enough.” My hands moved around her waist and I felt her in my arms. “And never worry about me not being in your life. That would only happen if you walked away first.”
“Then I guess I have nothing to worry about.”
“No.” I cupped her face and kissed her. “You’re my best friend. And what would I do without my best friend?”
A smile crept across her lips. “Dance alone in your living room. Play tennis with a wall. And eat store-bought pie.”
“See? That’s no way to live.”
She chuckled. “No, it’s not.”
“Now enough serious talk. Let’s go to Roland’s and have a good time.”
“Okay.”
***
Roland opened the door then gave me a big hug. “Hey, man. You’ve gotten bigger?”
“Never miss a day of weights.” I clapped his back and stood back. “You look the same.”
“Well, thanks.” Roland turned to me. “Hey, Lexie.” He hugged her hard then lifted her off the ground. She giggled.
“Dude, she’s not a toy,” I said as I grabbed her and put her back on the ground.
“She’s so tiny,” Roland said. “I just want to throw her in the air.”
“Don’t,” I said quickly. “How would you feel if I decided to throw Heath around?”
He shrugged. “That might be entertaining.”
I rolled my eyes. “Heath?”
Heath came out of the kitchen. “Just in time. Dinner is ready.” He hugged me and clapped me on the back. “You’re looking good.”
“Thanks. But don’t compare my cousin to this ridiculous standard,” I said. “He’ll never compete.”
“Hey,” Roland said defensively.
Heath chuckled then hugged Lexie next. “Thank you for coming. Roland and I are excited to have you as a guest.”
“The pleasure is mine,” she said.
“Alright,” Roland said as he clapped his hands. “Let’s sit down and eat. I’ve been starving all day.”
We gathered around the table and my hand immediately went to Lexie’s thigh. She wore a dress so I felt the softness of her skin. Just touching her made me want to wrap her legs around my waist and take her right on the table.
“Wine?” Roland held the bottle up.
I was snatched from my quick daydream. “Sure.”
Roland poured it then began eating. “Heath, this is good.”
“Thanks,” Heath said. “It’s an Irish dish.”
“Is that why there’s potatoes in it?” I teased.
Heath chuckled. “Yes, we’re bit obsessed.”
Lexie ate quietly but didn’t eat much. She never ate quickly or large portions. She mainly snacked throughout the day. Perhaps that was why she had such a nice body.
“What’s new with you?” Roland asked.
“Nothing really,” I said. “Cayson and Skye are getting married soon. They better not put you in charge of the cakes.”
Roland threw his silverware down. “Let it go already.”
Heath laughed. “You almost ruined the wedding.”
“It wasn’t my fault,” Roland said defensively. “I had nothing to do with it.”
“Yeah, okay…” Heath kept eating but there was a smile on his face. “I won’t let you be in charge of anything at our wedding.”
“Go to hell,” Roland said under his breath.
I tried not to laugh.
“How’s your sister?” Roland asked. “Last thing I heard was Slade was adamant about a divorce.”
I shook my head. “No, he’d never go through with it. He’s just being a pussy right now.”
“They’re getting divorced?” Lexie asked in surprise.
“No,” I said. “Slade just thinks he’s not good enough for Trinity. The phase will blow over and he’ll stop thinking about it—hopefully.”
“I hope they work it out,” Lexie said quietly. “They are really cute together.”
“Me too,” Roland said. “But they always work it out so I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“Are you excited for your sister’s wedding?” I asked.
Roland shrugged. “I couldn’t care less. They are practically married as it is.”
I didn’t mean to bring up this subject but I knew it would come up eventually. “Did you hear about Clemy…?”
Roland’s face fell. “Yeah. It’s pretty insane.”
“What?” Heath asked.
“About Clementine stripping,” Roland said quickly.
Heath nodded his head in understanding.
“If Trinity did that…” I shook my head as I thought about it. “My dad would be so pissed off. He would burn down the joint she worked at then murder everyone who ever looked at her.”
“I believe it,” Roland said immediately.
“What’s the big deal about Clementine being a stripper?” Lexie asked.
“Her dad saw the pictures,” I explained. “I’m sure he’s scarred for life.”
“And our family is super protective,” Roland said. “If Skye did that she would never hear the end of it from my father.”
“That doesn’t make Clementine a bad person,” Lexie argued.
“I don’t think it’s a big deal,” I said. “But then again, I didn’t see the pictures. Perhaps if I had I would be upset too. She’s like a sister to me.”
“Yeah…I’m sure it was awkward,” Roland said while he ate. “If I saw pictures of Skye I’d probably throw up.”
“Why did she strip?” Lexie asked.
“Actually, I don’t know,” I said as I shook my head.
