Technically, You Started It

Home > Other > Technically, You Started It > Page 15
Technically, You Started It Page 15

by Lana Wood Johnson


  Feeling better?

  Yeah.

  I should probably sleep.

  Oh, sorry.

  I didn’t mean to keep you up.

  You’re not

  I should sleep anyway

  Church … remember?

  Oh, right.

  Well …

  Sleep tight.

  Don’t let them get to you

  You’re fine just the way you are.

  Whatever.

  Unless you put mayo on your fries and then I take it back.

  But it’s so yummy!

  Now who’s the weirdo?????

  Still you!

  Good night, Francis.

  I’m so sorry about today …

  I didn’t think she’d make us all go to church.

  I would have warned you but there wasn’t time and her parents made us give them our phones before we left.

  It wasn’t a big deal.

  I made everything awkward.

  I didn’t think real life would be so strange.

  I tried to apologize, but I never really had the chance.

  It was fine.

  It was weird.

  I made it weird.

  Church isn’t supposed to be weird.

  See this is how I know you weren’t lying when you said you’ve never actually been to church before.

  It’s weird ALL THE TIME.

  Oh.

  But we were all sitting together there in that group on the benches.

  And then we went to lunch with like EVERYBODY.

  And I was wearing jeans.

  Why was I wearing jeans?

  Jeans were fine

  Other people were wearing jeans.

  Yeah, GUYS. The girls were wearing DRESSES.

  It wasn’t a big deal.

  It was a big deal.

  I mean, it’s not like I was introduced to your grandfather.

  OH WAIT … I WAS!

  He thought you were sweet.

  OMG.

  Wearing jeans, at a church, with a financial genius, near what I presume were your parents or stepparents or whatever.

  Why did that clown drag me over there like that? I could have gotten away with being a lump in the corner the whole day.

  No wonder you didn’t talk to me.

  I wouldn’t talk to me either.

  You weren’t that bad.

  He kept explaining stuff to me like I was a child.

  Like, yes, I’ve seen a cross before. I understand the implications.

  I know you’ve seen a cross before

  It was just a conversation.

  He must think I’m an idiot.

  And then Jack.

  What was THAT about? Did the clown mess up in 3v3 or something?

  I can’t believe I had to sit still for an hour between both of them when they were fighting.

  I thought I was going to die.

  You weren’t sitting still for an hour.

  Oh yes, the CHANTING!!!!!!!

  That wasn’t awkward AT ALL.

  The recitation.

  And the singing? Thankfully my mom likes to sing hymns now and then.

  At least I knew some of the melodies.

  You were fine.

  I’m just glad you’re better at this than I am.

  ???

  Pretending like you don’t know me.

  It was the only way I kept from embarrassing you the way I did that clown.

  You didn’t embarrass me.

  I embarrassed everyone.

  I kept calling your grandfather Martin the First.

  You were clarifying

  He liked it.

  It was weird.

  I was weird.

  You were perfect.

  Don’t freak out.

  But what about you?

  What about me???

  Well, if it’s permissible to acknowledge we saw each other in real life, what were you and Sarah whispering about before?

  ???

  In church.

  In the pews or whatever.

  I don’t know what you’re talking about.

  Don’t you remember? When that old lady shushed you guys??

  …

  Fine. Be like that.

  You are of no use to me!

  FRANCIS.

  You’re right

  I’m not

  Gotta go drink my bagged milk

  That’s not a thing.

  Is!!! But I DO have to go

  Practice.

  Okay, well, I’ll be here replaying every moment of the day in my head.

  Let me know if you finally figure anything out.

  Mostly just more ways to be embarrassed.

  There’s definitely more to figure out than that.

  Whatever, just leave, heartless Canuck.

  God save the Queen!

  I spend WAY TOO MUCH of my life staring out windshields.

  Imagine if you were a trucker.

  Good point.

  I spent WAY TOO MUCH of my summer looking out windshields.

  It’s better than staring at the same four walls most of the time.

  This is where we differ.

  Oh.

  I’ll bet.

  You don’t even have the same four walls to stare at. Do you?

  Don’t get me wrong … I LIKE both my rooms.

  My parents made sure of that.

  Are they all tricked out? Like gaming systems everywhere?

  My father yes. My mother no.

  My father’s whole house is wall-to-wall toys.

  Anything second gen goes into my room.

  Your life sucks.

  Doesn’t it?

  My mother barely lets me have a computer.

  What? With an old dial-up and a two-color monitor?

  Still a top-of-the-line gaming system

  But that’s it

  Just a computer.

  No Xbox

  PS4

  ANYTHING.

  No tablet?

  Well

  I have my tablet AND phone

  But I always have those.

  Obviously.

  You’re making fun of me

  Little bit.

  I don’t need any of your middle-class lip.

  Yeah, you do …

  But I can’t too much.

  I have an old Xbox, live in a house with five computers, and have my own smartphone.

  You’re not bad off either.

  Yeah, I’m really not.

  That’s why I feel bad about freaking out sometimes.

  ???

  Well, I don’t have anything wrong with my life.

  I mean, my parents are reasonable.

  Your parents are awesome.

  Reasonable.

  They take care of me and give me everything I need.

  But they’re constantly annoying.

  And then there’s my friends …

  What happened with your “friends”?

  Lexi asked me to come over and help her with a project.