“Probably for the money,” Roland said. “Why else do girls strip? For the glory?”
“I don’t think it’s a big deal,” Lexie said. “And no one should judge her for it.”
I wasn’t surprised Lexie took this stance. But unfortunately, not everyone felt this way. “We don’t judge her, Lexie. But since we’re like brothers to her it’s awkward.”
“You guys are acting like she did porn,” Lexie said.
“Showing her elbow is practically porn to her father,” Roland said with a laugh.
“I feel bad for her,” Heath said. “She’s being judged and ridiculed for something she felt comfortable doing. When will people learn to accept everyone for who they are?” He shook his head in disappointment. “Probably never, I assume.”
I hoped Roland didn’t have to deal with that on a daily basis. I didn’t care who he loved or where he put his dick. I loved him for him, regardless of his beliefs or actions. Why couldn’t everyone be that way? The world would be a much better place if it were.
***
Dad ignored me at the office all week. If he needed me to do something, his secretary communicated it to me. After he walked away on the golf
course, I assumed he just needed space. He would bounce back in a day or two.
But he hadn’t.
A part of me felt justified in saying what I said. But another part of me felt bad for offending my father. But either way, I knew I couldn’t leave our relationship like this. We needed to talk and clear the air.
I headed to his office and walked inside.
He was at his desk and texting on his phone, probably saying something to Mom. She was the only person he would talk to in the middle of the day. When he finished with his message he looked up at me. Gray eyes thick as fog met mine, and I couldn’t see through the haze even if I tried. He stared me down with no emotion. “What do you need?” His crisp gray suit matched the color in his irises. He was a big man, resembling a bull in many ways. Sometimes people asked me if my dad was a marine.
“To talk.”
“About?” He was treating me like an employee he didn’t even know.
I put my hands in my pockets and tried to act casual. “I’m sorry about last week. I shouldn’t have gotten so angry during the conversation. Lexie has always been a touchy subject for me.”
He rested his fingers along his jaw.
I waited for him to say something.
He stared at me like he expected me to say more.
“So…are we okay?”
“Do we look okay?”
Man, I really pissed him off. “Why are you so mad?”
“I’m more irritated now than I was a few minutes ago.”
“Because…?”
“Because you have no idea why I’m upset, and you’re giving me a meaningless apology.”
“It’s not meaningless,” I said defensively. “Then tell me why you’re mad.”
“That’s what you should have started with.” He lowered his hand and rested it in his lap. “Your comment about my treatment of Trinity…hurt my feelings.”
“I didn’t mean to…”
“No, you did. That was why you said it. It hurts knowing my kids will never fully understand just how much I love them. I’m not a dictator and a manipulator. I care about you guys and I want the best for both of you. You will never understand this until you have kids of your own. My biggest nightmare is my kids being unhappy. I have to do everything in my power to stop that from happening.”
I chose my next words carefully. “Dad, I know a lot of people don’t have parents who give a damn about them. Look at Arsen. Both of his parents left him without looking back. The only parent he’s somewhat had is Ryan. But Trinity and I have two parents who would do anything for us, and you’ve given us the world. I look up to you in more ways than you realize. I’m sorry I didn’t make that clear before.”
His anger dimmed slightly.
“But you can’t stop us from being unhappy. There’s going to be bumps in the road and there’s going to be pain. There’s nothing you can do about it, Dad. All you can do is guide us along and help us get through it—not prevent it.”
His shoulders sagged slightly as he turned his gaze away for a moment. Then he turned back to me after a long pause. “You’re right. I need to let it go.”
“Besides, I’m an adult now. I can take care of myself, Dad.”
“I know you can, Conrad. But to me, you’ll always be my little boy. I’ll never forget the day you were born and the way I held you in my arms. You looked into my face then grabbed the tip of my nose. The sight made my eyes teary.” He smiled slightly without looking at me.
I leaned over the desk then grabbed the tip of his nose. “Hey, I’m still here. But bigger.” I pulled away and gave him a smile.
He chuckled. “Yeah, you’re right. You’re enormous just like your father.”
“And the ladies like it.” I winked at him.
“Your mother isn’t too fond of that part.”
“Lexie is the jealous type too. But I think it’s kind of hot.”
Dad laughed. “It’s cute when your mom gets worked up.”
“No, that’s just annoying.” I sat in the chair across from his desk. “So, are we okay?”
He nodded. “More than okay, son.”
“Next time I beat you at golf you aren’t going to throw a hissy fit and take off?”
“You didn’t win,” he said immediately. “We didn’t even finish the game.”
“Which means you forfeited the match.”
“You little shit.” He grabbed a pen and threw it at me.
I dodged out of the way and laughed. “You can’t golf and now you can’t pitch…pretty sad.”
“You’re lucky I love you enough to put up with your shit, Conrad.”
“Same back to ya.”
His laughs dissipated and he gave me a serious look. “I meant what I said about Lexie. You should really think about it.”
“I finally got you to loosen up and you went right back to being stiff.”
“Just think about it,” he pressed. “For me.”
I couldn’t deny my father something he was so passionate about. “I will.”
Chapter Eleven
Cayson
When I came home from work I decided to tell Skye about the change of plans. She was sitting on the couch with stacks of binders in front of her. Judging the bright pastel colors, it was information about the wedding.
“Hey, baby.” I loosened my tie then kissed her on the cheek.
“Hey. How was work?”
“It was good.” I sat beside her on the couch. “How’s the wedding stuff?”
“Good. Having it at my parents’ place has made it a lot easier—less stressful than Trinity’s wedding.”
“I bet.”
“Mom took care of all the chairs, tables, lights, and flowers. Dad got the photographer—apparently she’s the best in the business—and now I just need to book the caterers and the DJ.”
“DJ?” I asked. “I assumed we would have a live band.”
“A band?” she asked. “I don’t know…”
“Why not?”
“They have to take breaks in between sets so there will be gaps when there’s no music at all. It’ll be awkward.”
I didn’t think of that.
“DJ is just easier.”
“How about a symphony for the ceremony?” I asked. “Something for you to walk down the aisle to.”
“That would be nice.”
“Any song in mind?”
“No…” She tapped her pen against her lip as she thought.
“You know what song I really love?”
“Hmm?” she asked.
“And I love her,” by the Beatles.
She nodded. “That is a sweet little song.”
“Just something to think about,” I said with a shrug. “I know your dad really likes that song. Whenever we would come over to your place for barbeques that song would play over the speakers. And it always made me think of you.”
“Even when we were young?”
“Every since I hit puberty and saw you in a bikini.” I wasn’t ashamed of admitting my obsession. Skye and I were passed that by now.
Her eyes glowed while she looked at me. “Then that’s the song.”
“Really?” I couldn’t hide the smile in my voice.
“It’s the only song.”
My heart warmed at the gesture. “I think it’ll be perfect.”
“I know it will.” She pulled my face close to hers and gave me a sensual kiss. Our tongues danced together for a moment before she pulled away.
My entire body was on fire.
“So, I think we should—”
I shoved her down into the couch and moved over her. “Fuck now. Talk later.”
***
I rubbed Skye’s back as she lay on my chest on the couch. The wedding binders were abandoned on the coffee table. Her soft hair trailed down her back and I felt it in my fingertips. She had a relaxed expression on her face, like I gave it to her just the way she wanted. “How was your day?”
“Okay. Everyone was tense aroun
d the office.”
“Because of Clementine?”
“Yeah,” she whispered.
I still hadn’t told my dad I was leaving. I was afraid I would give him a heart attack since he was still dealing with Clementine’s problem. “There’s something I want to tell you.”
“I’m all ears.” She rested her chin on my chest and looked up at me.
“I talked to my boss and they got the funding. I’m going to leave after all.”
Excitement moved into her eyes. “Officially?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s so great.” She cupped my cheeks and kissed me. “I’m so glad you’re going. You’re meant to be there.”
“I’m glad it worked out too.” My hand moved to the back of her neck.
As our eyes met, the depression descended. I wanted to leave and knew I had to, and Skye felt the same way. But that didn’t make the separation any easier. Skye was my entire life. Without her, I would be lost.
Judging the sadness in her eyes, she was thinking the same thing.
“It’ll be over before you know it,” I said. “I’ll be back and I’ll never leave you again.”
“I know, Cayson. I’m happy—honestly.”
“I’ll call whenever I can.”
“I know. The gang will keep me company while you save the world.”
I tried not to get too emotional about it but I was struggling. “I’ll never leave you again. I promise. This is a one-time thing.”
“I know.” She rubbed my chest to comfort me. “I’m so proud of you. You’re making a difference in the world, and when we’re apart just know that’s what I’m thinking—and that I miss you.”
“I’ll miss you so much.” I tucked a strand of hair from her face and put it behind her ear.
“I know.”
“We’ll have to soak up every moment together as much as possible.”
“I like the sound of that.” She gave me a smile but it didn’t reach her eyes.
“Everything will be okay. I promise.”
“I know.” She rested her forehead against mine. “We’ll always be okay.”
Chapter Twelve
Slade
I returned my belongings to the apartment I shared with my wife, and I was so glad to be home. That little apartment above the shop never felt comfortable. It didn’t contain Trinity’s scent. I missed the flowers she would put out on the tables, and the little crafts she would make to lighten up the apartment. I missed the smell of scented candles after dinner.