  I’m not sure I should ever leave the house again.

  ???

  She wants my help painting a mural in her bedroom.

  I didn’t know you are artistic.

  I’m not.

  She just wants me to sit there and talk to her while she paints.

  You should go.

  I should. But I just can’t.

  There’s too much in my head.

  What are you up to instead? More kissing books?

  No, helping my mom with a project.

  She kinda hates our bathroom.

  So I’m organizing the linen closet.

  Sounds …

  Weird?

  Boring?

  Obsessive?

  Let’s go with “boring.”

  I am sorting things by kind and putting them in baskets and labeling the baskets.

  Obsessive it is!

  But in a good way

  Sounds kinda helpful.

&nb
sp; It will be. It has to be.

  If I never leave the house again, at least I’ll know where to find the tweezers.

  Personal hygiene bucket?

  … the first aid bucket.

  That makes sense.

  You think I should put them in personal hygiene.

  First aid but hang them off the side?

  I should have thought of that.

  I’m going to screw this up too.

  I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.

  Nothing to do, really.

  I’ll think of something.

  Weirdo.

  Your fault.

  Whatever.

  Lunch is over.

  Good luck with your sorting.

  Good luck with your windshield!

  Thanks!

  How goes the bathroom?

  For two women who never paint our nails, we sure do own a lot of nail polish.

  Why don’t you paint your nails?

  Not a lot of point.

  It’s a lot of work for very little benefit.

  I can see that

  I like the idea of painted nails more than the real thing.

  My mom likes them, but she says she likes them better when they flake off.

  ???

  She used to be goth back in the day.

  Explains SO much.

  Yeah, but she says she was a terrible one. But still, she tells stories about being a club kid in DC the first time goth was a thing.

  She was also a pitiful club kid.

  She was the sober one who used to babysit everyone else.

  If it were anyone else … I wouldn’t believe it.

  Right?

  Can’t you just see her? Surrounded by the eternal ennui and still totally in control?

  Downing acetaminophen at four to six hour intervals.

  Hah! You remembered.

  That’s got to be it. Acetaminophen and an overactive responsibility complex.

  Have you checked HER for a “so responsible it hurts” tattoo?

  If she has one, it’s not in any of the obvious places.

  I’m leaving that alone.

  At least she gives me a really good excuse if anyone tries to push drugs or alcohol on me.

  “Thanks, but no, I’m so responsible it hurts.”

  Has that ever happened?

  No, but I’m totally ready for the day it does.

  I’m looking forward to witnessing it.

  You’d be so lucky.

  I’m bringing popcorn.

  You get me.

  It’s for me to munch on while you destroy the peer pressure-er.

  Yes, but when I’m done I’ll have popcorn!

  IF I save you any.

  You would.

  You sure of that?

  You’d be too afraid not to.

  True

  Very true.

  Sorry I disappeared last night.

  Mom started talking to me and next thing I knew it was plug-in.

  I figured.

  I’ll be slow

  At the game.

  You better not be in the outfield texting me.

  I play third base.

  Well, you better not be on your phone at third base—you’ll get hit in the head with a ball.

  We’re at bat

  I’m up in a bit.

  Are you any good at batting?

  I’ve hit the ball before.

  So, no.

  I’m not joining the school team.

  No MBA or whatever?

  Major League Baseball.

  Oh, I should have remembered that.

  I’m disappointed.

  You should be.

  Back after I strike out.

  so youre even texting him at the game??

  Who is this?

  his dear friend jack

  who is this??

  No one you know.

  Should you be touching your friend’s phone?

  why not?? he touches plenty of my stuff

  How about you lock his phone up and put it away?

  he has you saved as HER??????

  why are you keeping this all a big secret

  Stop being a jerk.

  oh come on … prove me right

  No. Jack, what’s wrong with you?

  just that im always right

  You’re just gossip-mongering.

  i don’t want him hurt

  You’re the one hurting your friend, not me.

  youll understand if i don’t trust you

  I don’t know why you wouldn’t.

  pretty sure you do

  You don’t know me and I don’t know you, so I don’t see why you’re making a big deal out of this.

  don’t think so

  can always check the history

  bet it wouldnt take much to prove youre the dangerous one

  You can’t and you won’t.

  I’m a total stranger from the internet.

  And you’re two poor life choices away from death.

  you did not just threaten me over M

  youve been flirting with him????

  I’m not flirting with him.

  We’re just friends.

  This is his cousin, Martin II

  You are aware there’s two of us

  Of course I know there’s two of you.

  Now put your cousin’s phone down and walk away while I’m being nice.

  Don’t mind Jack he’s a bit

  Are you coming to Wade’s party this weekend?

  I have no interest in public scrutiny.

  Interesting … normally girls want to show off Munroes every chance they get

  Why are you being like this?

  If my cousin is interested enough in you to talk to you this much, I don’t see why I shouldn’t be interested as well

  You’re not remotely interested in me.

  I’m a distraction because you’re bored.

  You’re playing with me.

  Admit it!

  ME AGAIN!

  The one time I get a base hit

  Of course I was stuck out there.

  I’m so sorry.

  I SWEAR I locked my phone.

  OMG.

  I totally freaked.

  I just kept talking to them.

  I couldn’t stop.

  I’m sorry.

  I hope I didn’t make things weird.

 

‹ Prev